Morning sunlight streamed gently through the newly replaced soft smoky gauze on the windows, warming Su Su’s face.
She awoke nestled in the soft bedding, surrounded by cloudlike brocade that felt smooth as water.
Even the canopy was embroidered with delicate butterflies amid flowers. Since her rebirth, this was the first time she had woken in such comfort.
After getting up and freshening herself, she walked into the outer room and saw that the rosewood round table was already set for breakfast. A bowl of bird’s nest soup with rock sugar steamed invitingly, accompanied by four small dishes: crab roe soup dumplings with paper-thin wrappers, jade-green shumai, rose-flavored puff pastries, a plate of golden silk rolls, a pot of fresh ham and bamboo shoot soup, two plates of pickled vegetables, and a pot of freshly brewed Longjing tea.
Su Su sat down, gazing at the feast. The newly assigned palace maid Chun Tao stood beside her, arranging the dishes. “Your Highness, please enjoy your meal.”
Su Su waved her hand. “You all may leave. Just leave Chunlan and Qiuju to attend to me here.”
“Yes,” the attendants exchanged glances, then bowed politely and withdrew.
She immediately smiled at the two girls. “Come, sit down. Today we’ll have a proper meal.”
Qiuju’s eyes sparkled as she stared at the basket of crab roe dumplings, swallowing hard. Chunlan maintained her composure but couldn’t help smiling.
Qiuju ate one crab roe dumpling and exclaimed with satisfaction, “Your Highness, these crab dumplings are truly fragrant!” Golden crab oil spilled across her tongue.
Su Su sipped the bird’s nest soup, sweet and tender the flavor she had loved most in her past life. Since her rebirth, her meals had mostly been plain porridge or cold rice. At last, she could enjoy a proper feast.
“These jade-green shumai have shrimp and diced bamboo shoots inside so fresh,” Chunlan said, placing one for Su Su and one for Qiuju.
After finishing breakfast and clearing the dishes, Su Su leaned close to Chunlan and spoke softly. “Go find out about the origins of the four new maids and the twelve eunuchs.”
Chunlan nodded, understanding, and quietly left.
After finishing her meal, Su Su reclined in the rocking chair by the window, casually picking up a copy of Records of the Nine Provinces. The pages depicted the gentle waters of Jiangnan, the vast deserts of the northwest, and the striking mountains of the southwest. Her fingers traced the illustrations, and a hint of longing flickered in her eyes.
Near noon, Chunlan returned and saw Su Su comfortably nestled in the chair with the book. She stepped lightly toward her.
“Did you find out everything?” Su Su asked, setting the book aside, her gaze clear and calm.
Chunlan replied quietly, “Yes, Your Highness. Of the four new maids, Chun Tao and Xia He were formerly in the laundry bureau; Qiu Yun served in the embroidery workshop; Dong Xue was recently transferred from another palace. Of the twelve eunuchs, six are newly selected by the Imperial Household, four previously served in other palaces, and two…” She paused. “were assigned from Consort Zhuang’s quarters.”
Su Su’s eyes narrowed slightly, but a knowing smile curved her lips.
“As expected,” she said softly. “From now on, place them in the outer hall to serve. Keep an eye on them. You and Qiu will attend to me directly.”
Chunlan bowed solemnly. “Your servant understands.”
Just then, lunch was served. Compared to breakfast, this meal was even more sumptuous.
First came four appetizers: rosily hued goose breast, steamed duck with rice wine, clear ham and bamboo shoot soup, and a dish of marinated quail.
Then eight main dishes: bird’s nest with shredded chicken, stir-fried chicken with winter bamboo shoots, crab meat with double bamboo shoots, scallion-and-pepper lamb, braised three delicacies, stewed yellow eel, steamed egg custard, and roasted venison.
Four types of desserts followed: steamed chestnut cake with osmanthus sugar, soft pastry rolls with goose fat, lotus root powder cake with osmanthus sugar, and cream-filled puff rolls. Two types of congee were also served: duck meat congee and red date rice porridge.
