It was half past twelve.
The dining table was laden with a feast, but everything had long since gone cold. Under the warm yellow light, He Zhi finally succumbed to his fatigue and dozed off, resting his head on the table.
“Buzz—”
The sharp, piercing ringtone of his phone jolted He Zhi awake. He instinctively blurted out, “Chen Ge, you’re back?”
Realizing his mistake, he froze, noticing the cold, lonely light illuminating the now-cold dishes. No one answered him.
He Zhi had been married to the renowned screenwriter Chen Yuebai for six months. During this time, Chen Yuebai mostly lived alone outside. He had called yesterday to say he would be coming home, so He Zhi had spent the day preparing dinner, only to find that Chen Yuebai hadn’t returned.
He Zhi covered his face, shaking his head with a self-deprecating smile. He had climbed into Chen Yuebai’s bed, and Chen Yuebai had wanted someone to serve as a buffer against the men and women constantly approaching him, which was why they got married. What was he expecting?
The phone continued to vibrate, the screen displaying the name “Moon.” He Zhi took a deep breath and answered the call.
“Hello.” A cold, emotionless voice came through the line, mixed with a chaotic background noise.
“Chen Ge, I’m here.” He Zhi’s voice was warm and clear, slightly hoarse from just waking up.
“I’m not coming back tonight,” Chen Yuebai said.
This was something He Zhi had anticipated. He let out a self-deprecating laugh, his voice still warm and compliant, “Okay.” Just as he was about to overstep and add, ‘Chen Ge, don’t stay out too late, it’s not good for your health,’ Chen Yuebai’s voice came through again, “He Zhi, don’t forget to help Lian Lian with the dubbing tomorrow.”
He Zhi froze, a sharp pain pricking his heart, but he still managed to respond, “Sure. I’ll be there on time.”
“Also,” Chen Yuebai paused, as if hesitating about something, but ultimately continued, “Can you help me deliver some sample items to ‘Back to the Past’?”
‘Back to the Past’ was a bar where Chen Yuebai loved to gather with his friends.
He Zhi was taken aback and instinctively replied, “Of course!” After saying that, he paused, even he felt he was being a bit pathetic.
Chen Yuebai fell silent for two or three seconds, his tone softening slightly, “There’s an old computer in the study with my old drafts. Please bring it to me now; I need it urgently.” He could have sent it online without bothering the young man to run out at this hour, but his folder was password-protected, and he and this young man weren’t close enough to exchange passwords.
He Zhi simply replied, “Okay.”
“Then that’s it. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye, Chen Ge.”
……
After hanging up, He Zhi let himself fall onto the cold sofa. He felt utterly drained, his heart didn’t hurt but felt numb. The study was so close, yet he had no strength to walk over.
Chen Yuebai truly wielded a heart-wrenching knife; he was an unsolvable poison.
A few minutes later, he stood up, walked into the study, grabbed the laptop, carefully packed it in a bag, and casually threw on a coat before heading out.
The late autumn night was quite chilly. He Zhi felt the cold wind seep through his clothes, slicing into his flesh, both numbing and painful, but he couldn’t be bothered to go back and get a warmer coat.
He entered the garage, started the car, and drove onto the road.
Chen Yuebai’s villa was located in the suburbs, while ‘Back to the Past’ was in the city center, taking at least two hours to reach.
As He Zhi drove, his eyes filled with the cold, lonely glow of neon lights, his already pale face appearing even more ghostly under the illumination.
The city center was filled with skyscrapers, and even at night, the lights were everywhere. On the highest building, an electronic screen displayed a colorful advertisement: it was for a luxury watch, featuring a man whose face could almost be described as beautiful, with youthful eyes that held a childlike innocence, evoking a strong protective instinct.
At a red light, He Zhi found himself staring at the screen in a daze. The man in the advertisement was Bai Lian, a hot young star with both popularity and acting skills, adored by countless fans. He was the only son of the Bai Family, and it was said that due to his frail health as a child, his family named him Bai Lian—hoping for divine favor. His fans affectionately called him “Lian Lian.”
“Lian Lian” was also what Chen Yuebai called him.
He and Chen Yuebai had grown up together; Chen Yuebai was his most cherished brother. In He Zhi’s heart, Chen Yuebai was the moon, and Bai Lian was likely Chen Yuebai’s moon.
He and Bai Lian were completely different in temperament and bore no resemblance, yet they shared a voice that was almost indistinguishable. Bai Lian needed to use his original voice for acting, so He Zhi became his voice double. The connection was made by Chen Yuebai.
The green light came on, and He Zhi suddenly felt a chill. He took a deep breath, rubbed his hands together, and restarted the car.
By the time he arrived at ‘Back to the Past,’ it was already two-thirty in the morning. He parked the car, grabbed the laptop, and entered the elevator. Chen Yuebai’s private room was on the third floor.
Standing at the door, he could faintly hear the sounds coming from inside.
“Lian Lian, this drink is too strong; you can’t have it.” Chen Yuebai’s voice came through clearly and distantly.
