Where Is Your Bottom Line?
I was indeed somewhat flustered.
Because I knew very well – if anyone else had committed similar eavesdropping behavior, they would already be dead or on their way to being dead by now.
Though past experience told me this would likely be another case of “much thunder but little rain”… it still remained uncertain.
After all, I still hadn’t figured out why Boss Gin was so lenient with me to this extent. I didn’t even have a reasonable hypothesis.
Well, except for true love.
But if that really was the answer, then he must be really strange… Did he particularly enjoy the feeling of having his blood pressure rise? As the saying goes, is there only a thin line between sadist and masochist?
This train of thought actually helped ease much of my original tension.
As the saying goes, the most terrifying thing is human imagination itself. There’s no benefit in overthinking about things that haven’t happened yet, so I simply set the matter aside and began discussing her research progress with Miyano Shiho. Our conversation eventually strayed to the experiments we had each conducted.
Although I didn’t like pharmaceutical research, I had done quite a few experiments in biology.
Holding a petri dish with Bacillus subtilis colonies, I showed a thoughtful expression: “Sherry, if I gave this as a gift and said I wanted to show someone snowflakes, do you think they’d be touched?”
The Bacillus subtilis colonies visually resembled spreading snowflakes.
I personally thought they were quite beautiful.
“…” Miyano Shiho rolled her eyes and said in a calm tone, “If the recipient studies biology, there’s a certain probability they might find it romantic. But if it’s who I think you want to give it to, I think the higher possibility is that they’d hit you over the head with the petri dish.”
“Boss Gin would never…” I started to say he would never hit me, but after some thought, decided to be more precise and changed my statement: “Boss Gin has never hit me with anything before!”
Then I received her speechless look that seemed to say “That’s nothing to be proud of.”
I felt that because I had gotten too close and familiar with Miyano Shiho, the frequency of her sarcastic remarks toward me had increased.
Miyano Shiho came over to take the petri dish from my hand and put it away: “Anyway, I still don’t understand your relationship. Do you like Gin?”
“Hmm… that’s hard to evaluate.” When this question was mentioned, my expression also became somewhat complicated as I honestly summarized: “My feelings for him are a combination of dependence, doubt, and subtle possessiveness. It doesn’t feel like it can be simply categorized as liking.”
Dependence born from being unconditionally protected;
Doubt arising from not understanding why I receive unconditional protection;
Possessiveness derived from the insecurity caused by this dependence and doubt.
Miyano Shiho’s expression was subtle: “Is this the result of your psychology studies?””
Me: “No, this was the conclusion I reached when my neighbor and I went to see a psychic for divination back in America. As the saying goes, the end of science is theology.”
Miyano Shiho: “…”
She seemed to have completely given up on this topic, falling silent as she opened the drawer beside her, took out a box, and tossed it toward me.
I caught it with one hand, opened the box, and my eyes lit up – it was a KGB badge! And it was a design I didn’t have in my collection yet!
“Weren’t you collecting these before? I happened to see it while browsing second-hand auction sites and bought it for you.” After speaking, Miyano Shiho showed a somewhat puzzled expression. “Speaking of which… why do you like the KGB so much?”
I closed the box, put the badge in my coat pocket, and asked with a grave expression: “Sherry, do you know what kind of organization is the best?”
“You’re not going to say it’s like the KGB, are you?” Miyano Shiho half-opened her eyes. “Putting aside this organization’s mixed reputation, the Soviet Union has been dissolved for over a decade.”
“Exactly! Precisely because the Soviet Union no longer exists, that’s what makes the KGB faction the best organization!” I declared righteously, clenching one fist with shining eyes, speaking passionately. “No restraints, no commands, simply left with the lingering glow of ideals burning in solitude – can you find any organization better than this?”
Miyano Shiho didn’t share this view.
She thought I was having another episode of my adult-onset chuunibyou and kicked me out of her laboratory to get back to work.
I sighed at her lack of understanding, put on my headphones, fastened my coat buttons, and entered the door code.
Hmm… still feels like the security here isn’t sufficient enough. I’ll upgrade it later with iris and fingerprint scanners – the funds can be deducted from this research institute’s budget.
When I exited the research institute, I saw that familiar black Porsche already parked there.
I walked over at a leisurely pace. As I approached, the driver’s side window rolled down, and those emotionless jade-green eyes looked over: “Get in.”
…It was surprisingly rare to see Gin himself driving! My gaze immediately sharpened.
Could it be that he’s finally had enough and wants to dispose of my body…
This thought surfaced briefly before I dismissed it – no way, I’m too useful! And he doesn’t seem particularly angry either…
With some hesitation, I got into the passenger seat and preemptively showed appropriate concern: “Is Vodka okay?”
Did he fail to pass my little test and get executed? That can’t be, right?
