The rest of the week passed without any issues. Much of my time was spent in my rooms, practicing my writing. The old, faded math primer was the perfect tool to practice with. I filled page after page with words, trying to mimic the beautiful flowing text that Helan could create. I wasn't very successful, but practice was practice.
My time as Emyr was coming to an end, and as such, I would need proper women's clothes. Beth’s instruction was to meet her at a seamstress to get fitted for a dress. I certainly couldn’t appear in front of my future employer smelling like a horse's ass, nor was I willing to risk the bathhouse. Bathing in a room with dozens of other women was a bit too much for my village sensibilities.
So, I paid Hendrick five bits to bring me bucket after bucket of water to clean myself. It took five until I felt reasonably human.
With clean clothes and freshly washed hair, I left the inn. Strolling along the streets, I felt almost light. While the two idiot thugs I ran into were a problem, so long as I avoided the poorest parts of the city, I needn't worry about my safety. Still, my dagger was strapped to my waist at all times.
After half an hour of walking, following the directions Beth provided me, I found The Kit and Stitch.
The building was double the size of Grelleth's small store, intricately decorated with flowing tapestries depicting finely dressed nobility. I walked through the front door, a bell ringing as I entered. Adorning the walls were cloths of all kinds, from rich blues to royal purples. One piece of cloth looked spun with gold. The store had well-dressed women and men perusing the various clothes on offer.
I felt incredibly out of place. My cotton shirt and pants were barely above homespun. And weeks of travel, even after washing, made them look exceptionally homely.
At the disdainful glances from a few of the more well-dressed clientele, I hesitated to search the store. I was about to leave before a familiar female voice called out to me.
“Myr, my dear, come, come, don't stand there.”
From the back of the store, I could see Beth in conversation with an old woman wearing a voluminous blue dress.
Nodding, I walked over and bowed to the two women. “Good day, madam,” I said, trying to sound respectful.
The old woman sighed, “You could have been a bit clearer with this project, Beth.”
She looked me up and down as if searching for something. What she was looking for, I didn't know. After a few minutes of examination of my no doubt unexceptional form, she mumbled, “Difficult, but I can perform miracles.”
Beth smiled, “See, that’s why I brought her to you, Lydia.”
Lydia sniffed and rolled her eyes. “Come, girl, follow me.”
Without a second glance, she turned on her heel and walked through a door leading further into the store.
~
We stood in a room surrounded by dresses of all kinds: Bridal gowns, men's suits, and similar outfits to the maid-servants from Darion's Dish.
In the center of the room was a small circular platform. But the most interesting thing was what stood in front of said platform.
A mirror, the first I had ever seen. It was taller than I was, and the reflection: perfect.
They looked at me expectantly.
“She just needs your measurements, my dear, and try a few test cloths against your skin. You're going to have to dress down to your small clothes,” Beth said gently.
“I don't have on a shift,” I said.
I didn't feel like getting naked in front of strangers.
“No problem,” Lydia said.
She walked into a back room and brought out two thin strips of cloth, handed them to me, and from one side of the room brought out a large paper screen. It took me a second, but then I understood. The screen would block my nakedness.
“Right one moment,” I said, as I took the thin strips of clean white cloth.
“Take off the boots,” Lydia said.
Standing on the raised circle, I stared in awe at the mirror. It was the first time in my life that I had ever seen my entire form. I had seen my face in water and polished metals, but it was never so clear.
‘So, that's how others see me.’
I watched myself undress, intensely focused on my form. Skin and bones mostly; I could see my hip bone and ribs against my skin. And hair was growing in strange places; I examined the dark hairs above my privates and under my arms. I've never actually seen another naked woman, so I had nothing to compare myself to. Not wanting to spend too much time examining myself, I grabbed the two strips of cloth. After a second of examination, I deduced that one was to cover my breasts, while the other was to wrap around my waist and cover my nethers.
