Before Asagiri could even open his mouth to reply, Asuna let out a soft, knowing sigh.
“Ah, I know, I know.
You must have already looked this up and found the information yourself, right?”
Asagiri nodded in solemn agreement, his expression shifting into a mask of absolute righteousness.
“Asuna, I am actively cultivating your ability as a Player to independently analyze intelligence.
This is all for the sake of your personal growth.
You should be grateful for the painstaking effort I, the Emperor, have invested in you.”
“Did you seriously just call yourself the Emperor?” Asuna muttered, giving him a deadpan look of her own.
“Are you running a dictatorship in your head?”
She tucked a stray strand of chestnut hair behind her ear, her tone turning serious as she reviewed her findings.
“However, according to the lore I dug up online, the truth behind that game revolves around illegal experiments on mental patients.
The final boss is actually a advanced swarm of nanotech robots.
It isn’t a supernatural horror game filled with Evil Spirits or ghosts.
And…” She hesitated, a slight shiver catching in her throat.
“…there certainly isn’t a three-meter-tall, blood-soaked orderly roaming the halls.
It seems the dungeon generated by that app, while heavily based on the real-world game, isn’t a perfect one-to-one replica.”
“Exactly,” Asagiri said, leaning back against his chair.
“Assuming you know everything just because you read a wiki is a quick way to get killed.
Maintaining absolute caution and never acting overly clever is a mandatory quality for any Player.”
“Oh, right…
about that…” Asuna’s hands, resting on her lap, clenched slightly against the fabric of her skirt.
She gathered her courage, her eyes darting away for a fraction of a second.
“That app with the glasses icon…
it doesn’t seem to have a built-in function to message other Players.”
“Yeah,” Asagiri agreed without missing a beat.
“It’s a massive design flaw.
Terribly inconvenient.”
Asuna paused.
She offered two light, deliberate coughs into her fist, dropping the most obvious hint she could muster.
“Um…
have you ever heard of LINE?”
“Of course I know it.” Asagiri smiled, his tone entirely too casual.
“Just the other day, a few girls from our grade came up during lunch break to ask for my contact info.”
Asuna’s posture stiffened by a millimeter.
“Then why didn’t you give it to them?
Were they not pretty enough?”
“Not at all.
They were actually quite cute, but…” Asagiri trailed off, his expression suddenly shifting into one of grave, solemn duty.
“As a Player, how could I recklessly pull out my phone in front of a crowd?
What if one of them was secretly a Player too, and they spotted the glasses icon on my home screen?
The risk was too high.
I had no choice but to cruelly and mercilessly reject them on the spot!”
Then, her brain caught up with his logic.
“Wait, hold on.
That makes no sense.
Couldn’t you have just dictated your email address or phone number to them?”
Asagiri shook his head slowly, tapping a finger against his temple with a tragic sigh.
“I have a terrible memory.
I simply can’t remember my own email address or phone number.
It’s a medical tragedy.”
A heavy, deadpan silence stretched between them for several seconds.
Asuna stared flatly at his face.
“That is the lamest excuse I have ever heard.”
“Oh?
You saw through my flawless deception?”
“A golden retriever could see through it!
So, what, you actually used that terrible excuse to reject those girls?”
“Of course not.
I am a man who values absolute honesty and bluntness,” Asagiri said smoothly.
“I just looked them in the eye and told them I didn’t want to give it to them.”
“Oh.
I see…”
For some inexplicable reason, a small flutter of warmth bloomed in Asuna’s chest.
Hearing that Asagiri hadn’t bothered to entertain those girls with excuses, but had instead firmly and decisively shut them down, put her in a surprisingly good mood.
A faint, irrepressible smile tugged at the corners of her lips.
She leaned forward just a fraction, her voice softening.
“Then…
do you have a specific type of girl you like?”
“Naturally.”
“What kind?” she pressed, her amber eyes bright with expectant curiosity.
