A bleak autumn wind chilled the air, as withered plants shed their leaves and dew turned to frost.
In late autumn, even the afterglow of the setting sun seemed to carry a chill. It cast a dim light upon the Qingdai Tiles, creating an atmosphere so stifling it felt hard to breathe.
In an instant, a curtain of rain fell.
Jinshu hurried in from the courtyard. Stepping onto the covered veranda, she wiped the dampness from the soles of her shoes on the doormat before lifting the curtain and entering the room. She kept glancing at the sky outside.
“Madam, it’s started raining, and the Master has yet to return. Don’t you think we should send someone to the Yamen with an umbrella for him?”
The downpour had come on too fiercely. If he got caught in it without an umbrella and was soaked by the autumn chill, he would likely fall gravely ill.
The madam she spoke of was sitting by the window, her black hair held up by a jade hairpin, with a few stray strands of silk falling loose. She was turned to the side, revealing only half of her fair face. Her slightly furrowed, dark brows were hidden in shadow. Upon seeing the woman’s impassive expression, Jinshu abruptly swallowed her words.
Outsiders all said that her master and madam were a harmonious couple, as loving as could be, but only those within the residence knew the truth.
Yet, it wasn’t that they were unloving.
The Master and Madam had been married for over twelve years, and he had never taken a concubine. Even when the Old Madam was on her deathbed and threatened him with her own life, the Master did not compromise. To this day, he kept other women at a distance.
The Madam managed the household finances and was never restricted. Even though she had not borne a single son or daughter, he showed no intention of divorcing her to remarry.
Who in the capital didn’t think the Madam had married well?
Jinshu, too, felt bewildered. She only knew that the once deeply affectionate couple had gradually grown silent with each other. When they sat in the same room, they had nothing to talk about. A heavy, dead silence would spread between them, so suffocating it could make one gasp for air.
She had tried to find the source of the problem but had never succeeded.
The person by the window seemed to hear her words a beat too late.
“It’s raining?”
She looked up and outside, revealing a pair of beautiful eyes. The years had added a certain luster to her, and the fine lines of her dark brows had settled into faint traces. She subconsciously started to rise, only to stop herself the moment she moved. For an instant, the room was silent. The woman lowered her gaze, her tone a mix of self-mockery and some other unidentifiable emotion.
“…It’s not as if he needs me to send someone with an umbrella.”
Jinshu immediately fell silent.
She knew why her madam had said this. In early spring, there had been a day with a downpour just like today. The Madam, burning with anxiety, had personally gone to the Yamen to bring the Master home. But all her worry was met with was a single question: “What are you doing here?”
He stood high on the steps, his gaze calm as he looked over.
“This is the Yamen, an important government office. You should not have come.”
His voice was neither high nor low, and held no real aversion, yet it was enough to extinguish all her enthusiasm.
The Madam had frozen for a moment, then immediately fell silent, her hand tightening and retightening on the umbrella handle. She said, “It’s raining. I came to bring you an umbrella.”
He had looked up at the dark, oppressive curtain of rain, frowning.
“The Yamen has umbrellas. Even if it didn’t, I would have sent someone to buy one.”
The sheet of rain fell between them, as if separating them with an insurmountable chasm. The bitter scent of grass and trees filled the air, making it almost impossible to breathe.
The woman had stared at him for a long time. She seemed to have something to say, but in the end, she swallowed her emotions bit by bit, and her words came out limp and powerless. “It was presumptuous of me.”
Recalling this past event, Jinshu dared not mention sending the Master an umbrella again.
Outside, a storm raged. The windows along the veranda rattled under the force of the wind. Feng Wenyu sat for only a moment longer. Her sleeve had become tinged with a sticky dampness. She looked down at the soaked patch of fabric, her eyes dim and numb. Though she clearly felt the chill of the wind and rain, she paid it no mind.
Yamen.
Since the new emperor’s ascension, Gu Yushi had increasingly gained his favor. He had recently taken on a difficult case and had already spent several days at the Dali Temple.
When the sound of rain first started outside, Gu Yushi looked up from the middle of a discussion.
Seeing this, someone glanced at the sky outside and said with a self-deprecating laugh, “Is Lord Gu in a hurry to return home?”
Though he said this, the speaker didn’t actually think Gu Yushi would agree. After all, Gu Yushi had always been a man who put official duties above all else. He was never seen arriving late or leaving early. It was because of his excessive strictness that those who worked with him were always on edge.
Who would have thought that as soon as the words left his mouth, Gu Yushi would reply, “Yes.”
Everyone paused, finding it somewhat hard to believe. After exchanging glances and seeing that it was getting late, they all tactfully took their leave.
After they departed, the room returned to silence. Gu Yushi neatly arranged the case files one by one before rising and leaving the room. Outside, Mu Fan was waiting with a worried look on his face. He was a little surprised to see him. Why was the Master leaving so early today? He quickly scurried over.
“Master, you’re out.”
He wiped the raindrops from his forehead and said with a sheepish smile, “This rain is coming down something fierce. Why don’t you go back inside and wait, Master? I’ve already sent someone back to the residence to fetch an umbrella.”
Gu Yushi’s gaze flickered. He turned to look outside for a moment, then asked, “When did it start raining?”
Mu Fan was baffled, not understanding why his master would ask such a question, but he answered honestly, “It’s been raining for half an hour already.”
