Jiang Hua lay on the hospital bed, listening to the sound of rain outside the window, and slowly closed her eyes.
Her consciousness drifted in a haze. It was not until someone pressed down on her that Jiang Hua suddenly woke up with a jolt.
The light was very dim. She could not see the person on top of her clearly, but she could feel that familiar, scorching presence.
Jiang Hua was stunned.
Despite Xu Chenghuai’s cold, abstinent appearance, he was actually extremely enthusiastic about that matter and had not changed in the slightest even after decades.
And now, she was lying ill in bed, yet he still had the interest?
Jiang Hua was so angry that she laughed instead, raising her hand to push him away.
But her body was truly too weak. Instead, it looked more like half-hearted resistance.
She pushed him twice without moving him, but instead gave him the chance to pin her down. He suddenly pressed in close.
Jiang Hua: …
She did not know how long it had been before Jiang Hua was so exhausted that she could not even lift her fingers. In her dazed state, she seemed to hear a child’s voice speaking.
A thought abruptly flashed through her mind, but she could not grasp it, and her consciousness quickly sank again.
Dawn gradually broke. A ray of light pierced the horizon, passed through the clouds, and like a mischievous child, hopped its way in through the window, scattering flickering, mottled light across the floor.
The large bed was placed against the wall. On the pink bedsheets were dark red peony patterns, and the brown leaves were pressed beneath Jiang Hua’s body.
Jiang Hua moved slightly, frowned, and opened her eyes.
Then she blinked, her gaze fixing steadily on the fabric sofa not far away.
Jiang Hua remembered that after they moved, they had replaced the sofa.
As something occurred to her, her eyes abruptly shifted elsewhere. She looked around, and familiar yet distant memories surged into her mind.
Jiang Hua’s heart began to race uncontrollably. With a dazed expression, she reached out and pinched herself.
This was not a dream?
This really was the house they used to live in!
Realizing this, Jiang Hua propped herself up and sat up, got out of bed and put on her shoes, then walked to the dressing table and picked up the red-framed mirror on the table.
A familiar face appeared in the mirror. Even though she was mentally prepared, Jiang Hua still froze, not knowing how to react for a moment.
This was clearly her appearance when she was young. Her skin was fair and delicate, and her pair of almond-shaped eyes was moist and bright, clear and pure.
Jiang Hua raised her hand and touched her cheek, her emotions in complete turmoil.
Suddenly, a child’s laughter entered her ears.
She could not help but look over.
A child?
Right. Her children!
Jiang Hua hurriedly opened the bedroom door and walked out quickly.
The room was on the left side of the second floor. Upon stepping out was the stairwell. She walked down briskly, and just as she reached the entrance to the main hall, she saw Xu Chenghuai carrying a large sea bowl as he walked out of the kitchen.
Behind him followed two children who looked to be around three years old.
Jiang Hua’s eyes immediately turned red, and she almost burst into tears.
Xu Chenghuai was the youngest researcher at the Qinhai City Research Institute. He was intelligent and capable, highly valued by his superiors, handsome in appearance, and from a well-off family.
She, on the other hand, was just a countryside girl who had taken the college entrance examination but failed to get in.
After marrying Xu Chenghuai, she had always felt deeply inferior. She lived cautiously, afraid that she would embarrass him and be unable to hold her head high.
As a result, when it came to raising the two children, she was also overly careful and strict, afraid of being laughed at. This caused the two children to bear grievances and pressure they should never have had, and they harbored deep resentment toward her.
In the past, she had gone down the wrong path and gotten stuck in her own head. From now on, she would not.
Life was her own. How others looked at it did not matter. As long as she and her children lived happily and joyfully, that was enough.
Jiang Hua stood there in a daze, her eyes reddened as she looked at the two children.
Xu Chenghuai could not help glancing at her and frowned. “What’s wrong with you?”
The two children also looked at her in surprise, but neither of them stepped forward.
Jiang Hua’s gaze dimmed for an instant. Just how harsh had she been toward the children for them to be so distant from their mother at the age when they needed her the most?
