To Be the Emperor’s Woman?
Zheng Xiangyi felt as if a bolt of lightning had exploded in her mind, leaving her thoughts blank and her ears ringing.
She had been raised by His Majesty, practically like his own daughter. How could she ever become his woman?
In an instant, countless voices surged through her mind: Scandalous! Defying ethics! Trampling on morality! Each accusation cut deep, stabbing at her very spine.
Zheng Xiangyi should have turned pale, should have trembled all over. Yet, immediately after, an even clearer question rose in her mind:
Why couldn’t she be His Majesty’s woman?
Yes, why couldn’t she?
Though raised by His Majesty, they shared no blood relation. Stripped of her title as Princess, she was just an ordinary noble daughter. If His Majesty were to hold a selection for consorts, she would be eligible to participate.
Muqin said that even as His Majesty’s daughter, she couldn’t stay by his side forever. But… but there would be no problem if she were His Majesty’s woman.
She could rightfully accompany him, reside with him, freely bask in his affection, and openly monopolize him, not allowing him to spare a single glance for anyone else.
Perhaps she could even bear His Majesty a child, a child inheriting both her and His Majesty’s blood. That way, all the unfulfilled wishes of this lifetime could come true.
Thinking of this, Zheng Xiangyi nearly wept for joy.
How wonderful. She would be both His Majesty’s daughter and his wife. Her child would also be His Majesty’s child. They would be truly intimate, inseparable.
Yet the very next moment, those voices of doubt came flooding back.
He was the Emperor, a wise ruler for the ages. Did she truly want to drag him into this immoral quagmire for the sake of her own selfish desires?
Would His Majesty accept her?
She remembered the late Emperor, once hailed as a sagely ruler. After obtaining Consort Zhuang, he became tyrannical and suspicious. The entire court and harem lived in constant fear, treading on thin ice.
Even though Consort Zhuang had already been married and was forcibly taken into the palace, everyone blamed her as a seductress, hating her for ruining their wise and mighty Emperor.
Could she withstand such condemnation? Could she bear to let His Majesty shoulder such infamy?
“Xiangyi?” Sensing the slight tremble in the body nestled against him, Feng Jue worriedly steadied her shoulders.
Was Xiangyi angry? Because of that woman earlier?
He had never paid much mind to matters of love and affection. Most of the consorts in the palace were from his princely days, bestowed by the late Emperor or Empress Dowager. After ascending the throne, he had only held one consort selection. After having Xiangyi, his energy was entirely devoted to state affairs and her.
When that woman had thrown herself at him earlier, he felt nothing. Instead, with Xiangyi present, he found it somewhat troublesome.
He was accustomed to considering Xiangyi’s feelings first in everything. Xiangyi had a possessive nature, occasionally even feeling jealous of Feng Yue. How much more so this woman who had suddenly accosted him?
Therefore, though he felt it somewhat improper to hold her like this, he couldn’t bring himself to push her away.
Hearing the concern in his tone, Zheng Xiangyi buried her face in his chest, nuzzling slightly. She took a deep breath before lifting her head, her smile as usual.
“I’m fine now, Your Majesty. Let’s return to the palace.”
She knew her earlier thoughts couldn’t be shared with His Majesty just yet. His Majesty treated her like a daughter. If he knew she harbored such rebellious feelings towards him, he would surely be furious and disappointed.
The mere thought of him possibly looking at her with that same disappointed gaze he had in her previous life upon learning of her affair with Feng Yu made Zheng Xiangyi’s nose sting and her heart feel heavy as if weighed down by a thousand-pound stone, almost suffocating.
What should she do? What exactly must she do to stay by his side forever? In this life, she had no other wish, only this single thought, haunting her day and night.
Feng Jue, however, merely gazed at her tenderly and asked softly, “Did you enjoy yourself today?”
He knew well that Xiangyi loved bustle and excitement. It was a pity his daily duties were so demanding, leaving him few opportunities to accompany her outside the palace. Staying by his side, Xiangyi ultimately had far fewer chances for carefree laughter than other children, silently enduring much grievance.
