Washing dishes was fake, and doing laundry was just as fake.
It was all for show.
The bowls and clothes were already clean; soaking them in water was just a waste.
But there was no other choice. The compound was crowded with prying eyes, and in these times, it was hard to guess people’s intentions. One careless move could lead to being reported.
Fortunately, no one paid attention to the details. As long as it looked convincing, it was enough.
Sitting on the steps outside his door, Zhang Yuanlin absentmindedly scrubbed the clothes while his thoughts drifted to the matter of finding a wife.
Truth be told, Zhang Yuanlin had long entertained the idea of having a wife, children, and a warm home.
Especially during the winter, with a full stomach and contentment in his heart, the desire grew even stronger.
But Zhang Yuanlin knew his secret must never be discovered, and he didn’t want to enjoy life alone behind his wife’s back—that would feel like living as a thief.
So, when it came to this wife, Zhang Yuanlin had several requirements.
First, she couldn’t be foolish, or she would surely cause him trouble.
Second, she couldn’t be timid, or she would inevitably be bullied by the vultures in the compound.
Third, she couldn’t be lazy, or the act of pretending to be poor would fall apart.
And, of course, the most important requirement—a non-negotiable one—was that she had to be pleasing to his eyes. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to perform, and what kind of man would that make him?
As a vigorous and robust young man, he naturally wanted to make the most of his youth. At this moment, Zhang Yuanlin was brimming with energy but had no idea where to direct it. It was like trying to play cards alone—it just didn’t work. You needed two to make it worthwhile.
Moreover, Zhang Yuanlin had no immediate plans for children. Youth was fleeting, so he intended to enjoy a few years first. At the same time, he would make sure his wife played her part well in their act, avoiding any chance for the vultures in the compound to cause trouble.
Therefore, his wife absolutely had to meet several essential criteria: clever and quick-witted, eloquent, hardworking and capable, and young and beautiful.
As for Zhang Yuanlin’s side of things, he could offer a life beyond her wildest dreams.
For starters, the variety of delicious food in the Still World was something most people in this era couldn’t even imagine in their dreams.
Moreover, in the two years since his transmigration, Zhang Yuanlin had quietly built up a vast network of connections. His assets were countless—money, houses, cars, and shops.
The car was just a bicycle, and an old one at that. It had broken down in several places, and he’d pieced it back together with spare parts bought from various bicycle shops.
Of course, this was all part of the act.
But how could he ensure that the wife he married would be completely under his control?
Someone he didn’t know inside out always felt unreliable!
The more Zhang Yuanlin thought about it, the more he shook his head and sighed repeatedly.
Just then, a familiar voice rang out again.
“Hey, washing dishes and clothes again, huh? You know, out of all the households in this compound, I find watching you do it the most interesting!”
Zhang Yuanlin didn’t even bother to look up, replying flatly:
“Shazhu, if you find it so interesting, I can teach you. After all, in this compound, we’re two of a kind—both unable to get a wife.”
Shazhu flared up at once.
“Zhang Yuanlin, that’s bullshit! You’re the one who can’t get a wife. Don’t drag me into this! I have elders in my family!”
Zhang Yuanlin chuckled softly and said unhurriedly:
“Yeah, you have elders. But have you ever heard the saying ‘the elder comes before the younger’? Your old man hasn’t even gotten a wife yet. How could it be your turn?”
“It’s true, I don’t have elders, but I also don’t have a father waiting to get married. Otherwise, why would all your wages from work be handed over to him?”
The nineteen-year-old Shazhu stood there dumbfounded, his mind struggling to process the logic.
But once he figured it out, he strode toward home. Though he had originally come to visit Deaf Old Lady, he passed by her door without even thinking to check in.
In no time, cries of Shazhu being beaten and He Daqing’s scolding echoed from the central courtyard.
Faintly, it seemed He Daqing was saying something like: “Shazhu, you’ve got nothing better to do all day than dream about a wife, huh? Get the hell out and go wash the clothes!”
