(BLUE’S POV)
For three whole months, Jeremy and Sofia believed they had gained my trust.
And maybe…
in some ways they had.
They trained me.
Fed me.
Protected me.
Talked with me for hours every night like I was their own child.
But there was something they didn’t know.
Something I never told them.
I was looking for a way to leave.
Not because I hated them.
God no, I didn’t.
Jeremy had saved my life.
Sofia treated me with a warmth I hadn’t felt since my mother died.
But no matter how kind they were…
I couldn’t stay in that metal hideout forever.
The place felt less like a shelter and more like a tomb.
No windows.
No sunlight.
No breeze carrying the scent of the outside world.
Just cold metal walls…
endless silence…
and the faint echo of my own thoughts bouncing around inside my skull.
It was suffocating.
But the worst part wasn’t the darkness.
The worst part was what it took away from me.
That place kept me far away from everything that reminded me of my family…
everything that reminded me of who I used to be.
The boy who lived in a warm house.
The boy who woke up to the sound of his mother humming in the garden.
The boy who argued with his siblings over stupid things like who got the last honey cake.
That boy felt like someone else now.
Someone distant.
Someone I had buried along with the rest of my old life.
But I wasn’t ready to let him go.
No matter how many times Jeremy and Sofia told me it was impossible…
I still wanted my old life back.
Or at least…
a piece of it.
I had to try.
Even if it was stupid.
Even if it hurt.
******
One night, Jeremy, Sofia and I were sitting beside a fallen tree deep in the forest.
The moonlight filtered through the branches above us, Crickets chirped somewhere in the darkness, and the wind moved softly through the leaves.
Jeremy was sitting beside me, absently twirling a leaf between his fingers.
For a long moment, neither of us spoke.
Then I finally broke the silence.
“Jeremy…”
“Hm?” He glanced at me, tilting his head slightly.
His eyes were calm, patient.
Waiting.
I tried to make my voice sound casual, like this question meant nothing.
“Do you ever think about home?”
Jeremy stopped playing with the leaf; slowly, he turned to face me completely.
“What do you mean?”
I shrugged lightly, though my chest felt tight.
“I mean…
your old life.
Before all this.” I gestured vaguely at the forest surrounding us.
“Before the hiding.
The hunting.
The…
surviving.”
Jeremy leaned back against the tree trunk, folding his arms across his chest as he stared up at the sky through the branches.
“Yes,” he said after a moment.
“Sometimes.”
I hesitated before asking the next question.
“Do you miss it?”
A faint smile appeared on his face.
Not a happy smile.
It was the kind of smile people wear when remembering something they loved so dearly.
“Of course I miss home,” he said quietly.
“Everyone does at some point in their lives.”
I lowered my gaze to the dirt beneath my feet.
“I do too.”The words slipped out softer than I intended.
“A lot, actually.”
Across from us, Sofia sat on a nearby rock, quietly sharpening a small knife against a stone.
She didn’t interrupt.
But I could feel her eyes on me.
Watching.
Listening.
“My house,” I continued slowly.
“My family’s land…
my father’s study…”
Images began to flood my mind.
The tall wooden shelves filled with books.
The large oak desk where my father spent most of his evenings working.
“My mother’s garden…”
I could almost smell the flowers.
Lavender.
Jasmine.
Roses.
“My siblings…” I murmured.
My throat tightened.
“I never even got to say goodbye.”
Silence fell over the clearing.
Jeremy’s expression softened.
“Blue…”
“I just want to see it again,” I said quickly, before he could say anything else.
“Just once.”
Jeremy sighed.
It wasn’t an annoyed sigh.
It was the sigh of someone who already knew the answer wouldn’t be what I wanted.
“It’s not safe for you yet.”
I frowned.
“Why?”
“Because you’re still learning control.”
My hands slowly curled into fists.
“I have control.”
Sofia spoke before Jeremy could respond.
“Most of the time,” she said gently.
I looked away.
Jeremy leaned forward slightly, his voice becoming more serious.
“Back home, you’d be surrounded by humans, Blue.”
“I was surrounded by humans my entire life!”
“And now you’re not human anymore.” The words dropped between us like a stone.
Heavy.
Unavoidable.
I didn’t respond.
What could I say to that?
Inside my chest…
something twisted painfully.
Jeremy thought this was just about my house.
About memories.
About nostalgia.
But he was wrong.
There was something else pulling at my thoughts.
Someone else.
Margaret.
The girl my parents had arranged for me to marry.
The girl I had loudly and dramatically declared I would never marry.
Back then, the idea had felt ridiculous.
An arranged marriage.
