I'm Ichirou! Nice to meet you all. I practice kendo as a sport! I'm a university law student! My dream is to become a lawyer and defend the people in the name of justice!
After the shocking revelation about our death and the vacuum particles, the atmosphere remained strangely heavy, but Ichirou-kun's initiative broke the ice.
Violetta-san seemed to care very little about the solemnity of the moment.
In fact, she and King Fon were enjoying watching us.
Seriously... shouldn't we be taking this a little more seriously?
“Before being dragged into this world, I was getting ready to put on my kendo equipment when suddenly… Yes, I think someone hit me hard on the head with a shinai or some mysterious object that I didn’t even see where it came from, and then I saw that strange light… Was that what killed me…?”
Ichirou-kun blinked, scratching the back of his neck in bewilderment. The king stared at him in astonishment.
Alright, let the games begin... [What kind of face does the king make at such absurdity?!]
The next to stand up is the woman with large breasts. The king stares at her. No, he's definitely not looking at her breasts (total lie).
“I’m Baccara-san. I won’t say anything about what I do in our world. But unlike most of the virgins here, I have a ton of experience in bed!~”
“Virgins, you say!?”
Kouta-kun's otaku exclaims instantly.
"Yeah, yeah, you reek of a typical virgin who just plays with his hand! I, unlike you, don't have those frustrations."
“¡Ugh...!”
¡Huehuehue!
This talk is definitely for people over eighteen.
For some reason, King Fon huffs softly, trying to stifle a laugh, and now looks at Baccara-san with a mixture of pity and amusement. After that little catfight, it's Rose-san's turn.
“Nice to meet you all. I’m Rose...”
"Wait, you're not a student in the middle of a gym class when your soul was summoned, are you?"
“Please don’t make fun of me! I’m a physical education teacher and I’m already twenty-seven years old!”
She blurted out her age without anyone asking!
What? Twenty-seven?
A teacher? You don't look like one.
"Hoh, you seem like the typical type of teacher whose students enjoy intimacy~."
"Please don't say it like that...! Ugh, the dodgeball trauma is coming back to me!"
Ah...
Mito-kun mocks her with a sneer, making fun of her appearance. Although, to be honest, he looks rather cute doing it.
"Well, I'll let it slide because of our situation, but you'd better be strict with the brats if you plan on going back to being a homeschool teacher... It's not healthy for women to get too stressed, you know? Besides, our street-punk reputation would be ruined, so show them who's boss."
"...Mito-kun, deep down you're very kind and considerate, aren't you?"
"Haah?! Are you an idiot or what?! Why the hell are you calling me nice?! I... I'm a street punk, damn it! So I hate teachers like you!"
¡Huehuehue!
When Rose-san gave him a radiant smile after saying that, Mito-kun turned bright red and panicked! Seeing such a supposedly tough guy get shy is priceless.
It seems King Fon is having a blast watching us try to distract ourselves from the harsh reality of being dead.
“I’m Mito Akai! Remember that name! I’m a super dangerous punk, you hear?! Although… thinking about how I ended up here… I was helping an old lady cross the street, but a damn truck came hurtling towards us! So all I did was push the poor old woman with all my might to save her… and, well, suddenly everything went black and I don’t remember anything else… Did that damn truck send me to the other side…?”
"Mito-kun exclaimed resentfully. What a street hero!"
"Mito-kun! Mito-kun! Were you really such a street hero? Hehehe!"
"Don't keep repeating my name, you old hag! And stop staring at me like that, it's embarrassing!" "Mito-kun is so cute!"
Another one of those heartwarming exchanges ensued. It was quite a touching moment. The king watched them with a completely relaxed expression.
At least it seems we've already found some compatible people within this group of deceased.
Haha...
They've become very close in record time.
At this very moment, Mito-kun is stretching Rose-san's cheeks as if they were dough.
Mito-kun, for goodness sake, stop calling her "old hag." Violetta-san just shuddered at the mere mention of the word. It seems to be a sensitive subject for her.
"Well, well... I guess it's my turn. Please call me Kouta-kun! I'm a proud otaku! But at the same time, I'm also an active-duty soldier!"
"Soldier? Military? A hardcore otaku like you?!"
"Hehehe! For your information, we come from a prestigious military family! My grandfather was a general, you know?! And about how I died... well, I was peacefully watching anime in my mansion in Europe when out of nowhere the PC started sparking, and it literally exploded along with the whole damn mansion! Tell me that space explosion blew me all the way here...?"
Baccara-san gave him a crooked and bitter smile at such an anecdote.
“I’m Mana-san. Warm greetings to everyone. I was working overtime at the office all night, felt a brutal fatigue in my chest, and suddenly collapsed unconscious in front of my monitor… And when I woke up, I was already here. I guess overwork really does kill you, huh…?”
That was so depressing!
