Recently, weird things have been happening in increasing frequency. First, Yu Haiqiao went to privately meet with his ex-girlfriend during work, and then a junior high school classmate added me to WeChat to share things I didn’t know about. This morning, after I finished interviewing someone, I noticed a friend request on my WeChat. At first, I thought it was something related to work. After I added the person, they quickly sent me a message, it read, “I’m Xiao Chen, do you still remember me?”
This was certainly an odd matter that needed to be contemplated.
Xiao Chen was the person I mentioned before, studying music when I was in university. Yu Haiqiao told me that he saw this guy with a girl who was 1.55 meters tall in his arms, walking happily towards a hotel, so I had blacklisted his phone number, WeChat and all other contact methods, so as to never get in touch with him again. Now that he had suddenly appeared and contacted me after 8-9 years, I knew that something was up.
Moreover, this person was somewhat regarded as a 19th tier small celebrity. It seemed as if he had also participated in singing shows, but he was probably one of the contestants who got eliminated in the first few rounds. At the very least, he could be looked up on the internet. I had only learnt about his becoming a celebrity from Yu Haiqiao. At that time, we were both at home watching some boring variety show when the advertisements came on and Yu Haiqiao pointed at the TV, saying, “Shi Ran, this guy looks a little familiar.” I stared at the person in the commercial in deep ponder for a long time before I realized this person ws Chen Xiao. I felt like he had undergone a bit of plastic surgery and for some reason, he also looked a bit taller. I then told Yu Haiqiao his name in an unsure tone.
Yu Haiqiao still pretended to put on a confused face at first, turning to look at me, “Who?”
I thought he hadn’t heard me clearly, and repeated the person’s name again, “Xiao Chen.”
His eyes narrowed slightly, as if he was trying strongly to recall.
I added, “Didn’t I tell you about someone who studied music when I was in university…”
Yu Haiqiao suddenly went “Oh” in enlightenment and then firmly told me, “The insoles in this guy’s shoes are definitely ten centimeters tall.” After saying that, he took the remote control and changed to another channel.
And 10 minutes right before this exchange happened, I refused to change the channel to the variety show he particularly wanted to watch, so he seized the remote control from me like a mad dog. After I angrily hit him for doing so and was about to take my tablet to watch the drama I wanted, back in my own room, this guy grabbed my arm and told me that I caused him to have internal injuries so I couldn’t leave. If I did, he would die on the sofa in my living room because there was no one to take care of him.
And so, I beat him up again, hoping that he could die directly on the sofa of our living room under my hands.
**
I have no idea whether Xiao Chen had since upgraded from being a 19th tier unknown star to an 18th tier unknown star after such a long time, but I took the time to click on his circle of friends and found that upon becoming a celebrity, he had inexplicably become more photogenic. Even though I didn’t reply to his message, I did not block him. After all, he grew up pretty well. As one of the few good-looking men in my circle of friends, I felt the obligation to keep him in my list of friends. Who knows? Perhaps one day he would blow up and I could have a peek into the life of a popular celebrity.
After this weird thing happened, I wanted to tell Yu Haiqiao on WeChat immediately, but thinking about the scummy things Yu Haiqiao had done as of late, I stared at the stupid cat on his profile picture and thought for a long time. In the end, I didn’t send him a message and even put him into my blacklist.
The 18th or 19th tier celebrity Xiao Chen didn’t message me back after I ignored his message. Instead, it was Yang Wei, who added me into the classmate group yesterday afternoon. Oh..it should be said that he now had a different name. Yesterday afternoon, when he added me into the group, he used it under his new name. I looked at the new name in deep ponder for a while and tried my best to recall all the people I’ve met in my 30 years of life, feeling that I had no recollection of anyone who had this name. And so, I sent him a question mark. He then sorrowfully told me that his original name back in junior high was “Yang Wei”[1]. This name had given him a lot of pressure back in his innocent years which was why when he finally graduated from senior high and turned 18 years old, which was the age you’re allowed to change your own name, he braved the risk of getting his legs broken by his father and added another character in his household register name. So now, he went by the name Yang Xiongwei.
Cough, Yang Xiongwei asked me on WeChat if I had decided to participate in the class reunion, how much was needed to pay for the class reunion, how much the subsidies were to be used for group activities, and also asked me if I were in contact with any more of our junior high school classmates. For example, Yu Haiqiao—my particularly ‘good friend’ in junior high school.
Who was also coincidentally the same person who told the guy who had a crush on me that I was a girl with stinky feet.
I gave Yang Xiongwei a small smile, and then told him with great pain——“Yu Haiqiao is dead.”
There was a long silence before he sent me an “Ah”, and I continued to say——”I forgot to tell you yesterday. Your new name sounds so good that hearing it makes people think of a bright future.”
Yao XiongWei: “Why do I feel like you’re mocking me.”
I sincerely returned eight words and two punctuation marks——How could that be, there’s no such thing.
Then I quickly added, “I’m working right now. I should be able to participate in the class reunion.”
After a while, I became curious again, “But why are you the one organizing the class reunion?” New chapters come out on g.com first.
If my memory serves me correctly, this guy didn’t look like he was passionate about studying in junior high. If the gathering was organized by Yu Haiqiao, I could still see it because the b!tch’s grades back then were really good, receiving all the teacher’s praise. Even though he was a lazy ass in reality, the possibility of him organizing a reunion extremely low, not even joining any groups, but having the responsibility fall on the Yang Wei who had caused incessant headaches for our class teacher back then, was unimaginable no matter how I think of it.
In the end, this Yang Wei…cough, Yang Xiongwei sent me a shy emoji, and then said——”I organized it with my wife.”
“?” I aloofly replied with a question mark.
Then he told me that his wife was the class monitor of our class. I remembered that the class monitor in junior high was a thin and small girl who wore glasses. Although she was less than 1.6 meters tall, the aura she gave made her seem like she was 1.8 meters tall. When she sent glares to troublemaking students like Yang Wei, they would often turn into pitiful and helpless beings like quails. I let out a “Wow” and expressed my congratulations.
Yang Wei sheepishly thanked me for my greetings, and started to inquire about my marital status.
I told him solemnly and painfully, “I’m widowed.”
Silence prevailed for a long time before he silently sent two words, “My condolences.”
I replied, “You’re too polite. The happiest thing that has happened to me so far in my thirty years of life is my husband dying so I can obtain his inheritance.”
Yang Wei did not speak for a long time, and only gave a dry laugh, responding. “I’m going off, bye bye.”
I politely returned it with a small smile, “Bye bye.”
Because I muted most of the insignificant group chats, I didn’t see hundreds of messages in the junior high gathering group chat until I clicked on WeChat when I was feeling bored at lunch, and I took a look inside.
[1] Yang Wei (杨伟): can be mistaken for 阳痿 (also Yang Wei) but it means ‘Impotence’ lol