Zheng Xiangyi knew in her heart she shouldn’t have such thoughts. That was His Majesty, her elder, a dignified presence like a father. Yet she couldn’t help imagining his expression when moved by passion, wanting to see him troubled by love, unable to control himself, wanting to see his jade-like features tinged with a restrained, faint blush.
This was insolence, overstepping, great disrespect.
Yet, the more she admonished herself, the more this thought took root in her heart, even… stealthily infiltrating her dreams.
The night rain was fine and dense, dripping quietly from between leaves, lightly tapping the newly bloomed peony flower. The delicate petal trembled slightly, parting with a fine seam. The raindrop slipped silently along the crevice, pouring all the nectar accumulated throughout spring deep into the trembling stamen.
A soft, seductive moan suddenly escaped from the bed. Zheng Xiangyi’s fingers clenched the corner of the quilt tightly, her pitch-black hair tangled and sticking to her face, her snow-white skin flushed with an unnatural rosy hue…
In the dim candlelight, a man pressed down upon her. Damp, fine sweat slid from his distinctly muscular chest, drop by drop, falling onto her soft body.
Her hands weakly clung to his strong, lean shoulders and back. Under the fierce assault, her gaze grew unfocused, broken whimpers like a young animal escaping her lips.
A soft chuckle escaped his mouth. Slightly displeased, she coquettishly sought his lips, extending her tongue to lick them, swaying her slender waist to press closer to him.
“Xiangyi.” He called her name softly, taking her lips and grinding them meticulously, his breath mingling with hers.
All grew quiet around them. The narrow bed became its own little world, leaving only the entwined silhouettes of two figures cast upon the wall.
Zheng Xiangyi slightly opened her eyes, trying to see his face clearly through the hazy mist. Who was it? Such a gentle voice, such a familiar outline… who was this man possessing her?
That familiar name was stuck in her throat, ready to burst forth, yet she couldn’t utter it. Wave after wave of immense sensation assaulted her. Zheng Xiangyi trembled all over and woke with a start in a blinding white light.
Becoming aware of the unusual sensation between her legs, Zheng Xiangyi grabbed her pillow in a mixture of shame and annoyance and threw it. Ahhh! How could she have such a dream? She was still a maiden in this lifetime!
Mu Qin pushed the door open and saw her at once, sitting on the bed hugging the brocade quilt, her expression gloomy, yet the corners of her eyes tinged with a charming red, as if stained by sunset clouds. She seemed as if soaked through, a sheen of fine sweat glistening faintly in the morning light.
Mu Qin’s heart gave an involuntary jump. The Junzhu looked breathtakingly beautiful, yet with an allure that could steal one’s soul. How had her Junzhu, overnight, displayed such unfamiliar, bewitching charm?
“Junzhu.” Suppressing the flutter in her heart, Mu Qin approached softly, ready to help her change clothes.
Zheng Xiangyi, however, raised a hand to stop her, still lowering her head, her voice tinged with suppressed shame and anger. “Prepare hot water first. I need to bathe.”
Mu Qin didn’t dare say more, quickly assenting and withdrawing.
Immersed in the warm water, the gentle flow caressing her skin gradually washed away the uncomfortable stickiness. Zheng Xiangyi let out a soft sigh of relief, yet the fragmented, intense pieces of her dream stubbornly surfaced in her mind, especially that familiar yet blurred facial outline…
She suddenly grew extremely irritated, slapping the water’s surface fiercely, splashing water everywhere, her own cheeks flushing crimson from the action.
Feng Yu!
How could she dream of that scoundrel Feng Yu?
Did she still harbor lingering feelings for him?
Zheng Xiangyi, how pathetic are you? He treated you like that, and you still can’t forget him, even dreaming of… doing such things with him!
He… he had touched the Imperial Consort! He was as dirty as could be!
The more she thought, the angrier she became, her breathing growing rapid.
A cautious inquiry came from outside the door: “Junzhu, would you like more hot water?”
Zheng Xiangyi swiftly composed herself, replying mildly, “No need. I’m finished.”
The recent continuous rain had yet to dispel the chill. Mu Qin deliberately chose a thick peach-red satin dress and jacket for her.
“Has His Majesty finished court?” Zheng Xiangyi asked habitually while changing.
Mu Qin stole a glance at her expression. “It’s a rest day today. His Majesty should be handling official business in the Zichen Hall. Just a moment ago, he summoned Eunuch Gui and called for the Junzhu to attend him at the Zichen Hall.”