Out of nowhere, the atmosphere became gloomy and depressing because of him!
Nobody dared to ask him any more questions.
King Fon and Violetta-san exchanged a sidelong glance and nodded cautiously. It seemed they had all drawn an invisible line regarding which topics to discuss and which to avoid.
"Now, Shun-kun, what were you doing when you got dragged into this?"
“I was about to make 30 billion yen on the online stock exchange… but just as I was about to hit enter, my computer exploded in my face with a giant burst of flame out of nowhere. I guess the digital stock market is more lethal than I thought, huh…?”
Huh? Seriously, this NEET died from an exploding PC?
I'm so tired I don't even feel like thinking about it anymore.
Without a doubt, he is the most scandalous case of all. The king, however, looks at him with a rather pleased expression.
It seems that Ichirou-kun almost falls and enters the typical round of: "What the hell...?".
“Dreg-san, here present”
“Oh, Dreg-san, what were you doing before you were taken from your world?”
"I was feeding a koala cub we had rescued from the clutches of poachers. I am the head of the environment and wildlife department in our rescue team."
No way!
I keep falling into the trap of judging people by their appearance!
One way or another, we ended up bringing together a lot of extremely important and influential people in this group.
The king kept his face impassive, though it was obvious he was perplexed. Oh, now it's the twins' turn.
“We are the Murayama twins! Shouko and Shouta! We are professional exorcists from a Temple~!”
"And what were they doing just before they were summoned?"
““.....””
Don't stay silent like that!
And definitely don't blush!
That leads to terrible misunderstandings, you know?!
Even Ichirou-kun has a bad feeling when he remembers the previous trauma of finding out that Shouta-chan used to be a boy.
Before they could panic, Ichirou-kun sped in to divert attention! Well played, Ichirou-kun!
“Hey! Ruri-chan! Please introduce yourself!”
“Hello, hello everyone! I’m Ruri-chan! You might also know me as your favorite local idol, you know?!”
"And what were you doing...?"
“Giving a beating to some street punks!”
“What…? What?!”
“Giving the punks what they deserve!”
Oh...?
The king's jaw looks like it's going to dislocate from the shock. Beating up punks? Well, you could believe it coming from the hulking Dreg-san. But a teen idol?
"Wait... what kind of idol does such things?"
"I'm a delinquent idol, you idiot!"
But what on earth is that absurd category supposed to be?!
Are you trying to do comedy in the middle of an existential crisis or what?
And let me guess, you died fighting angry punks!?
I'm mentally drained from processing so much nonsense. Of course, no one dared question her strange answer. Beside her is the apathetic boy, who is technically still half-dead or in his own world. Ichirou-kun cautiously approached to call him over.
“Ejem… Susanoo-san…?”
Is his name Susanoo? What a pretentious and dangerous name!
Ah, upon hearing his name, he finally opened his eyes lazily.
“Good... morning... Susanoo... present... ugh...”
“Su-Susanoo-san, excuse me… what were you doing before they brought you here?”
"Ah... I had just finished a little assassination job..."
"Wait... what exactly do you mean by that?"
"I'm... a professional hitman, you know... I get paid to send people to the other side... oh, actually, I just collected my 324th victim, you know?"
The king turned pale instantly. I turned even paler. Everyone in the room was petrified.
Huh...?
I sat next to the most bloodthirsty and dangerous criminal in this whole damn group?!
The king kept his eyes fixed on me, looking at me with the same desperation with which an older brother watches his little sister about to be devoured by a lion.
I'm terrified to the bone too. This apathetic guy, Susanoo-san, was a ticking time bomb no one saw coming. My legs trembled, and I tried to get up stealthily.
"Don't worry about anything... I'm... quite affectionate with children. If someone asks me to kill a kid... I'll just kill the client who asked me, and that's it."
To make matters worse, he extended his heavy hand and began to lazily stroke my head.
That made a polar chill run through me from the soles of my feet to the back of my neck. Find the original chapter at novelping.com.
I sat down abruptly, paralyzed by fear. Even though he seemed to be speaking very seriously in his twisted way, I still feel panicked, damn it!
Ah...
King Fon is sweating buckets. I can clearly see Violetta-san has her hands ready to cast an emergency incantation in case things get ugly.
Luckily, with a soft sigh, Susanoo-san instantly fell asleep again in his seat.
I exhaled a sigh of relief so deep I almost fainted. Even the king slumped back against his throne.
My hands were trembling so much that my body, instinctively seeking refuge, shrank back a little. He began to clumsily pat my head to calm me down.
Once my heartbeat had more or less returned to normal, Ichirou-kun asked with extreme shyness, glancing sideways at me and the king:
"Um... I guess we can't continue with this nice dynamic of introductions for now, right...?"
I shook my head shyly, but I understood that I had to be fair to them. Although I was burning with shame, I had to take the step.
I gathered the last bit of courage I had left and opened my mouth.