“I’m ready,” I announced.
The two women came into view. Lydia was carrying a bundle of black sloth. Both looked perturbed as they stared at me. Most of it came from Beth.
‘I knew I wasn't pretty, but there was no reason to be that repulsed. At least I’m clean.’
Regardless, I didn't let my feelings show on my face. After all, I was used to it.
“Right,” Lydia said after an awkward pause.
What followed was half an hour of measurements and trying test garments, which didn't fit me. I became a doll trying on dress after dress. Surprisingly, there were many kinds of black, from a grayish blue to ink black, as dark as my hair. For all the poking, prodding, and discussion between the two women on what would look best on my thin form, I had no complaints.
~
I stared at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a dark blue cotton dress decently made with an underbust corset. It wasn't the finest dress in her store, but it fit. The bodice was tight enough that it looked like I had a waist.
Back in Farway, this would have been considered a lovely dress. The work socks went halfway up my thigh, and my feet were tucked into brown buckled boots that felt far more comfortable than my own. The women were off in the rear of the store discussing payment.
I sighed and caved into the impulse. I twirled, letting the dress balloon around me. I still didn’t like how restrictive dresses were, but I couldn't deny that Lydia did perform a miracle. While I still didn't think I was pretty, I did at least look like I was from a decently well-off family. The dress was a gift that, no matter how much I tried, Beth wouldn't accept payment for.
“My, don't you look lovely,” Beth said.
“If you say so,”
I shrugged, not knowing how to take the compliment. Beth pursed her lips, “Come, your uniform will be ready by the Eight-day. For now, that's a decent substitute.”
She gestured and locked her arm into mine, escorting me out of the store, “Remember this, my dear, there are no ugly women, only lazy ones.”
We walked through the street, my mind slightly numb. I didn't really know what to do with such generosity. Was it pity? Did she want something in return? I didn't know, but I would have to keep my guard up. One thing life taught me was to never underestimate human cruelty.
~
We walked through the front door of Darion's Dish, the men outside bowing as we passed.
“Good evening, my lady, and hello again, Emyr,” Yarah said, looking me up and down, trying to hide her amusement.
“Just Myr,” I said, mildly embarrassed.
Yarah smiled beautifully, “Myr, it is. A pleasure to meet you again.”
“A booth, my dear,” Beth said.
Yarah led us to a private booth; Beth ordered for both of us. She smiled and said, “Make sure to eat your fill, dear, my treat. You're much too thin.”
‘More generosity? What is her game? I'll certainly not turn away free food.
‘
~
It took all my willpower to not dive into the meat like a rabid animal. Chicken and beef steak, all roasted to perfection. Beth encouraged me to eat to my fill, and I was not going to disappoint. It was the single greatest meal I had eaten.
“Thank you, Lady Beth,” I said, wiping away some grease from my face.
She smiled, “Think nothing of it. Besides, you need some meat on your bones. And you'll need the energy. Yarah may be a sweetheart, but she takes her work seriously and expects the best. She'll be the one to train you. So, for today, rest, gather your things, and early tomorrow you start your new life.”
“You have been awfully kind,” I noted.
She laughed, “Not as kind as you think. I wasn't lying, your unique coloring would be an interesting attraction.”
“That dress couldn't be cheap, though.”
“It isn't, a whole three silvers,”
I coughed on my roasted potatoes. She chuckled and handed me a white handkerchief, “I do expect good work in return.”
“That’s the last I can offer, for such generosity.”
“So now that we're acquainted, tell me about yourself.” I took a deep breath, readying myself for the interrogation.
‘Let's see if all that preparation paid off.’
“What do you want to know?” I asked.
“Your mother, what do you know about her? Odd that a northern woman came so far south.”
“Father never talked about her, though for whatever reason, asking made him angry,”
Beth leaned back, all the sweet kindness from earlier disappeared, and her expression took on a more business-like persona.
