Everything I Lost, I’ll Take Back
When I woke up the next day, Gin had already gone out.
I toasted some bread for myself and picked out clothes from the wardrobe while nibbling on it.
Actually, Gin wasn’t happy about living with me at first either, but he couldn’t withstand my persistent pestering. For some reason, even though he clearly seemed like someone who wouldn’t fall for such tactics, he ultimately gritted his teeth and compromised.
“Hmm… The Boss probably wouldn’t give such an order either,” I frowned thoughtfully, taking another bite of bread and muttering, “Even if they want to make full use of me, they don’t need to go this far. And Gin definitely isn’t the best candidate anyway…”
I definitely didn’t join the Organization voluntarily. The main reason was that both my parents were Organization members, and quite important research members at that. When I was six, a car accident caused my parents’ unexpected deaths, and as their orphan, I was officially taken in by the Organization.
It’s not that our Organization is particularly humane or takes care of orphans – it was simply because I was proven to be a genius with Hyperthymesia at a young age, possessing photographic memory and inheriting my parents’ research talents. The Organization likes cultivating people like me from childhood since they know all about my background. From what I know, similar situations aren’t rare in the Organization.
In the beginning, it wasn’t Gin who took me in, but Rum, the Organization’s second-in-command. Although he’s the second-in-command, I think aside from being sinister and paranoid, he doesn’t have much real ability. He maintains his position simply because he’s second generation Organization.
Yes, our Organization actually has this kind of feudal hereditary system. As the saying goes, wealth never survives three generations – I think our Organization will eventually collapse because of this.
Anyway, after Rum took me in, he was initially ambitious about training me to become some 007-style super agent… But because my physical abilities were too weak, my temper wasn’t great, and I enjoyed sarcastically mocking him, he eventually decided to pass me on.
The freshly adult Gin at that time became the unlucky one who had to take me in.
What happened after that, I’ve already mentioned before.
In summary: Gin good, Organization bad.
As the saying goes, behind every lawless person who still enjoys peaceful days, there’s someone carrying heavy burdens. And the person behind me is Gin. Without him, I could still grow up safely, but I’d have to be much more cautious.
So… I must find out the real reason why he tolerates me infinitely against his own will, and confirm whether this buff is sustainable. Only then can I truly enjoy peaceful days!
“Damn, this is such a headache…” I took a sip of juice and sighed deeply, then changed my expression, placed both hands on the table and stood up. “Alright, time to go to work!”
I should be considered part of the research group, but due to various reasons, my current position is quite messy, and the work I do is rather chaotic too.
However, the division of labor among our Organization’s core members has never been strictly defined. Basically, when a task is assigned from above, you have to do it. If you refuse, there are two scenarios: either you’re considered disloyal, disobedient, or so disobedient that you must be a traitor—then you get eliminated; or your superior understands your personality and believes keeping you is more beneficial despite minor setbacks, allowing you to atone through merit.
The last scenario applies if you’re high-ranking enough, especially as a second-generation member with significant face in front of the Boss, where even major mistakes aren’t taken too seriously.
There are many examples of the first type, I’m a typical representative of the second, and Rum falls into the third category.
So, our Organization’s management is pretty chaotic and lacks promising prospects. If Gin weren’t so hard to persuade, I’d have already rallied people to switch careers together.
But I know this isn’t something that can be achieved overnight—it needs to be taken step by step. Someday, I’ll convince him to jump ship with me!
Today, I need to meet up with Ireland for a handover and reactivate the cover identity I used three years ago.
To match today’s role, I deliberately altered my appearance: I styled my hair into twin braids and put on black-framed glasses, making me look like a somewhat nerdy, bookish honor student—a common type in high school.
All core members of our Organization have alcohol-related codenames, and Ireland is naturally one of them.
He joined after being adopted by an Organization member as a child, similar to my situation of being raised within the Organization since youth.
We get along fairly well, having collaborated several times before. Plus, with my Cover No. 1 set up as his adoptive father, we have a decent relationship.
“Don’t get crumbs all over the car!” Ireland glanced in the rearview mirror and immediately spoke up, complaining, “Does Gin even allow you to eat chips in his car? He’s quite protective of that vehicle.”
Munching on the limited-edition donut I queued up for on my way out, I retorted righteously, “Exactly. Since he doesn’t let me eat in his car, that’s why I’m doing it in yours.”
“…” Ireland fell silent for a moment, then gave up arguing and asked instead, “Are you in disguise today?”
