“...So, me.” Ken said. A pit formed in the gut of his stomach.
“You, or close enough to you that I’m not betting against it.” Lucy finally turned, and the mask was mostly back in place, though not quite holding.
Ken exhaled slowly. His head was still swimming–from Sandy, from the moon, from Gloria’s name landing in this room like a grenade with the pin already pulled–and he genuinely couldn’t tell anymore which kind of dizziness was which.
“Okay,” he said. “Then I’ll meet them.”
Lucy blinked. “Just like that?”
“Just like that. But not tonight.” He held up a hand like he expected her to argue, and it was steadier than he expected, all things considered. “I’m hurt, burned through every drop of Sandy I’ve got in me for the day, and I am not about to walk into a room full of strangers, who knows what kind of stranger thoughts they had about me. I’m already running on fumes and one Zetatech inhaler I’m saving for an actual emergency. I’ll meet them, just give me a day.”
She studied him for a long moment. “Why? Why face it when you don’t have to? Just go somewhere, hide until things cool off.” She would’ve taken the opportunity to slip if given. So she wanted to find out exactly where he found that courage.
“You think I want to face them?” Ken admitted. He looked at the girl. He didn’t truly know how he felt about Ayase Momo now. How he felt about Lucyna Kushinada. But there was no Ayase Momo in this life, just the girl in front of him. And he did know that he didn’t want to fuck this up.
Then there was his mother. “I don’t want to keep Mom’s name dirty. And I sure as hell know I’m losing the chance here if I run away now.”
“Are you still on that?! You don’t even know what you’re facing!” She said, trying to reason with herself more than with him.
“There’s more to that. I want to know what this is about too.” If he ran, he’d spend the next few days wondering whether they were actually after him, the Sandy, or whatever his mother had promised them. Running wouldn’t answer any of those questions. He didn’t feel safe with a target on his head.
If they could find his old apartment, they could find his new one.
That, and most important, he definitely didn’t want others to think Gloria took their money and ran away.
Absolutely not!
She might have lived a hard life, but Ken liked to think of it as an honest one. Gloria Martinez deserved better than that. At least, from his point of view.
Lucy’s voice turned sharper. “Fine, have it your way then. Don’t call me if they decide to yank your spine out. Still can’t believe you decided to rehaul your spine with that skinny body of yours.”
Ken hesitated at that, “It won’t come to that, right? I mean mom’s been chooms with them.”
“Who knows.” She turned away. “I don’t know what specs your... mom showed to Maine, but the guy just won’t shut his mouth about it. Apparently the same experimental prototype shit the recent cyberpsycho at corpo plaza had chipped in.”
“Yeah.” Ken confirmed.
“Can’t believe you just fired that 7-8 times and still walked to the ripper.”
“Actually make it 11 times.” She would definitely scoff if he said he ran it once for 10 real minutes straight for reading a book.
“...Crazy,” Lucy walked in front of him and confronted. “There is no customization in that chrome, no extra slot module, no safety cool-down because that shit was experimental.”
Ken looked at her–really looked, the way he hadn’t quite let himself do before, past the boredom and the sarcasm and the careful distance she kept around everyone, including, he suspected, herself. She’d just found out her mother-shaped hole in the world and his mother-shaped hole in the world were the same hole.
She deserved better than another lie stacked on top of that and she had already connected everything long ago, just wanted him to confirm it for her. Maybe she was trying to give themself a chance in her way as much as he wanted to.
Even if it was just him reading too much into it. So, “Yeah...”
“At least try to deny it.” Lucy dragged on her cig, but it didn’t seem to have the effect she wanted.
Ken coughed at the smoke bellowing on his face. “I mean, I can deny it to your chooms, if you want.” But not her. Especially not when she already figured it out.
“...So, you mean to say you have some plans?”
“Well, I don’t know how much they know. I guess I’ll have to improvise. I will use Sandy if I need more time to think and cook up lies.” Ken tried to smile, not sure himself if he managed to pull it off.
“You’re not exactly great at lies, you know that much right?”
“But I had you with Sandy, though.”
“Oh, please. You think I would’ve fallen for such a lousy one if the name signature wasn’t there? I wouldn’t believe you just happened to have Black-ICE laying around if it wasn’t because of your Academy ID. I thought you were some misfit corpo boy with dreams of the street. Tch.”
“Still had you.”