A stranger chosen by my parents.
I had complained about it for weeks.
Stormed around the house like a rebellious idiot.
“I’m never marrying her!” I had shouted more than once.
At the time, it felt like the most important problem in my life.
Now…
Now my entire family was gone.
And suddenly, that stupid argument felt painfully small.
A heavy thought crept quietly into my mind.
‘What if marrying her would have made my parents happy?’
The idea made my chest tighten.
‘What if they were disappointed in me?’
What if, wherever they were now…
they blamed me?
For not protecting them.
For not being strong enough.
For surviving when they didn’t.
My throat burned.
Maybe…
Maybe if I married Margaret now…
Maybe it would somehow make things right.
Maybe it would prove that I wasn’t the selfish son they might remember.
Maybe it would honor them somehow.
Maybe it would prove that I wasn’t a monster.
It was a foolish thought.
I knew that.
But grief doesn’t care about logic.
Grief doesn’t listen to reason.
Grief only whispers the same painful question over and over again.
‘What if things could have been different?’
Three months after my training began, Jeremy and Sofia finally trusted me enough to leave the hideout key with me.
“You’ll need it if you come back before us,” Jeremy said casually.
I nodded.
But inside…
A plan was forming.
That night, after they left…
The forest became quiet again.
For a long time I sat inside the hideout staring at the door.
My mind argued with itself.
‘Don’t do this.’
‘Jeremy will be angry.’
‘Sofia will be hurt.’
But another voice whispered louder.
‘Your home.’
‘Your family.’
‘Your past.’
Slowly, I stood up.
“Well,” I muttered to myself.
“Guess this is happening.”
I grabbed the key Jeremy had left on the table.
No dramatic escape.
No breaking chains.
No smashing doors.
Just a simple twist of metal in a lock.
Click.
The heavy door opened.
Cool night air rushed in.
And for the first time since I became a vampire…
I walked away.
******
Finding my way home turned out to be easier than I expected.
My instincts guided me.
My vampire senses picked up familiar scents in the wind.
The fields.
The river.
The old dirt road.
And eventually…
My house appeared through the trees.
Or what was left of it.
I stopped walking.
My chest tightened painfully.
The building looked abandoned.
Broken windows.
Splintered doors.
Dark stains on the wooden floor.
Even from outside I could smell it.
Old blood.
My family’s blood.
My hands began shaking.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
My voice sounded small in the empty night.
As I stepped inside, the silence was unbearable.
Every room felt haunted.
My brothers used to wrestle in this hallway.
My sisters used to laugh in that corner.
My mother used to hum while cooking.
And now…Nothing.
Just emptiness.
I walked slowly through the wreckage.
“I should have been here on time,” I whispered.
“I should have protected you.”
My throat tightened.
I wanted to cry.
God…
I wanted to cry so badly.
But no tears came.
Jeremy had warned me about that.
“Vampires couldn’t cry,” he once said.
“At least not the way humans do.”
I hated that.
Because right now…
I needed tears more than anything.
Instead I just sat on the floor.
For a long time.
Hours, maybe.
Just staring at the ruined house.
Grieving silently; and eventually I stood up.
Then, my feet carried me to my father’s study.
The door creaked open slowly.
Everything inside was still organized.
My father had always been meticulous.
Documents.
Maps.
Letters.
Business agreements.
And eventually…
I found what I was looking for.
Margaret’s file.
I picked it up carefully, inside were several papers.
Her family’s name.
Their address.
Their estate location.
And a small portrait.
I stared at the drawing.
“…Huh.”
She wasn’t ugly.
In fact…
She was quite beautiful.
Long hair.
Soft eyes.
Elegant posture.
“Father had good taste,” I muttered then ran my fingers across the paper.
“Maybe I should have listened.”
After a moment, I folded the documents and tucked them into my coat.
Then I left the house again.
The moon hung high in the sky.
It was probably around three in the morning.
And Margaret’s home…
Wasn’t far.
Not with my vampire speed at hand.
Her family’s estate stood behind tall stone walls.
Large.
Wealthy.
Guarded.
I crouched in the shadows near the entrance.
“Well,” I whispered.
“This feels illegal.”
With a quick leap, I cleared the wall easily.
Vampire strength had its advantages.
I landed silently inside the courtyard.
And that’s when I noticed something.
The smell.
Human scent.
Strong.
Warm.
Alive.
Dozens of them.
Sleeping inside the house.
Their blood pulsing slowly through their veins.
My throat burned.
“…No.”
I stepped back.
“Not now.”
The thirst stirred violently.
“Control,” I whispered to myself.
“Control, Blue.”
