The days of the third year of junior high school were a battle of life and death.
Before dawn, she would get up to memorize words.
At night, after turning off the lights, she would still hide under the covers and use a flashlight to look at the questions.
The battery of the flashlight was used sparingly.
When the battery was almost dead, the light was yellowish, like old photos.
Her eyes were damaged at that time, and when she looked far away, it would blur.
The mock exam was in January.
On the day after the exam, it was snowing heavily, and the playground was white.
The day the results were announced, the red list was pasted on the wall in front of the teaching building.
The students crowded together, looking from front to back for their own names.
Bian Feifei stood at the farthest end, and only when everyone had dispersed almost completely did she dare to move forward.
She looked from the back to the front.
The 20th from the bottom was Bian Feifei.
Her heart sank little by little.
There were over 300 students in the grade, and she ranked 280th.
Her English was 68 and her math was 52.
This score was far from the threshold of County No.
1 High School.
She stood in front of the list, with snow falling on her shoulders and down her neck.
It was so cold that she shrank her neck.
” Bian Feifei.
”
She turned around.
It was the head teacher, Mr.
Qian.
He was holding a report card and his eyebrows were knitted.
“Come to the office. New chapters come out on g.com first.
”
The office was heated by a coal stove.
Mr.
Qian sat down and pushed a piece of paper in front of her, which was her grades for all subjects.
“Look at it yourself.
” He tapped the table, “In the third year, this is the score.
Do you understand?
”
Fei Fei lowered her head and twisted the corner of her clothes.
“I…
I will work hard.
”
“Work hard?
” Mr.
Qian sighed, “Fei Fei, Teacher Qian speaks straightforwardly.
Don’t be reluctant to listen.
You have a poor foundation, a thin base, and your family is in this situation.
If this trend continues, you won’t be able to get into high school.
Instead of wasting time here, you should think of a way out as soon as possible.
”
Those words “Not getting into high school” were like a needle, piercing straight into her ears.
“I want to study.
” She said, her voice very low.
“To study, you need that foundation.
” Mr.
Qian waved his hand, “Go back and think carefully.
Your parents and your mother have worked hard to support you.
”
She left the office. Visit g.com for the full chapter.
The sky was already dark.
The snow stopped, and the street lamps one by one came on, shining cold light on the snow on the ground.
She stepped on the snow, one step at a time, and the snow creaked.
That night, she didn’t eat.
After the lights were turned off, the bed was completely dark.
She buried her face in the pillow, tears flowed silently, soaking a large part of the pillowcase.
The girl on the upper bunk had fallen asleep early, and the dormitory was only filled with even breathing sounds.
“Not getting in.
” She thought.
Those three words rolled around in her mind.
She thought of those sisters in the village who didn’t finish school, the words of Auntie Er, and the lost bracelet of her mother.
Is it really like this?
She cried until the middle of the night, her chest hurting from crying.
Tired from crying, she didn’t know how, but she reached for the flashlight again, covered the light head with the quilt, and opened the English book.
She couldn’t recognize any words, and the words were flashing in front of her eyes.
She closed her eyes and opened them again.
The next morning, the girls in the dormitory discovered that she got up earlier than anyone else and stood at the end of the corridor near the water room, reading words against the wall corner, her voice hoarse.
Someone asked her what was wrong, and she didn’t speak, but held the book higher.
“I don’t believe it.
” She said to herself, one word at a time, “I don’t believe I won’t get in.
”
That winter was particularly long.
But the colder it was, the tighter she held the book.
The light leaked through the seams of the quilt, like a small star that refused to go out.
And she herself didn’t know that it was this sentence that no one heard, “I don’t believe it,” that would hold a “bypass” spot for her half a year later.
Only two points short.