So that’s why Shazhu hits so hard—it’s all taught hands-on by his father, He Daqing!
“Heh, his brain wasn’t sharp to begin with. Isn’t this just making him dumber the more he gets beaten?”
Zhang Yuanlin chuckled and continued his act.
The aunties and middle-aged women in the compound took quite a while to wash clothes for their whole families. Though Zhang Yuanlin lived alone, he had accumulated a week’s worth of laundry, so it wouldn’t be done quickly.
After all, Zhang Yuanlin wasn’t a household chores expert—it made sense for him to be slower. That was reasonable enough.
But before long, another uninvited guest showed up.
“Tch, Zhang Yuanlin, can’t you act more like a man? We’re the same age, but here you are squatting, washing dishes and clothes. Not me, though—right now, my mom does my laundry, and soon my wife will. Not here to show off, just setting an example for you!”
Still not looking up, Zhang Yuanlin snorted and said:
“Jia Dongxu, if you’re getting married, just get married. Why come all the way to my door to say it? What, good buddy, you here to deliver me a wife or something?”
Jia Dongxu flared up at once and cursed:
“Pah! You shameless bastard! Deliver you a wife? Look at your situation—you think you deserve a wife?”
“Always showing off in front of me, acting like you’re so good-looking. We’re the same age among the younger generation in the compound. Now I’m getting married—you can hug your quilt and cry!”
Zhang Yuanlin finished scrubbing the last piece of clothing and finally lifted his head.
“What’s that supposed to mean? What’s my situation? Why can’t I get a wife? See behind me? Three rooms—the biggest and most in the whole compound, all under my name!”
“Unlike your place—just one room total. Your wife and kids will have to live crammed together. Step on someone like a rat when you get up at night—dare you tell your future wife that?”
It wasn’t that Zhang Yuanlin wanted to compete with Jia Dongxu; he just wanted to annoy him.
This was one of Zhang Yuanlin’s few pleasures in the compound over the past two years.
Just like how Xu Damao and Shazhu would be later on.
Plus, Jia Dongxu’s brains were as lacking as Shazhu’s—making him really fun to bully.
Sure enough, hearing himself insulted over room count, Jia Dongxu’s face immediately darkened.
Then, remembering what his mother Jia Zhangshi had said, he snorted:
“True, you’ve got more rooms. My mother said once I marry, we’ll use your place. Anyway, you can’t get a wife. Of course, even if you refuse, it’s fine—my mother will discuss it with the Three Great Uncles. Just wait to move out!”
Hearing this, Zhang Yuanlin felt a headache coming on. Good grief, is being single a crime these days? Why does everyone keep trying to scam me out of my house?
The key was that this was led by that old shrew Jia Zhangshi, who’d then get the Three Great Uncles to apply moral pressure—life was definitely going to get tough.
No, I’ve got to strike first on this.
But first, I need to teach this idiot Jia Dongxu a lesson!
So Zhang Yuanlin smiled and said:
“Heh, we’re neighbors in the same courtyard after all. Of course I’m happy you’re getting married—means I get to enjoy a celebratory drink! But is this really something urgent enough to consult the Three Great Uncles about? Your buddy’s right here—just talk to me!”
Seeing how reasonable Zhang Yuanlin was being, Jia Dongxu couldn’t help but chuckle.
“See? This is how a sensible person acts. So tell me, do you have any other requests? After all, we’re exchanging one of our rooms for three of yours—I don’t want you feeling shortchanged. But let’s not bring up money, that’d just strain our friendship.”
Zhang Yuanlin nodded in agreement.
“True, we’re neighbors—money talks would ruin the goodwill. How about this: help me wring out these clothes and hang them up while I think it over.”
Hearing this, Jia Dongxu immediately set to work with a cheerful heart.
Hanging clothes for someone in exchange for three rooms? Could such a heavenly deal really exist?
When he got home, his mother was bound to praise him for his brilliance!