(Kurus’s POV)
I stared at my mate, who had dozed off after her relentless seducing on my senses, her powerful form barely covered by the small scrap of cloth around her hips.
In the dark room, the glowbugs flapped their wings inside a net strung from the ceiling, casting shifting green light across her body. Their glow made shadows dance on the walls, and as they swayed, they illuminated her black hair, its length matching my own.
Her swollen face, marred by the many scratches and bruises, was the first thing I had noticed about her.
Did she not have males to protect her? How did she end up in such a state?
The cloth around her torso lifted up, revealing muscles on her belly. Only males had those, to protect their females...from coldblooded like me. Yet, she had them.
She wasn’t a male. Other males would protect another female but they wouldn’t have played with me the way she did, said words that made me hot under my cold skin. She called me her mate, while I called her ugly. The ugliest female I had ever seen.
Was that why she had no males? Was she thrown away by her kind? For being defective? Or was she like me, a beast that others avoided? Who feared her?
I hated females like her, entitled ones, who thought they could order me around. Who thought they could make me do things for them, just because they were females.
I hated her.
Everything she did made me angry. She stared at me like I was her prey, until she didn’t.
The moment Nivi woke up, she became her shadow. Her attention shifted away from me, like females who got bored with their mates and sought other ones.
Typical. I should have known.
So I held on to her, while getting to know Nivi. She was also weird, fascinated by my kind, when others ran away. She was beautiful, the most beautiful female I had ever seen. The kindest one too. She talked to me, listened to me, and made me feel... wanted.
My vision saw the way some parts of her body heated up when I was near. Her cheeks, her neck, her chest. Down lower, I could see a faint heat as well.
I still held onto the ugly female, even after Nivi said there was no mate bond between us. I told myself I wanted her to suffer, to see me take away her Nivi, the only one she cared about. It was the only explanation to my behavior.
Instead of being aggressive, the ugly female became invisible. Like she didn’t exist at all, when she was right there. Unreactive, indifferent to my advances towards Nivi.
I hated that too.
Before Nivi woke up, she kept seeking my attention, calling out to me, keeping me close to her, make me shield her from the wind, feed her. She needed me, until she didn’t.
The only time I got her attention afterwards was when I became a threat. Then she would show up, with her grey eyes, dim, dull, almost lifeless. How could she be so alive, so intense, with her words and actions, and yet look so dead inside?
Her ugly face became more and more painful to look at. So I looked at Nivi, instead. Ancestors wanted me to breed her, to fulfill my purpose.
But what about the ugly one? My ancestor hissed in my head, telling me to run, to leave her behind. She was no longer my mate. I had to chose another.
I chose Nivi. It was clear who I needed. But when it came to marking her, my body refused to move.
Nivi didn’t see Kurus the same way the ugly one did. She believed I could become warmblooded. I wasn’t one. No matter how hard I tried to mimic them, I couldn’t change my blood. When I said I will kill her males, she got upset, her eyes showing me disgust and fear.
When I said the ugly one the same thing, she said: go for it.
’Just be ready to be killed back, any moment. You will be at the risk of dying,’ she had said, ’for the rest of your life.’
After I saw the injuries I had inflicted on her, I wished I could turn back time. Nivi couldn’t send me away no matter what.
I had to see, and I saw.
The state my new mate’s body was in.
It was worse than what the ancestors had done to their females. Bloodied, broken, battered, wounded... by my own claws, fangs, and tail. They were from our fist fight. One that I thought I would lose.
She never showed being hurt by the whip of my tail, making me believe I had no chance to defeat her. I was wrong. She was just good at hiding it.
I ended up marking her instead of Nivi.
A coldblooded beastman’s mate mark was tied to her life now. If I die, the mark would poison her, and she would die too. The only way to break it was through a stronger male overpowering my claim.
The odds of that happening were slim. Very few had the strength to challenge me, and even if they did, she said she was fine with just me, as her mate.
A small smile tugged at my lips.
Fifty winters had passed. I fought and got stronger, waiting for my chance to choose any female I wanted. I should have been happy with my choice, but I ended up choosing the opposite of everything I ever wanted.
Ugly.
Violent.
Arrogant.
Entitled.
Insane.
Unpredictable.
Everything I hated.
But also...
Everything I couldn’t resist.
My eyes traveled to my mate’s legs, where she had straddled my tail before she went to sleep. She had used my tail to get rid of the heat in her body, and had helped me get rid of mine too.
I wanted to do it again, lick her insides. The skin there was sensitive, wet. I drooled and the twins (that’s how she called my male parts) twitched in agreement, but I held them down. Rubbed my hand up and down to calm them.
She said I should tire them out before she woke up. Or else I would be in trouble. Do not let them stick out, she had said. Hide them well.
It was difficult. They would wake up after I was done calming them down. I would have to start over. And over. And over. Again. And again. She didn’t give me a moment to rest, even when she was asleep.
My tail slithered across the floor, slowly, seeking the curve of her waist, to pull her closer.
I was barely an arm away from her before her hand shot out, grabbing my tail. Her grip almost snapped it in half.
"Mate." I groaned in pain as she twisted her body to face me.
Her eyes were still closed, but her grip was deadly, "I told you to keep your distance until I wake up, Noodle. Now, give me one good reason why I shouldn’t chop your tail off and fry it for breakfast."
I whimpered as she squeezed harder.
This female, I really hat...
Why did she have to be so strong?
Why couldn’t she be gentle, like Nivi?
I tried to free my tail, but her grip was unyielding.
I regretted choosing her as my mate.
I should have kept the miracle core for myself.
She didn’t deserve to be healed by it.
"I’m waiting, Noodle."
"Eat me." I finally said, my tail throbbing. She was craving snake meat again, but there was none in the warmblooded territory, besides me.
I also wanted to be inside her, and this was the only way I could think of to make it happen. I had eaten other beastmen. I never thought I would be on the other end of the fangs one day.
"I have a few miracle cores left. My tail will regrow. Hungry females must eat, so...eat." I closed my eyes, expecting her teeth to sink into my flesh.
"Give the core to me instead," she said, pulling me closer.
"No."
"Are you refusing your mate?"
"Yes."
"Very well." She pulled again, and I lost my balance.
I hit my head on the floor, the ceiling moving as she dragged me toward her. My head bumped a few more times before she stopped.
My smile stretched a little further. She stared at me with a flat expression. I got what I wanted, she must have realized. I wanted the distance between to be closed, with her touch on my body.
"...you are more sick in the head than I thought," she said, releasing her hold on my tail. The blood rushed back into it, making it tingle.
Violence was a part of my life. I hunted for food, and I hunted to defend my territory.
So...
Fighting my mate was just another way of survival. Wasn’t it?
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