“Asagao… please, just call me Asagao… nice to meet you all.”
I finally said it out loud. Ichirou-kun, noticing how vulnerable I looked, gently intervened to ask me the next question.
"And tell me, Asagao-chan... what were you doing before you were abducted?"
Huh? That question again? Oh, damn... just that event.
“A group of terrorists... attacked the ship I was traveling on.”
The temperature in the large room seemed to drop below zero in a matter of seconds. You could cut the air with a knife.
Everyone was looking at me with genuine and deep concern. Even the king was squirming in his seat, very uneasy.
"And what about your mother and father, little one? Weren't they with you...?"
What...?
Well, since I haven't had a family for as long as I can remember, I guess it's okay if I tell you now. I gave them a forced smile, trying to show them I was fine with it.
“I have no mother or father. I grew up without them. I was raised by the staff of a local orphanage.”
What...?
At that moment, the atmosphere froze to absolute zero. I swear I saw the king wiping a furtive tear from the corner of his eye!
“King Fon, I’m so sorry, but this concludes my presentation!” “Poor defenseless child…!” the king sobbed. “What an incredibly strong child! To endure all that without the warmth of Mom and Dad…” “Asagao-chan! From now on, you have us! Consider us your new, strange family!”
Wow, they started saying things straight out of a dramatic anime!
Why on earth are they all looking at me with so much pity all of a sudden?!
Seeing the emotional turn the situation was taking, Ichirou-kun coughed discreetly to remember something important.
"Oh, wait a minute! The maid hasn't arrived yet!"
"Ara...And to think I had planned to stay discreetly in the background without attracting anyone's attention."
"...Please introduce yourself at once," the king demanded in a rigid tone.
The maiden walked with impeccable grace to the center of the room and stood before the king. I could instantly sense the pristine yet menacing aura she radiated. She curtsied in a manner bordering on absolute perfection.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you all, fellow heroes. And it’s a peculiar pleasure to meet you, Your Majesty, Violetta-sama, and Ishta-sama.”
Ishta-sama?! He was there!?
Upon hearing that someone had noticed his existence, the old man remembered the torment of being invisible to most and almost burst into tears right there, overcome with emotion that he hadn't been ignored....
“Your Majesty, upon setting foot in this place, I experienced such overwhelming anxiety due to the disorder that I began to sweat profusely.”
"...Please express your criticism freely," the king granted with a trembling smile, feeling a foreboding.
"Everything here is simply disgusting."
" Excuse me...? "
“To begin with, I can clearly see that the back of your throne, specifically in the left corner, is accumulating an unacceptable layer of dust. I pride myself on having an unerring radar for detecting dirt in any residence where I am called to serve. Furthermore, your personal servants and maids are woefully inept. The food isn't bad, but it lacks refinement; it wasn't served with the proper elegance. The room assigned to me is filthy, poorly ventilated, and not thoroughly cleaned. There were even limescale stains in the bathroom that they didn't even bother to polish! What an absolute horror! In fact, I had to get up before dawn this morning just to inspect every corner of this disgraceful castle.”
“Ah… I… I sincerely apologize if the state of my fortress falls below your exacting standards of cleanliness,” the king stammered, defeated. “I'm not finished with you yet, Your Majesty!”
“Proceed…” the king agreed with utter resignation. “The worst thing of all, the greatest atrocity my eyes have ever witnessed in this place, is… the royal library.”
"Oh no...?!" Violetta-san jumped in fright. Pure despair was etched on every feature of her mage's face.
“The library is absolutely covered in dust! Filthy! The valuable tomes are lying around scattered on the floor without any order or respect! Dirty! It’s obvious the books aren’t receiving the proper maintenance they deserve. Filthy! And worst of all… there are unsanitary people sleeping in the hallways as if this were a homeless shelter! Absolutely disgusting and filthy!”
Violetta-san was on the verge of tears in the middle of the room. She had no way to defend herself against such damning arguments. Ironically, cornered like that, she looked quite endearing.
“From today onward, for as long as I remain under this roof, I will personally oversee the complete re-education of all the butlers, guards, and maids in this filthy castle! I will not allow anyone's health to deteriorate because of this filth. And certainly not that of this sweet young lady,” he declared, pointing directly at me with a fixed gaze.
He announced it with a solemnity and authority that chilled the blood. He's definitely much scarier than Susanoo-san's apathetic henchman himself. Poor Violetta-san. Although, on second thought, deep down she seems to be a very considerate person. To break the tension, Ichirou-kun threw the last question of the round.
"So... what exactly were you doing before you were brought into this world?"
“Oh my God! I was attending my late master’s funeral. Although, thinking about it rationally, being suddenly summoned back into this world saves me the trouble of looking for my next job.”
I officially retract what I said a moment ago. This woman is just as dangerous, if not more so, than that apathetic guy.