“Alright, just rest here for a bit.
Do you want something to drink?
I’ll go buy water.”
“Just water is fine.”
Shiki nodded.
Vending machines were very common at this school, especially around places like the sports field.
You basically only had to walk a few steps to find one.
The best part was that plain drinking water was completely free.
This single fact made Shiki incredibly happy.
He came back, tossed Kamuro a bottle as she rested on the bench, and took a few small sips from his own just to wet his throat.
Neither of them spoke.
They just sat in a comfortable state of rest.
Suddenly, a golden blur dashed past them like a violent gust of wind.
As he sprinted by, he glanced at the two of them, his eyes locking specifically onto Shiki, and laughed:
“Panda Boy!
I acknowledge your excellent performance on the track, but when it comes to beauty, you are still far beneath me!
Hahaha…”
Leaving behind a trail of booming laughter, the guy vanished down the end of the road.
A weirdo appeared, and a weirdo disappeared…
Shiki sat there, completely stunned, the wind blowing past him.
No, seriously, who the hell is that guy?
Why is he so incredibly greasy?
His way of speaking is almost exactly like Sakiko’s.
One of them constantly mutters about becoming a god, and the other constantly runs his mouth about being beautiful…
Kamuro was completely baffled too.
It took her a long time to react.
She turned to an equally dumbfounded Shiki and asked, “You know him?”
After all, the only person here who matched the “panda” description was Shiki.
Shiki hesitated for a moment.
“…I think so?”
If possible, he really wanted to pretend he didn’t know the guy.
And why did he randomly throw in weird English words while talking?
Was that some kind of new trendy way of speaking?
“Why are you answering my question with another question?” Kamuro frowned, feeling like he was messing with her again.
“He’s a student in Class D.
His personality is a bit…
unconventional.
I was sleeping during self introductions yesterday, so I don’t know his name,” Shiki explained.
“What a total weirdo.
In a way, he’s just as weird as you…”
“Hey!
You’re a literal thief who steals for the thrill!
How do you have the nerve to call anyone else a weirdo?” Shiki looked at her, completely speechless.
Do weirdos just naturally lack all self awareness?
How could she comfortably call someone else weird?
At least he didn’t steal things just for the adrenaline rush…
Shiki thought about all the people he had met over the past two days: a naturally evil little brat, a domineering and generous upperclassman, a deadpan artificial human, a thrill seeking thief, and an overly confident ‘beautiful’ guy…
Doing a quick headcount, he took a sharp breath of cold air.
The ratio of absolute weirdos in this school is way too high.
Did I just jump out of the tiger’s den and straight into a wolf pack?
Shiki suddenly felt deeply pessimistic about his high school life for the next three years.
His mood plummeted for a few seconds.
Having mostly recovered, Kamuro stood up and asked him, “I’m heading back to the dorms.
You?”
“Same.
I’m covered in sweat from working out, so I definitely need to go back and wash up.” Shiki tossed his empty water bottle into a nearby trash can.
“Tch!
And I still have to hurry back and carry Sakayanagi’s bag.” Just thinking about her terrible fate made Kamuro’s face twist in intense annoyance.
“Oh, well, good luck with that.” Shiki showed absolutely no sympathy.
From the exact moment Sakayanagi chose Kamuro as her “friend,” he knew this unlucky girl was doomed to be a slave for the next three years.
But one thing did surprise him: the speed at which Sakayanagi had trained Kamuro was beyond his imagination.
Was Sakayanagi’s manipulation really that top tier, or was Kamuro just incredibly easy to bully?
Thank god the person who caught Kamuro stealing and blackmailed her wasn’t a guy.
Otherwise, with her dense personality, it actually might have turned into a doujinshi plot.
He let his mind wander completely off topic.
Suddenly, a pair of sharp purple eyes flashed right in front of him.
Shiki, whose mind had been completely elsewhere, instantly stopped walking.
He leaned back slightly, avoiding the girl’s face that was inches from his own, and calmly asked, “What’s wrong?”
“You were just talking badly about me in your head, weren’t you?” Kamuro narrowed her eyes.
“I didn’t.
And why would you even think that?” Shiki didn’t even blink.
“It’s just an unexplained intuition.
I just suddenly felt super annoyed, like someone was secretly badmouthing me,” Kamuro said firmly.
(Dammit!
What kind of ridiculous woman’s intuition is that?!
Where’s the logic?!)
Shiki denied it instantly.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about!
Don’t make things up!”
“Then why are you getting so defensive?”
“Because I hate being falsely accused, and I don’t falsely accuse others.” Shiki smoothly redirected the conversation. Follow the newest chapters on g.com.
“Actually, I think your intuition might be right.
Someone is probably badmouthing you.
But that person is Sakayanagi.
Think about it.
