The dining table fell into a strange silence.
Lin Mo was still eating quietly.
Lu Xie was still trying to convince herself that she had never tortured Lin Mo.
Lu Mu and Li Qing were still staring at Lin Mo with complicated expressions and pity.
The kind of pity one would feel when looking at a terminally ill stray dog standing in the rain.
Lin Mo himself remained completely unaware.
Meanwhile, the source of all chaos, Lu Shu, continued chewing on a chicken drumstick while thinking.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: Damn…
after observing more carefully, something is wrong.
Very wrong.
This guy is surrounded by negative love energy.
Not resentment.
Not hatred.
Not jealousy.
Not murder intent.
Love.
Negative love.
What kind of cursed thing is that?
The chicken in Lu Mu’s hand stopped halfway to his mouth.
Li Qing blinked.
Lu Xie nearly dropped her chopsticks.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: Love itself is already one of the strongest curses in existence.
Gojo sensei himself once said it.
But negative love?
This is ridiculous.
I thought love had no negative or positive trait.
Even during the golden age of jujutsu, I never heard of such a thing.
Thousands of years of sorcerer history.
Millions of curses.
Countless records.
Yet nobody recorded something like this.
And this fool somehow managed it.
Li Qing looked at Lin Mo.
Her expression gradually became strange.
Li Qing’s thoughts: Negative love?
How can love even become negative?
What kind of twisted relationship creates something like that?
Did my daughter break him mentally?
Lu Mu’s thoughts: Forget negative love.
How did this fool survive this long?
Kidney cancer.
Lung cancer.
Stomach cancer.
Broken ribs.
Damaged spine.
This is not a human body.
This is a medical miracle.
Lu Xie felt wronged.
Extremely wronged.
Lu Xie’s thoughts: I didn’t do anything!
Why does everyone keep looking at me?!
I didn’t even know he had cancer!
I didn’t know about the kidney either!
Or the spine!
Or the blood loss!
Or the lungs!
Or literally anything!
Meanwhile Lu Shu was still thinking.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: But why does this situation feel familiar?
Very familiar.
Like I’ve seen it many times before.
Not once.
Not twice.
At least dozens of times.
Maybe hundreds.
The Lu Family immediately focused.
Experience had taught them something.
Whenever Lu Shu said a situation felt familiar…
Something ridiculous was usually about to come out.
A few seconds later.
Lu Shu’s eyes widened.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: AH!
I remember now!
The family subconsciously straightened their backs.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: This is one of those female-oriented brain damaged novels!
The legendary “Chasing Husband To Crematorium” plot!
Lu Mu nearly choked on his chicken.
Lu Xie nearly choked on water.
Li Qing almost bit her tongue.
Lu Mu’s thoughts: What kind of title is that?!
Why does the title already sound like a disaster?
Li Qing’s thoughts: Why would anyone chase their husband to a crematorium?
Wouldn’t it be too late at that point?
Lu Xie’s thoughts: I don’t like where this is going.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: No no no…
Not just brain damaged.
These novels are lawless.
Policeless.
Brainless.
Logicless.
Common-senseless.
Camera-less.
Security-guard-less.
And most importantly…
Everyone inside has the IQ of a boiled potato.
The Lu family fell silent.
That description sounded very accurate despite them not knowing what novel he was talking about.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: Usually the male lead loves the female lead so much that he becomes a professional bootlicker.
Not ordinary bootlicking.
Legendary bootlicking.
Mythological bootlicking.
The kind that would make loyal dogs feel ashamed.
The type of bootlicking that makes viewers question evolution.
Li Qing’s face twitched.
Lu Mu’s face twitched.
Even Lin Mo somehow felt someone insulting him.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: Normally the male lead is a contracted husband who can’t touch female lead.
The male lead is such a bootlicker that to help female lead he cooks, cleans, washes clothes, massages, waits outside in the rain.
He donates blood, donates kidneys.
Sometimes he even donates half his lifespan.
Yet the female lead still says, “Why are you controlling me?”
The entire Lu Family unconsciously looked toward Lin Mo.
Then toward his missing kidney.
Then back toward Lin Mo.
Silence.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: Meanwhile the female lead usually has one of five options.
Whom she pours her love into.
Option one: white moonlight who came from abroad.
Option two: childhood friend who are inseparable even in toilet.
Option three: assistant who knows where female lead’s undergarments are.
Option four: male best friend who has learned nothing but gets all the credits of male lead’s hard work.
Option five: non-blood-related brother who stays with female lead after her marriage with her.
He is also the white lotus who is always sick and needs male lead’s blood to survive.
The famous “brother” that everyone understands isn’t actually a brother.
Sometimes she collects all five like Pokémon.
Li Qing’s face darkened.
Lu Mu’s face darkened.
Lu Mu’s thoughts: What kind of nonsense is this?
Li Qing’s thoughts: Surely nobody behaves like that in real life.
Lu Xie’s thoughts: …
Lu Xie suddenly felt nervous.
Very nervous.