The silver-haired young man in the driver’s seat had a cigarette in his mouth, lit it one-handed with a lighter, and glanced over: “He’ll be more okay than you are.”
“What?” I showed an incredulous expression, feeling somewhat indignant. “On what grounds? I discovered their security vulnerabilities through my own abilities!”
This isn’t fair! I want to appeal!
“Natsume Natsuki, I’ve told you before – if your little antics interfere with the mission, I’ll kill you.”
…But I didn’t interfere! I was on complete silent mode just listening to the audio!
Normally I would voice such thoughts in rebuttal, but from these two sentences I could already tell Gin wasn’t actually going to take action against me. Because if he could take action, he definitely wouldn’t bother talking.
Feeling suddenly relieved, my rebellious nature kicked in.
I looked at him, leaned my head back, adopting a completely resigned posture, and said calmly: “Then kill me.”
Gin glanced at me – probably accustomed to seeing me in this state – not even showing an angry expression, but said coldly: “Other than acting tough with your own people, what else can you actually do?”
…That’s slander.
While I may not be a workaholic like Gin, I genuinely have plenty on my plate. Especially since Vermouth’s base is in the U.S.—I have to assist our intelligence unit and other operatives with their disguises, record and verify the authenticity of acquired intel, oversee personnel transfers and equipment upgrades in the Organization’s research institute, and painstakingly draft funding request reports… I handle quite a lot! And the variety is extensive! Otherwise, how could I get away with inflating expenses every time without the higher-ups batting an eye? Our Organization isn’t a charity!
But I won’t respond normally as usual. After all, we’re in the middle of a cold war!
So, I just replied in a sarcastic tone, “Oh, so I can still be a nuisance to people!”
This time, Gin ignored me and averted his gaze. “Since you’re so fond of eavesdropping, go investigate if there’s anything suspicious about the recent recruits.”
…There it is! Dumping tasks on me! And it’s the type of mission I detest the most!
I was just about to use the research institute as an excuse to weasel out of it when he added mockingly, “I’ll give you some leeway—find them within a month.”
It took me a moment to process what he meant.
My mood and expression instantly turned complicated. What exactly do you want from me? To find someone who can replace you in the Organization, or someone who can replace you in… entertaining me—wait, no—protecting me?!
The former seems utterly impossible, but the latter… that’s just too bizarre!
I had already ruled out the “true love” option, but now I can’t help wavering again… Seriously, where is your bottom line?! I just can’t figure it out! Gin, do you actually have some kind of special preference in that area?! If you do, just say it! It’s not like I can’t play along!
Another round of probing concluded.
I still haven’t found the limits of Gin’s tolerance toward me, but I feel like I’ve stumbled upon some shocking possibilities.
After a long silence, I couldn’t hold back anymore.
After eliminating all impossibilities, what remains must be…
“Actually, about why you’re so lenient with me, Gin… I have a theory.” I lowered my voice, paused, steeled myself, and furrowing my brows, added the second half: “It’s also the secret I planned to take to my grave.”
The car screeched to a sudden halt by the roadside. Under the glow of the streetlamp ahead, I could barely make out the expression hidden beneath the shadow of his hat.
He tilted his head slightly toward me, his face as emotionless as ever, but having known him for years, I could sense a shift in his demeanor.
His gaze felt unfamiliar—appraising and judgmental—giving me an inexplicable chill.
But before I could delve deeper into the reason behind this change, he gave a slight nod and commanded, “Go on.”
Since I’d already decided to go all in, I deliberately ignored that subtle sense of danger and continued speaking in the same hushed tone, voicing my speculation.
“My theory is… actually, my parents were KGB agents. They weren’t responsible for any external operations – their sole duty was to maintain records, preserving and passing down the truth and documents. After their accidental deaths, this responsibility fell upon me. Especially after the KGB dissolved, this mission became practically the only goal for all exiled agents. And you, A Zhen, were their colleague, which is why you constantly look down on me yet feel obligated to protect me absolutely due to this sense of duty! This is also why you tolerate Vodka despite his unremarkable capabilities and frequent minor mistakes – because he’s Vodka!”
After saying all this in one breath, I looked up at him and threw him a determined knowing glance, my expression carrying a hint of expectation awaiting confirmation.
Gin: “…”
I spoke weakly: “Don’t look at me like I’m an idiot. I’m very smart – I’ve taken IQ tests at authoritative institutions, twice. You were present during the second one too.”
The other party remained silent, expressionlessly withdrew his gaze, started the car, and stepped on the accelerator.
I continued tugging at his sleeve and muttering: “Don’t ignore me. Even if you’re going to ignore me, at least give some reaction. Don’t act like you’ve completely given up on me.”
“Let go. Shut up.”
“Oh.”