“Well fuck,” I sighed.
“Tell me about it, a planar summoning quest already, in an Uncommon Dungeon, the later ones are gonna be way tough, right?” Francis said next to me.
I blinked, realizing that the warrior thought I was talking about the Dungeon quest. I nodded quickly, playing along with the idea my frustration was around that, instead of the ancient, possibly immortal embodiment of a universal constant speaking to me in riddles before thrusting me out into a Dungeon.
Why’d my sponsor need to be so dramatic? It might have been punishment, for my own sins and shortcomings, but no, surely not that. I was the picture of an obedient disciple.
“Nice duds,” Vasquez gave me an appreciative look. The mage himself was wearing some new robes too, red and silver wrapping him along with a large topaz pendant hanging from his neck. I could only guess that they gave him a boost to his magic spellcasting, along with some intelligence or willpower boost.
“Back at you,” I said with a grin. “Francis though, still rocking the bare chest look huh?”
The rage warrior flashed me a smile and began bouncing his pecks in front of me. “Don’t need to hide these gains for nothing.”
“Gross, please stop that,” Huwett rolled her eyes.
The ranger sported new leather armor and a slim quiver that was strapped to her right thigh. The armor itself was basic deep brown but trimmed in green. The System was still actively working to resize things, as every piece of everyone’s armor and clothes seemed to fit perfectly. Norton being the exception with his white robes hanging loose over his large frame.
Might be it just matches the style it knows we want it to have?
I thought as I looked out over the rest of the squads from the Guild.
About as ‘video-game medieval’ as I could imagine. No way this is how this stuff should functionally look.
Warriors in large platemail, rogues in dark black leather, and lavish mage robes were a common sight among them all. A couple of the warriors even had overly large shoulder pauldrons which seemed to offer a peripheral view hindrance more than any worthwhile protection. But then again, I was wearing Noble chic, so what did I know?
“Okay everyone, the quest says that there are five towers we need to target. More than likely, they are spread out all over the area,” he pointed out over the barren expanse that we all now found ourselves.
As far as the eye could see was barren ground, rocky without any visible vegetation. The landscape was about as even and smooth as a teenage boy’s face. Meaning there were hills and divots dotted about as if we were traversing a bone dry pepperoni pizza that had been left on the counter overnight.
All in all, not a fun time.
It also meant that we didn’t have much in the way of visibility for spotting wherever these towers were. As the rocky crags and large hills broke up the horizon and obscured most of the scenery.
“There’s one, over there!” One of the squad’s copper-rank members suddenly yelled out, pointing off in a seemingly random direction.
Everyone turned and squinted in near unison, trying to get a visual of what the man was looking at. Sure enough, the pointed top of a tall bare building barely poked its head over a large rocky section, giving away its position.
“Okay, so one tower found, four more to do,” Barry said. He turned back to the rest of the group which were already being cat-herded by the golden-pinned squad captains. “Kirk, your squad will go for that tower and clear it.”
A large, plate-armored man gave a salute, a thick bladed claymore sword appearing in his hand shortly after. Kirk then took off quickly with his squad, a lithe spear wielding woman taking the lead, which I assumed was their squad’s Huwett.
“The rest of us, we scout around and start searching for the other towers. Anyone who spots it gets to have dibs for their team,” Barry said.
A few smiles and quiet cheers went about the Hunters. It wasn’t the main reason Barry picked members for Paragon Guild, but everyone seemed to have a gamer’s instinct for loot and exp. The threat of death did little to quell that primal urge.
With Barry’s promise made, the roaches scattered to the dusty winds, climbing rocky spires and up hillsides in an attempt to get a better view, leaving Paragon Squad alone.
“You really know how to motivate them,” Norton said.
“Why are we standing here? If we don’t spot a tower, we will miss out!” Francis added quickly.
Everyone looked at the Rage Warrior for a moment, and Barry merely gave an apologetic grin. Francis deflated and looked at the dry ground between his feet. It appeared that Barry’s choice for guild members was more consistent than the paladin actually realized. Maybe it was all for the best.
After a few minutes, we heard loud shouts off in the distance, indicating that another Tower had been spotted. Only seconds later, Huwett was pulling a vibrating amulet from her inventory.
“Yes Captain Hall?” she spoke into the amulet directly. “Understood, your team is cleared to head out. Good luck.”
She put the amulet away and exchanged nods with Barry.
“What the hell was that?” I said.
Barry looked at me with a mischievous grin. “You don’t already know? Seems like you’ve always been the one who was quick on the uptake. It’s kinda nice knowing something System related that you don’t already know.”
“Come on.”
He waited a few moments longer, basking in my frustration, before finally answering. “It’s a Communication Amulet, uncommon item in the Dungeon Shop. Cell phones don’t work in here, but these do,” he pulled out an identical looking amulet from his inventory, flashing it at me. “System let’s you add contacts by touching amulets together, then you can call them, like a cell phone.”
