After that incident, she picked up her books again.
At the time, she didn’t think too much about it. She just wanted to add some secret solace to her pale existence. Having something to do would keep her from constantly recalling those words and feeling heartbroken.
Who would have thought that these private comforts would become her salvation today.
She needed to do well on tomorrow’s exam.
She wanted to leave this place, far away, the farther the better.
Thinking about this still made her heart ache terribly…
She couldn’t even tell whether the pain was because of him, or because of her five wasted years.
But it didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was that she couldn’t allow herself to drown in this pain any longer.
Even if the pain would take a long time to fade, she had to actively save herself.
She ordered takeout—a light dinner and disposable clothes.
She called the front desk to request a wake-up call for the next morning.
Then she forced herself to sleep.
Perhaps because she hadn’t slept at all the previous night, she actually slept quite well that evening.
The next day, she woke up on time and turned on her phone.
Countless messages flooded in, making her phone vibrate incessantly—all from one person: Wen Tingyan.
She didn’t read any of them, afraid they would affect her exam performance.
After having some breakfast at the hotel, with everything prepared, she left for the test center.
The hotel was close to the IELTS test center—just a five-minute walk.
Right after stepping out of the hotel, her phone vibrated in her hand.
Wen Tingyan was calling.
Startled, she nearly dropped her phone, quickly swiped to decline the call, and turned it off again.
When she emerged from the test center, her heart was still racing.
With joy.
It seemed she had done well on the exam.
The speaking examiner had been smiling throughout their conversation, she could mostly understand the listening section, and she completed the reading and writing sections smoothly.
She didn’t dare estimate her score, but at least she had completed everything!
She wasn’t completely useless!
Walking alone on the sidewalk, she lowered her head and mentally reviewed every small detail of that day’s exam, until a pair of leather shoes appeared before her. Not expecting anyone to deliberately block the path, she couldn’t stop in time and bumped directly into the person.
If he hadn’t caught her, she would have fallen.
And this person was the last one she wanted to see.
Wen Tingyan.
“Jian Zhi!”
She could tell he was angry, but he was making a visible effort to suppress his rage.
“Jian Zhi, why didn’t you come home?” He held her shoulders, softening his voice as he asked, gentle and tender as usual.
Jian Zhi thought to herself, don’t you know why I didn’t come back?
But she had no time to argue with him about this now. Her bag had fallen to the ground during the collision, the flap had opened, and her IELTS pen was partially visible.
She didn’t want him to know she had taken the IELTS exam!
She shook off his hand forcefully, crouched down, quickly stuffed the pen back into her bag, and fastened it securely.
“What’s that?” he asked, looking down at her bag.
“Nothing, just a pen,” she pretended to be calm, her fingers clutching the bag so tightly they turned white.
“Give it to me,” he said.
No, she couldn’t let him see the pen.
She hugged her bag even tighter. “What do you need a pen for?”
“Give me your phone,” he said.
After a moment’s hesitation, she took her phone out of the bag and handed it to him.
The phone was turned off.
He only glanced at it before handing the phone back to her. “I called you so many times and sent so many messages—why didn’t you reply? Are you still angry?”
Holding her phone, she thought to herself: At least I can breathe a sigh of relief. I was afraid he might check my phone and stumble upon my email, what if he saw the IELTS test confirmation…
If that were the only issue…
She pondered for a moment and realized she didn’t want to be angry anymore.
She just wanted to leave everything behind and start anew.
This thought grew even stronger the moment she saw him again.
Seeing her silence, he assumed she was still upset and sighed. “Jian Zhi, aren’t you usually so understanding? Why are you refusing to come home over something like this?”
Jian Zhi swore she genuinely didn’t want to be angry about these things anymore, but Wen Tingyan’s words—even a saint would struggle not to feel provoked.
“So, yesterday’s incident was still my fault? I was being unreasonable? I should’ve walked in and praised Awen, saying, ‘You’re doing so well, you’re so good at imitating’?” She couldn’t hold back any longer.
Wen Tingyan’s expression stiffened slightly. “That’s not what I meant. I meant that you can’t control what others say, so there’s no need to take their words to heart—”
“I can’t control it, but you can!” She stared at him. “But what were you doing at that moment? You and your Cheng Cheng were laughing and hugging each other.”
“Jian Zhi!” His face darkened, a rare flash of anger surfacing.
Jian Zhi understood.
The name “Cheng Cheng” was his sore spot, a minefield not to be touched.
What more was there to say?
Holding her bag, she stepped past him and walked ahead.
But he reached out and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her back.
“I’m sorry, Jian Zhi. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have raised my voice,” he said softly. “I just don’t want you to misunderstand Cheng Cheng. We’re just ordinary friends, like everyone else. I see her as one of the guys. She’s not married yet, and your words could harm her reputation.”
Jian Zhi didn’t understand—weren’t they the ones who acted that way? Luo Yucheng leaned against him without restraint, yet they were afraid of being called out?
But she only replied indifferently, “Oh.”
“Jian Zhi…” He sensed her coldness. “Why are you still angry? You ran off to a hotel by yourself and refused to come home. I haven’t said anything about it, yet you’re still holding a grudge?”
Right, it was all her fault.
“Jian Zhi, don’t be angry anymore. Let’s go have lunch, and then I’ll take you shopping, alright?”
Jian Zhi thought for a moment and agreed. She had something to say to him.
Wen Tingyan led her to a nearby restaurant.
As they entered, faced with the server’s gaze, out of habit, Jian Zhi instinctively wanted to lower her head, pull up her collar, and hide behind Wen Tingyan, moving slowly to make her limp less noticeable.
But then, she let it go.
If she wasn’t good enough for him, so be it. After all, she no longer intended to be with him.
They took their seats.
Wen Tingyan ordered the dishes.
When the food arrived, he handed her the chopsticks, his voice still gentle. “Jian Zhi, eat up. These are all your favorite dishes.”
Jian Zhi glanced at the spread—every dish was spicy.
She smiled bitterly to herself.
He didn’t know she couldn’t handle spicy food. The reason every dinner at home included spicy dishes was that he loved them.
“Wen Tingyan, I’m not hungry,” she said, not touching the chopsticks. “I have something to tell you.”
“What?” The corners of his lips lifted slightly. “I’ll go anywhere with you. I’m free all day today—I’ll take you out this afternoon, and we’ll have dinner at my parents’ place tonight.”
She gazed at his faint, almost imperceptible smile, thinking of what she was about to say next, as a wave of intense sorrow welled up inside her.