Zheng Xiangyi’s eyes grew slightly warm. His Majesty treated her so well. How could she bear to let go? And precisely because he was so good, she couldn’t help but harbor these improper, presumptuous thoughts.
It was all His Majesty’s fault!
“This place isn’t interesting anymore. I want to go back.” Compared to the man before her, those so-called talented scholars engaged in lofty discussions instantly seemed pale and shallow—inferior in appearance, inferior in talent, and far, far inferior in bearing and grace.
Feng Jue naturally took her hand, his broad palm enveloping hers completely, warmth slowly spreading through. “Then let’s go back.”
Feeling the warmth of his palm, the improper thoughts Zheng Xiangyi had just suppressed in her heart once again quietly began to stir.
If she didn’t try, how would she know His Majesty would definitely refuse? He doted on her so much. In her previous life, when she cried and made a scene to marry Feng Yu, he was initially so adamantly against it, but in the end, didn’t he still yield?
It was just that back then, her methods were too extreme, which made him so angry he fell ill… Having lived a second life, Zheng Xiangyi had ultimately learned to be a bit more cautious. Anyway, His Majesty couldn’t immediately marry her off. She could take her time, slowly softening his heart.
She quickly convinced herself. After all, she already carried plenty of infamy now; a little more wouldn’t matter. But His Majesty…
When the time came, she would just say it was she who had shamelessly seduced His Majesty. Everyone already knew she was spoiled and willful; nothing she did would raise eyebrows.
His Majesty would surely protect her too.
Most importantly, she understood better than anyone that His Majesty loved her. Even if it wasn’t romantic love, with this love, he absolutely couldn’t truly bring himself to refuse her heartlessly.
She turned her hand over, her slender fingers firmly threading through his, slowly interlocking them, their fingers entwined.
Zheng Xiangyi had to admit that she had always been utterly selfish, only ever seeking her own satisfaction, never caring about the lives of others.
So it was in her previous life, and so it was in this one. It was just that this time, the object of her obsession had changed.
But no matter what, she would never let go again. His Majesty could never think of shaking her off. Even if he scolded her, resented her, she would cling stubbornly to his side until her dying day.
Feng Jue frowned slightly, glancing at their interlocked fingers, somewhat suspecting Xiangyi might have done it on purpose. But seeing her expression as usual, as if this was merely an instinctive closeness and dependence on an elder, he could only silently dismiss his doubts.
Xiangyi was still a child. What ill intentions could she possibly have?
Moreover, he remembered how hurt and aggrieved she had looked the last time he let go of her hand, so he was even more reluctant to do so again.
As they left the Bodhi Temple, they happened to run into the man who had spoken up for Zheng Xiangyi earlier right at the entrance.
Upon seeing them, the man immediately stopped and bowed with clasped hands, “Greetings to Your Highness, Your Majesty.”
“It’s you,” Zheng Xiangyi had a favorable impression of him. Earlier, she had been too busy dealing with the Yang scion to get a good look at him. Now, seeing him up close, he was handsome and gentle in appearance, his bearing even somewhat reminiscent of His Majesty, which added to her favorable impression.
Feng Jue naturally noticed the change in her attitude. His gaze swept over the man briefly before he spoke, “Rise.” But inwardly, he thought: This appearance certainly wouldn’t catch Xiangyi’s eye. A pity.
The man’s movements seemed a bit restrained. Looking up and seeing Zheng Xiangyi’s radiant beauty, a faint blush crept onto his earlobes. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”
Zheng Xiangyi didn’t notice this subtle change in his expression. She went straight to the point, “What is your name? Which family are you from?”
It was rare to find someone who didn’t believe those rumors and even spoke up for her in public. Naturally, she wanted to repay him properly. Zheng Xiangyi had always been protective of those she favored and especially generous to people she liked. Seeing his insightful remarks earlier, it wouldn’t hurt to give him an opportunity to advance.
The man hurriedly replied, “This humble one’s surname is Liu, given name Ningxuan. My father is Liu Tianhe, the Assistant Minister of the Court of Imperial Sacrifices.”