She looked at the two children and casually found an excuse to explain. “I dreamed that Yunkai and Yunshu were gone.”
The two children were twins. Yunkai was the older brother and, like Jiang Hua, had a pair of bright almond-shaped eyes. However, overall he resembled Xu Chenghuai more. The younger sister, Yunshu, was a smaller version of Jiang Hua.
Xu Chenghuai walked past her. “It was just a dream.”
The two children followed behind him. Jiang Hua’s gaze followed them. “Fortunately, it was only a dream.”
There was an unmistakable note of relief in her voice, as if she had finally let out a huge sigh of relief. Xu Chenghuai could not help but turn his head and glance at her, a trace of surprise flashing through his eyes.
The father and the two children entered the dining room. Following her hazy memories, Jiang Hua picked up the toothbrush that belonged to her and brushed her teeth while looking around.
They were still living in the courtyard in Qinhai City.
Qinhai City was a small city. In the past few years, factory buildings had been constructed and the areas were divided into zones. Several large residential compounds nearby were interconnected. Apart from people who worked at the research institute, there were also workers employed at the surrounding factories.
However, relationships among everyone had never been good.
One side felt that the other had no education and was ignorant and uncultured, while the other side believed the former were aloof and looked down on people. The two sides were extremely incompatible, like fire and water.
In her previous life, Jiang Hua had suffered quite a bit of this bitterness.
After she finished washing up, the father and the two children had already set out breakfast.
Golden, fragrant fried eggs, thick and soft white porridge, and a plate of emerald-green, refreshing blanched vegetables all came from Xu Chenghuai.
Speaking of it, throughout the several decades of her marriage to Xu Chenghuai, as long as he was at home, he had never asked her to make breakfast.
Besides that, he handed over his salary, had no bad habits, did not fool around, and was especially patient with the children.
He fulfilled his responsibilities and obligations as a husband and a father. It was just that Jiang Hua had been too greedy, wanting to enter his heart. In her previous life, she had been cautious of Xu Chenghuai in every matter and endured countless grievances. In the end, she did not gain even a shred of care and instead grew distant from her children as well.
Jiang Hua tugged at the corner of her mouth. Since that was the case, why should she still care about him?
What was past was past. In any case, from now on, she would never wrong herself again. She would live however she was happy, and enjoy herself however she pleased.
The two children were still not very proficient at using chopsticks. Jiang Hua picked up some eggs and put it into their bowls. “Eat slowly. Don’t rush.”
Yunshu immediately smiled, very happily picking it up and putting it into her mouth.
Yunkai, however, lifted his head and glanced at her, pressed his lips together, and without saying a word moved the egg into his younger sister’s bowl.
Yunshu froze for a moment, then looked at him with wide, innocent eyes and asked in a soft, childish voice, “Brother, why aren’t you eating?”
“I don’t like it,” Yunkai replied awkwardly. His expression was unnatural, as if deliberately avoiding looking at Jiang Hua.
Xu Chenghuai paused with his chopsticks and glanced at Jiang Hua, his brows furrowing.
Jiang Hua knew he was about to lecture their son again. It had always been like this before, and the result was that their son neither grew close to her nor got along with him. The father and son were like enemies.
She hurried to speak before him. “If he doesn’t like it, then he doesn’t have to eat it.”
Xu Chenghuai pressed his lips together.
Yunkai secretly glanced at her. Jiang Hua noticed it and mischievously smiled at him.
Seeing that he had been discovered, the little fellow felt embarrassed. He tensed his immature little face and pretended to be calm as he let out a “hmph.”
Jiang Hua raised her eyebrows and smoothly withdrew her gaze.
After breakfast.
Xu Chenghuai prepared to go out and looked at Jiang Hua. “I’m going to the research institute.”
Jiang Hua was helping Yunshu tie her hair. Hearing him, she did not lift her head and absentmindedly responded with an “mm.” The little girl’s hair was fine and soft, and she was afraid of tugging at her scalp and hurting her.
Xu Chenghuai frowned.
He could sense Jiang Hua’s deliberate neglect, but he could not figure out the reason.
