After two months, I took back the reins, I had to, or they would’ve done me the fuck in, and Ginger Lee was the worst of the two.
That little filly can crack nuts with the best of them.
I don’t think, though, that we would’ve made it this far if all we had going for us was in the bedroom.
I had genuinely grown to love my little wild child, but I felt bad about what I was doing to Cindy, though she was the one that refused to let go.
I got something from both of them and was freaked the fuck out in the beginning when I realized I had feelings for both of them.
I’m an old conventional guy.
I never knew that such a thing was possible.
I had no blueprints to follow, and the town was wizening up to what we had going on.
Then Law’s family had been murdered, and there was a lot of shit going on at the sheriff’s office.
It was the murder of a good man and his wife and child that had prompted my boy Brandon and me to really look at our boss.
We’d known since joining the office that he was shady; there had been rumors for years.
But that was the first time we’d been hit with the realization of how far he would go for the man who had him in his pocket.
We got together with Law in secret nightly meetings and came up with a plan.
Law’s mind wasn’t on anything but vengeance back then, but with all the whispers and disgruntlement going around, Brand and I put on our thinking caps.
I had to put my personal drama aside and help my friend.
Like everyone else, I had benefited at one time or another from the kindness of his mother or father.
Mr.
Daniels had always had a sympathetic ear, and his wife was always ready with a cookie and a warm hug when we were kids.
I’m not sure we’d intended to start our own MC.
There wasn’t a chapter in our neck of the woods, but we did have men who rode for the fun of it and some who were members of clubs in other parts of the state.
There were more than enough men by then who wanted to join forces with Law, even though he didn’t have any interest.
But I saw the potential for the future and knew we needed this.
The only stipulation Law made when we brought it to him was that we weren’t to be beholden to anyone else.
Meaning we answered to no one, which was easy since there were no other clubs here.
Of course, that didn’t last long, and as soon as word got out about what we were doing, a couple assholes had tried to horn in.
After they didn’t accept our word that we weren’t interested in the usual MC fare of drug running, gun smuggling, or any of the other fucked up shit some of them do to give the rest of us a bad name, we ended up, under Law’s orders, fucking their shit up.
As an ex-lawman, it took me a while to get with the way Law did things.
He was in soldier mode back then and still is to some degree, but those first days and months were the roughest.
Brand and I moved from town to the ranch to keep an eye on Law and Kyle.
I still had a house in town where Ginger was staying because it didn’t make sense for her to get her own place here.
Cindy wasn’t too happy at first, but she learned to live with it, though I thought I would shit a brick the first time she pushed to come to dinner.
Ginger threw a fit when I told her Cindy was coming over.
Up until then, that had been her territory; Cindy had never been to my house.
I think Ginger thought I was bringing Cindy home to finally fuck her, which would’ve been a fucked up thing to do.
Now I don’t know what Cindy thought was going on with Ginger Lee and me every night, with her sleeping under my roof.
But in the two months this had been going on, I hadn’t touched Cindy.
I’m pretty sure now that Ginger Lee would’ve castrated my ass if I’d tried.
I really didn’t know what the fuck I’d found myself in, but it couldn’t go on.
I realized that although I really liked Cindy, I was head over heels in love with Ginger, but the guilt over leaving Cindy was eating away at me.
That evening I’d sat their asses down and told them to work their shit out because I was done playing games.
I let it be known that I wasn’t going to be used by one to hurt the other, and I think that was the first time they really got it.
The situation was fucked up; however, you looked at it, but I think I knew the answer all along.
I was fucking Ginger Lee, after all, when I wasn’t doing so much as kissing Cindy goodnight. The source of this chapter is g.com.
After moving out to the ranch, I shared my little tale of woe with Law, Brand, and Kyle.
Those fucks, instead of helping, laughed their asses off and started taking bets.
I remember the day it all came to a head.
I had gone into town to see about Ginger Lee because she wasn’t feeling well.
Cindy was at the house when I got there.
Funnily enough, it’s the only time the two of them got along when they’re both on the rag.
Not so funny is the fact that they choose that time to discuss me and every fuck that’s wrong with me.
That day I wasn’t in the mood for their shit, so I just bought out the pharmacy as usual and headed back to the house.
***
I guess it was the way I was making a fuss over Ginger Lee that finally brought it home for Cindy.
She pulled me aside after I’d dosed my girl with pain meds.
“You really love her, don’t you?”
“I’ve told you that I do.” She got quiet there for a while, and I felt those old stirrings of guilt.
The guys had told me to just end it with her, but they didn’t understand; she had to be the one to end it.
I think she always knew when I never pushed to get her into my bed and was practically living with Ginger Lee.
But I did it for her pride, I guess, and maybe in some small way, for my conscience.
I did have feelings for her, but by then, I knew I was in love with Ginger Lee.
“I guess you must think I’m a fool, the way I’ve tried to hang onto you all these months even with her here.”
“I would never think that, Cindy.
The situation is messed up no matter how you look at it, as is usual with us; the timing sucks.”
“But you love her.”
“Yes, yes I do; I’m sorry that hurts you; I never meant to, but we both know we can’t keep doing this.”
“So I guess this is it, huh?” I would’ve done anything to take that hurt out of her voice and the pain from her eyes.
I think that was the lowest point of my life, to know that I had hurt someone who was so special to me.
After that day, we were passing acquaintances; too much had happened for us to be real friends, I guess, and the fact that Cindy started to actively despise Ginger Lee would’ve made it damn near impossible.