My Body Isn’t That Resilient
I knew Gin was the controlling type, and I expected him to take complete charge during sex… but I never imagined the degree of control and dominance would be this extreme!
So extreme that I couldn’t help wondering if I’d done something recently to anger him, making him unleash all his pent-up frustration on me now. He praised my creativity and said he’d reward me, yet his actions and tone felt more like punishment.
But during the brief moments I could still think clearly, I desperately tried to recall—I’ve been so obedient lately, even well-behaved enough to deserve my own praise. I haven’t even attempted to run away from home!
For the first time, I noticed how cold the living room sofa felt… When my consciousness grew hazy, I looked up at the ceiling through tear-blurred vision. His shadow fell over me, blocking the light until I could no longer see it—only shadows swaying before my eyes, shattering the illumination until it spilled across the floor like water.
My fingers scrambled for purchase, and in that moment the leather sofa’s texture almost felt like human skin—tearing beneath my nails, cool at first before growing damp and warm with sweat.
And the bastard was such a hypocrite. He could grab my hair all he wanted, but when I grabbed his, I got spanked. He even looked down on my bedroom just because half my bed was covered with stuffed animals.
Well, since I ultimately managed to occupy his bed, I’ll reluctantly cross that last complaint off my grudge list.
I’m not even sure when the night ended. When I woke up, Gin wasn’t beside me.
Sitting up, I blinked confusedly for a while before my stalled brain finally rebooted and recalled last night’s events. Rubbing my messy hair, I pressed a hand against my lower abdomen and prepared to get up.
At least I’d woken in Gin’s bed. If he’d dumped me back in my room afterward, his room would have suffered my invasion—I’d have definitely moved all my stuffed animals onto his bed.
As for the door lock… I did study under the great magician Kuroba Toichi, after all, and received proper training in lock-picking. Though my Disguise Technique still needs work—I can’t smoothly alter my voice like Vermouth who can imitate anyone she’s heard—I’m definitely better than her at magic!
Yawning, I crawled to the edge of the bed and looked down, only then remembering my shoes were missing. Right, everything started in the living room, and I’d been carried here barefoot after my slippers fell off in the living room…
Pushing the covers aside, I stepped barefoot onto the floor. Finding my utterly ruined dress, I mourned it for three seconds. Though I’d chosen it according to Gin’s preferences, I’d actually grown quite fond of this dress. Who knew its lifespan would be so short… What a waste!
Obviously I couldn’t return to my room naked, so I took one of Gin’s jackets from his wardrobe, draped it over myself, and sneaked back to my room. After showering and changing into my own clothes, I collapsed face-down on my bed to collect myself.
“I should be allowed to skip work today…” I muttered, grabbing my phone to check messages. There was one from Vermouth.
I thought it might be some follow-up about the previous favor they asked me to help with. When I opened it… well… in a way, it was indeed a kind of follow-up.
“Gin asked me for the emails and timestamps from when I contacted you before. Babe, you haven’t been secretly doing anything bad, have you?”
“Where would I secretly do anything bad… ah.” I suddenly remembered—if we’re really talking about it… there was indeed that one time.
Back when Bourbon contacted me, not wanting any trouble, I directly said it was Vermouth… huh? Was it that time?
I fell into contemplation for a moment. Could this be the reason A Zhen seemed vaguely angry yesterday… so… was he jealous?!
I was shocked by my own conclusion, then immediately started praising myself—this proves my efforts are heading in the right direction! My previous methods are effective!
“But I shouldn’t celebrate too early. It could also be dissatisfaction with me lying to him…” I still rigorously considered multiple possibilities.
However, it’s not like I’ve never lied before. In fact, I’ve told quite a few lies growing up. That bottle of wine wasn’t opened by me out of curiosity, Vodka’s glasses weren’t broken by me, the “marry me” written on the beach that made three couples argue wasn’t written by me…
“…Whatever, I’ll just assume he’s jealous for now.” I decisively chose the interpretation most favorable to me, clenched my fist, and secretly resolved that I must make him willingly admit he likes me!
But… how did Boss Gin suddenly think to inquire about this? It’s been so long, and it’s clearly not something Vermouth would bring up voluntarily. He couldn’t suspect me without reason… ah, last night’s email!
So late at night, Boss Gin doesn’t have friends to begin with, and he wouldn’t casually give out his contact information. Aside from mission-related messages, the only ones who could possibly email him besides me would be…
“Vodka.” After getting through, I lowered my voice, my tone carrying a subtle threat. “You know why I’m calling, don’t you?”
“…No! I don’t know!” Although Vodka said this, his tone and that suspicious pause beforehand betrayed him.
While spreading jam on my freshly toasted bread, I questioned him: “Stop pretending. If I’m asking you, it means I already have some information… it was you who snitched to Boss Gin, wasn’t it?”
True to form, Vodka immediately surrendered after just a little intimidation and bluffing from me.
But I thought he’d only reported me about looking for a Substitute—I didn’t expect it to be about something else.