Could it be that he had been too rough last night?
She never talked about her own feelings. Many times, he could only judge based on her reactions and expressions. Clearly, she had been quite immersed last night as well. There were still marks on his back that she had scratched out in pleasure.
Xu Chenghuai pressed his lips together and glanced at her again before turning and leaving.
The little girl was fair and adorable, with delicate braids on her head. The red ribbons set her off, making her look lively and lovable. Her pair of innocent eyes seemed to shine brightly, as if they could glow.
Jiang Hua could not resist kissing her once.
The little girl immediately lowered her head, shyly grinning, revealing a row of rice-grain-sized white teeth.
Seeing this, Yunkai, who was standing to the side, curled his lips and flung the dry grass in his hand into the air.
Jiang Hua caught sight of it, and a smile unconsciously rippled through her eyes.
“Let’s go. We’re going to buy groceries.”
She stood up, straightened her clothes, then went under the eaves to take the vegetable basket and hooked it over her arm.
The two children followed beside her as they went out.
Along the narrow, winding path paved with stone bricks was a half-open iron gate. On both sides stood tall weeping willows, their soft branches bathed in sunlight and intertwined with one another.
“Xiao Jiang, are you going out to buy things?”
A voice sounded. Jiang Hua instinctively turned her head to look.
The person was an auntie who looked to be around fifty years old. She had a round face with a smile and looked very easy to get along with.
Jiang Hua had a deep impression of her and immediately smiled. “Yes, Auntie Chen. Are you heading out too?”
“Yes. I haven’t bought today’s groceries yet.”
“So am I. I was just about to go take a look at the supply and marketing cooperative.”
The two chatted as they walked out together.
In her previous life, Jiang Hua had suddenly come down with acute gastroenteritis. She had been vomiting and had diarrhea, so dizzy that she could not even get out of bed. Coincidentally, Xu Chenghuai was not at home. If Auntie Chen had not come to look for her, she probably would have lost her life long ago.
It could be said that Auntie Chen was Jiang Hua’s lifesaving benefactor.
Jiang Hua was deeply grateful to her.
Unfortunately, something happened later.
Auntie Chen’s husband was a director at the research institute. It was said that Director Chen had been found to have taken money from enemies and leaked information. At the time, the matter caused a huge uproar. In the end, the couple committed suicide out of fear of punishment, bringing the matter to a close.
However, Jiang Hua later also heard that after undergoing multiple rounds of interrogation and investigation, Auntie Chen and her husband had never admitted to doing anything that harmed the country. They were originally about to be released, but they themselves could not think it through.
Moreover, Xu Chenghuai was also implicated in this matter because Director Chen was his teacher. As a result, Xu Chenghuai was suspended from his position and subjected to investigation.
Originally, after Director Chen’s departure, Xu Chenghuai had been the most likely to be promoted, but because of this incident, the position was given to someone else.
Jiang Hua did not know the truth of the matter. She simply did not really believe that Auntie Chen would do such a thing.
Carefully calculating the timing, this incident would occur as soon as next month.
Jiang Hua frowned slightly. Her gaze swept over Auntie Chen without leaving a trace, while in her heart she was weighing whether she should remind Xu Chenghuai.
After all, if Xu Chenghuai was investigated, she and the two children, as his family, would not be able to escape involvement either.
The two women chatted as they walked toward the supply and marketing cooperative, while the two children hopped and skipped ahead.
The morning sunlight was neither as scorching as midday nor as heavy as the afternoon. It carried a cool warmth as it spilled over the world, casting layers of dappled, shifting light and shadow.
Jiang Hua bought a piece of pork belly and two green peppers. Seeing that the marrow bones on display were fresh, she also asked for two marrow bones.
Just after paying, she turned her head and saw Yunshu with a greedy expression, her eyes fixed without blinking on the steaming meat buns in the bamboo steamer.
“Yunshu wants to eat buns,” Auntie Chen said with a smile, stepping forward to take the little girl’s hand. “Come, Grandma will buy some for you.”
