Jiang Shuiying brought Xiulan back to the guesthouse. She gently cleaned and dressed the bruises then poured warm water so Xiulan could wash her face. Xiulan sat on the edge of the bed tears still falling repeating the same words over and over. I am so ashamed. I feel so ashamed.
Ashamed of what Jiang Shuiying said. Is it the one who strikes who should be ashamed not the one who gets struck. That makes no sense at all.
Xiulan lifted her head and looked at her eyes red and swollen. Jiang Shuiying tucked the blanket around her. Let me tell you something. Striking one’s wife is just like drinking liquor. Once you let it pass it happens again. If he breaks bowls today tomorrow it will be you the day after your child. When you endure it you hurt yourself and you hurt him. Sooner or later he will push too far and face discipline.
Xiulan fell quiet. Niannian leaned over the edge of the bed his large eyes fixed on the bruise. Auntie does it hurt. He thought for a moment pulled a piece of candy from his pocket fumbled to unwrap it and held it out. Here Auntie. Have some candy. It will make the pain go away.
Xiulan’s tears spilled over again. She took the candy and pulled him into her arms holding him close without speaking for a long time. Jiang Shuiying watched them and felt her own throat tighten. It is hard enough keeping one’s own home in order yet here I am looking after someone else’s.
The next morning Lu Qingnian did not join the morning drill. He rose half an hour earlier than usual. He washed shaved carefully and changed into a crisp uniform every button fastened neat and tight. As he stepped out his orderly followed. Sir are you going to the office or the canteen first.
Lu Qingnian did not answer. He turned naturally toward the family quarters. The orderly looked surprised but kept pace asking no questions. Morning mist still lingered and the sound of drilling carried across the parade ground. Smoke curled from chimneys in the family quarters where wives lit stoves the scent of cooking rice drifting through the air.
Lu Qingnian slowed his steps as he neared the guesthouse. He could not quite explain why he had come. He could not get the woman out of his mind the one who had stood firm against the drunken lieutenant with a small boy standing straight and steady behind her. Her eyes had been bright and clear like mountain stream water. He told himself he would simply pass by and glance then go. But his feet carried him forward.
The door stood ajar and voices drifted from within. Jiang Shuiying was kneeling by the wash trough sleeves rolled high revealing fair arms. The morning sun broke through clouds falling soft upon her cheek. She laughed as she spoke with another wife head tilted back and for one brief moment her eyes curved like crescent moons a small tooth showing at the corner of her smile. Her skin was fair and smooth unmarked by dust or wind. She is so beautiful he thought.
Lu Qingnian stood motionless watching from the doorway. In three years he had met many people nurses doctors girls who visited the base yet none had stirred him like this. It felt like warm tea on a cold autumn day spreading comfort through his chest like the first soft breeze of spring melting the chill away. He remembered her sharp fearless words the night before and now this gentle radiant smile. Which one is truly her.
Sir the orderly whispered from behind.
Lu Qingnian started and cleared his throat warmth rising to his face. He had never blushed in battle yet here he was flustered by a woman washing clothes. He stepped forward pretending to be passing by.
The wife standing beside Jiang Shuiying noticed him first wiping her hands on her apron. Captain what brings you here.
Jiang Shuiying paused her hands stilled in the water. She looked up and their eyes met. His face was strong and familiar exactly as she remembered. The cap brim hid his eyebrow and she could not see the scar but she stared transfixed her heart racing. Lu Qingnian opened his mouth the words I was just passing ready on his lips yet they would not come. He looked at her damp hands the stray lock of hair falling forward the soft smile still lingering and felt something stir deep within stronger than before.
About last night he began his voice tight. How are things. Is Xiulan doing well. He winced inwardly at how clumsy it sounded. A captain coming all this way just to ask about a lieutenant’s wife. Yet he could think of nothing else to say.
Jiang Shuiying stood dried her hands on her apron and smiled. Xiulan left before dawn. I think her husband will have slept it off by now so Niannian took two steamed buns over to them. She tilted her head. Did you come especially to find out.
Lu Qingnian met her gaze and felt his composure slip. He nodded. Yes.
That is good then she said. I do not believe Lieutenant Sun is truly bad at heart. He simply loses control when he drinks. Kind words from us will not be enough. The company must take this in hand.
She spoke clearly and calmly every point sensible. Lu Qingnian listened drawn to her in a way he could not name. He who usually spoke only in brief orders found himself searching for something more to say. You living here alone with your child is everything you need. Are you lacking anything at all.
Jiang Shuiying paused. She had not expected such kindness. He looks so like Qingnian especially the way he looks at one so earnest and sincere as though seeing right into your heart. Her breath caught. I have everything I need she said lowering her hands back to the water her voice softening. The other wives have been most kind and generous.
She could not hold back the question burning inside her. I must ask you something. Are you truly called.
Just then Niannian came running out holding an enamel bowl steaming hot his voice cutting across hers. Mother the water has cooled. Drink some now. He stopped short seeing Lu Qingnian. His eyes widened in recognition. Uncle. You were there last night.
Lu Qingnian knelt before the boy his heart softening. You brought water for your mother.
Yes Niannian nodded eagerly. She has been washing clothes since dawn and has not had a drink.
Lu Qingnian held out the bowl to Jiang Shuiying. Their fingers brushed as she took it. Both paused. His hand was warm rough and calloused. Hers was cool damp and scented with soap. He stood up his neck flushing red to the ears and turned to leave. I must go. Duty calls.
He walked away faster than he had come. The orderly followed quietly until they reached the gate then dared to speak. Sir.
Quiet Lu Qingnian said gruffly.
Back in his quarters Lu Qingnian sat pressing a hand to his chest his heart beating faster than after a five kilometer run. He thought of her smile her voice the way she had looked at him and every memory circled fresh and vivid. He had known fear in battle and in the hospital bed yet this was different. He was afraid of what he felt. She has come to find someone he told himself. She has a husband and a child. You must not think of her that way.