It’s Friday, and we’re off to town. Most of my reading materials have been geared towards language learning and writing, so I’m looking for some more specific knowledge. In a perfect world, I’d be able to obtain a detailed map of the region and world, a book on the basics of magic, and a book on the basics of swordsmanship.
I don’t know what I expected of a pre-electricity world, but this book shop is tiny. The sign in front just says “books,” and it only has three rows of bookcases. What’s truly perplexing is that the rotund man behind the counter isn’t tall enough to reach the top of these shelves. He must be hiding a ladder out of embarrassment.
“Master Alfred, do you know what types of books you’re looking for?” Mia asks after leading me through the doors.
One book on flying, one on getting my parents to leave me alone, and one that includes the world’s best hunting spots, but I can’t say that. “Hmm, I want an introduction to magic and swordcraft, then I want the most detailed geographical account of the area or world that can be found.”
Mia stops and looks down at me, suspicion rolling off of her. “That’s quite specific... did you really have to go shopping yourself when you already knew what you wanted?”
“Yes, I need Mother and Father to spend more time alone together!”
“Are you upset with them?”
I shake my head, then slowly bring a hand to my chin, and feign pondering. “Not at all, but my cousins said before any of their siblings were born that my Uncle and Aunt spent a lot of time together alone. I’m almost four, and I don’t have any siblings, so I must be interfering somehow...”
Mia chuckles and strokes the top of my head. “Baha, Master Alfred, have you asked your parents about having a younger brother or sister?”
“Not yet, but if alone time worked for my Uncle and Aunt, I’m sure it will work on my parents as well!”
I haven’t forgotten how babies are made, but actions speak louder than words. Once we’re done shopping, Mia will talk to my parents and say that book shopping was an excuse to get them alone together because that’s how I think babies are made. They’ll be overcome by their child’s consideration and fuck until Monday.
“Master Alfred, I think it’s worth talking to them about.”
I hum for a moment and look up at Mia.
“If Mother doesn’t gain weight soon, I will. My cousins said girls have to gain weight before they have a baby, so I’ll keep a close eye on her.”
“Let’s hope your plan works.” Mia scans the bookshelves, then stops and looks down at me. “Introductions to magic and swordcraft will be in any shop; the harder find is detailed geography. Though the store may have some sort of map.”
“A map would help, maybe supplemented by a travel account..."
“I’ll ask the shopkeeper, one moment, Master Alfred.”
Introduction to magic and swordcraft, plus a rough map of the continent we’re on- this isn’t a bad haul when I really just want my parents to make my replacement -ahem, I mean a sibling who I’ll love and cherish. Hopefully, my parents get busy over the weekend, and I can flip through these books.
***
My family tends to be early risers, but the only ones moving around the house are Shayna and me.
“Hey Shayna, have you seen Father and Mother?”
Shayna stops and gives me a lovely smile. “Apologies, Master Alfred, they said they’d be sleeping in this morning.”
Damn, I’m good; replacement- ahem, sibling- is surely being made today. I return to my room and flip open the magic book.
“Magic is created in the body, and when moved into… blah blah... wind, fire, water, ice, lightning, and earth. It is incompatible with most objects and will cause them to break when infused.”
Hmm, I’m a bit skeptical of that last part. I’ve been infusing my body with magic forever, and it’s only made me stronger and more durable. But I can test this.
I retrieve the wooden sword Father gifted me after I came home with a book on swordsmanship and close my eyes. The glowing energy that runs through me moves into my hands, then up to my fingertips.
It seeps into the handle, then flows to the deepest part of the sword. A fine line of magic runs down the center, forming its core. I send more lines, making a circle around the initial line, then repeat the process until I’m bored.
No explosion. I hold the wooden sword up to my face, but it still doesn’t look impressive. I reach under my bed and retrieve the nipple slicer, then press it into the sword.
Around the handle, the edge of the blade, and finally at the tip where it should be weak, but it doesn’t leave a scratch.
Got it, books on magic suck. Take everything with a grain of salt.
Let’s see... there's the danger of magical infusion – skip. Elemental magic – skip, I can’t practice this stuff until I can go outside alone, or I might blow up the estate. Rare magics and affinities - hoho, this is the one I want.
Rare magics include healing magic, knew that already, and temporary spatial storage magic? They’ve got fucking item box??? How have I not seen this before now?
I flip the page, but the explanation stops after mentioning the magic. What a shitty book.
But there’s one more useful section.
“Affinities: magic users specialize in one or two elements and typically know which ones early in their training. If you haven’t used elemental magic before, close your eyes and try to imagine yourself holding that element in your hand.”
Easy enough, eyes shut and imagination on.
Ball of water!
Lightning!
Earth!
Fire!
Ice!
Wi-
FOOOSH
THUD
Holy tits.
My shitty book is across the room, and it looks like a tornado came through here. And… balls. There’s a crack in the mirror. Repair magic would come in real handy, but that’s asking for a lot.
I hope my parents are banging… enough siblings and I’ll be able to sneak out to blow up mountains with magic. Guess I’ll make do with the sword for now.