Xiao Xu’s eyes were sharp enough to hit a willow leaf at a hundred paces; naturally, he saw the tears welling in Xiao Liang’s eyes.
Moreover, Xiao Liang had no skill in hiding his thoughts. As he lowered his head to eat, tears spilled from his eyes—those that fell into his rice were fine, but those that struck the bowl or table made faint sounds.
Xiao Liang dared not look at Xiao Xu. In panic, he wiped his tears with the back of his hand and hurriedly shoveled food into his mouth. Crying and eating at once, after only a few bites, he choked, coughing violently, his face smeared with tears and snot.
Xiao Xu showed no intention of comforting him. Only after finishing the last bite in his bowl did he set down his chopsticks. Yet even then, he did not leave. His gaze, sharp and unyielding, fixed on Xiao Liang, as though disgusted by the noise that sullied the meal and disturbed his dining.
Understanding that their father wanted his younger brother to solve the problem himself, Xiao Yi sat upright and silent, pretending not to hear the sobs. But when the coughing grew harsher, as if Xiao Liang could not breathe, he could not help but pat his brother’s back.
“What’s the use of crying? Who taught you to meet disappointment with tears? Do you think you’re your foolish little sister, still ignorant at three years old? Or do you also wish to be a fool—forever helpless, knowing only how to cry and make a fuss?”
Xiao Xu’s words were cold. Because of Xiao Shan’s endless tears, he had already grown weary; now, seeing Xiao Liang cry, he found it utterly foolish.
Learning such useless habits from a younger sister.
A pity—childish tears might sway Lady Yu, but they held no power over him.
“Father, I was wrong… I didn’t want to cry…” Xiao Liang shook his head desperately. He knew his father disliked seeing them cry, but he simply could not hold it back. He thought eating would help, but instead it made him choke.
Xiao Xu glanced over his tear-stained face, then, before leaving, said to his eldest son: “Xiao Yi, keep your brother in line.”
“Father, rest assured. Second Brother only ate too quickly and choked. He is sensible and understands your words. We will not trouble Madam.”
After sending Xiao Xu off, Xiao Yi wiped his brother’s face and patted his back, only relaxing once he saw him breathe more easily.
The moment Xiao Xu left, Xiao Liang’s suppressed sobs burst forth. He looked at his elder brother with grievance: “Father was angry, wasn’t he? I didn’t want to cry, but I couldn’t help it…”
“Father won’t hold it against you. Just try harder next time, all right? You’re a big boy now—you should be able to hold back your tears.”
Knowing his brother’s heart was heavy, Xiao Yi comforted him while patting his back: “And don’t eat while crying. You’ll choke yourself sick.”
“I thought if I ate, I wouldn’t cry.”
But no matter how much food he stuffed into his mouth, the tears still came.
Xiao Liang sobbed as he pulled a grain of rice from his nose. “Big Brother, I’m so dirty… will you stop liking me too?”
His crying had almost ceased, but at that thought, fresh tears poured down uncontrollably.
“You only choked, that’s why rice got into your nose. And besides—you’re my brother. I will never think you’re dirty.”
Xiao Yi took Xiao Liang to wash his face. Once he saw him calm down and stop crying completely, he asked, “Are you full? Do you want to eat a little more?”
Xiao Liang shook his head. After a moment, he looked at Xiao Yi with pleading eyes: “I want to see Shan’er.”
The brothers exchanged glances. Xiao Yi knew Xiao Liang wanted not only to see his little sister, but also Mi Yao. Remembering their father’s warning, Xiao Yi led Xiao Liang back to their room. Once he confirmed they were alone, he instructed his younger brother: “Madam is our future mother. We must respect her and behave properly in her presence. But we are not her own children. She will have children of her own in the future. Shan’er is still young, so it’s different for her. But we are older now—if we also expect Madam to care for us, it will trouble her and cause her distress.”
“But…” Xiao Liang’s lips trembled, and tears threatened again. He knew his little sister was excused from rules because of her age, but he also longed for a mother to hold him, to smear fragrant balm on his cheeks.
“Big Brother, I miss Mother.” He had already forgotten his birth mother’s face, remembering only faintly how Grandmother held his sister. In the past, he tried to imagine his mother holding him, but no matter how he tried, he could not picture it. Until yesterday—when he dreamed of Mi Yao holding him. Only then did the image of a mother in his mind gain a face.
He knew Mi Yao was not his real mother. He knew she would bear children with Father, and when that happened, he would become nothing but a burden. Yet still, he longed for a mother’s embrace. Why did he not have a mother? If only he had one too.
Xiao Xu had scolded Xiao Liang openly in front of the Xiao household servants, so within less than an hour, Mi Yao heard the entire story from her side chamber. At such times, she felt the Xiao residence sorely needed a capable steward. If there were someone to manage the estate properly, the servants would keep to discipline and not spread idle gossip about their masters, and she would not have to hear of children suffering.
Though she disliked admitting it—even if they were little more than paper figures—hearing of children bullied by adults wielding authority still left her simmering with anger.
No wonder the three Xiao children lacked the bearing of young masters. Xiao Yi seemed better, but it was only a clumsy imitation of adulthood: appearing mature without true confidence, his manners merely the result of rote teaching rather than genuine poise.