That naturally evil little brat totally looks like the type to secretly insult people by calling them ‘small fry.’ She has that arrogant vibe where she looks down on literally everyone…
So it’s definitely her.”
Faced with Shiki’s highly logical analysis, Kamuro thought about it for a second and then nodded in complete agreement.
“I think you’re right.
That Sakayanagi really is a naturally evil little brat.”
Regardless of the facts, the two of them had reached total agreement when it came to their attitude toward Sakayanagi.
This was yet another glorious, monumental victory.
___________
The morning classes on the first day weren’t complicated.
They were mostly just the teachers going over the study plans for the semester, and every single teacher was unbelievably friendly.
However, even though it was only the first day of school, the hot tempered red haired guy, Sudou Ken, had already started openly sleeping in class.
Seeing this made Shiki grit his teeth.
(Bro, at least pretend to care for the first few days.
Who actually pulls this on day one…)
But Shiki figured that guy was just an exception.
Despite judging a book by its cover, Sudou really didn’t look like the type who loved studying.
Shiki thought the rest of the class couldn’t possibly be that bad…
Or so he thought.
And then, Shiki successfully witnessed the true diversity of human stupidity.
(TL:kewk)
Perhaps because Sudou was so boldly sleeping without any consequences, many other students started losing control and doing whatever they wanted.
Some gathered in small groups, whispering and chatting; some stared down at their phones, scrolling away; some pulled out the game consoles they bought yesterday and started playing; and some were even openly reapplying makeup right in the middle of class…
For a while, it was pure chaos.
Class D was truly thriving, filled with vibrant, untamed energy.
The beautiful scene made Shiki’s eye twitch violently.
The teachers acted as if they were completely blind to the chaotic zoo in front of them, as if they were existing on two entirely different layers of reality.
One side obediently taught the lesson, while the other side partied like there was no tomorrow.
Shiki groaned in his heart.
(Are there any actual humans left in this classroom?)
He scanned the room and realized that less than a quarter of the class was actually paying attention.
This was beyond ridiculous.
Even though he knew Class D was the absolute worst class, he never expected it to be this bad.
Thinking about the performance of these complete idiots, Shiki knew the points they would receive next month were in serious danger.
They might not even get a single point.
Absolutely unwilling to fall into a financial crisis, he firmly decided he needed to find a stable way to make money.
______________
When the sun reached its highest point at noon, the bell rang clearly.
The teacher instantly stopped talking and practically ran out of the room without a second of hesitation.
They looked even more eager to leave than the students.
“Haaa—”
Shiki let out a long, exhausted sigh.
“Are you tired?” Ayanokoji, who was sitting behind him, decided to strike up a conversation.
“A little.
The atmosphere in this classroom is actually disgusting.
I really wish they would all just drop dead.” Shiki didn’t hold back his pure disgust for the environment at all.
“Isn’t that a bit of an exaggeration?” Ayanokoji didn’t understand.
“It’s completely normal that you don’t understand, because you’re a robot.” Shiki stood up, flipped his hands inside out, reached up toward the ceiling, and stretched his back.
Ayanokoji didn’t argue.
Trying to play dumb after someone had already seen through your true nature was just ugly.
Besides, Shiki didn’t seem like the type to stick his nose into other people’s business.
“Do you want to go to the cafeteria together?” The deadpan guy actually sent out a party invite.
He honestly didn’t know what he was thinking.
Logically, he should be extremely cautious around someone who could read him so easily, but for some reason, he just felt a strong urge to observe him up close.
“No thanks.
Just being in the same room as these guys ruined my appetite.
I’m just going to go to the convenience store, grab some yakisoba bread, and call it a day.”
“Alright then.
I will come with you.”
Shiki gave Ayanokoji a weird look, but the guy’s face remained completely blank.
He smacked his lips, a massive wave of sadness washing over him.
He literally came to this school to escape crazy, clingy girls, and now he was being followed around by a weird, clingy guy.
What the hell is my life?!
The two of them each bought a pack of yakisoba bread and a carton of milk, then headed straight back to the classroom to eat at their desks.
Even though it was only the second day, the class had already formed lots of tight little friend groups.
As soon as the bell rang, they charged toward the cafeteria like they were teaming up for a raid boss, leaving the classroom completely empty.
But when they walked back in, they found someone already sitting there.
Shiki glanced at the person and wasn’t surprised in the slightest.
It was Horikita Suzune.
Horikita tore open the wrapper of her sandwich, glanced coldly at the two guys holding bread, and said with pure ice in her voice, “How pathetic.
Do neither of you have any friends to take you to the cafeteria?”
Shiki sat down at his desk and poked his straw into his milk carton.
“Right back at you.
At least I have a robot following me around, unlike a certain someone who is completely alone.”
Ayanokoji: “…”
Why am I constantly catching strays since I got to this school?)
Horikita took a small bite of her sandwich and frowned.
“I simply prefer being alone.”