Just looking at the dishes made one’s mouth water. Su Su invited the two girls to sit and eat. “The roasted venison is cooked perfectly,” she said, tasting a piece; the meat was tender and juicy.
Qiu stared at the rosily glazed goose breast, her eyes wide. “When we were at the manor, madam loved this dish most of all.”
Chunlan served Su Su quietly. “These winter bamboo shoots were delivered fresh this morning very tender.”
Su Su slowly savored each dish. Since her rebirth, this was the first time she had felt genuine fullness and warmth but in her heart, she knew all this favor was nothing more than a fleeting illusion.
After finishing the meal happily, she returned to her rocking chair, picked up Records of the Nine Provinces, and leafed through the pages. The rustle of paper under her fingertips contrasted with the distant look gradually settling in her eyes.
“Chunlan,” she murmured, “do you think the apricot blossoms and spring rains in Jiangnan are really as beautiful as the book says?”
Chunlan, tidying the tea set, looked up and saw her mistress staring out the window, her eyes filled with a longing Chunlan had never seen before.
“I’ve heard that in spring, Jiangnan is full of flowers. I imagine… it must be exceedingly beautiful.”
Su Su lightly traced the words “Jiangnan” with her fingertips, a faint, almost imperceptible melancholy in her voice. “Mother… she was from Jiangnan. She once told me about the black-sleeved boats, the cobblestone streets the air is always damp, sweet… It’s a pity, I was born and raised in the capital and have never seen it with my own eyes.”
She paused slightly, as if…
She seemed to recall something, her voice growing softer, almost a whisper: “That Mu Hanyan… I’ve heard, she’s also from Jiangnan.”
Chunlan, perceptive as always, noticed the faint trace of complex emotion in her mistress’s words. She set down the tea set and gently replied, “Your Highness, indeed. Mother has not been able to return home since she was sent to the capital for marriage. Sometimes I hear her speak of the past, and the expression on her face… bears some resemblance to yours just now.”
Su Su remained silent for a long while.
Yes. Mother had sacrificed her homeland for Father, turning it into a memory she could never return to. And she herself, trapped within these square palace walls, could only dream of even a fraction of that “never-returning” nostalgia.
A fierce longing began to take root in her heart, spreading, growing.
“One day…” she did not finish the sentence, simply returning her gaze to the pages of the book. The little bridges and flowing streams on the painted scroll had never appeared so vivid, so alluring in her eyes.
Her heart raced with the thought: if if that day truly came, if Li Qianche were to banish her to the cold palace, then what the world saw as endless desolation could, for her, be a kind of liberation. At that moment, one fire, a thin coffin, and the report of a “natural death” could earn her freedom as vast as the sky. She could take a small boat, drift with the current, and finally see Jiangnan’s misty rains with her own eyes.
Su Su closed the book gently, a faint, almost imperceptible smile touching her lips.
Yes. One day, she would go see it all with her own eyes every mountain, every river depicted in this book, the sights of the world across the land.
And not be forever trapped within these square palace walls, like a carefully nurtured canary, always fearing the next hunger, the next cold, the next family’s ruin.
Looking out at the hall, the newly arrived maids and eunuchs stood at attention, heads bowed, perfectly obedient. But who could know how many of them were planted eyes of others?
Su Su rocked the chair slightly, her gaze deepening.
For now, she could not leave this deep palace. So she would live well comfortably, freely.
But the vigilance she must maintain, she would never lessen by even a fraction.
She resolved to enjoy what she could while she could. Thinking this, she said, “Chunlan, for tonight’s meal, I want a dish of sweet-and-sour lotus root. But first, bring me a plate of those cream-filled pine-rolled pastries I want to eat them now.”
Now that she had a consort’s rank, she could eat what she wanted. After all, who knew how long days like these would last?
Better to enjoy them while she could.
The sun sank toward the west, stretching her shadow long. The rocking chair swayed gently; the pages of the book fluttered in the evening breeze.
In this fleeting moment, peace felt extraordinarily precious.