Before the wake‑up bugle sounded Lu Qingnian opened his eyes. To be exact he had barely slept all night.
As dawn broke he sat up and dressed moving as quickly as for an emergency assembly. Fresh steamed buns had just come out at the canteen. He took a stack and walked fast toward the guest quarters. He passed two soldiers out for drill who saluted. He returned the salute without slowing his pace.
The door stood slightly ajar and Niannian poked his head out eyes still half closed. Old Man is that you.
Lu Qingnian’s mouth twitched. Can you call me Father instead.
No Niannian pulled the door fully open and held out his small hand. Old Man cannot be returned. And you still owe me three stories remember.
Asking for payment so early Lu Qingnian gave him the buns. We will settle after you have eaten.
In the courtyard Jiang Shuiying was washing clothes. The day was cold and the water colder. Her hands moved in and out of the water fingertips bright red from the chill.
Lu Qingnian stood behind her and spoke. Shuiying.
The washing brush clattered into the basin splashing water onto her cuffs. She fumbled to pick it up without turning around. You are here. There is porridge cooking on the stove I will serve myself.
I do not want porridge Lu Qingnian said crouching beside the basin. I need to ask you something.
Her hands stopped moving slowly.
Last night I saw something in my mind he said watching her closely. Heavy snow was falling. A truck was driving away and someone ran after it. One shoe fell off and the person stood crying in the snow. Shuiying what did you shout that day.
The courtyard was so quiet they could hear the fire crackling in the stove. Jiang Shuiying kept her head down gripped the clothes and scrubbed harder than before. The wind was so strong I have forgotten what I said.
You may have forgotten but I have not Lu Qingnian spoke quietly. You ran half a li after the truck and the sentries could not stop you.
I still do not remember she said.
Lu Qingnian looked at her red cold fingers and reached into the basin. He lifted both her hands into his warm palms. One was icy cold the other burning hot.
Let go she said.
I will when they are warm.
She would not meet his gaze and the colour rose from her ears all the way to her neck. After a while he did let go his voice growing serious. If you will not tell me that is all right. Many people were in that truck. I will ask each of them one by one.
Jiang Shuiying stood up abruptly and gripped his sleeve her strength surprising. Do not.
She fell silent immediately feeling a little embarrassed. The courtyard was quiet and neither moved.
The ride was so bumpy she said releasing his fingers one by one her voice softening. I do not know if I shouted anything at all or what it might have been. Asking will make no difference.
Lu Qingnian looked at her for a long time. Jiang Shuiying you cannot look people in the eye when you lie.
The sound of the drill whistle drifted from a distance. He stood up brushed the dust from his trousers took a few steps and paused. I am going to training. I will come at noon for dinner.
He left. Jiang Shuiying leaned against the basin her legs feeling weak. She sank slowly onto the small stool.
Mother.
A head peeked out from beside the wall. Niannian had been sitting there watching for some time his brows drawn together. Are you hiding something from Old Man.
Do not worry about grown up matters she said.
Niannian repeated her words in a long teasing tone. Do not worry about grown up matters.
She raised her hand playfully to scold him and he darted away stopping at the door to look back his little brow still furrowed. Mother is keeping something from him. He would find out what it was.
At midday Lu Qingnian came over during a training break. He handed Niannian a tiffin box of braised pork said nothing and hurried off again. Niannian watched him go and muttered to himself. Old Man is finally getting it right.
That evening Lu Qingnian arrived for dinner early. The meal was quiet. Several times he began to speak and stopped. Finally he set down his chopsticks. Shuiying I need to tell you something.
I have written a letter to the village secretary at Heping in Sichuan. I have asked him to confirm our relationship and the truth about Niannian. He paused. I believe you both completely but the army requires official verification by letter. We must wait about half a month for a reply.
Niannian’s chopsticks clattered onto the table. Old Man do you still not trust us.
Jiang Shuiying said nothing. Lu Qingnian’s heart sank. Niannian spoke the truth and she was truly hurt.
Eventually she set down her chopsticks her voice tight. Lu Qingnian.
Yes Ma’am.
She looked at him her eyes slowly filling with tears. Is this always how you are. You decide everything alone and tell me only after it is done. You act first and speak later.
The word again rang in his mind. A memory forced its way in. Snow falling a courtyard a girl glaring at him eyes bright red speaking half a sentence. Where have you been if something happens to you I will remarry.
The rest was gone. He groaned pressing his temples his knuckles turning white.
Qingnian she said her anger vanishing instantly. She was beside him in an instant supporting his arm and pouring water her hands trembling. Is it your head again sit down please.
The pain faded and he opened his eyes seeing her pale face. He reached out and held her wrist. The way you looked at me just now he said his voice hoarse is exactly how you looked that day in my memory.
She froze the cup held halfway between them. I did not.
You did he said not letting go or pressing her only looking. I may have lost my memories but I have not forgotten what people look like.
The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. At that moment soft sounds came from the inner room.
Old Man Niannian stood in the doorway wrapped in his jacket rubbing his eyes his voice sleepy. Please do not go.
Who told you to get up Jiang Shuiying said pulling him close. Go back to bed.
Niannian hugged her neck rested his head on her shoulder and spoke clearly to Lu Qingnian. Mother is not truly angry. I saw her wiping her eyes secretly earlier.
Niannian Jiang Shuiying’s mind went blank.
He yawned and snuggled closer his voice growing softer. Mother misses you she has missed you for such a long time.
Jiang Shuiying stood there holding him wishing she could tuck him straight back under the covers. Lu Qingnian stood by the table his throat working until he could finally speak. He walked over and adjusted Niannian’s sleeve.
Sleep now he said trying to lighten the mood. Shuiying perhaps you could tell me some stories from the past.
It was a simple request but tears nearly spilled from her eyes. This was the first time he had asked about their life together.
Which time would you like to hear about.
When you were eighteen.
Jiang Shuiying smiled softly feeling some of the weight lift. Ah when you were eighteen you were so very brave.