Night in a narrow alley in a crowded neighborhood.
Ali sat on the porch of his rented house.
The porch was only about a meter and a half square.
The plastic chair under him was cracked on one leg.
He had to shift a little to the right so he wouldn’t fall.
The sound of a television from the neighbor’s house could be heard faintly.
A cheap gossip show.
A dangdut singer laughed on the screen.
A baby’s crying from the house in front wouldn’t stop.
The smell of a clogged sewer spread from the drain in front of the porch.
All those sounds and smells mixed together.
Ali stared at the cigarette butt in his fingers.
The fire was almost reaching his fingertips.
Only a little tobacco left.
His rough, black skin from being soaked in brackish water so often was used to heat.
He inhaled deeply.
Hot smoke stung his lungs.
From inside the house, he heard the sound of plastic plates being put on a wooden table.
That sound belonged to Jum, his wife.
Jum appeared at the doorway with her hair tied up haphazardly with a rubber band.
Some strands had come loose and fallen onto her face.
In her hand she held an empty plastic baby bottle.
“The grocery money isn’t enough to buy even two kilos of rice, Bang Ali!
The baby’s formula is also gone.
And the price went up again at the shop at the front of the alley.
Can’t you see for yourself?”
Ali didn’t answer Jum’s chatter.
He could only close his eyes.
His mind drifted to the market this morning, where Pak Haji Duloh had cut his fish price by almost half.
The reason was poor quality, plus supply was still plentiful, he said.
“Be patient, Jum.
The water downstream is red again.
The fish are dizzy from factory waste.”
“Patient all the time?” Jum stepped onto the porch, putting her hands on her hips, her eyes seemed to blaze.
“I ran into Mpok Lela earlier.
She said Anom has even started paying off his debt.
Even though Anom owed her a lot, now it’s already half paid off.
Mpok Lela said Anom’s catch is also good quality.
Why can he get top grade stuff, Bang?
Your fishing spot is wider than Anom’s.
Your equipment is even more complete than his.
But that homeless guy is more successful than you?”
“Anom’s just lucky right now, Jum.
Maybe he found a spot with good current.” Ali answered briefly.
“Lucky for a whole week straight?” Jum snorted.
“People at the market are whispering too, Bang.
They say Anom has a new charm.
His new helper, they say she might be his lucky charm.
Since she showed up, every fish Anom touches becomes expensive.”
Jum paused for a moment to catch her breath.
“You have eyes, Bang.
Look at that girl.
Her appearance alone is different from us.
Why can Anom, who sleeps under the toll road, have a woman like that, while we who have a rented house are getting poorer?”
Ali didn’t answer.
He was probably used to his wife’s attitude.
All he could do was throw the cigarette butt into the drain.
…
Morning before the sun touched the asphalt, Ali was already standing at the side of the toll road.
Right above the spot where Anom usually fished.
He wore a jacket with the hood pulled low, covering his face.
Ali stood behind a concrete pillar of the pedestrian bridge.
His eyes focused below, at Anom’s fishing spot.
From a distance, Ali saw Anom getting ready.
He watched.
There was nothing special to him about Anom with his shorts and patched nylon net.
But Ali’s attention locked onto another figure.
The girl, sitting at the edge of the pitch-black canal water.
With a thin shirt clinging to her body.
Her silhouette was too perfect for a homeless person under the toll road.
Inem let her feet soak in the oily water.
Her clear eyes stared straight at the current.
Ali sharpened his vision.
Inem just moved her fingertips gently and slowly parted the surface of the black water.
Not long after, Anom’s net lifted.
The fish inside looked very clean with shiny silver scales, still flopping wildly.
Ali was a little startled, his hand gripping the concrete of the pillar as he watched Inem just sitting there silently.
But every time Anom’s net touched the water near where Inem was, the fish seemed drawn by an invisible magnet.
Ali didn’t see magic.
He saw injustice.
In his eyes now, it was clear that Inem was a living charm.
That girl made the dirty river obey Anom.
She even brought good fortune.
Good fortune that should have been Ali’s.
“Damn it.” Ali’s voice trembled.
“He really does have a living lucky charm.”
Ali came down from the pedestrian bridge.
Then hurried away with fast steps.
Along the way, his mind spun.
To his wife Jum’s face that was always frowning.
His business competition logic turned toward a dark path.
A messy Anom got a miracle just by picking up a girl from the riverbank.
Ali felt he deserved that luck much more.
…
When he got back home, Jum was already waiting on the porch.
Her eyes scanned Ali’s empty hands.
“So?
Found the secret yet?
Or did you just take a morning walk wasting time again?”
Ali didn’t answer.
He went into the room.
A thin mattress smelling musty.
He lay down.
Staring at the ceiling.
He imagined Inem’s silhouette by the river earlier.
Envy metamorphosed into a plan that couldn’t even be spoken yet.
But it had already taken deep root in his heart.
“Inem is the key,” Ali whispered to himself.
