The next day, Yan Mu didn’t go to school with Yu Yuan.
“She didn’t go to school with you?” Father Yan looked at Yu Yuan, perplexed. Obviously, now was the first time he’d learned about this.
“…… Sorry to have bothered you.” Yu Yuan lowered his gaze to hide the emotion in his eyes.
“It’s alright, it’s alright.” At his words, Father Yan, who was prepared to go farming, asked with some worry, “Did you guys have an argument?”
Yu Yuan carefully thought about what had happened yesterday and shook his head with great certainty.
“Ah, then……” Father Yan was obviously a little at a loss by the current situation, “Maybe Yan Mu forgot.”
But even Father Yan himself didn’t really believe this reason, not to mention the sensitive and meticulous Yu Yuan.
“It’s alright.” Yu Yuan shook his head, “Uncle, I’ll be leaving now.”
After speaking, he turned around and left.
Yu Yuan realized he was actually now somewhat unused to not having a chatterbox by his side. He shook his head somewhat pathetically, trying to shake off the young girl’s silhouette in his mind.
Today’s sun seemed to be extraordinarily strong, and it wasn’t long before Yu Yuan was covered in sweat. His lips were pursed white and his steps were very fast.
The summer cicadas were crying in the trees. Yu Yuan listened, and feeling like they were extraordinarily loud today, he stopped and gave the tree a hard kick as if venting his anger.
The insects’ chirping paused and leaves fell all over his head as the surprised summer cicadas flapped their wings and flew away. Yu Yuan removed the leaves from his head and felt like his restless heart had eased a little.
He coldly snorted and quickened his pace towards the school.
*************
Yan Mu’s homework was praised by Teacher so she was in a very good mood.
She happily hummed and even the corners of her eyes and eyebrows were smiling. Yet without the sullen-faced Yu Yuan by her side, the male students around Yan Mu were ready to make their move.
“Yan Mu, do you know this?” One of them mustered up his courage and pointed to a spot in the textbook as he asked her.
Yan Mu’s current mood was quite good, so she patiently answered her classmates’ questions.
Right then, the school door was vigorously pulled open, making the atmosphere a little noisy, but things soon returned to being calm.
Yan Mu was chatting and laughing with someone else, so naturally, she ignored the noise. It wasn’t until someone sat down beside her and there was a cough that she looked up as if she’d just awoken from a dream.
“Yu Yuan? You’re here.” Yan Mu smiled at Yu Yuan, “Why are you coughing? Are you not feeling well?”
“…… I’m alright.” Yu Yuan felt inwardly relieved and waited for Yan Mu to continue speaking, only to see her turn back to speak with that male student again as if nothing had happened.
Yu Yuan froze.
Actually, he clearly knew that it was good for Yan Mu’s relationship with the other classmates to have improved. But Yu Yuan still felt irritated for no reason.
There was a feeling like something important to him was being coveted by others. And this made Yu Yuan feel extremely uncomfortable.
“Yan Mu.” So he started to talk, interrupting Yan Mu, “I’m thirsty.”
“Oh, okay.” Yan Mu nodded with confusion and turned to take her canteen from her school bag.
“Yu Yuan, why didn’t you bring your own water? Why do you want to drink Yan Mu’s!” The male student who had been talking to Yan Mu started to yell with displeasure after being repeatedly disturbed by Yu Yuan.
Yu Yuan didn’t answer. He took advantage of the moment Yan Mu turned around to fiercely glare at the male student. His gaze was fierce and cold, making the male student tremble in fear and obediently turn back around to study.
“Yu Yuan, here.” Yan Mu gave her canteen to Yu Yuan. She was just about to continue her conversation with the other male student when she saw that he’d already turned back.
She was about to reach out to poke the person’s back, but who would have thought that just as she reached out her hand, her sleeve was gently tugged by Yu Yuan.
“Yan Mu, I don’t understand this part.” Yu Yuan pointed towards a spot in the textbook.
“B-but yesterday, you clearly said that you understood everything.” Yan Mu secretly laughed in her heart, but she still had a confused look on her face.
“I don’t understand it again.” Yu Yuan calmly replied. Yan Mu sweetly smiled and leaned over to explain it to him seriously.
The fragrance of the young girl lingered on the tip of his nose. Yu Yuan felt like there was a fire burning in his heart when he recalled Yan Mu’s intimate look when she was talking to that male student.
He sullenly looked up and emptied the canteen in one gulp, as if he was taking revenge. Yan Mu seemed oblivious to his emotions and continued carefully explaining the difficult parts.
Yu Yuan felt even more annoyed inside.
“Today, I……” Yu Yuan lowered his head and sullenly said, “Today, I waited for you for a long time, but you didn’t come and find me.”
Yan Mu struggled to hold back her laughter and looked up, pretending to look innocent, “So you actually wanted to go to school with me, then I’ll go with you next time.”
“You’re treating me a little differently today.” Yu Yuan still kept his head down, but his voice was a little sulky.
“How so?” Yan Mu pressed down the corners of her mouth that had uncontrollably raised up, “Is it because I spoke to someone else today?”
“You……”
This question was stuck in Yu Yuan’s throat for a long time, unable to be spoken aloud.
“Forget it.” After a long moment of silence, Yu Yuan suddenly turned his head away somewhat pitifully.
Perhaps a girl as beautiful and brilliant as Yan Mu didn’t belong in the same world with him, who was as lowly as the dirt beneath one’s feet.
He lived relying on the charity of others, experienced all kinds of disdain and mockery, and owned nothing of his own. Yan Mu would only be ridiculed for being friends with him.
Yu Yuan sighed and felt a throbbing pain in his temples. He had lived in a muddle for sixteen years, and this was the first time he had something he wanted to fight for.
“……”
Sh*t. Yan Mu knew that she had gone overboard with her teasing.
When she went to bed last night, she’d thoroughly thought over Yu Yuan’s personality for a long time and finally understood his way of thinking.
Yu Yuan’s sixteen years of life were filled with darkness, abuse, and sorrow. So now, if someone suddenly showed him kindness, Yu Yuan’s first reaction wouldn’t be to accept, but to refuse and avoid.
After figuring out Yu Yuan’s thinking, Yan Mu felt distressed and sighed. But she couldn’t let him avoid her, so she decided on today’s scene.
Evidence has proven that occasional stimulation was beneficial for maintaining a stable relationship, but overstimulation would be bad.
Yan Mu hesitated for a while before reaching out to poke the teenager’s back. He shivered but didn’t turn around, like a stubborn little beast that was licking his wounds alone.
“Are you angry?” Yan Mu asked as she leaned over to look at Yu Yuan’s eyes, “I thought you hated me.”
The teenager’s indifferent eyes suddenly widened, and he blurted out, “What makes you think I hate you?”
Did someone say something to Yan Mu? Was it Zhang Goudan, or that male student just now?
Yu Yuan lowered his eyes to hide the surging emotion mixed with sharpness in them. He arched his back, like a beast that was ready to strike.
But in the next second, Yan Mu’s words laid waste to Yu Yuan’s intentions[1].
“Because you’re always avoiding me, and when I show you kindness, you always resist accepting it.” The girl faintly sighed with a hint of sadness on her face, “Anyone would be disheartened if that kept happening.”
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The author has something to say:
Tree/Cicadas: What did we do wrong????
[1] 破功 (pò gōng) – example of situations: Someone has persisted on doing something, but failed./Someone kept a secret for a long time but was exposed./ All efforts are wasted.