"....... No, that's not it....... This situation also happened because of that guy's personality problem."
Jung Tae-ui slowly turned his head. His nose, just freed from the soft pillow, finally breathed in the fresh air deeply.
Yohan said that Christoph wouldn’t attack first if left alone. This was probably something not only Yohan but others also knew.
"Then why did he poke first....... The one who poked knowing that is the fool."
Jung Tae-ui sighed deeply. Suddenly, Christoph's indifferent face came to mind.
Indifferent, or rather, a disinterested face. More precisely, an expression that says everything is meaningless, no interest anywhere, just boredom.
That face didn’t change even the moment a man’s hand was placed on a heated iron plate and cut with a butter knife.
He hesitated no moment to harm others, and neither hated nor enjoyed such acts. Jung Tae-ui thought it might have been better if at least a sneer or pleasure were mixed in.
"Troubled everywhere....... Well, Kyle did say it wouldn’t be easy, so it can’t be an easy thing."
Jung Tae-ui sighed again until the bed sank beneath him.
Kyle... This is too exhausting, can I just go back... muttering to himself, Jung Tae-ui opened his eyes again.
"Ah. I should call Kyle."
Come to think of it, he only briefly thought about calling earlier and hadn’t contacted yet.
He felt he should inform Kyle that he arrived safely and met Christoph.
Moreover, he wondered if there was any contact from Illye—if there was, whether things were properly explained—this also worried him.
Though he thought to call, the bed held his whole body, refusing to let go. How nice it would be if he just fell asleep like this.
The phone lay on the bedside table right next to the bed. To reach it, he only needed to get up and stretch out half a step, but that felt as difficult as completing a triathlon.
"......"
When was it?
Once, after completely turning over the backyard with Peter, he spent the whole day groaning and lying down after renovating it. Lying still like this, he asked Illye to pick up the phone because he had to call somewhere, but that guy just stared blankly and dragged Jung Tae-ui to put him in front of the phone.
Back then, he had grumbled about bothering others, but now he wished Illye would do the same...
"I don’t know where that guy is or what he's doing right now."
He hadn’t been that curious until he suddenly said it aloud, and then a sudden curiosity surged. Since starting to live with that guy, it had been more than half a month without a separation.
"....... I miss that guy sometimes......"
Muttering that, Jung Tae-ui frowned slightly.
If he came home later than that guy—if when he returned, that guy stood firm at the doorway to greet him—that longing feeling would vanish completely.
"Where did I put that guy’s book....... Maybe it would be better to just steal it all and run away like Kyle said."
Jung Tae-ui muttered in a troubled voice, then groaned and finally got up.
What’s the Berlin area code again? Faintly remembering, he tilted his head and pressed the numbers carefully. Fortunately, it seemed to be the right number. Kyle's familiar voice came from the receiver.
"Tae-i?"
"Yes. How did you know—ah, the number must have shown up."
Jung Tae-ui pulled the cord of the receiver and lay back on the bed. Lying flat, he took off his shoes one by one with the other hand.
"Did you meet Christine well?"
"Ah, yes, fortunately without any big problems—ah, wait, about that title." Get faster updates on g.com.
Only then did Jung Tae-ui remember one problem he had to raise and furrowed his brows.
"You should have warned me beforehand that calling her by that name means you have to prepare for flesh flying off from the whip!"
"......Ah."
Kyle muttered after a pause, as if suddenly remembering.
Jung Tae-ui’s strength in his already tired body weakened even more.
"Kyle... I thought you were the only one on my side..."
As Jung Tae-ui murmured gloomily, Kyle hurriedly defended himself from the receiver.
"No! No! I’ve known that guy since childhood! When he was young, he was really pretty like a girl. So, even if I mistakenly thought Chris was short for Christina, you can’t just blame me for that. I only learned his real name was Christoph after it stuck in my mouth that way. And I’m not the only one! Changin also said to me after first meeting him, that Christoph suits him less than Christine!"
"Still, I can’t use that excuse on Christoph. Should I say 'You look like that, so I just called you Christina, sorry'...?"
"....... Please find my books safely and intact......."
"Right?"
Jung Tae-ui narrowed his eyes, glaring at the phone, then sighed deeply, exhausted.
"So......, has there been any contact from Illye in the meantime?"
After all, he left Berlin this morning. It seemed unlikely that a person who barely informs anyone would suddenly contact during the day, but he asked just in case.
