The noise grew increasingly louder. Ji Yingying felt something was amiss, so she got up, slipped on her shoes, and opened the door. Outside, the moon hung high in a pitch-black sky, with not a hint of wind.
“No storm or gale? Then where is this noise coming from?” Instead, a faint scent of blood lingered on the ground. Ji Yingying glanced left and right, confirming nothing was out of place, before turning back inside to continue reading her vernacular storybook.
In the past, she could finish a storybook in about a day and a night. But now, this one had taken her three full days just to get halfway through.
[That dog Emperor! Doesn’t he know women aren’t supposed to meddle in politics? Why must he force me to become an official?]
The sudden curse made the hidden guard outside, who was cleaning up the bloodstains, tremble uncontrollably. Damn, Little Lord Ji truly lived up to her reputation—daring to call the Emperor a dog! You’re one of a kind!
“Master, one of them escaped…” Rong San returned and knelt on the ground to report.
“Hmm, investigate who sent assassins after Little Lord Ji. Also, assign more men to ensure her protection.”
“Yes!” When the Emperor learned of this, he was furious and ordered an investigation into who targeted Ji Yingying.
Meanwhile, Ji Yingying slept soundly through the night, only to wake up the next morning with a headache, dreading the court assembly.
[Ugh… I really don’t want to attend court. It’s fine, it’s fine—tomorrow I can rest. Tomorrow, I’ll sleep until the end of time!]
Despite her resentment, Ji Yingying obediently dragged herself out of bed and headed to court.
Arriving at the Hall of Diligent Governance, she couldn’t stop yawning. Having mistaken today for her last day of work, she’d stayed up late and now felt utterly drained.
[Tomorrow’s my day off. Today, let me feast on some melons to liven things up!]
[What kind of melon would the Host like to eat?]
[Last time I feasted on the Second Prince’s melon, my Chapter 19 got locked for two days. So, how about a melon on filicide? If not that, uxoricide will do, or embezzlement, bribery, treason, collusion with the enemy… Wait, I’ve already feasted on treason and collusion. That Chancellor Xiao was guilty of it—surely they haven’t caught all of them?]
[Of course not. See that civil official, Zheng Zhen? He’s also a traitor colluding with the enemy.]
[With Linfeng Kingdom?]
[No, it’s Baohe Country. I hear it’s a nation on horseback—its people are brave and skilled in battle. If the Host gets a chance, you should go there for some melon-feasting!]
[Am I insane? Traveling that far? Just the journey from Xinhe County to the capital was unbearable—no cars, no planes. Why suffer like that? If that dog Emperor dies, I’ll hide deep in the mountains. After all, I still have my dimension. I’ve been here so long without a care, I almost forgot about it.]
In her previous life, she had possessed a dimension accessible through a bracelet. In this life, she no longer needed the bracelet—she could access it with her mind. All the supplies she’d stored in her past life were still there, so she never had to worry about hunger or cold.
Besides, life was so comfortable now that she hardly used the dimension, though she had stored many things inside.
[So, Host, are you still going to feast on Zheng Zhen’s melon?]
[Of course! Why wouldn’t I? Tell me, how did he collude with the enemy and commit treason? Oh~ So he didn’t even know he was colluding? What a lecherous scoundrel! He had no idea his wife was a spy from an enemy state and had repeatedly stolen military secrets for Baohe Country. When he found out, he covered for her just to curry favor, already becoming a traitor to the nation. He deserves to be arrested…]
[“Zheng Zhen still thinks his wife is a heavenly beauty, loving her endlessly, even licking her feet every night… I wonder if those feet stink? Doesn’t it make him sick when he eats?”]
[“And this Mrs. Zheng Zhen actually has athlete’s foot, sigh! Another one with heavy tastes—the last one licked… butts, this one licks feet, will the next one lick dogs? Actually, licking dogs would be much better than the first two.”]
[“Host, there’s more…”]
[“Holy crap, this Mrs. Zheng Zhen was actually a top courtesan! When he’s not home, she goes to entertain clients, hehe… Right now, she’s probably sleeping with a patron in the biggest brothel. This woman is too powerful, able to go nonstop for a whole day and night. No wonder she’s from a nation born on horseback—the green hat she gives others is truly big and round.”]
The Emperor was right outside, and he heard all of Ji Yingying’s inner thoughts. After listening for a while, he immediately ordered someone to arrest Zheng Zhen and sent others to capture his wife.
[“Zheng Zhen is still a devoted dog of a man. His wife can’t have children, and he doesn’t even mind. He even gave up wanting kids just to lick feet, which made his old mother so angry she fell ill. What filial piety! But then again, not wanting children isn’t a crime—respect others’ choices.”]
“The Emperor has arrived!”
“Long live the Emperor, long live the Emperor…” Ji Yingying knelt down along with everyone else. [“Sigh, kneeling every day—my knees are killing me. Can’t we just sit like we did in meetings in my past life?”]
[“Host, this is ancient times. This is called holding court, not a meeting.”]
[“Holding court is also about discussing government affairs. What’s the difference from a meeting? Everyone sits down, has a cup of tea, mmm~ How delightful it would be to hold court like that!”]
The Emperor snorted silently, thinking: Dream on~
“I have a memorial to present!”
Ji Cailiang stepped forward. Ji Yingying peeked out, looking at her father with confusion. [“Who is my dad going to impeach? At least tell me so I can enjoy the first piece of gossip!”]
Ji Cailiang couldn’t help but twitch the corner of his mouth. He wasn’t impeaching anyone. With her around, they were lucky if others didn’t impeach their family—how could he dare impeach anyone else?
“Minister Ji, speak.”
“I have fulfilled my mission, having collected all the duck and goose feathers from the city and nearby towns, counties, and villages. Additionally, the purchased duck and goose meat has all been processed into dried duck, dried goose, etc., which can be stored for two to three months.”
“Good, very good!”
[“Why didn’t my dad say anything? Once the ducks are ready, I can borrow one to take home and gnaw on!”]
“Where are the dried ducks and geese currently stored?”
“At the estate in the outskirts of the capital. The drying process isn’t finished yet. I estimate it will take about half a month.”
“Fine. Once they’re ready to eat, take seven or eight back for our Little Minister Ji to nourish herself.”
[“Seven or eight, for me?”]
“I thank Your Majesty for your grace!”
“I thank Your Majesty for your grace!” Ji Yingying happily stepped out from behind the pillar, smiling as she expressed her gratitude.
“Hmm.” The Emperor waved his hand, feeling quite pleased. It seemed Little Minister Ji was easy to win over. Next time, he’d reward her with a few more chickens and ducks…
[“The Emperor is so stingy. I’ve accomplished so much—the floor heating, down jackets, cotton clothes, corn, and more were all my ideas. And he only gives me a few ducks? How miserly…”]
The Emperor: …Alright, alright, if that’s how you think, next time he won’t give anything at all.
“If it weren’t for tomorrow being my day off, I wouldn’t put up with this injustice. I’d loudly demand: Why? You may be the Emperor, but you can’t ignore my opinions. I offered suggestions yet received no reward. Hmph, next time I have ideas, I definitely won’t speak up.”
Emperor: …You’re the petty one. Look at the kind of ideas you come up with?
The assembled ministers had long been suppressing their laughter. In this world, the only one who could make the Emperor eat humble pie was this Little Lord Ji – outwardly timid as a dog, yet harboring a venomous tongue in his heart. Had it been anyone else, they would have long been infuriated to the point of vomiting blood.