Zheng Xiangyi had originally thought that someone daring enough to openly contradict the Yang scion must come from a prominent family. She didn’t expect his father to be merely a minor official of the sixth rank. Seen in this light, this man appeared even more sincere and genuine.
She turned and tugged at Feng Jue’s sleeve, saying with a bright smile, “Your Majesty, wasn’t the purpose of your trip today precisely to seek out talent among the common people? Xiangyi feels this Lord Liu is also a promising talent. What do you think?”
Liu Ningxuan’s eyes immediately lit up, his face full of expectation as he looked toward the tall emperor.
Feng Jue patted her head, but his gaze fell on her fingers tightly clutching his sleeve. “Don’t be mischievous.”
Unwillingly, Zheng Xiangyi let go of his sleeve, turned her face away, and let out a soft, displeased huff. Earlier, upon seeing Liu Ningxuan, he had let go of her hand, and now she couldn’t even tug his sleeve? Was His Majesty that keen on avoiding impropriety with her?
Seeing her puffed-up, angry expression, Feng Jue couldn’t help a helpless smile. After all, in front of outsiders, he had to consider Xiangyi’s reputation and couldn’t be overly intimate.
After reassuring her with a glance, he turned to Liu Ningxuan, his tone calm yet carrying natural authority. “Minister Liu is upright and honest. The young master dares to speak frankly and argue his point. Truly, a worthy son of a worthy father.”
Liu Ningxuan was so excited his neck turned red, and he began to stutter unconsciously. “This… this subject will surely live up to Your Majesty’s expectations!”
Feng Jue gave a slight nod and said no more.
But Zheng Xiangyi huffed, “Shouldn’t you thank me? It was I who spoke up for you.”
Liu Ningxuan’s gaze shifted, darting a quick glance at her, his expression actually revealing a hint of shyness. “This humble one thanks Your Highness.”
Feng Jue watched his reaction, his eyes narrowing slightly. This man… seems to have some thoughts about Xiangyi.
He glanced subtly at Xiangyi and saw her proudly tilting her chin, looking very pleased with herself. The corner of his mouth lifted involuntarily.
It seemed he was overthinking. Xiangyi merely found Liu Ningxuan agreeable; she hadn’t developed any romantic notions.
Liu Tianhe was upright and honest to a fault, but lacked the political acumen to climb any higher. As for Liu Ningxuan, he wasn’t particularly optimistic about him either, but it wouldn’t hurt to give him some slight opportunity.
After exchanging a few polite words with Liu Ningxuan, Zheng Xiangyi wanted to take His Majesty and leave, because several young ladies in the vicinity kept glancing in His Majesty’s direction.
Though some didn’t recognize his identity, his exceptional appearance was certainly eye-catching. Hmph, it’s infuriating, Zheng Xiangyi thought resentfully. In the past, it was one thing, but now that she had decided to marry His Majesty, she absolutely would not allow him to have the slightest entanglement with any other woman.
That’s right. She had decided to marry His Majesty.
Not just to become his woman or his consort, but to marry him, to rightfully become his only wife.
He was the Emperor; he could have many women. But there could only be one who stood by his side as his equal.
She didn’t want to become just one of his women, leaving no lasting impression in his heart like those consorts in the rear palace. She had no part in His Majesty’s past and thus no grounds for jealousy. But from now on, he could only be hers alone.
Wasn’t His Majesty always saying he wanted to find her a perfect husband? Looking across this vast empire, could there possibly be a more perfect husband than His Majesty—more handsome, more powerful, who treated her better?
He raised her from childhood, and she would accompany him in his old age. They were meant to be a match made in heaven!
Zheng Xiangyi held her head high and proudly pulled Feng Jue away, leaving Liu Ningxuan standing alone, watching her figure as his eyes gradually dimmed.
The Princess was truly beautiful. But with his background… it was probably hopeless.
…
The two had only been away from the palace for half a day. As soon as Feng Jue returned, there were ministers requesting an audience before the Emperor. Feng Jue still had some state affairs to attend to and had to part ways with her at Zichen Hall.
