Although I have now been demoted, fortunately there is still room for redemption.
My family is safe, and in this life I ask for nothing more than that those around me live smoothly and in good health. That alone would suffice.
As for myself, since I am already under house arrest and of such low rank, even though I know there are many suspicious points surrounding the death of Prince Ning’s youngest son, I am powerless to investigate the real culprit.
I only hope to find a sliver of a chance to survive and escape these layered palace walls, so that this rebirth will not have been in vain. If I ultimately cannot leave this deep palace, then I will be a law-abiding, invisible person, quietly letting the years pass.
If I can endure until His Majesty’s death and obtain the title of Empress Dowager Consort to live out the rest of my days in peace, that would count as a good end.
Seeing me sit in a daze without speaking, Qiuju said softly, “My lady has been unconscious for so long are you hungry? There’s porridge and dishes warming on the stove. Please eat a little, at least.”
Before she finished speaking, Chunlan had already carried in the food tray, delighted. “My lady, you’re finally awake! We’ve been keeping watch all day, our hearts hanging in suspense.”
Looking at these two maids who had accompanied me since childhood, and thinking of how they gave their lives for me in my previous life, to be reunited with them now felt like a lifetime apart. In this life, I must protect them well.
On the tray sat a bowl of thin porridge, so clear one could see the bottom, reflecting the morning light in a pale rice color, and two steamed buns, shriveled and hard. Though I had been demoted to the rank of Daying, the Imperial Household Department, out of consideration for the Empress Dowager, still dared not send spoiled or cold food. Recalling the days in the Cold Palace in my past life, when I dug up tree roots and chewed grass skins, this bowl of thin porridge was already a rarity.
I grabbed a still-warm bun and swallowed it with the porridge in a few big gulps. The wheat fragrance lingered between my teeth, but my thoughts drifted far away Father and elder brother treated me exceedingly well. In my previous life, could it be that they were framed and accused of treason and colluding with the enemy because they tried to save me? There must be something fishy here. For now things seemed calm, but it was inevitable that there were people with ulterior motives within the household. I had to get word to Father as soon as possible, urging them to steady themselves and be cautious in everything.
As for the future incident of Mu Hanyan’s miscarriage, I must stay far away from it. From now on, I wish to be like a spider’s web under the eaves neither stirring wind nor rain, neither touching disputes nor right and wrong. When the time is ripe, I will then plan my escape from the palace.
Seeing that I was willing to eat, Qiuju and Chunlan finally breathed a sigh of relief and said softly, “My lady, eat slowly.”
The most urgent matter now was to gather silver both to grease palms so that palace servants would pass along family letters, and to prepare for leaving the palace in the future. I have no special talents; only my needlework is passable. Exchanging embroidery for silver would be a viable path. In my previous life, when I was a noble consort, I gave away all my rewards to the servants and never saved a single coin. By the time I was demoted to Daying, I could not even scrape together money to send a message truly lamentable.
After eating, I regained some energy and asked Qiuju to fetch thread and needles. Seeing me pick up the needlework, Qiuju couldn’t help asking, “My lady, are you embroidering a sachet for His Majesty? Last time when His Majesty saw the ones you embroidered for your lord father and young master, he even asked for one.”
She secretly thought: if a sachet were sent over, perhaps it could entice His Majesty to come visit.
Yes back then, when Li Qianche saw me embroider sachets for my father and brother, he even asked for one himself. At the time, I thought he was being jealous. Looking back now, it was nothing but my own wishful thinking. Before long, he would return to the palace with Mu Hanyan, and he would naturally have the favored Concubine Wan to sew for him.
I gently stroked the satin and said slowly to the two of them, “These embroidery pieces are not for His Majesty. From now on, I will never do anything to curry favor with him again. These silk handkerchiefs are to be sent to the silk shop to sell. In our current situation, there will be many places where money is needed in the future—we must plan early.”
Qiuju and Chunlan exchanged glances. Though they didn’t understand why my lady had suddenly changed so much, seeing her resolute expression, they asked no more questions. They sat down together. “We’ll help my lady embroider.”