Mu Fan felt the Master glance outside again. Puzzled, he followed his master’s line of sight, only to see the empty road. The direction, however, was toward their residence.
He couldn’t help but wonder, was the Master anxious to get home?
But he had just sent someone back for an umbrella; it would probably be a while before he returned.
With this in mind, Mu Fan couldn’t help but suggest again, “Master, would you like to wait inside the Yamen?”
Gu Yushi didn’t look at him, coldly refusing.
“No need.”
Mu Fan had no choice but to shut his mouth.
Perhaps the roads were difficult to travel on a rainy day. Mu Fan felt that the journey, which usually took a quarter of an hour round trip, was being dragged out for a very long time. When the servant finally returned with the umbrella, Mu Fan couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief.
He glanced at his master from the corner of his eye and saw him seem to pause for a moment upon seeing the person who had arrived. He quickly returned to his usual self, but the expression in his eyes was much colder than usual.
Mu Fan belatedly realized something.
He remembered the last time it had suddenly rained. The Madam had rushed over to bring the Master home, but worried about disturbing his work, she had insisted on waiting outside for a long time. By the time the Master found out, she had already been waiting for more than half an hour.
Connecting that to how the Master had left work so early today and had waited outside in the cold wind for so long, he thought he might have guessed something.
Mu Fan rubbed his nose and said, “Master, you previously told Madam not to come pick you up anymore. Madam must have taken your words to heart.”
Gu Yushi turned his head, a sarcastic curve to his lips. “When has she ever listened to me?”
The short, harsh words made Mu Fan clamp his mouth shut.
Gu Residence.
As soon as Gu Yushi returned, Feng Wenyu received the news. She finally rose from the window, rubbing her slightly aching temples, and instructed Jinshu, “Have the meal served.”
Jinshu answered with a crisp “yes.” After leaving the main courtyard, she sent someone to the front courtyard to call the Master for dinner.
Feng Wenyu sat at her dressing table, re-combing the hair that had been mussed by the wind. She changed into a proper and comfortable set of clothes before walking to the round table in the outer room and sitting down.
About a quarter of an hour later, Jinshu returned with the food trays, her expression somewhat dejected.
Feng Wenyu’s eyes trembled slightly. She already had an answer in her heart, but she still asked aloud, “Where is the Master?”
Jinshu stammered, “The Master said… he will be dining in the front courtyard today and told Madam not to wait for him.”
Feng Wenyu’s grip on her wooden chopsticks tightened. Her eyelids drooped, and her voice sounded deceptively calm.
“I see.”
In that moment, the splendid array of dishes on the table lost all their flavor.
Feng Wenyu took only a couple of simple bites before having the food cleared away. Jinshu didn’t dare to persuade her otherwise. Knowing that her madam had been exposed to the cold wind today, she specially had someone heat up water for a bath.
When the night grew deep, Gu Yushi finally appeared in the main courtyard. He looked up and saw only darkness.
She had already gone to bed.
She had left only a single, dim lamp for him.
At the door, Jinshu curtsied silently and pushed the door open as gently as possible. A quick glance revealed that the Master was not wearing the same clothes as in the morning, so she knew he had bathed after returning. She didn’t ask if he needed to wash up. Just before the Master stepped into the room, she couldn’t stop herself from saying, “Madam waited for you for a long time today.”
Gu Yushi turned his head to glance at her. His gaze was so tangible that Jinshu subconsciously held her breath.
The next moment, the door clicked softly as Gu Yushi stepped inside. Only then did Jinshu clutch her chest and slowly let out a breath.
Inside the room, in the inner chamber.
The lamp had been left on the desk, not far from the bed. Thus, Gu Yushi immediately saw the woman on the bed. She had her back to him; he couldn’t tell if she was truly asleep.
Ultimately, whether she was truly asleep or just pretending didn’t matter.
He removed his outer robes, leaving only his inner clothes, and walked to the desk. He trimmed the flickering wick, and the room finally plunged into complete darkness.
Gu Yushi had excellent eyesight. By the faint moonlight from outside, he saw the figure on the bed relax slightly.
Gu Yushi lay down calmly. Though they shared the same bed, it was as if a great river divided them, leaving an empty space in the middle.
Feng Wenyu’s eyelids trembled. Facing the wall, she opened her eyes. She could feel the chill from behind her.
He and she were so close, yet so far apart.
Husband and wife.
Feng Wenyu repeated these two words in her heart. In the darkness, she couldn’t resist silently turning her head, her gaze falling on his face. He was busy with political affairs and often away from the residence. Even the simplest conversation between them had become a difficult task.
But Feng Wenyu knew that wasn’t it.
No matter how busy he was, it shouldn’t be impossible to spare this little bit of time.
When the new emperor ascended the throne and everything was in disarray, he had been so busy he was run off his feet, yet he had still managed to make time to dine with her every day.
It was just that he was no longer willing.
He was busy with politics, while she was mired in love and affection, always letting it weigh on her heart. Even those around her advised her to be content.
Was she being greedy?
But in the beginning, among her many choices, she had married him only because they were in love.
She had married him for love, yet now everyone was telling her to be content with power and status.
Feng Wenyu thought silently, perhaps she ought to be content.
Even if this wasn’t what she wanted.