Zheng Xiangyi stood still, gazing at him with longing eyes, truly reluctant to leave. His Majesty had been very busy lately, staying in Zichen Hall all day, spending much less time with her.
Feng Jue felt his heart soften under her gaze and coaxed gently, “Be good, Xiangyi. Once I’m done, I’ll go and accompany you.”
In the past, Zheng Xiangyi would have been delighted to be coaxed like this. But now, having resolved to become his wife, hearing such words instead made her feel somewhat uneasy.
She muttered quietly, “I’m not a child anymore…”
Feng Jue took it as her being petulant and patiently responded, “I know Xiangyi has grown up. I’ll join you for the evening meal later, alright?”
Zheng Xiangyi reluctantly hooked her fingers into his sleeve, letting go little by little, but then suddenly felt annoyed. It would have been better to take advantage of his rare free time and stay out longer. But since he had official duties to attend to, naturally she shouldn’t disturb him.
In the end, she nodded obediently and turned to return to her own palace.
As soon as she stepped through the palace gates, she heard Muqin’s cheerful voice, “Princess is back!” She said, rushing forward to greet her.
Zheng Xiangyi looked up at Muqin and felt an inexplicable pang of guilt, instinctively lowering her gaze. If Muqin knew she actually had such “treasonous” thoughts about marrying His Majesty… she would surely be terrified. Better to wait a bit longer and find a suitable opportunity to let her know gradually.
As she walked inside, she caught the cat, Xizi, who came flying towards her, cradling the entire feline in her arms. She absentmindedly rubbed its head. Xizi squinted in contentment, and she couldn’t help but smile.
“Was Xizi good today?”
Xizi let out a soft “meow,” its tail gently brushing the back of her hand.
Muqin couldn’t resist tattling beside her, “Xizi sneaked out again today! It took this servant quite a search!”
Xizi was growing up, and the palace halls could no longer confine it. If the palace servants were the least bit inattentive, it would silently slip out.
Stroking Xizi’s soft, smooth fur, Zheng Xiangyi also couldn’t bear to keep it cooped up in the palace all day. “Forget it. From now on, let He Fang take it out for walks more often.”
Since Xizi had already been officially acknowledged by His Majesty, there was no need to always confine it, though it still needed to be supervised when going out. Not that anyone would dare be foolish enough to provoke her cat anyway.
Muqin looked at the docile, cooing Xizi in her arms and couldn’t help but smile too. Since Xizi arrived, the palace really had become much livelier than before.
By dinnertime, His Majesty arrived as promised. Zheng Xiangyi had already instructed the imperial kitchens to prepare the dishes. Feng Jue noticed at a glance that today’s menu was somewhat different from usual.
“Your Majesty, try this.” Zheng Xiangyi picked up a strand of shredded eggplant and placed it in his bowl.
As the saying goes, to win a man’s heart, first win his stomach. Though Zheng Xiangyi couldn’t cook herself, she could instruct the kitchens to prepare a variety of new dishes for His Majesty every day, ensuring he was well-pleased.
Feng Jue had never been one to indulge his appetite, but seeing Xiangyi’s enthusiastic smile, he obligingly picked up the shredded eggplant and put it in his mouth, nodding at her. “Not bad.”
Zheng Xiangyi’s eyes instantly lit up. She hurriedly picked up portions of the other dishes and placed them in his bowl. In no time, the small bowl was piled high into a little peak.
Looking at the full bowl, she felt a great sense of accomplishment—no wonder His Majesty always liked to feed her in the past. So this was the feeling of filling someone else’s bowl until it overflowed. It was really quite nice.
Eagerly, she was about to pick up more food when Feng Jue gently pressed her hand down, his tone carrying a hint of helplessness. “Enough, Xiangyi.”
Though he sensed she was being especially enthusiastic today, he didn’t dwell on it, merely thinking it was because he had spent too little time with her lately. A trace of guilt inevitably arose in his heart.
Zheng Xiangyi peeked into his bowl, still somewhat uncertain. “Is it really enough?”