I could hear the music from down the block, a fact that I imagined the neighbors were not too happy about.
It was loud and mostly bass, with looping lyrics that made absolutely no sense if you paid attention to them for even a moment.
But making sense, the audience just needed something with a simple beat that they could grind, twerk, and jump to.
I ended up stashing my bike a couple of houses down in a bush and walking the rest of the way, eventually stepping onto the driveway that was packed to the brim with cars, a few of which were already occupied and rocking side to side.
That sight alone was enough to kick the voices awake, whispering about how easy it would be to find someone vulnerable, someone easy.
But with a small push, I forced the voices to the back of my mind.
I needed to find Rue first and make sure she wasn’t in some corner out of her mind.
Walking through the front door, I was greeted by a wall of sound, smells, and most notably people.
However, in stark contrast to Adrian’s memories, this time I stood at least a full head above everyone else, and in most cases my shoulders would be at their eye level.
I stood there for a heartbeat and felt the energy around me shift so strongly that my unmedicated mind manifested it as a physical phenomenon; a vibrant neon smoke drifted hastily through the crowd, reflecting the energy and excitement in the room.
That smoke was pulled towards me as people looked in my direction, their gazes lingering for a second longer than was normal.
The attention ran over my skin like electricity, and I felt my lips curve into a small but confident smirk as I stepped forward and people moved to get out of my way.
Making my way into the house proper, I subtly scanned the crowd for Rue, though I didn’t expect to find her in the moshpit of writhing bodies.
No, upstairs or outside was far more likely.
I glanced at the stairs and watched the neon smoke shift from its vibrant, almost painfully bright hues to ones that were far more subdued.
However, that lack of vibrancy was made up for by the depth and boldness on display as I noted the pairs attached at the hip, their hands growing bolder as liquid courage did its magic.
The voices flared, drawn to the tantric energy, but I glanced away before becoming entrapped, and instead made my way outside where neons turned into pastels drifting lazily in the open air.
Standing on the steps leading outside, I scanned the backyard, where people huddled in groups quietly conversing around the pool, over a joint or bong.
Then I glanced over to the right and saw a cushioned outdoor sofa by the pool that had been claimed by a single man.
I was moving before I realized it, walking straight towards the sofa, not bothering to hide my approach.
I made it within three feet before the man noticed, though he didn’t look perturbed by me approaching; why should he?
There was only one reason why someone should be walking up to him.
“What’s going on, man…you looking for something?” Fez asked, holding a backpack at his feet, no doubt stocked with a collection of narcotics.
“Nah, I just came here to talk with you for a minute,” I said while taking a seat on the far end of the sofa.
That got Fez’s attention, and I watched as wisps of smoke started rising from his body- wariness, caution, and excitement- a proverbial hair trigger.
“Yeah, what about?” Fez asked as he sat up, getting ready to react in case I decided talking wasn’t enough.
I watched Fez’s eyes and instantly knew the answer.
“Why you wanna know?” Fez muttered, and I could hear the protective edge in his voice, which made me smile a little.
“You know, while I don’t mind you acting like Rue’s brother, don’t forget that she actually has one.”
Fez’s eyes widened with realization, “Oh shit… that you, Adrian?”
I nodded my head and watched as Fez relaxed.
We had only met once before, when I first had my suspicions about Rue’s behavior and decided to follow her after school, where I watched Rue buy opioids from Fez.
I confronted him afterward, wanting to see what kind of lowlife my sister was getting involved with.
But a single conversation was enough to convince me of Fez’s character: drug dealer or not, the man had morals, and back then that was enough for me to convince myself that I didn’t need to worry about Rue or intervene.
“Fuck man…you got real big real quick,” Fez muttered as he sank back into the sofa and pulled out a joint, “Also no, I haven’t seen Rue.”
“You mean you haven’t seen her tonight,” I corrected calmly, making Fez pause, “I know she scored from you earlier.
Probably the first thing she did after our mom let her leave the house for some reason.”
I could see that Fez debated about lying for a second, but after a glance at me, it seemed his morals won out, “Look man I-”
“Don’t worry about it,” I interrupted him as I eased back in my seat as well, “Just…make sure you look out for her, alright…I got my own shit going on, and I can’t be there for her all the time… I actually haven’t even seen her with my own eyes since she got back.”
Fez was silent for a long moment before he went to light his joint and took a puff, “Then I’ll keep my eye on her for you.”
I gave a nod of thanks as Fez passed me the joint, and I took a hit.
Though when I went to hand it back, Fez shook his head, “All you…”
Accepting the unspoken apology, I gave Fez one final nod before standing up and walking away, heading back towards the house.
For a couple of minutes, I stood by the doorway watching the party inside and keeping an eye out for Rue, as I finished off my joint.
I didn’t see her, which meant she was either upstairs or had never planned on coming to the party to begin with.
Tossing my roach on the ground, I stomped it out and moved inside, ready to end my game of Where’s Rue.
I made my way towards the stairs through the crowd of people, but before I could make it to the first set of steps, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
I paused and looked over, only to immediately regret it as I stared directly into a pair of brown eyes full of intensity.
That was the first thought in my mind as I glanced around without taking my attention away from the huntress that had marked me as her assumed prey.
‘There.’
My eyes landed on Nate Jacob at the entrance of the kitchen, his hand firmly squeezing some random girl’s bare ass after pushing up her shorts with his tongue practically down her throat.
Despite the intense make-out session, his eyes were fixed on someone else, someone who was walking up to me with a purpose.
In an instant, I realized what was going on, though I imagined that even the most socially oblivious person would have been able to piece the situation together.
“Hey.”
I turned and found Maddy Perez staring right up at me, her eyes still burning with intensity, “Wanna dance?”
That question froze me in time as I played out how tonight could unfold.
I could say no, walk away, not get involved in what was undoubtedly a messy breakup between two of the most vindictive people in my grade, go upstairs and see if I could find Rue.
Or I could-
‘Fuck it.’
A barely noticeable shiver passed through my body as I embraced my delusion and let mania take me.
If I had to describe the change in perspective, it was like my senses went from 1080p all the way to 8k resolution.
Every color and sound seemed to pop out at me while my thoughts opened their arms to the dark suggestions I usually kept at bay until they were one and the same.
“Let me guess,” I muttered as I leaned down next to Maddy’s ear, “Tall, dark, and moody over there with the blonde trying to suck his face off is an ex?”
“Ugh, you could just say no,” Maddy muttered with a roll of her eyes as she went to turn away, only for my hand to snake out and gently secure her wrist.
“I don’t remember turning you down.
I just wanted to make sure I’m reading the room right.”
“Do you want to dance or not?” Maddy asked, her tone frustrated, but I could see the glimmer of interest in her eyes.
Instead of responding, I stepped past Maddy while dragging her along behind me, no doubt taking her by surprise as we quickly reached the middle of the crowd.
“Um, why the fuck are your hands on me?!” Maddy shouted in protest as I spun her around, facing away from me, and my hands settled on the curve of her hips.
“You want to make him jealous, right?” I asked, already knowing the answer as I started moving with the music while pressing against Maddy.
“Whether I want to or not doesn’t mean-”
“Is he looking?” I interrupted with another question, making Maddy pause as she no doubt glanced over at Nate and found him staring hard.
“Still want me to step back?”
“….Just keep your hands where they are,” Maddy said after another heartbeat and started moving along with me, grinding her ass back on my crotch and making my dark-tinted thoughts sing.