Zheng Xiangyi instinctively was about to agree, but the words hesitated on her lips. “His Majesty rarely rests. I won’t disturb him. Go to the Zichen Hall on my behalf to report back.”
After having such a dream last night, she truly didn’t know how to face His Majesty. In her previous life, she had repeatedly defied the imperial will for her affair with Feng Yu. In this life, she had clearly decided to stay by His Majesty’s side forever, keeping far away from Feng Yu, yet in her dreams, she still thought of him…
She felt panicked, uneasy, apprehensive. Remembering that familiar outline in her dream, a secret sense of shame welled up within her. Feng Yu, why did it have to be Feng Yu? But if not Feng Yu, then who else?
In this palace, the one whose appearance resembled Feng Yu so much was only…
Zheng Xiangyi’s face suddenly paled. She hurriedly severed this treasonous line of thought. How dare she project those wanton thoughts onto His Majesty? His Majesty treated her like his own daughter, with kindness and generosity. How could she…?
If His Majesty knew she had conceived such rebellious, shameful thoughts that violated human ethics, how furious and disappointed would he be? He would surely think she had betrayed his nurturing kindness, his heart turning cold towards her again.
That absolutely could not be, absolutely should not be His Majesty. It had to be Feng Yu. It must be Feng Yu.
Zheng Xiangyi admonished herself over and over, yet her heart still sank bit by bit. Even dressed in light, warm spring clothing, she felt unable to ward off the chill brought by the continuous drizzle.
Mu Qin fastened the last hairpin for her, examined her for a moment, and her expression seemed to relax considerably.
“This servant will go to the Zichen Hall to deliver the message.” She hesitated, but relying on their childhood companionship, couldn’t help advising, “Junzhu has already had her coming-of-age ceremony. Soon, it will be time to meet prospective families and discuss marriage arrangements. It is indeed… not suitable to remain inseparable from His Majesty all day long like in childhood.”
In her view, the Junzhu and His Majesty were truly too close. When the Junzhu was young and innocent, it was understandable. But now that the Junzhu had grown into a graceful young lady, if she still clung to His Majesty without the slightest restraint as before, it was truly improper etiquette.
His Majesty was preoccupied with myriad state affairs and might not have time to attend to such subtle points or specifically teach the Junzhu about propriety between men and women. But the Junzha herself could no longer remain so unaware.
Zheng Xiangyi slowly turned and asked, her gaze vacant, as if asking her, yet also herself: “Can’t I be inseparable from His Majesty?”
“Junzhu and His Majesty are not truly father and daughter. How can you be inseparable for a lifetime? In the future, Junzhu will have her own husband, her own children. Those will be the family inseparable from you.” Mu Qin urged patiently.
After all, the Junzhu would eventually marry and leave the palace. Even His Majesty’s true daughter, Princess Shunning, couldn’t stay in the palace all her life. Although Mu Qin and the Junzhu were nominally mistress and servant, after many years of companionship, she had come to regard her as a younger sister. Naturally, she hoped the Junzhu could adapt sooner to avoid suffering when the inevitable separation came.
Zheng Xiangyi opened her eyes wide and asked earnestly, “Mu Qin, what if I don’t marry? What if I just remain His Majesty’s daughter for a lifetime?”
She simply didn’t want to leave His Majesty. She wanted to stay by his side forever. Why couldn’t she be His Majesty’s daughter-in-law? Why couldn’t she be his daughter?
Mu Qin met the Junzhu’s clear, distinct eyes and momentarily didn’t know how to respond. If she never married, of course she could stay in the palace. But what would happen to the Junzhu after His Majesty passed away? A Junzhu with no blood ties to the imperial family—would the newly ascended emperor tolerate her?
Zheng Xiangyi’s gaze shifted to the window. The gloomy rain continued, showing no signs of clearing. The peonies under the tree were drenched, only a few scattered petals remaining on the branches.
No one sheltered them from the wind and rain. Listless, pitiful.
“I understand, Mu Qin. You may leave first.”
Mu Qin swallowed her remaining words, bowed her head, and left, leaving Zheng Xiangyi alone in the room, silently watching the continuous drizzle outside.
…
In Zichen Hall, when he received Mu Qin’s message, Feng Jue was slightly taken aback before raising his hand to dismiss her. However, after Mu Qin left, he could no longer focus on government affairs. The brush in his hand unconsciously stilled, all his energy seeming to dissipate in an instant.