Chunlan’s silver needle flew over the plain silk, her tone firm. “My embroidery isn’t as exquisite as my lady’s, but it’s good enough to sell.”
Qiuju hurriedly threaded her needle as well. “I can do it too.”
Black hair fell down to cover half my face, but it could not hide the light dancing in my eyes. Seeing that my lady was no longer despondent, the two of them worked even more briskly, and before long, twin lotus patterns gradually bloomed on the embroidery frames.
A day passed, and dozens of silk handkerchiefs had piled up on the table. When Su Su slowly stood up, Qiuju looked up and saw that although my lady was dressed in plain white Daying attire, her skin appeared even whiter than snow. Her neck, smooth as congealed jade, lifted slightly as she stretched, her soft, boneless figure beneath the fabric resembling a willow branch newly sprouted in the spring breeze. When she raised her hand to gather her hair, a glimpse of snowy cloud-patterned brocade showed at the collar, rising and falling with her breath like a peony bud about to bloom. Qiuju found herself staring, entranced.
My lady had been stunningly beautiful since childhood, her shifting gaze naturally alluring. No wonder when His Majesty favored her, he could never bear to let go every time he summoned her to serve him in bed, they would linger until dawn before he was willing to stop. The bed would creak and groan all night long, making the maids on night duty outside blush and flush, too embarrassed to make a sound, forced to endure the heat burning in their ears as they listened to every trace of those sensual sounds.
Thinking of this, Qiuju couldn’t help clenching the handkerchief in her hand, her nails digging deeply into her palm. She thought bitterly: what exactly is His Majesty’s intention? My lady’s wholehearted devotion was met with such betrayal it truly chills the heart. That day when my lady lay unconscious, His Majesty never once came to visit…
Qiuju’s simmering resentment was something Su Su knew nothing about. At this moment, the only thing on her mind was how to escape from this deep-palace cage. After pondering for a moment, she suddenly gave an order: “Qiuju, prepare paper, ink, brush, and inkstone. I want to copy Buddhist scriptures.”
Su Su recalled that at this time in her previous life, the southwestern state repeatedly provoked border incursions, and the emperor had already begun preparing a campaign in secret, leaving him no time to attend to the inner palace. In a few more months, the great.
General Pei Xuan would soon lead the troops into battle and win a resounding victory. By the time of the Empress Dowager’s birthday, the triumphant return of the soldiers would coincide with the celebrations, and the palace would surely grant a general amnesty, releasing elderly palace maids from service. At that time, she could seize the opportunity to petition the Empress Dowager under the pretext of going to Puguang Temple to pray for the nation’s fortune and to offer blessings for the Empress Dowager’s health to leave the palace. As the years passed and both the emperor and the Empress Dowager gradually forgot about her, the world would open wide before her, and she would be free to live as she pleased…
Inside the Imperial Study, the emperor was bent over his desk reviewing memorials. Shen Gaoyi, the chief eunuch of the inner court, stood respectfully to the side with his head lowered, his expression cautious, as though walking on thin ice. Ever since Consort Su now to be called Attendant Su had been demoted, the emperor’s mood had grown increasingly dark and unpredictable. Not only did the palace attendants tread carefully, holding their breath at every step, but even the court officials sensed the emperor’s displeasure and conducted themselves with extra care.
Others might not be able to see it, but Shen Gaoyi, who had served the emperor since childhood, understood a little. Though the emperor appeared cold and impartial to everyone, he was different when it came to Attendant Su. Because she was the Empress Dowager’s niece, the emperor sometimes kept his distance, yet since ascending the throne, she was the only one in the harem he had ever summoned to serve him in bed. Each time, water was called repeatedly through the night, and only at dawn did it end such favor spoke for itself. In the emperor’s heart, Attendant Su ultimately occupied a special place.
“Your Majesty, please rest for a moment and have some tea,” Shen Gaoyi urged softly. Since Attendant Su’s demotion, the emperor had been investigating the incident day and night while also planning the campaign against the southwestern state. He had hardly slept properly, let alone set foot in the harem. In the past, Attendant Su often came to the Imperial Study. Though she could be willful and even make a scene once smashing cups to vie for favor she brought a lively air to these deep palace halls. Now there was only desolation, and the emperor had ordered that no consort was to come and disturb him.