Ayanokoji couldn’t help but ask, “Horikita, do you really plan on going three years without making a single friend?”
“Yes.
That is how I have lived my entire life,” Horikita answered without a moment of hesitation.
“But a normal person can’t go their whole life without making friends, right?
Especially in school.
Not having friends is extremely inconvenient.
Wouldn’t you agree, Tsugikuni?” Ayanokoji tried to pull more information out of Shiki to understand his mindset.
“You’re asking me?
I’ve literally never had a friend in school my entire life.
The number of times I’ve actually talked to my classmates is pathetically low.” Shiki swallowed a bite of his yakisoba bread.
He wasn’t lying.
Sakiko and the others definitely didn’t count as school friends.
Because he was always struggling just to survive, he was chronically sleep deprived.
He spent most of his breaks sleeping at his desk, and the second school ended, he had to sprint to his part time jobs.
He simply had zero time or energy to socialize with his classmates.
Getting tangled up with Sakiko and the band girls was purely a cursed twist of fate.
It was especially bad after he got a job at a housekeeping agency.
Somehow, Soyo found out and specifically requested him by name every other day.
Doing it once or twice was fine, but his agency quickly noticed the pattern and started looking at him super weirdly.
Soyo’s house was already spotless, so there was barely anything to clean.
Most of the time, she just prepared fancy tea and snacks for him.
It was less like going to work and more like getting paid to hang out.
Shiki could only marvel at how different the lives of rich people were, but he didn’t refuse her kindness.
He originally thought about doing something nice for his “good friend” to repay her, but he never expected that Soyo was secretly plotting to lock him up.
Damn her!
Ayanokoji didn’t want to speak anymore.
He suddenly realized he might have joined the wrong group.
He had wanted to join a normal friend circle, but he quickly found out that not a single person here was normal.
Look at the three of them—combined, they had exactly zero friends.
It was honestly too ridiculous.
For tiny little Class D to somehow gather all three of them in one place, it truly was a blessing from the heavens.
Horikita gave them a look of utter disbelief.
“I’m amazed you can say something so pathetic so casually.
Did your panda eyes stop you from making friends?”
“And what about you?
Did your freezing, dead inside face scare everyone away?
Even I get scared looking at your vicious glare.
If I bumped into you downstairs at night, I’d probably think I saw a ghost,” Shiki fired right back.
(TL: cook her, Shiki is my spirit animal of roasting now)
Horikita’s eyes turned sharp, stabbing toward Shiki like flying daggers.
He was completely unfazed.
“Horikita”, he took a slow sip of his milk, speaking purely to pick a fight, “could you try to make an expression that looks a bit more manly?”
Ayanokoji’s usually dead eyes widened slightly, looking at Shiki like he was looking at a suicidal hero.
“Then could you try acting like an actual giant panda?!
If you curl up into a ball and roll around a few times in public, I’m sure the zoo would gladly accept you,” Horikita laughed out of pure anger.
Shiki felt like she had completely misunderstood what he meant.
Just as he was about to explain himself, a loud announcement echoed from the school speakers.
“Attention all students.
The club recruitment fair will begin today at 5:00 PM.
Various school clubs will gather to provide information and guidance to the first year students.
Students who are interested, please ensure you arrive on time…”
After the announcement finished, Ayanokoji looked at Shiki.
“Club recruitment…
are you going this afternoon?”
“Of course.
But before that, I have something else I need to do.”
“What is it?” Ayanokoji kept pushing.
“Ayanokoji, why are you exclusively staring at me?” Shiki finally snapped.
“Please, just go harass Horikita instead.
Her personality is garbage, and her social skills are terrible, but at least she looks decent.
And more importantly, at least she’s a girl!”
Suddenly dragged into the crossfire, Horikita glared at the panda eyed boy and said coldly, “I should report both of you for sexual harassment!”
Ayanokoji completely ignored her.
Staring directly into Shiki’s eyes, he said with a totally blank face:
“I think you’re better.” (TL:Why are you geh)
Horikita froze.
She looked suspiciously back and forth between the two of them, her gaze slowly turning into one of pure, unfiltered disgust.
“I have no idea what kind of disgusting scenarios are playing out in your head right now, but it’s really not what you think,” Shiki said, feeling incredibly wronged.
“At the very least, my orientation is completely normal.”
Horikita just gave him a cold, mocking sneer.
Shiki sighed deeply.
He felt like this phase of his life was just way too difficult.
He thought coming here would finally free him from clingy, heavy hearted girls, but now he was being hunted by a clingy guy.
Ayanokoji was seriously getting way too attached.
Shiki decided he had to firmly warn him and remind him to go make some actual, normal friends.
Seeing Ayanokoji deep in thought, Shiki had no idea if his warning had actually registered.
But as long as the guy stopped sticking to him like a piece of chewed gum, it would be fine.