Barry was actually underselling the item with this explanation. As it would turn out later, the Amulets could allow for discreet silent calls as well, those who were skilled with their use able to call and talk through a pseudo-telepathy. Further, the amulets could be handed over to someone else without losing their contact list, so they could be pre-connected and set-up for fresh Guild or Squad recruits and handed over.
This also meant, killing a Rift Hunter and getting their amulet let you call everyone that they connected with previously, making them also quite dangerous. Just like cellphones, having a personal and a business amulet kept separate would be a normal thing for many.
Yet, as usual, I’m getting ahead of myself.
“Wait, I’m Deputy-Head, do I not get an amulet?”
“Damn Angela, I knew we were forgetting something after all,” Barry shook his head.
Huwett rolled her eyes in annoyance, “He can live without one for a while. And he’s got credits, he can buy his own later.”
“Well hold on, standard issued gear is in the Guild bylaws isn’t it? And not mention—”
“Oh stop whining,” Vasquez chuckled, materializing an amulet and tossing it over at me. “It’s already preset with the contacts.”
I caught the item, and mentally poked at it, finding it was rather easy to use, all things considered.
[Communication Amulet (Uncommon), Contacts available:
Barry Schilling
Francis Dupree
Angela Huwett
Brandon Vasquez
Charles Norton
Clara Reedtz
Natalya Otsenshikova
Squeeks
Xander Greene
…
]
The list went on, containing every Guild Squad Captain, various staff members, as well one listing that strangely only read “Squeeks”. I thought about giving that option a ring just to see what happens, but ended up thinking better of it.
Reading the names told me that the amulets seemed to sync to a person individually, and that the entry of “Squeeks” meant you could choose how you showed in a contact list. I looked, and found the setting by mentally poking around in the amulet’s magic. Sure enough, I felt I could change how I showed in other contacts containing this amulet.
I left it as my name regardless.
“So you guys were just messing with me?” I finally caught on.
“Nah, just testing your willingness to engage in Guild stuff,” Huwett said. Her tone was still friendly and even, but I could see her nostrils flaring, as if she were angry.
“Huwett and I disagreed on whether you would ask for an amulet, or stay silent to avoid your guild responsibilities,” Barry said.
“Sorry,” I vanished the amulet into my inventory as I gave the ranger a shrug. She might have lost the bet, but not because she was wrong. I did, in fact, want to avoid guild duties, but she underestimated my internal loot gremlin. A mistake no one should ever make.
“Well, if that’s all over, lets get looking too, there are five towers, which means unless we just wait for the other squads to do everything, one of them will still be ours,” Huwett said quickly, an obvious attempt to change the subject.
“Sure, sure, let’s go,” Barry said, holding out a hand to her and wiggling his fingers. Huwett slapped his hand away, but I could have sworn I saw a flash of a skill card pass between them at the moment of contact.
“Hurry up then,” she took off at a fast click towards a seemingly random direction in the rocky waste.
Trusting the scout, I was the first to run after her, followed closely behind by Francis. The others fell in behind. Within five minutes, another team found a tower and started their journey toward it. The next took an hour to find, and then three more hours after that to spot the fourth tower.
The final tower wasn’t located until nearly twelve hours into the Dungeon dive, which meant by the time Huwett pointed out the building on the horizon, one sixth of the quest’s allotted time was already gone.
“The teams that have entered their towers have been relaying information over. So far, it looks like each of the towers have the same layout and the same defenses,” Barry yelled out over the wind as we all raced full-speed to the location in the far distance. “So, we probably didn’t lose that much time given we already have the guidebook.”
“Barry, did we ever have a conversation before about taboo things to say in videogames and dungeons?” I yelled back at him.
“No, why do you ask?”
I stared at the looming building ahead as we closed in on it. “Because you just jinxed the fuck out of us.”
“Nah, we’ll be fine!” He replied, eliciting a groan from Francis, Huwett and myself. “What?”
“Let’s just get this over with!”
We stopped just in front of the large wooden doors that were set in a sun-bleached grey stone, causing the blocks of rock which constructed the large nearly four hundred foot phallic exterior to appear as though the architect had demanded that all the stones be scoured with lasers beforehand. Lasers with their powerdial set to a level high enough to melt away SPF9000 protections.
The things were chalky white, alright, that’s what I’m telling you.
“Teams said the only entrance they found was the doors. It’s not locked or trapped, but the first encounter is just inside.” Barry explained.
Huwett gave the building a once over with her eyes, “Well, I’d hate to waste more time trying things that have already been attempted. Let’s just get inside.”
“Sounds like a plan I can get behind!” Francis shouted happily as he strode forward and set his hand against the doors, his muscles bulging as he pushed.
It took a second, but the large slabs eventually began to move, swinging inward and allowing light to begin pouring in front from the sun outside. The sunlight gave enough visual of the inner stone flooring to confirm my theory about the laser-blaster architect, given the color difference between the inside and the outside.
“What’d the teams say the first encounter was,” I asked, just as Francis finished pushing the doors open.
“They said something about Goblins,” Barry said.
“Ah, motherfucker!”
1.25 Phallic Architecture