Then Lu Shu continued mercilessly.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: Then one day…
A medical report appears.
Boom.
Cancer.
Three months left to live.
Audience cries.
Male lead cries.
Female lead continues being blind.
Li Qing’s thoughts: …
Lu Mu’s thoughts: …
Why did this sound increasingly familiar?
Lu Shu’s thoughts: Then male lead wants a divorce from female lead and live those last days as he wants.
Female lead refuses.
Not because she loves him.
Because divorce affects company shares.
Or reputation.
Or public image.
Or because the author needed another hundred chapters.
Even Lu Xie felt attacked.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: Male lead tricks female lead into singing divorce paper.
But female lead doesn’t get suspicious so he stays ther for a month more.
In the mean time male lead is bullied by 3rd person and female lead to the point that hospital becomes his second home.
Eventually they divorce.
Then female lead suddenly discovers she loved him all along.
Then she cries.
Then she regrets.
Then she kneels.
Then she goes crazy.
Then she learns male lead is dying.
Then she spends hundreds of chapters chasing him.
Then he dies anyway.
But before his death, male lead tells female lead that he still loves her.
Lu Mu felt a chill.
Li Qing felt a chill.
Lu Xie felt a chill.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: Then the female lead carries his ashes.
Sleeps with his black and white photo.
Talks to his grave at night.
Punishes everybody who abused male lead.
Destroys their and her own companies.
Destroys families.
Destroys herself.
She also locks up the homewrecker and abuses him.
And in a faithful night the homewrecker stabs female lead.
Female lead also stabs him.
All three dead.
Happy ending.
And somehow the author calls that a happy ending.
The room became quiet.
Very quiet.
Lu Mu’s thoughts: Who writes these things?
Who reads these things?
Who enjoys these things?
Li Qing’s thoughts: This is not a love story.
This is a public disaster.
Lu Xie’s thoughts: Brother, your previous life had terrible entertainment.
Then suddenly both Lu Mu and Li Qing remembered something.
Ji Boda.
That annoying young man from years ago.
The one who constantly followed Lu Xie around.
The one they eventually arranged to be sent abroad.
The more they remembered…
The darker their expressions became
Then Lu Shu began comparing.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: Let’s see.
Rich family?
Check.
CEO?
Check.
Parents dislike husband?
Check.
Husband obviously loves wife?
Check.
Wife doesn’t seem to love husband?
Check.
Cancer?
Check.
Three months to live?
Check.
Torture injuries?
Check.
Every “check” made Lu Xie’s face paler.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: Damn.
This thing is matching a little too perfectly.
Li Qing slowly looked at Lu Xie.
Li Qing’s thoughts: Did I really raise such a daughter?
I’m a failure as a mother.
Lu Mu slowly looked at Lu Xie.
Lu Mu’s thoughts: Please tell me my genes aren’t responsible for this.
Lu Xie wanted to cry.
Lu Xie’s thoughts: I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!
And right at that moment—
A ringtone sounded.
Everyone looked toward the phone.
It was Lu Xie’s phone.
Which happened to be beside Lu Shu.
The caller ID appeared.
Ji Boda
The moment Lu Shu saw the name—
His eyes widened.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: HOLY SHIT.
THE LEGENDARY THIRD PARTY LORD JI BODA!
IT EXISTS!
IT ACTUALLY EXISTS!
THE NOVEL PLOT IS REAL!
MY SISTER REALLY IS A SIDE VILLAIN IN A CHASING-HUSBAND STORY!
Lu Mu’s expression froze.
Li Qing’s expression froze.
Lu Xie’s expression froze.
Lu Shu’s thoughts: Ji Boda.
The classic novel name.
The chosen one.
The male best friend.
The white moonlight.
The childhood sweetheart.
The homewrecker.
The universal plug-in of every crematorium novel.
HE EXISTS!
Li Qing’s killing intent nearly materialized.
Lu Mu’s forehead veins bulged.
Lu Xie felt her soul leave her body.
Before she could grab the phone—
Lu Mu calmly said,
“Shu’er.”
“Put it on speaker.”
That single sentence carried the weight of a mountain.
Lu Shu immediately obeyed.
The call connected.
A cheerful male voice came through.
“Xie’er, my love!”
Silence.
“I’ve returned to the country.”
Silence.
“I prepared a surprise for your 26th birthday.”
“Come to XXX Hotel tonight.”
“We’ll have a candlelight dinner.”
The atmosphere became increasingly terrifying.
Then the final strike arrived.
“Oh right.”
“Don’t bring Lin Mo.”
“See you tonight.”
Click.
The call ended.
Silence.
Absolute silence.
Even the air stopped moving.
Lu Shu slowly looked at Lu Xie.
Lu Mu slowly looked at Lu Xie.
Li Qing slowly looked at Lu Xie.
Even Lin Mo looked at Lu Xie.
At that moment, Lu Xie felt what it meant to be surrounded on all sides.
And for the first time since the meal began—
Nobody was thinking.
Because everyone’s brain had crashed.
Chapter End