“Nope, just changed my hairstyle, put on black-framed glasses, and used makeup to alter my look a bit,” I said slowly, using a napkin to catch the falling donut crumbs. “Disguise Technique can make you look completely different, but if something happens—like getting hit in the face—it’s too easy to expose. Since I plan to use this identity long-term, I can’t risk that.”
“You’ve had to pause your work at the research institute for now, right? After experiencing high school life, are you planning to go to university too?”
“No!” I refuted firmly, a hint of academic aversion showing on my face. “I started university at 14 and have had enough studying for dual doctorate degrees! I absolutely refuse to go back to school!”
“Ah, that’s right. You just returned from the US—did you get another degree there?” Ireland realized. “Last time it was engineering; what was it this time?”
I paused before replying, “Psychology.”
Ireland sounded puzzled: “Huh? Is it necessary to specifically get a PhD for this? Did the Boss require it?”
I gazed melancholically out the window: “No, it was Gin who demanded it.”
Ireland: “…”
An awkward silence instantly filled the car.
After a long pause, Ireland tentatively asked: “What exactly is your relationship with Gin?”
My expression shifted, brows furrowing as my face turned serious: “Why do you keep bringing up Gin? Trying to compete with me?”
“…Who the hell would want to!?” Ireland cursed irritably. “Stop joking around and changing the subject! You know perfectly well what I mean!”
That’s right, I knew.
Ireland’s confusion was shared by many in the Organization – the kind that would make you suddenly sit up in the middle of the night thinking “Wait, why though?”
But if even I didn’t know the answer, how could they possibly figure it out!
Thinking this, I sighed and looked at him, putting on a profound expression: “Do you really want to know?”
“…” Ireland’s expression turned somewhat more serious, his tone shifting slightly. “Yeah, what is it?”
Maintaining my previous expression: “Because I’m his true love.”
Ireland: “…”
After another awkward silence, Ireland spoke in a completely deadpan tone: “Oh, I see.”
Now it was my turn to fall silent, faintly showing some indignation. What’s with everyone looking down on me! Let me tell you, if I say I can win him over, I can win him over! Not just one Gin – I could handle two without breaking a sweat!
“Let’s not talk about this anymore.” Ireland, probably sensing the weird atmosphere, changed the subject. “By the way, there’s been development regarding the research institute matter.”
Since this was more important, I stopped dwelling on the past and regained interest: “Oh? What happened?”
Although many in our Organization have their own agendas, such a major security breach at the research institute was still quite unusual. After all, I’m considered part of the Organization’s core group.
“Him getting the weapon was a coincidence. There was a lapse during the guard shift change at the armory that day.”
I felt somewhat annoyed: “Are you saying I was just unlucky?”
“I didn’t say that… and you weren’t really unlucky, were you? Didn’t Gin come directly to rescue you?” Ireland sounded somewhat exasperated, glancing at the rearview mirror with a barely detectable probing tone. “Did Gin install some kind of tracker on you? How does he always manage to arrive exactly when you’re in trouble?”
Leaning my elbow against the car window, chin resting on my hand, I said lazily: “Like I told you, because I’m his true love.”
Ireland: “…”
Ireland: “Right.”
Me: “…” That tone was way too dismissive!
“But seriously, I looked into it yesterday – you’ve managed to make quite a few enemies in less than a week at that research institute. Is that really okay?” Ireland commented. “Is this dog-repelling personality of yours something Gin spoiled you into having?”
I couldn’t help giving him a “that’s a stupid question” look, declaring confidently: “Obviously! Stop asking boring questions!”
Wasn’t it precisely because I knew that no matter what trouble I caused, as long as I didn’t cross certain lines, someone would always have my back, that I could afford to be this arrogant!
But… I still haven’t figured out where that bottom line is.
To be honest, sometimes I get confused too, having this illusion of “Oh no, could I actually be his true love?”
Then I’d get sent away because I got too close to him.
That’s how I ended up getting my PhD in psychology.
But… this time I’m back for good! I must get a definitive answer!
“What’s wrong? Why so serious all of a sudden?”
“This time, I’m going to take back everything I’ve lost!”
Ireland: “…What have you actually lost? I feel like Gin has lost more though?”
I got angry: “What!? What has he lost? And he gained someone like me – a lively, adorable, genius beauty – what more could he possibly complain about?!”
Ireland: “…I think he might have permanently lost his peace of mind.”
Me: “…” Damn, what do I say? I can’t really argue with that!