I realized instantly that Jeremy and Sofia were right, and that chanting control wasn’t going to work; so quickly, I turned toward the wall.
I needed to leave as fast as possible; but before I could jump, I heard them…
BARK!
Dogs.
Three of them rushed toward me barking loudly.
“Aw, hell.”
Their barking echoed across the compound.
Soon, lights began flickering inside the house, footsteps approached, and then a voice called out nervously.
“Who’s there?!”
A young servant boy stepped outside holding a wooden stick.
He looked maybe eighteen.
Or younger.
His big doe eyes were wide with fear and his hands were trembling badly.
But he still stood between me and the house bravely.
“Show yourself!” he shouted.
For a moment…
he reminded me of myself.
Young.
Stubborn.
Trying to be brave.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I said quietly.
The boy froze.
“You’re trespassing,” he stammered.
“Please leave.”
I nodded slowly.
“That’s the plan.”
But then…the he wind shifted and suddenly, his scent hit me full force.
Hot.
Fresh.
Alive.
If I thought I was struggling for control before, now I was completely desperate for it.
My throat burned as it exploded with hunger.
My vision suddenly blurred.
“No…
no…”
I stepped back.
“Run,” I told him weakly.
The boy frowned.
“What?”
“RUN!”
But it was too late.
My instincts took over.
Before I even understood what I was doing, I moved.
Faster than thought.
My hand grabbed his collar and my fangs sank straight into his neck.
The taste of human blood for the first time, filled my mouth instantly.
It was warm.
Sweet.
Alive.
Everything animal blood wasn’t.
The boy screamed.
His body struggled in my grip.
But I kept drinking.
I couldn’t stop.
The thirst demanded it.
His screams echoed across the courtyard.
“Help!
Help-!”
Then suddenly…
something inside me snapped awake.
What was I doing?
I looked down.
The boy’s terrified eyes stared back at me.
And in that moment…
I realized something horrifying.
I had become the very monster that killed my family.
“No!”
I shoved him away immediately.
His body collapsed onto the ground unconscious.
Blood covered my hands.
My mouth and clothes.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered desperately.
“I’m so sorry.” Then I ran.
I ran deeper into the forest than ever before.
Branches snapped beneath my feet.
Wind roared in my ears.
I didn’t stop until my legs gave out.
Then I collapsed beside a tree.
“What have I done?!”
My fist slammed into the tree’s trunk.
CRACK.
Wood splintered everywhere.
“I promised!”
Another punch.
CRACK.
“I promised I wouldn’t become a monster!”
I hit it again.
And again.
And again.
My hands tore straight through the trees.
My screams echoed through the forest.
“WHY DID I DO THAT?!”
I screamed and screamed and screamed.
And eventually, my strength faded.
Not physically but mentally.
I slid down a tree that hadn’t been destroyed by me, and sat there shaking.
My entire body trembled.
“I’m no different,” I whispered hoarsely.
“I’m exactly like them.
I’m a monster.”
Hours passed.
I just sat there blaming myself.
Hating myself.
Until another memory surfaced.
Jeremy’s voice echoed in my head.
“Sunlight kills vampires.”
I looked toward the horizon and noticed the sky was beginning to brighten.
And suddenly…an idea formed in my head.
Maybe…
Maybe the sun could fix this.
Maybe it could end me.
Maybe I deserved that.
“Yes,” I whispered.
“That’s fair.”
So I stayed there.
Waiting.
Waiting for the sunrise.
Waiting for my end.
Eventually, the sun finally appeared over the trees.
It’s golden light spilled across the forest and made everything alive and brighter.
I waited patiently as it touched my hands.
Then my face.
Then my clothes.
I closed my eyes hoping to be done with this life.
“Just burn me already.”
But to my greatest shock and disappointment, nothing happened.
I waited.
Still nothing.
I slowly opened one eye.
Then the other.
The sunlight felt…
Warm.
Normal.
Exactly like it used to feel when I was human.
I looked down at my arms.
No burning.
No smoke.
No pain.
“…What?”
I stood up slowly.
Confused.
The sunlight shone brightly around me.
And I was completely fine.
My brain struggled to process it.
Jeremy’s words echoed in my mind again.
“Sunlight kills vampires.”
But clearly…
It didn’t kill me.
I stared up at the sky.
A strange mix of emotions bubbled inside my chest.
Confusion.
Anger.
Suspicion.
“…Why?”
My fists slowly clenched.
“Why did they lie to me?”
The forest remained silent.
But one thing was certain now.
Jeremy and Sofia had kept something very important from me.
And I was going to find out what it was.