Yunshu instinctively looked toward Jiang Hua, her round eyes full of longing.
Jiang Hua’s throat instantly tightened with sourness.
In her previous life, she had been cautious of Xu Chenghuai in everything, even when spending money. She pinched pennies for the two children whenever she could. Extra expenses like snacks had never existed.
With her stubborn fixation and the things she had overlooked, just how many grievances had the two children suffered?
“Auntie, how could I let you buy them?” Jiang Hua hurriedly stopped Auntie Chen. Without waiting for her to react, she turned to the sales clerk and said, “Comrade, two meat buns.”
Seeing that Jiang Hua was paying, Auntie Chen did not argue with her.
Then Jiang Hua caught sight of the bottles of Jianlibao[1]a popular Chinese soft drink jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_1539819_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_1539819_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], }); displayed in the showcase. After hesitating for a moment, she looked at the sales clerk. “Also, two bottles of Jianlibao.”
Auntie Chen could not help looking at her, the surprise in her eyes impossible to conceal.
Jiang Hua’s frugality was well known. Not just Auntie Chen, but everyone in the compound knew it. When she had offered to buy buns for Yunshu earlier, it was because she thought Jiang Hua would not be willing to spend those fifty cents.
Who would have thought that Jiang Hua would not only buy the buns, but would even be willing to buy Jianlibao, and buy two bottles at that.
One bottle of Jianlibao costs one yuan. Two bottles meant two yuan, enough to buy more than a jin of meat.
Auntie Chen sized Jiang Hua up, the surprise in her eyes deepening.
In her impression, Jiang Hua had always been timid and submissive. When she spoke, her eyes would flicker, and she did not dare to raise her head to look at others. People in the compound often mocked her privately for being unpresentable, saying that it was a pity Xu Chenghuai had married her.
Auntie Chen’s attitude toward her had always been different from the others, but even so, when she saw Jiang Hua make a fool of herself, she would still feel some regret on behalf of her husband’s prized student, Xu Chenghuai.
Yet at this moment, Auntie Chen could not see any inferiority or restraint in Jiang Hua. She was the same person, yet carried an inexplicable sense of ease and freedom.
Jiang Hua could sense Auntie Chen’s gaze. In the past, when being examined so freely, she would inevitably lower her head, hunch her shoulders, and do everything possible to avoid drawing attention.
But now, she revealed a faint smile and openly accepted the other’s gaze. Calm and unhurried, she took the buns and the Jianlibao and handed them to the two children.
The little girl was so happy that she grinned widely, while Yunkai tried his best to suppress the upward curve of his lips, his face full of an awkward expression.
The sunlight grew more intense. From the supply and marketing cooperative to the entrance of the compound was only a short distance, yet fine beads of sweat had already formed at Jiang Hua’s temples.
Auntie Chen was heavier and even more afraid of the heat. She fanned herself with her hand. “It really gets hotter every year. These days, the kitchen is like a furnace.”
Jiang Hua felt the same way. “If it really doesn’t work, just make a few quick dishes.”
“Even quick dishes take quite a bit of time,” Auntie Chen said, then looked at her again. “But you really are impressive. The midday sun is so strong, yet you still deliver meals to Xiao Xu. He really accumulated blessings over several lifetimes to have married you.”
Jiang Hua tugged at the corner of her mouth without answering, thinking that she had simply been foolish before.
Xu Chenghuai was a workaholic. Once he got busy with work, he would forget to eat. By the time he remembered, it was often already past mealtime, or he might not remember at all.
Because of this, he had even damaged his stomach and been hospitalized. After that, Jiang Hua began delivering meals to the research institute every day, regardless of wind, rain, or blazing sun, afraid that he would skip meals again and go hungry.
But even so, she had never received a single gentle expression from him. Each time, he would darken his face and tell her not to bring food anymore, fearing that people at the research institute would find out he had married a countryside wife and cause him to lose face.
Thinking about it now, even she herself looked down on the person she used to be.
Fortunately, she had come to her senses.
And fortunately, heaven had given her a chance to live again.
References[+]