Xie Nong exhaled a breath of alcohol under the clear and bright moonlight, which seemed capable of purifying all the filth in the world. Slowly, he unearthed the long-buried secrets, broke them apart, and presented them before Xie Jinning. He awaited judgment or perhaps the consuming flames of anger and condemnation.
Hetian Village was not originally located here but further downstream, near the Mohe area, hence the name Hetian Village. Sixteen years ago, on the day Zhou Fang gave birth, a sudden rainstorm descended from the sky. At noon, a group of bedraggled yet dignified travelers arrived in Hetian Village, claiming their boat had run aground and the lady of the house was frightened. They asked if they could stay temporarily and eventually settled next to the Xie family.
Zhou Fang went into labor in the afternoon. The midwife was her third aunt from her mother’s side, who had come to stay at the Xie family in advance, fully prepared. However, there were signs of a difficult labor, and it wasn’t until nighttime that the child was born. At that moment, the woman next door, also frightened by the journey, went into premature labor.
Zhou Fang had seen the group at noon and noticed the woman, surrounded and carefully protected, adorned with gold and silver, exuding an air of nobility. This sight stirred a wicked thought in her. The Zhou family was poorer, and her parents almost sold her to a brothel to save up for her brother’s dowry and marriage. It was Xie Nong who saved her and used all his savings to marry her.
Although the Xie family wasn’t wealthy, it was far better than the Zhou family, where she was often beaten and starved. She didn’t have to serve her in-laws after marrying into the Xie family. The couple lived a simple life, with the man farming and the woman weaving. Zhou Fang enjoyed a period of good days, but the desire for wealth rooted deep in her heart never extinguished. This time, she found an opportunity.
She didn’t mind her own poverty, but she didn’t want her child to live a life of endless days without hope. Zhou Fang, being strong, was able to get up soon after giving birth. When the people next door came to ask her third aunt to help with the delivery, she disguised herself as an assistant and secretly switched the two babies.
Newborns are all wrinkled little red bundles, and coincidentally, the premature Xie Zhu was healthy, while the full-term Xie Jinning caught a cold during the switch, his cries weak like a kitten’s, so no one noticed. Besides Zhou Fang and her third aunt, no one knew about the baby switch. Three years later, her third aunt died of a sudden illness. Five years after that, another heavy rain caused the river to overflow, flooding the low-lying Hetian Village, prompting the entire village to relocate here.
It wasn’t until Xie Zhu was twelve that Zhou Fang, burdened by her conscience, fell into depression. On her deathbed, she confessed the truth to Xie Nong. “I always wondered why she suddenly cut ties with her family after the child was born. It must have been because she feared her third aunt would reveal the truth.”
Xie Nong shook his head and sighed deeply, “Jinning—” He held Xie Jinning’s hand, his rough face etched with tears like furrows in the mud, filled with regret and urgency. “Your mother was wrong, but she regretted it. In her final days, she was so thin, just skin and bones, unable to eat anything, constantly muttering ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry…'”
At this point, his emotions collapsed again, and he tightened his grip on Xie Jinning’s hand, “Don’t blame her…” Xie Nong’s eyes were swollen as he continued, “After she passed, I kept searching for news of that family. It took me years to find out they were the Xie family from the capital’s canal transport.”
Xie Jinning’s hand, pained by the grip, twitched but didn’t pull away. “Jinning, don’t hate Xiao Zhu either. The one we owe the most is him.” Xie Nong said, “That child was smart and independent from a young age, but A Fang never liked him. When he was little, he would secretly come to me crying, asking why his mother didn’t like him, wondering if he was being naughty…”
“As he grew older, he became less close to me. I thought he was maturing, but I didn’t realize he was hiding all his sadness and grievances.” Mentioning Xie Zhu, Xie Nong shed tears of sorrow, his long-suppressed thoughts pouring out like a flood. It was both a sigh of regret and a recollection.
“Xiao Zhu was a child with a talent for studying. There was no private school in the village, so he followed me to town, eavesdropping on classes and picking up discarded books to learn on his own.” “I wanted him to attend a private school, but the town was too far, and we couldn’t afford to rent a place there. Xiao Zhu had to travel back and forth, and a few times, he got caught eavesdropping and was beaten.”
“Later, the kind old scholar who taught there left the window open during classes, allowing Xiao Zhu to hide in a corner and listen.” “When Xiao Zhu was twelve, he finally passed the county exam. He was so happy, telling me he would study hard, become a scholar, and move us to town. He believed that once he succeeded, his mother would like him…”
“But then, then…” He broke down in tears, “From that day on, his mother fell ill.” She never recovered, growing thinner by the day. Then, before Zhou Fang passed away, she revealed Xie Zhu’s true identity to Xie Nong. It was their family that wronged Xie Zhu, making a child who should have grown up in wealth waste away in this small mountain village for so many years. They also wronged Xie Jinning, pulling him from sixteen years of luxury into the mud.
Unknowingly, Xie Jinning’s eyes filled with tears. He opened his mouth, trying to speak, but his throat felt blocked, unable to make a sound. “When Xiao Zhu was sixteen, the old scholar who had always helped him also passed away,” Xie Nong said. “Not long after, I discovered the true identity of that family and told Xiao Zhu the truth.”