“It’s fine, Gege,” Bai Lian’s voice was similar to He Zhi’s but softer, and when he acted cute, it was truly endearing. “This little bit of alcohol is nothing. Besides, Gege, you’re here, so I’m not afraid.”
Listening to the conversation mixed with music just a door away, He Zhi felt a dull ache in his heart. He shook his head in self-mockery, then patted his face, putting on an appropriate smile before entering.
The room was dimly lit with cold colors. Chen Yuebai lounged lazily on the sofa, a cigarette dangling from his lips, unlit. His white shirt was unbuttoned a few buttons, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and he held a wine glass in his well-defined hand. He absentmindedly swirled the drink without taking a sip, as if he were simply admiring the cocktail’s mesmerizing colors. Bai Lian sat beside him in a fresh T-shirt and jeans, looking like a college student. Across from them were several handsome men—Chen Yuebai’s childhood friends.
“Chen Ge.” He Zhi closed the door behind him and stood by it. He rarely attended such gatherings and wasn’t good at socializing, so he felt a bit awkward.
“Tch.”
Song Shifeng, sitting across from Chen Yuebai, sneered when he saw He Zhi, downed his drink, stood up, and said, “The air here suddenly got worse; I need to step outside for some fresh air. Lian Lian, do you want to come with me?”
“Song Ge, just bear with it for a bit. You’re a big movie star; if someone recognizes you outside, you’ll be in tomorrow’s headlines again,” Bai Lian said, seemingly oblivious to Song Shifeng’s meaning, still looking innocent. He nudged Chen Yuebai, “Gege, Mr. He is here.”
Chen Yuebai nodded, stood up, placed the glass on the table, and looked at He Zhi with his cold, beautiful eyes, “You’re here. Just give me the items and go rest.”
He Zhi felt something surge in his chest, maintaining a composed smile, but only he knew how painfully stiff his cheeks felt. He nodded and took a few steps forward.
Song Shifeng, hearing Bai Lian’s words, sat back down, but he regarded He Zhi with a disdainful, cold gaze. Next to him sat a smiling man with gold-rimmed glasses, looking gentle, yet at that moment, he seemingly carelessly extended a foot.
“Thud.”
He Zhi tripped and fell to the ground, instinctively reaching out to the table, causing the glasses to clatter and spill. He was instantly drenched in alcohol, the liquid dripping down his black hair to his cheeks, flowing past his lips, leaving a burning sensation.
“Mr. He, are you alright?” Bai Lian reached out a hand to him, appearing concerned.
“Sorry, I accidentally tripped over someone.” The man who had stuck out his foot still wore a smile, looking at Chen Yuebai, “Gege, Mr. He won’t mind, right?” This man was Bai Mingyuan, Chen Yuebai’s childhood friend and Bai Lian’s cousin.
Chen Yuebai didn’t respond, merely leaned back against the sofa, lifting his pale, cool chin toward He Zhi, “Are you okay?”
He Zhi bit his tongue to suppress the pain as he stood up. He shook his head and handed the laptop he had instinctively protected to Chen Yuebai, forcing his voice to steady, “I’m fine. Chen Ge, I delivered the items; I’ll take my leave now. You enjoy yourself.”
Just as he was about to turn around, he suddenly felt his wrist being grabbed. The hands were icy, and the sensation pressed against his skin was particularly vivid.
He Zhi’s pupils constricted.
Chen Yuebai stood up, loosely holding He Zhi’s wrist, looking at Bai Lian and the three men across from them, “I’m tired; I’m leaving.”
“Hey, hey, Gege, don’t go! What time is it? It’s rare for us to get together, and Lian Lian finally has some free time,” Song Shifeng said, sitting next to a round-faced, chubby man, another childhood friend of Chen Yuebai, named Mai Guan. He was a wealthy second-generation who loved to mix in the entertainment industry, claiming to be an investor, and often dated small stars while showering them with money.
Chen Yuebai smiled faintly, “You all enjoy yourselves; just put it on my tab.” With that, he pulled He Zhi out of the private room. The door was gently closed by the waiter, leaving Song Shifeng’s cold snort behind.
Chen Yuebai’s hand was icy, but He Zhi felt his wrist burning.
He felt a mix of anticipation and trepidation, “Chen Ge, you…”
Perhaps having drunk too much, Chen Yuebai suddenly found the young man, who was obediently letting himself be led, somewhat adorable. His gaze deepened as he reached out a hand, the same color as the moonlight, and playfully brushed the young man’s hair back, his voice slightly hoarse, “It’s late; stay at my place tonight.”
He Zhi’s pupils constricted, the hand being held felt as if it had suddenly turned cold, trembling slightly, “Okay.”
……
Chen Yuebai had an apartment in the city center, on the top floor, a spacious flat with plenty of room, usually kept clean by someone who came regularly. However, he found boredom intolerable and spent half the year away—either actively working as a screenwriter on set or traveling. He didn’t stay in this apartment often, so it felt cold and empty at the moment.
Upon entering, they were greeted by a wide living room with huge floor-to-ceiling windows. There was hardly any furniture, and the cold gray carpet made the space feel even more expansive.