Meeting her eager gaze, Asagiri adjusted his posture and spoke with deep, philosophical earnestness.
“Her character must possess unique, radiant qualities.
There must be a deep, obvious soul connection between us…”
Asuna blinked, pleasantly surprised.
She hadn’t expected his standards for a girlfriend to be so remarkably normal and romantic.
But before that heartwarming thought could fully settle in her mind, Asagiri plowed straight ahead without taking a breath.
“, she must have an exceptional figure and a cute, exquisite face.
She needs to be willing to change into a different sexy outfit every single night to spend joyous, fulfilling times with me.
The schedule is strict: black stockings on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays; white stockings on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays; and fishnets on Sundays.
Preferably, she would also commit to a weekly themed cosplay rotation.
For example, playing the role of a gentle, devoted maid waiting for her master to return home on Monday, a cold and strict office lady wearing glasses on Tuesday, a shy, hesitant shrine maiden on Wednesday, a sexy and charming bunny girl on Thursday, and so on…”
“Stop, stop, stop!
Please, just stop talking!” Asuna couldn’t take another second of it.
She threw her hands up, cutting off his degenerate monologue.
“I asked you about the type of girl you like!
I didn’t ask you to…
to sit there and unleash your deranged fantasies on me!”
“Ah, my mistake.
I understand now,” Asagiri nodded sagely.
Then, with a perfectly straight face, he delivered a line that made Asuna’s brain short-circuit entirely.
“In that case, you should work hard and do your absolute best to meet my standards.
Oh, and for the record, the black and white stockings need to be the ultra-sheer kind that show the skin underneath.
None of that thick, opaque pantyhose nonsense.
That completely ruins the sex appeal.”
“Who—who in their right mind would ever wear something like that for you?!” Asuna shrieked, her embarrassment hitting critical mass.
She was half a second away from storming out or throwing something at his head, but Asagiri’s next movement instantly defused the bomb.
He calmly pulled his smartphone from his pocket, gave it a light shake, and flashed her a small, genuine smile.
“Let’s exchange LINE IDs and phone numbers.”
“Huh?” Asuna blinked, the whiplash nearly snapping her neck.
“Oh.
Oh, okay…”
The furious embarrassment that had been boiling over just a moment ago vanished into thin air, entirely neutralized by his smooth pivot.
Murmuring a soft agreement, she hurriedly fished out her own phone, tapping the screen to swap numbers and LINE contacts with him.
“Alright, business is concluded.
Let’s get some food in our stomachs.
Are you eating?” Asagiri asked.
He walked over to a cardboard box sitting beside the refrigerator and pulled out two large cups of instant noodles.
Asuna stared at the processed food, a delicate frown creasing her forehead.
“Is this what you usually eat at home?”
“Not usually.
I mostly rely on convenience store bentos or takeout,” Asagiri explained, setting the cups on the counter.
“But tonight is different.
As soon as the clock strikes midnight, we could be dragged into a death game dungeon at any second.
If I eat a bento or order takeout right now, there is a non-zero statistical probability of consuming stale ingredients or getting food poisoning.
Having diarrhea while running for my life would severely impact my survival rating.
Therefore, highly processed, sterile instant noodles are the safest tactical choice.”
“You can’t just eat instant noodles before something that important, either…” Asuna sighed, shaking her head at his bizarre, paranoid pragmatism.
She stood up from her seat and walked over to the entryway.
Slipping her feet back into her small leather shoes, she tapped her toes gently against the floorboards to secure them.
When she looked back at him, her previous exasperation had melted into a remarkably gentle, domestic smile.
“How about this?
Tell me what kind of dishes you like.
I’ll go out to the supermarket right now and buy fresh ingredients, and then I’ll cook a proper meal for you myself.
That way, you won’t have to worry about any tactical food poisoning.”
[Inorin’s Note:
Hey guys, hope you’re enjoying the novel!
Hate waiting for updates and cliffhangers?