"Oh, right. Yeah, there was."
"......"
He hoped no contact came until he found his books and returned home without anyone realizing he had left. Well, after boldly declaring that he would leave, maybe that was too much to ask.
"What did he say... did he explain well?"
Jung Tae-ui asked, clutching his pounding heart. No matter how well it was explained, the future was worrying, but he wanted to survive without incident if possible.
"Ah...... well..."
Kyle’s voice trailed off ambiguously, and Jung Tae-ui’s heart dropped.
"Please don’t tell me he just heard I left and hung up!"
If he misunderstood and didn’t clear it up, he’d seriously have to worry about the future. Like last time, there was no guarantee that the other side wouldn’t shut him up and cause a mess before he could explain.
"No, that’s not it. He called, but I couldn’t answer."
Kyle said awkwardly, and Jung Tae-ui almost dropped the phone but barely held on.
No, it’s okay. It’s better than being misunderstood and cut off. Not knowing at all that he left home might even be better.
Calming his pounding heart, Jung Tae-ui asked again.
"So, no contact then?"
"Yeah. But... there was a missed call. A message left for you."
But then Kyle hesitated and dragged out the words, giving Jung Tae-ui a bad feeling again.
"If you leave, you’ll die."
"......"
"......"
Kyle’s message overlapped with Illye’s voice. The chilling feeling whispered right next to him, running down his ear to his neck and along his spine.
"If he calls again, I’ll explain it well."
"Please, take care of that."
"Yeah. ......Don’t worry too much. I’ll never think you ran away from that guy."
"Let’s hope so."
"No, believe me."
Feeling sorry for the discouraged Jung Tae-ui, Kyle spoke firmly with a strangely forceful tone. Jung Tae-ui smiled bitterly. Kyle was someone he could definitely trust with the matter, but somehow this time felt unconvincing.
Still, looking back over the past few days, Illye had been very quiet. Maybe his personality had improved a lot. Maybe he had become more human.
Holding a faint hope, Jung Tae-ui exchanged a few more words with Kyle, then hung up.
"......"
After staring at the receiver for a long time, he suddenly tossed his body, covering his face with the pillow. Muttering, "Ah—I don’t know, don’t know, don’t know," he pressed the pillow down.
Not even noticing he was suffocating, Jung Tae-ui stayed like that for a while before suddenly sitting up with a jerk. Then he took a deep breath.
"No. Let’s think positively. The fact that he doesn’t know I’m not home yet. Right, since I said I’d return in a month, if I find the books and leave before then, it’s all good. ...... Yeah. Sorry, Kyle, but if things get bad, I’ll leave before the month’s up, books or no books."
Tapping the area above his heart, Jung Tae-ui tore at his hair.
With such nerve, what kind of mind did he have to decide to leave that guy? If he hadn’t said that, his heart would feel even a little lighter now.
But as always, regret is always too late no matter how early.
Sometimes when dreaming, you realize, "Ah, this is a dream."
Usually, in such cases, waking up is not difficult. It’s a relief to recognize a nightmare as a dream.
But when it’s not a nightmare, even if you realize you’re dreaming, you don’t necessarily try to wake up. Thinking "It’s a dream," you still move within the situation. It’s a strange feeling but not a bad one.
That’s how it is now.
For no reason, he suddenly thought, "Ah, I am dreaming now."
But in front of his eyes, the sky was clear and distant blue, the fresh scent of freshly grown grass was pleasantly fragrant, the breeze blowing just right was cool, and there was no shadow in his heart.
Why wake up from such a vivid yet peaceful dream? He stretched lazily, then suddenly realized.
Once before, there was a time like this. On a day with exactly such nice weather, lying in the shade of a tree in the backyard, calmly tossing and turning and enjoying the leisurely time.
This dream reflected past memories perfectly.
"Ah...... the sky looks like it would shatter with a sharp crack if you threw a stone."
He had once muttered this as a pleasant, drowsy soliloquy. Yes, that’s right. What happened next?
He didn’t constantly recall every big or small thing from the past. He lived forgetting trivial matters without retrieving them from memory.
So seeing such trivial forgotten things again like this was also a strange feeling.
He squinted and stared at the sky for a long time, then sighed in satisfaction and got up with a sniffle. His throat was dry, and he was starting to get tired of lying down.