Chen Yuebai headed straight for the bar, while He Zhi hung up his coat and stood awkwardly in the middle of the empty living room.
“The street view here is nice; you can take a look,” Chen Yuebai said casually, opening a bottle of light golden liquor. Seeing He Zhi hesitantly move toward the window, Chen Yuebai raised an eyebrow and poured the drink into a glass.
He Zhi stood by the window, instinctively placing his hand against the glass. Outside, the dazzling yet cold lights flickered, casting a glow on his face, making him appear even paler, which gave him a strangely vulnerable feeling. He found himself in a daze; he wasn’t particularly interested in the street view, but since Chen Yuebai wanted him to look, he complied.
Suddenly, a pair of hands covered his hand on the glass. He Zhi’s eyes widened, and just as he was about to instinctively pull away, Chen Yuebai leaned in close to his ear, his voice low and husky, as if it were meant to pierce his soul, “Be good, don’t move.”
In an instant, He Zhi’s cheeks felt like they were on fire, his voice trembling slightly, “Gege… I-I won’t move…”
A glass of light golden liquid appeared before him, the cold rim pressing against his lips. Chen Yuebai leaned in close to He Zhi’s earlobe, satisfied to feel the young man trembling like a frightened rabbit. He smiled, his eyes seemingly filled with moonlight, “This is whiskey; be good and drink it.” Some things were best done when drunk.
He Zhi obediently opened his mouth, and the whiskey was poured into his mouth. His lips, now stained with alcohol, turned a certain shade of red, and the light golden liquid dripped down the corner of his mouth, tracing along his delicate, pale throat before disappearing into his collar.
“Mmm…”
He Zhi swallowed the liquor, his gaze hazy. His hand pressed against the glass began to curl slightly, his knuckles turning a bit red.
Chen Yuebai watched as the usually dull and boring young man transformed into someone… quite appetizing, finally smiling with satisfaction. He casually tossed the glass to the ground, then forcefully turned the young man’s face toward him, covering his lips with his own.
“Mmm…”
The young man’s lips tasted surprisingly soft and delicious, even with the alcohol. Chen Yuebai held the back of the young man’s head, savoring every moment. His hands patiently unbuttoned the young man’s shirt, and when he reached the last button, it finally popped open…
The cold glass window made He Zhi’s body tremble uncontrollably, yet he felt a burning heat. His mind was hazy, but he retained a sliver of clarity. He suddenly noticed the lights outside, reflecting his shadow on the window, and he finally realized what Chen Yuebai was doing…
“No…” He widened his eyes, at least… not here. What if someone saw them? What would happen…
“He Zhi, are you going to refuse me?” Chen Yuebai’s words were flirtatious, yet his voice was cold and hollow, devoid of anything but desire.
But even so, He Zhi found it impossible to refuse.
“Mmm…”
He Zhi’s fingers pressed against the glass trembled slightly, turning red as if stained with blood.
It actually hurt…
Yet Chen Yuebai didn’t notice at all. He merely pressed the young man’s slender body down onto the soft carpet, finally pulling the curtains closed.
“Chen… Ge…” He Zhi was obedient and compliant, his eyes filled with infatuation.
Hearing the young man’s voice, Chen Yuebai paused, his lips brushing against He Zhi’s ear as he whispered hoarsely, “I love your voice. Be good and call me Gege like you did just now.”
He Zhi’s pupils constricted, his trembling body feeling as if it had been doused with cold water. He loved Chen Yuebai so much; he couldn’t refuse any of Chen Yuebai’s requests. At this moment, he should open his mouth and obey Chen Yuebai.
But He Zhi bit his lip, turning his head to hide his expression in the shadows. His damp black hair covered his eyes, preventing Chen Yuebai from seeing the emotions swirling within them.
“Speak.” Chen Yuebai’s hand pressed down on the young man’s collarbone with force, as if he wanted to break the skin and draw blood. He Zhi felt pain but merely bit his lip until it lost all color, refusing to comply with Chen Yuebai’s request to call him Gege.
He Zhi’s heart ached painfully; he thought he was being a bit pathetic. He had long known that Chen Yuebai only liked his voice—the voice that resembled Bai Lian’s. He had suspected that Chen Yuebai saw him as a substitute, as an ornament, yet he still couldn’t let go of his infatuation and affection for Chen Yuebai, nor could he completely abandon his pride. At this moment, as he and Chen Yuebai engaged in such acts like lovers, he simply didn’t want to be a substitute.
The young man bit his lip, his teeth white and lovely, the lower lip turning pale from the pressure, yet he remained silent. Chen Yuebai raised an eyebrow, a cold and intrigued smile playing on his lips. He suddenly found this stubborn young man somewhat interesting and endearing.
He Zhi’s hand clutched the carpet beneath him, his lower lip finally breaking, yet he still made no sound. Chen Yuebai watched as a glimmer of light crossed the beautiful eyes of He Zhi, then leaned down to gently kiss away the blood from his lips.
The curtain fluttered slightly, and the neon lights outside remained dazzling and cold.
……