“Huh? You were there that day?” I looked surprised, carefully thinking back before remembering that the park I went to was across from a bookstore… and the female idol Vodka’s been chasing lately happened to have a photo book signing and handshake event there.
“Aren’t you chasing after her a bit too eagerly lately? What if her reputation collapses? Are you going to cry at the moon all night again like last time?”
“I didn’t cry!” Vodka immediately defended himself, but didn’t forget what he wanted to say. “So what’s really going on between you and Bourbon? I thought the Substitute you mentioned was that new sniper…”
“Don’t overthink it. I just ran into someone familiar while helping Vermouth earlier. After that, it seemed like he was either interested in me or something I possess.”
“I see, so that’s… Wait! Then it’s not a misunderstanding either!” Vodka immediately became deeply concerned. “Cocoa Wine, you need to be careful. If someone from the Organization approaches you, they’re rarely doing so with genuine intentions. Most likely they’re after your personal value or trying to use you to undermine Big Brother…”
Vodka was truly long-winded, and his worries were completely unnecessary. Over the years, plenty of people have tried to use me, yet none have succeeded. He should know there’s no need to worry about me in that regard.
To be honest, I’m actually a bit worried about Vodka instead. Though he’s not a college student, he always carries this air of naive foolishness. While usually unimportant, if it surfaces during critical situations without any allies around—or worse, surrounded entirely by moles—he could unwittingly become the perfect accomplice for traitors.
“So, have you told Gin about this?” I interrupted him, speaking in a measured tone.
Then, Vodka fell silent.
I could practically feel him sweating bullets at that moment.
“A-About that… W-Well…”
Vodka started stammering, but I wasn’t angry. Instead, I said with genuine sincerity: “Thank you.”
After saying that, I hung up.
I genuinely appreciated Vodka’s unintentional assistance, hence the thanks; but I was also annoyed that he’d secretly reported on me, so I offered no explanation after thanking him—that should keep him anxious for a while.
Putting down my phone, I took a bite of bread and began contemplating my next move.
Since Gin hadn’t told me to stay away from Bourbon or stop my Substitute plan, I saw no reason to change my decisions. Last night’s events merely confirmed that he’s indeed interested in me. And if I actually get too close to someone, he does get anxious.
Honestly, realizing this made me a little proud. Acting all disinterested, but you couldn’t maintain the act after all!
Because of this, when he returned, although I greeted him with the usual “You’re back,” my triumphant expression was unmistakable.
Gin stood at the entrance, not immediately coming in, but frowning at me from a distance.
I stared back at him, my expression shifting to disbelief.
…Why does he seem resistant! Why that “I knew this would happen” exasperated look! Why act like last night was some kind of accident!? Stop pretending—you clearly enjoyed yourself multiple times and even finished inside!
I immediately ran over and jumped into his arms. Unlike before when he’d support my waist, this time he directly cupped my bottom to lift me up, and didn’t say “Stop messing around” either.
However, when he tried to put me down, I didn’t let go. Instead, I kept my arms wrapped around his neck, pressing close, and reminded him in a suggestive tone: “You should say you like me now.”
Gin didn’t even look at me, just warned in his usual tone: “Don’t push your luck.”
I’d expected this attitude and didn’t mind much, because he didn’t deny it either!
What I truly cared about was another matter.
“Then tell me the reason you’ve been protecting me since childhood,” I said in a casual tone, voicing my real intention while closely watching his reaction.
“…” The silver-haired young man paused, looked down at me, and after a brief stalemate suddenly wrapped his arm around my waist. Leaning slightly toward me with a meaningful smile curling at the corner of his mouth, he said, “You wouldn’t want to know, Natsuki.”
…He usually called me by my code name or full name, rarely addressing me so intimately. Precisely because of this, I could almost be certain he was telling the truth.
Which meant… this answer would fall into the category of things I disliked or even hated?
Though I was getting closer to the answer…
I released my hold and instead wrapped my arms around his waist, looking up at him: “So are we dating now?”
He seemed amused by my words, his smile becoming noticeably brighter for a moment: “No.”
Not angered, I demanded: “Then date me.”
This time, his smile faded slightly as he stared at me: “I told you, don’t push your luck.”
After locking eyes with him in a standoff for a while, I lowered my gaze to conceal my emotions.
I really wanted to bite his neck hard right now, but couldn’t help remembering last night’s events…
…Ugh, never mind, I’m not fully recovered yet. Damn, having too good a memory isn’t always a good thing. I didn’t want to reminisce, but the memories surfaced on their own.
Of course, this didn’t mean I wouldn’t do anything about my current displeasure.
Thinking about what I’d done before he arrived, I couldn’t help but smile and even chuckled twice.
“…What did you do now?”
“Nothing at all! You’re just too paranoid, A Zhen!”
I’d never tell him I secretly hid one of my bed plushies in his room, planning to smuggle in more bit by bit each day.
Someday, even Gin’s room will be transformed into my style! He can’t escape it!