“What does it mean to be alone?”
I lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling above me.
Bright jewels decorated the massive room while servants walked through the halls outside at every hour of the day.
I had a father who sat upon a throne, a woman meant to play the role of a mother who could not care less, and a brother who looked at me with affection I could never return.
Sometimes, I feel like a puddle resting along the shore of a beach.
I obviously belong there, yet all it takes is one wave to wash over me before I disappear into the ocean entirely.
Maybe the only way to fill the emptiness is to become a part of something else.
Knock.
Knock.
“Sir Li?” a maid called hesitantly from behind the door.
I remained lying on the bed for a moment before speaking.
“Speak.”
My voice came out soft, yet sharp enough to make her nervous.
“His Majesty requests your presence in the throne room. He says he has important news and asks that you come immediately after getting dressed.”
Silence settled between us briefly before I answered.
“Understood.”
“Would you like help preparing, sir?”
“No. I’ll be fine. You may leave.”
Soon the sound of hurried footsteps faded down the corridor, finally allowing me to breathe properly again.
He cannot even come speak to his own son himself.
Typical.
After changing clothes, I stepped into the palace corridors.
The halls of Shenguang were beautiful—bright lanterns, expensive paintings, polished floors, everything carefully crafted to perfection.
Everything looked like it belonged.
Except me.
Well… nothing can ever be perfect, I thought bitterly, rolling my eyes.
Eventually, I arrived before the towering doors of the throne room.
“Let’s get this over with,” I muttered under my breath before pushing the doors open.
“Your Majesty, His Highness the prince has arrived!” a servant announced loudly.
Sitting upon the throne was the king—my father, Li Zhang.
Beside him sat my stepmother, Li Hua, while standing quietly at her side was my younger stepbrother, Li Xiao.
I walked forward before lowering myself onto one knee.
“Good morning, Father. Mother. You called for me?”
“Rise, Qiang,” my father said.
I stood slowly, lifting my gaze toward him.
As expected, he still could not meet my eyes properly.
“Well, as you know,” he began stiffly, “you came of age two months ago…”
He is not about to try marrying me off already, is he?
“It is time to prepare for your departure to the academy in two weeks. Make a list of any personal belongings you wish to bring. The remaining equipment will be prepared by the head servants.”
…Ah.
I had almost forgotten I took the entrance examinations earlier this year.
The academy.
I cannot believe it is already time.
Not that I would be leaving much behind here anyway.
“Is that understood?” he asked firmly, his voice leaving no room for refusal.
I stared at him for a moment before nodding.
“Understood, Father.”
“Good. You may leave.”
I turned immediately, quickening my pace toward the doors.
Another minute in that room and I might suffocate.
By the time I returned to my chambers, exhaustion had already settled over me.
I dropped onto the edge of my bed with a sigh.
“Maya!”
The door opened almost instantly.
“Yes, sir?”
“I need you to prepare a list of supplies for the academy.”
For the next hour, we discussed clothes, books, equipment, and other necessities until lunchtime eventually approached.
Missing breakfast certainly did not help the growing hunger in my stomach.
“Also,” I added, “tell the chef to prepare lunch. I’ll eat here.”
“Of course, sir.”
After Maya left, silence filled the room once more.
“Hah… what a day already,” I muttered quietly.
My gaze eventually drifted toward the balcony.
After a moment, I pushed myself up and stepped outside.
A cool breeze brushed against my skin as sunlight poured over the palace gardens below.
Even if this palace suffocates me…
I could never deny that Shenguang was beautiful.
Below the balcony bloomed the floral gardens that once belonged to my mother.
I rested my arms against the railing quietly.
“Well,” I whispered to myself, “I guess new beginnings are waiting for me after all.