“How did you do it? Out with it. Corrupting the name signature can be done, but replacing it with something else, that’s a whole different matter.”
“Simple, really.” Ken felt some of the life returning in their voice. Tones turned away from the pain. “It wasn’t encrypted, empty even. I had Vik put in some cheap model names in case some netrunners decide to snoop around. With the ICE, they wouldn’t dig too deep and curb their curiosity with the name.”
Lucy pushed him back to the sofa. Took a swig from the not fizzy, and tepid beer. “What? Doesn’t that mean I fell into your trap. I didn’t take you for an intelligent type.”
She had a sour expression on her face, but Ken realized she wasn’t angry or sad anymore.
“What exactly did you take me for?”
“A fool. With how unrestrained you are with that Sandevistan, no way a Mark II would cut out for it. No matter how much you try to push your luck with customization. Do you know how you look to others when you run with Sandy? People can’t even notice you moving, you zoom past them.”
“Isn’t it normal?” Ken took the leftover beer, gave it a swirl and took a cautious sip. Thankfully, not fizzy anymore.
“Sandevistan makes you faster, which in turn lets you hit harder. Normally, most of them have a hard-limit of using for 4-10 seconds at a time. For a good reason, overheating, brain-melting, and over consumption of bioenergy are just some of them. Plus, you use it without any cooldown...” Lucy paused and frowned. “What’s with your face exactly?”
“I mean, you’re praising me right. Kinda unexpected.” Ken scratched his cheek, trying to hold back the goofy grin.
“I’m calling you an idiot, fool. Can Vik still change the name again?”
“Well, he made the key himself, so yeah. Why, though.”
“Have him change it to Falcon Mk.IV, after that you can play your customized drama act to even sound convincing. Real junkies would still know the difference though.”
“Falcon Mk.IV? Sounds expensive. Wouldn’t that defeat the purpose of keeping those who snooped around at bay.”
“You’re making it sound like netrunners go around scanning people’s chrome for fun. That is only for insurance with people who will be working with you.”
“Are you telling me to lie to your chooms?”
“The choice is yours. No matter what you choose, I’m telling you to survive.”
Ken tried to not meet her eyes, so he only side-glanced at her. “Why, though. Why help me?”
Lucy fell silent. Something in her eyes looked confused before she shook it away. “The same reason as I showed you the moon.”
“What was the reason again?” The answer came to him right as he asked. Because it felt right.
Lucy played with her cigar. Her answer was laced with casualness. “You don’t want to hear the reason. You just want to hear what you want to hear and you’re not getting it, Martinez.”
“...”
“Are you done brooding?”
“You know, um, I have another name. Ken, call me that.” he offered, realizing she didn’t actually call him by that name.
“Like I care. Go, home.” Lucy slid on the sofa, her legs completely relaxing on his backside.
“Wait, you’re still sending me home?” That surprised him.
“Obviously. Does this look like a free shelter for abandoned kittens? It was a recovery stop.” She reminded him the obvious.
“You’re still on that? I’m your target now! Why make it hard for yourself, I’ll stay the nig–”
“Not happening, don’t even try.”
“So you’re just... trusting me to come back?”
“Who is trusting you? I’m giving you the chance to run away ‘cause can totally picture you regretting that. You have time until our team’s main hacker of the crew comes back from her own gig.” Lucy suddenly felt annoyed. She laughed and spoke today more than she did in a month. It irritated her immensely when she felt conscious that it was all because of this kitten.
“Then, you’re trusting me with the eddies?”
The eddies were not even in her mind. “You don’t have enough to give me my part, do you? Anyway, that’s the extent of trust you’re getting from me.”
The door opened by itself, and Lucy nudged with her legs from him to move.
“Damn, she is really forcing me to leave.” His voice was small, but enough that she caught it. Ken stopped outside the door, “So... you’re trusting me with the eddies and to come ba–”
The door closed at his face. Ken jumped back as his nose almost learnt its lesson.
“Come on safety sensors, do you work, stop her!” He complained. Sent her a holo, only to find it blocked.
Defeated, he traced his steps back. “Damn! It really was a recovery stop!”
{Alt Titles: Exposed; The Chance to Run & The Choice to Stay; Trust, Apparently; Go Home, Martinez; The Abandoned Kitten Doesn’t Get The Free Shelter; Meanwhile World: No Baby-Making Sequence? Confused_Pika_Face; }