“I still remember that night. He stared at me, tears falling without expression. He said nothing, but the hatred in his eyes was like a knife stabbing into my heart. I’ll never forget it.” So, Xie Zhu knew his true identity before coming to the Xie family. “Then I… I…”
Xie Jinning’s hand trembled, and the teacup fell, spilling clear water across the table. Intense emotions crashed over him like a waterfall, leaving him breathless. Thinking of how Xie Zhu was coldly treated by his mother, deceived by his father, and after a long journey, returned to the home that should have been his, only to see his parents and brother showering love on the imposter who took his place. And he, foolishly, tried to drive him away, causing a scene at the ancestral hall, ruining Xie Zhu’s clan induction ceremony.
How would Xie Zhu see me? I’m the biggest fool in the world, utterly foolish! Xie Jinning was on the verge of collapse. He covered his mouth, his chest heaving violently, his face even paler than the crescent moon in the sky. Tears fell into his palm, sliding down to soak his clothes. He wanted to hate, but didn’t know who to hate.
It was Zhou Fang who let him enjoy years of wealth and luxury for nothing. It was Xie Zhu who made him fall from a sky that wasn’t his into the mud. It was Xie Nong who revealed the whole truth to him. But they were all people of misfortune, making a wrong choice, taking a wrong step, leading to irreparable regret.
A beautiful jade, if not cherished, would shatter into mud, while bamboo could thrive in the soil. Perhaps, the one Xie Jinning should hate the most was his former self, reckless and arrogant. “He hates us, and rightly so. We wronged him, we…” Xie Nong drunkenly collapsed onto the table, tears glistening in the fragmented moonlight, his lips still murmuring. Sorry. The same words Zhou Fang uttered before her death.
Zhou Fang’s momentary lapse led to regret until death. Xie Nong’s selfish desires led to a lifetime of guilt and remorse. Xie Nong fell asleep, but Xie Jinning remained sitting in a daze, his mind blank. His outer garment had long slipped from his shoulders. The night was deep, and the cold wind chilled him to the bone, yet it couldn’t compare to the coldness in his heart.
Footsteps approached, and then the outer garment was draped back over his shoulders. He continued to shiver uncontrollably. Until a light touch on the back of his hand, his tightly clenched, red-marked hand was lifted, each stiff joint gently pried open, smoothed, and then wrapped in a warm palm. The dry, warm touch gradually brought Xie Jinning back to his senses.
He looked up, and the tall man stood beside him, his broad shoulders like an impenetrable wall, blocking out the cold wind. The face, as always, showed little expression, but the deep black eyes gazed at him without the usual oppressive and stern demeanor, only a faint trace of pity. The heart, weighed down heavily, seemed to be lifted by this faint warmth spreading from his palm, gradually returning to its place.
With a choked sob, Xie Jinning suddenly embraced the man’s waist, crying out loud like a weary bird returning to the forest. The cleaning work in the kitchen had long been finished. Yan Yi stood quietly behind the curtain, not stepping out, but he had heard everything clearly. As an outsider, he had no right to blame anyone, only to feel regret.
And now, with the fabric around his waist soaked, the boy cried, trembling all over, unable to suppress the sobs and cries that seemed to chisel into Yan Yi’s heart, leaving marks. It hurt. The chiseled powder fell, sprouting vines from the soil, entwining his feet, making him unable to move an inch. Yan Yi raised his hand, gently patting Xie Jinning’s head.
Time flowed quietly, the sobs gradually subsided, and the arms around his waist suddenly loosened. The boy’s head tilted, falling silent. Yan Yi supported Xie Jinning’s slumped body with one hand. Seeing his eyes closed, he thought the boy had fainted, his pupils constricted, but he relaxed upon hearing the steady breathing.
The boy’s fair face was wet, his nose and eyes tinged with a rosy hue, his cheeks flushed, looking more like he was drunk. Just a little, and he’s drunk? So delicate. A strand of black hair stuck to the porcelain-white neck, Yan Yi carefully brushed it aside. The moment his fingertip touched the cool skin, it felt like countless insects were gnawing.
With a sigh, he still covered it, wiping away the wet marks on Xie Jinning’s face. But his rough fingertips left a blush on the tender skin, like a bud in the frost and snow. The clean cotton handkerchief he had prepared came in handy, wiping the cheeks and neck clean. Yan Yi then scooped him up, carrying him into the room.
…
The night was deep and quiet, the bright moon hanging high. There was still a plate of roasted venison from the evening meal. Yan Yi had eaten too much, and the venison was hot in nature. He was already full of yang energy, feeling restless and uncomfortable. The desert seemed endless, with nothing but scorching, heavy yellow sand in sight. Each grain of sand radiated heat, and he felt like he was in a giant steamer.
After walking for who knows how long, there seemed to be a patch of green in the distance. Yan Yi, parched to the extreme, quickened his pace and ran towards it. Like an emerald embedded in the desert, as he got closer, he realized it wasn’t a cool pool of water but a patch of green grass. Lush green grass supported several thin veils, swaying in the wind. Inside, there seemed to be a figure, indistinct, perhaps a figment of his imagination.
Yan Yi, feeling extremely hot, broke through the layers of veils, entering directly, only to see a delicate, jade-like body. The beauty had her back to him, her black hair like a waterfall, covering her bare back, with purple finger marks faintly visible in the dark strands. Startled by the intrusion, the beauty gasped and turned to look back—
And there, a pair of eyes like autumn water gazed at him.