This was the first time Xiangyi had refused his summons. Others said Xiangyi was willful and spoiled, but in truth, she was always so well-behaved in front of him.
He sat dazedly in the hall. One moment, he felt gratified that Xiangyi cared for his well-being; the next, he felt dejected that she could bear not to see him. Had there been some gossip in the palace that upset her?
Eunuch Gui watched as His Majesty sat like this for over half an hour, the atmosphere around him growing heavier. After much consideration, he couldn’t help but speak up.
“If Your Majesty truly wishes to see the Junzhu, perhaps you could go visit her?”
Looking at His Majesty’s expression, it was as if the Junzhu had abandoned him. So clingy!
Hearing this, Feng Jue silently picked up his brush, his expression calm and unreadable. “Since Xiangyi is concerned about Zhen’s exhaustion, Zhen must naturally take care of his health and not worry her.”
Eunuch Gui watched him bend over the desk again, furiously writing, and couldn’t help the slight twitch at the corner of his eye.
…
Feng Jue thought Xiangyi was just being impulsive. Unexpectedly, on the second and third day, Xiangyi still didn’t come to see him. He couldn’t sit still anymore and decided to see what was going on with her.
Coincidentally, the sky cleared, clouds dispersing and rain ceasing. After being cooped up indoors for several days, Zheng Xiangyi stepped outside to take advantage of the sunshine.
After the continuous rain, most of the flowers in the garden had fallen. Fragmented petals formed a long carpet underfoot. The leaves, however, were tender and green, their brightness almost dazzling.
It was under a tree that Zheng Xiangyi came face-to-face with Feng Yu. Since she had intentionally distanced herself from him, even spreading news of her dislike for him, they hadn’t met for a long time.
Seeing her, Feng Yu’s eyes held a trace of daze. He had always known Zheng Xiangyi was beautiful. Now, as she cast a cool glance his way, the slight upward tilt of her eyes made her skin appear even more radiant than snow, her bright eyes like jade. She resembled a peony in first bloom, dazzlingly beautiful beyond compare.
“Xiangyi.” Though uncertain why Xiangyi had suddenly taken a dislike to him, Feng Yu hesitated for a moment before stepping forward.
Zheng Xiangyi only gave him a cold glance, casually tossed the flower bud she had plucked onto the ground, and turned to leave.
Feng Yu clenched his fists, feeling a wave of humiliation at her disdainful attitude. He pursed his lips and stood his ground, staring fixedly at the flower sinking into the muddy ground.
Unexpectedly, after taking a few steps, Zheng Xiangyi stopped and called out to him:
“Feng Yu, come here.”
Her tone was casual, like summoning a small cat or dog. Feng Yu’s face darkened further, but he still lifted his feet and walked towards her step by step.
Zheng Xiangyi stood before him, thoughtfully examining his face. Finding it tiring to look up, she said, “Lower your head.”
Feng Yu bent down, his face grim. The next moment, however, his eyes widened slightly in surprise.
Zheng Xiangyi actually reached out and pinched his face, her gaze scrutinizing him from above. A rich, sweet fragrance lingered at the tip of his nose. Feng Yu felt his head spin, all the blood in his body stirring restlessly. He stiffened, not daring to move a muscle.
Zheng Xiangyi… what was she doing?
“Indeed, can’t compare to him.” Zheng Xiangyi suddenly released him, frowning in disgust. She took out a silk handkerchief and meticulously wiped each finger that had touched him.
She had truly lost her mind in her previous life, to have been so desperate for such a person.
Zheng Xiangyi didn’t feel her actions were at all inappropriate. She turned to leave again but was caught by Feng Yu, who had snapped back to his senses, grabbing her hand.
“Xiangyi…” Feng Yu couldn’t help but ask, his voice even carrying a trace of barely perceptible grievance. “Why treat me like this?”
He treated her with such care, yet she hated and humiliated him so? And just now, toying with him like that.
Zheng Xiangyi tried hard to shake off his hand, but it was futile. She glared at him angrily. “Let go!”
Feng Yu gazed at her face, made even more radiant by her slight anger, feeling a subtle, thrilling palpitation stir in his heart. He couldn’t resist leaning closer, but suddenly felt a chilling gaze fixed on his back.
He slowly turned his head and saw his father standing not far away, hands behind his back, watching them with cold, heavy eyes.