“Brother-in-law seems to dislike Xiao Dalang and Erlang. He doesn’t want them troubling Sister, nor does he want Sister to waste effort caring for them.” After finishing her gossip, Yu Xiu spoke casually, hoping Mi Yao would take note of Xiao Xu’s dislike for Xiao Yi and his brothers, and thus avoid entangling herself with the three children in the future—especially the youngest.
(*) Dalang= the first son, Erlang= the second son.
Yu Xiu glanced at Xiao Shan, sitting on Mi Yao’s lap and nibbling on a pastry, and confirmed she was nothing but a little fool. Even hearing that her elder brother had been scolded to tears, she showed no reaction.
“Mm.” Mi Yao gave a soft reply. From her expression, it was unclear whether she agreed with Yu Xiu or simply did not care. But judging from her next action, it was obvious she did not care.
“Once you finish your pastry, shall we wash your hair?” Mi Yao rested her chin on the fluffy cap atop the little radish’s head and spoke as the thought came to her.
Though they were not face-to-face, the little radish knew the words were meant for her because Mi Yao felt her stiffen at once, even stopping halfway through her pastry.
Mi Yao turned the child around to face her. “I had thought to peek while you slept, to see why you always wear this cap. But that felt wrong. If I want to see your secret, I must have your consent.”
Watching the little radish clutch the brim of her cap tightly, Mi Yao decided—today, she would see it no matter what.
Problems with a child’s head could be serious or trivial, but surely Nanny Fan would not be so careless—dressing the child neatly, yet letting lice grow in her hair.
“Let me take a look, all right?”
Faced with Mi Yao’s request, Xiao Shan immediately shook her head.
After shaking, she glanced up at Mi Yao with caution, afraid she would grow angry and refuse to hold her anymore. But the thought of removing her cap made her purse her lips—both choices felt unbearably difficult.
Seeing the little radish’s eyes redden, Mi Yao quickly waved her hand: “I don’t want to see your head just to satisfy curiosity. I want to know if you need my help.”
The people of the Xiao household said Xiao Shan was mute because she was foolish, that she could not understand words, her mind no better than a one-year-old’s.
But Mi Yao believed Xiao Shan could understand. So she looked at her gently and spoke softly, as if negotiating: “You comb my hair every day. Don’t you want me to comb yours?”
Xiao Shan glanced at Mi Yao’s hair, shook her head—then, under Mi Yao’s tender gaze, nodded at last and loosened her grip on the cap’s brim.
Mi Yao did not remove the cap immediately. Instead, she pinched the child’s cheek and reassured her: “Don’t worry. No matter what, since I promised to let you come to me every day, I won’t go back on my word so easily.”
Originally, she had not wanted to become entangled with the people of the book. It was best if they kept to their own paths, never crossing.
But Xiao Shan was young, and for some reason, drawn to her. Since she had no good way to shake off this little radish, she decided to treat it like unlocking a side quest in a child-rearing game—keeping the radish by her side to pass the time. And if it were a child-rearing game, the child would, of course, be raised well.
Hearing Mi Yao’s promise, the little radish’s tense body relaxed. Her other hand, greasy from pastry, dared not touch anything else. So she held it awkwardly in the air while, with her free hand, she slowly pushed up her cap.
Seeing that the little radish was not hesitating but truly consenting, Mi Yao helped her remove the cap.
“Ah—how could it be like this…” Yu Xiu had been watching Mi Yao and Xiao Shan’s interaction all along. Seeing her elder sister treat Xiao Shan with such gentleness filled her with a sense of indignation—*why should she deserve it?* So when she saw the head beneath Xiao Shan’s cap, she deliberately let out a startled cry of amazement.
But Xiao Shan paid no attention to others. She only gazed steadily at Mi Yao. When Mi Yao reached out, she flinched for a moment, but upon seeing the warmth on Mi Yao’s face, she allowed her hand to rest upon her head.
“Quite adorable—like a dandelion.” Mi Yao’s lips curved into a smile as she rubbed the little radish’s fine, downy strands.
Xiao Shan’s hair was sparse and yellowed, with only a thin layer. On a middle-aged man, it would have been baldness, but on a three-year-old girl, it was strangely endearing. Her thin hair was like weightless fluff, drifting with the slightest breeze.
“Has someone told you this looks ugly?”
Seeing that Mi Yao did not despise her head, Xiao Shan grinned, showing a row of tiny teeth, and hugged Mi Yao’s hand, nodding vigorously.
“That’s because they don’t understand what beauty is. It’s like a little bird—when it’s just born, it has fine down all over its body. You’re the same. With time and care, you’ll grow to be like me.”
Hearing that she could become like Mi Yao, Xiao Shan’s eyes lit up. She carefully touched Mi Yao’s smooth hair, then reached up to feel her own.
“When I was little, I was much the same.”
Though Mi Yao did not know what the original self’s hair had been like at three years old, it did not stop her from coaxing the child.
Since she had promised to wash her hair, Mi Yao did not forget. She asked Shuang Hua to prepare hot water, rolled up her sleeves, and had Xiao Shan lie down so she could wash her hair herself. She truly liked the feel of Xiao Shan’s hair—tender, like the newborn fluff of an animal, fragile and soft.
Afraid the little radish would catch a cold, she quickly dried her hair afterward and wrapped it up.
With the absorbent cloth bundled around her head, Mi Yao rubbed her cheeks and teased: “Like a little bun.”
Being called a bun did not anger the little radish. She lay against Mi Yao’s hand, puffing out her cheeks with all her strength, making herself look even more like a plump, tender, obedient bun.