“What has she been doing lately?” the emperor suddenly asked, his voice low and unreadable.
Shen Gaoyi’s heart skipped a beat. Without asking further, he knew who “she” referred to.
“Your ah Attendant Su has been keeping her doors closed and copying Buddhist scriptures recently. Presumably she is calming her mind and reflecting on her faults,” he replied with a bow, choosing his words carefully. She was no longer a Noble Consort; one slip of the tongue would be a mistake.
The emperor’s hand holding the brush froze. A drop of thick ink fell onto the memorial, spreading into a dark blot. He frowned, pressing his fingers to his temple as a splitting pain rose copying scriptures? Since when had she become so well-behaved? Every time she had been confined before, hadn’t she always found ways to send messages or gifts, stirring trouble until he softened?
Seeing the emperor fall silent, Shen Gaoyi dared not speak further, but he thought to himself: this time, Attendant Su truly is unusual. During this confinement, she has sent no messages, made no appeals, not even delivered a bowl of soup she has actually been quietly copying Buddhist scriptures… Could it be that after this incident she has finally learned her lesson, realizing the gravity of the matter and knowing to restrain herself?
Li Qianche had ordered her placed under house arrest for a month, commanding her to reflect behind closed doors. Since entering the palace, she had indeed been somewhat spoiled and headstrong, which led to today’s calamity. Though he had already dispatched secret guards to investigate in secret, there had been no word yet. More urgent still was the war on the frontier. Pei Xuan was about to set out on campaign, and he had already promised the other party that he would bring Mu Hanyan into the palace to care for her, to set his mind at ease. This concerned the stability of the border and could not allow Pei Xuan any distraction. In a few days, he would personally arrange the matter under the pretext of an imperial tour. Seen this way, keeping her confined in the palace was actually the best course locking her away would spare further trouble.
Su Su had already embroidered a stack of handkerchiefs, waiting only for Qiuju to find a reliable eunuch who could sell them during an outing for palace purchases, exchanging them for silver to prepare for emergencies.
That day, as she calmly copied Buddhist scriptures, Chunlan entered the hall lightly and reported in a low voice, “My lady, I’ve found a purchasing eunuch named Xiao Anzi and entrusted the handkerchiefs to him to handle. He remembers the kindness you showed him in the past and promised to take care of it properly.”
Xiao Anzi? Su Su’s brush paused slightly as she recalled an incident from when she had first entered the palace. Back then, Xiao Anzi had accidentally soiled a gown bestowed by the emperor upon Consort Zhuang and was dragged away to be flogged. By the time she passed by, he was already barely breathing; another beating would likely have cost him his life. She immediately spoke up to stop it. The executing eunuchs all knew she had the Empress Dowager’s backing and dared not disobey, so they returned to report instead. From that day on, Zhuang Shuning looked at her with eyes like knives, and the two became sworn enemies, their open and secret struggles never ceasing.
After recovering, Xiao Anzi received Su Su’s help in being reassigned to the Imperial Kitchen. He proved capable and gradually worked his way into a purchasing position. In her previous life, when she fell into the Cold Palace, he had risked himself to bring her food someone who knew how to repay kindness. Entrusting him with this matter now put her at ease.
The days of confinement passed quietly, more than a month slipping by. This month had yielded some gains, and even their meals had improved slightly. Today, she specifically asked Xiao Anzi to quietly prepare all the ingredients from the Imperial Kitchen, planning to make dumplings as a small celebration.
Qiuju laid out the ingredients on the table. Seeing her mistress’s relaxed brows and eyes, her own heart felt lighter as well. Since entering the palace, her mistress had been consumed by gains and losses over the emperor, trapped day after day in jealousy and rivalry. When had she ever been this relaxed and composed? Now, though confined, the smile in her eyes grew a little more each day.
Master and servant were wrapping dumplings around the table, chatting and laughing, when Chunlan suddenly rushed in from outside, flustered and pale, her voice urgent: “My lady, something terrible has happened! The emperor has returned from his tour… and he brought back a woman with him an edict has already been issued, granting her the title of Consort Wan!”