“If she’s not there, Anom is nothing.”
Jum followed Ali into the room.
…
She stood in front of her husband, still with her hands on her hips, wearing a thin loose housedress with the strap on her left shoulder clearly slipped down, showing a bit of her neck.
“So just silent?
Just lying around?” Jum looked at Ali with annoyance.
“I didn’t marry a lazy person.”
Ali looked at his wife.
Jum who used to be beautiful.
Even though she still was actually.
The road dust and debt payments hadn’t completely stolen that beauty.
He stood up from the mattress.
His steps approached Jum.
Then his right hand grabbed his wife’s waist a little roughly.
Jum stepped back a little in surprise.
“What are you doing, Bang?
I’m being serious here!”
“I’m serious too.” Ali’s voice was hoarse.
He kissed Jum’s lips a little hurriedly, even hungrily.
Jum was silent for a moment, her shrill mouth now quiet, and she even returned Ali’s kiss.
Her hand went up to the back of her husband’s neck.
“Damn,” Jum whispered between kisses.
“Only this kind of work you do right.”
Ali squeezed Jum’s bottom under the thin housedress.
Jum moaned softly.
“Inside,” Ali whispered.
“The room’s small.
Lots of stuff.” Jum smiled.
“The bathroom then.”
Ali pulled Jum’s hand.
They passed through the middle room full of stacked cardboard boxes.
Ali’s rented house bathroom was about one square meter.
With a squat toilet on the floor and a green plastic bucket in the corner.
A five-watt LED light was still on.
Ali entered first.
Jum followed.
Even though the door couldn’t close properly because the hinges were loose.
They didn’t seem to care.
Ali turned Jum around.
Facing the wall.
Then he flipped up the thin housedress.
His lips immediately went to the right side of her upper body, while his left hand gently stroked her center, and Jum immediately sighed.
“Hurry up, Bang.
Afraid the oldest will wake up.”
Ali didn’t answer.
His shorts came off.
Jum opened her legs a little.
Her left hand braced on the tub while her right hand pressed against the wall.
Ali pushed from behind, making Jum bite her lip.
Even though Jum didn’t make a sound, there was still a long sigh.
Ali moved fast even though the cramped bathroom felt hotter, smelling of cheap soap and dripping tap water.
Jum bowed her head until her forehead almost touched the rim of the plastic tub.
“Bang…
don’t go slow.
Hurry up.”
Ali sped up.
He closed his eyes.
But damn it, what came to mind wasn’t his wife Jum.
He imagined another woman.
The woman at the edge of the black water.
Yes, Inem.
The woman with clear eyes and a body too perfect for a homeless person under the toll road.
Ali gritted his teeth with a little emotion, he pushed Jum harder, until Jum moaned.
His nails even scratched Jum’s hip a little.
“Damn,” Jum cursed.
“So strong today.
Bang.”
Ali didn’t answer.
He kept moving until his body tensed.
One long breath.
Then he went limp.
They were both silent for a moment, their breathing chasing each other.
Jum then turned around, her face still sweating.
“Done?”
Ali nodded.
“Be gentle when you hold,” Jum fixed her thin housedress.
“You’ll tear the clothes.
Buy new ones with what money?”
Ali smiled slightly, didn’t answer, just washed his face with water from the bucket.
“Tomorrow I’ll catch more fish.”
“Empty talk.” Jum walked out.
“Tomorrow will be the same.
Next month will be the same.
I know.”
…
In the living room, Jum had already lain down on the thin mattress.
Facing away from Ali.
Her shoulders rose and fell slowly.
Ali sat on the edge of the mattress.
A new cigarette was lit and smoke rose to the ceiling full of leak stains.
His mind went back to this morning where Inem was at the edge of the black water.
And seeing Anom’s net always full.
Ali could even imagine the money in Anom’s pocket growing.
He closed his eyes to the two shadowy figures that appeared alternately.
Jum, his wife with her sour face and moaning lips in the bathroom earlier.
And the hand that had squeezed her shoulder in that cramped space.
Jum was his home.
Even though the home leaked, was cramped, always lacking.
But Jum was Ali’s home.
Then Inem with her clear eyes.
Fingers that seemed able to part water.
But Inem’s body was too perfect for a homeless person under the toll road.
Inem wasn’t like home.
In his eyes, Inem was luck or maybe a way out.
Ali opened his eyes.
“Envy is a sin,” he muttered softly.
“But an empty stomach is also a sin.”
Jum didn’t answer as Ali unknowingly muttered.
Maybe Jum was already asleep or maybe pretending to sleep.
Ali smoked until the cigarette was gone.
He put out the butt on the dirt floor.
He couldn’t choose between Jum and Inem.
But envy had already chosen for him.
Tomorrow he would go back to that spot under the toll road.
To do something about this situation, even though he didn’t know what yet.
But his hand that had squeezed Jum’s waist in the bathroom, that same hand might reach for something else.
He lay down next to Jum.
Hugged her.
But with his eyes still open.