Ash couldn't even register the words; his psyche was disintegrating by the second. His spirit tried to cling to the darkness around him, but his mind couldn't comprehend anything.
Something, anything, he begged for, and an answer came.
"Close thy eyes, little one. There are mercies that only darkness can grant."
The words were whispered in his ear, and Ash clung to them.
Regaining a bit of control, he instantly closed his eyes. Soon, phosphenes began appearing before him.
Ash couldn't have imagined that one day he would thank these useless, weird shapes he saw when closing his eyes. But then again, he didn't know he would dream of something this horrific, so it was all good.
Letting out a deep breath, he observed his surroundings while keeping his eyes closed. It wasn't just the absolute absence of light; the void was a sensory vacuum. No sound, no scent, no weight.
His skin felt like it had turned into something inorganic; there was no sensation in it. If that were not enough, he could feel his sense of time pausing as well.
'What a weird feeling this is!' Ash thought, not understanding where he had arrived.
For a second, he thought he had completed the trial, but that was impossible. The trial was nigh impossible to complete without awakening his Nexus, and he was far from doing so.
"Cast aside thy worry, little one. I am here, and while my gaze lingers upon this fragment of existence, no ill shall approach."
Suddenly, a voice spoke, and Ash almost opened his eyes.
"Do not seek to behold me… for the price of such sight is greater than you can bear."
Ash was confused by the reply but heeded it anyway. He wanted to face the direction where the sound was coming from, but he couldn't really identify it.
"Where are you?" he asked.
"I'm everywhere and nowhere simultaneously; no space or time is devoid of my presence… o' little one."
The reply came swiftly and a little cryptically.
"Hmm! Why are you talking like that? Can you say things more clearly… it's hard understanding the way you are wording things!" Ash muttered, annoyed by the figure of speech.
The being mused on his request and reached into Ash's mind. Comprehending his existence, he whispered in a coarse and ancient voice, "Is this good?"
"Yep, better… now can I know why I am here…" Remembering something, Ash corrected himself, "Did you bring me here?"
"Yes, child. I brought you here. To give you your boon."
"Boon… reward? What sort of, and wh—"
Ash was about to question the mental stability of the entity when a memory echoed in his mind. It was the words of the priest after the beheading of the first person.
/Rejoice... the sacrifice has been accepted. The god is happy today. Bring the other one./
The realization came suddenly, and then the floodgates opened. His mind turned blank, and everything he had experienced before felt small. Awe, fear, and peace arrived all at once.
"A-Are you perhaps the god?" The words barely left his lips, now completely humbled.
"Some call me that."
The voice carried no weight, yet it felt boundless, as if containing every piece of knowledge in the universe.
Hearing this, Ash gulped a mouthful of saliva. Even though he was never a religious person, a primal fear gripped his existence. It felt natural to bow toward him, but Ash controlled himself.
Then his thoughts drifted back to the past, remembering the needless suffering he and Jenna had endured. Ash had always felt a little hatred for the world and the people living in it.
Even though he never believed in a god, he had made himself a promise: if such a being truly existed, one day he would ask 'Them' a question.
But before that question, he had to make something clear. Lifting his head, he looked in no particular direction and opened his mouth.
"Are you a good god or a bad one?"
"Define good or bad?"
The reply came instantly, 'They' completely unbothered by the question. In fact, he sounded mildly amused.
"Good is someone who does good things for others... so that because of them, others don't have to suffer. Bad is the complete opposite of that."
Ash wasn't a philosophical person, so this was the most he could come up with on the spot.
"Oh? And how do you define suffering?" 'They' mused. "Tell me, whose suffering is more justified to you than another's?"
"Whose suffering is more justified… what kind of question is that? Of course, no one's agony is."
Ash answered without thinking. If there is a being who is omniscient, there shouldn't be any suffering to begin with.
"Then, the man you killed… what about his pain? Is that justified?"
Ash was about to nod his head when he stopped himself. He quickly realized that 'They' were trying to corner him in a trap. Smiling, he rephrased himself.
"No, let me be more clear…. A good person is someone who wouldn't cause harm without a reason. Like a soldier who has to kill to protect their country… You can't just call him a bad guy."
"Smart, aren't you?" 'Their' tone grew increasingly entertained. "So, you are saying that if there is a reason, the suffering is justified?"
"Yes! But the reason itself has to be justified. You can't just rob a bank because you want to go on vacation. It has to be morally justified."
"Interesting. How can you claim the bank robber's desire for a vacation is less than the desires of those being robbed? How do you propose we measure the weight of a being's desire?"
Ash wanted to shout, Are you crazy? Of course, one is more morally correct than the other! But he stopped himself. He reminded himself that the entity before him wasn't human and couldn't be judged by human standards.
A human wouldn't care if an ant stole from another ant colony; to him, whatever the ants did to survive was fair game. To this being, humanity was no different.
"Now you get it!"
A deep laughter echoed in the nothingness, and Ash was pulled back from his pondering.
'Then what about my misery?' he thought.
"You have to find meaning yourself…. Now... tell me, do you want the boon or not?" 'They' asked, eager to listen.
Ash somehow felt attacked by this question. Just a moment ago, he was arguing about the nature of morality; now he was going to reap the benefits, which were only possible because of the deaths of numerous people.
'I'm really a hypocrite, aren't I?' Thinking this, Ash asked, wanting to be certain, "Why did you choose me?"
"You aren't particularly unique... well, you are in a way... but that isn't the reason for my choice... the reason I chose you is that you drank the blood. There isn't anyone else."
"Ohh! Yes, I want the reward."
The moment he said these words, something appeared in his vision. Even though his eyes were closed, he could understand the content very clearly.
[Ash, your Nexus has begun to exist.]