“You’re a good liar, but not good enough. You know, before I married my husband, I used to be a magistrate. I’ve heard a thousand lies told in a thousand different ways. You're much too young to hide the truth from me. At this moment, I demand it, or you can finish your meal and walk away.”
‘Am I cursed. A magistrate? How unlucky do I have to be?
’
I glanced at the door and contemplated running.
‘Wait, think carefully. She wouldn't put this much work into it if she wasn't going to hire me. Hell, if she knew I was lying from the start, then why bother with the entire farce? No, she feels sympathy, but she’s cautious; this game won't slip from me yet. Let her take the lead, and I'll give her whatever truth she wants.’
“Will you tell Sir Darion that I'm a liar?” I asked.
No point in baring my soul to her if her husband kicks me to the curb.
“Yes, but he defers to me. If you don't pose a threat, he will allow you to remain.”
I sighed and asked, “What do you want to know?”
“Is your name Myr?”
“No, but it's the name I chose for myself. I want to remain Myr.”
She raised an eyebrow, “This tells me you hate your mother or father. Who is Emyr?” She asked.
I shrugged, "He was an old tinker who came to the village; he wanted to sell me a story. I made him a deal: he tells me the first half, and if it's good enough, I pay him for the second."
"Your parents are alive?"
“My mother, yes, my father I’ve never met.”
“Why did you leave your village?”
I caught her eyes letting true emotion seep into my voice, “My mother, her husband, brothers, sister, and the entire village hate me. Soon enough, I was sold off to a fat old man whose previous wife died of miscarriages for twelve silver. I had two choices: die or run. I chose life. Thrice cursed they called me, though I still don't know what that means.”
Her business-like persona cracked, and sympathy started to shine through. That was her weakness, no matter how I lied; she felt sorry for me.
“Thrice cursed, it's an old and archaic belief. Not taught in proper Anieran scripture, so you won't hear it at the temples. The circumstance of a child's birth determines the purity of the soul. A child of adultery is cursed to lust. A bastard child is cursed to wander in darkness without Anier's light. A child of rape is cursed to succumb to the evils that created it, spreading more pain through the world. A thrice cursed.”
I blinked, mildly numb. The question plagued me for months. Was it really so simple?
Was my mother raped, and was I the result? But Aalis was born before me, and I know for certain that Mother was married. Is that the reason? My black hair and black eyes made her see her rapist's face every time she looked at me. No, something was missing from this story.
“It's common to be strict with a child born under a curse, much less three. I imagine your childhood was quite difficult. It is believed to be necessary to cull the evils within the child before it flourishes lest the curse consumes the soul and a monster of sin is created.”
A bit of anger flared in my heart at the word strict. “Is getting stripped in the back yard and lashed bloody, strict. I've been beaten more times than I can count. I don't remember ever being hugged or kissed. I remember pain, I remember cold and hungry nights while my sibling slept warm and fed. What was my crime? Being born? You tell me, is this just strict? You know who taught me to read and write, the whores in the village and a single friend. Everyone else treated me like I was a leper. The final insult was to sell me off to a fat, disgusting ox of a man who saw me as nothing more than a walking womb. Hell, I was too ugly to get fifteen silvers. I sat there while they debated my worth like I was cattle. The pig managed to talk the bastard down to twelve.”
My anger got the best of me, and I feared I had just ruined my chances. But her eyes were as cool as a lake; with nothing else to latch on to, my breathing leveled, and I stopped seeing red. I searched her face, but found no judgment or condemnation.
“Thank you for sharing with me, Myr. Your room is prepared. You should fetch your things from the inn. I'll speak to my husband,” She still had that cold stare, though it didn't feel as overwhelming.
I nodded,” I’ll--I’ll go fetch it.”
I stood up, curtsied, and left the restaurant, embarrassed by my outburst. Fortunately, the booth was private.
~
I walked through the front door of the inn, and Hendrick looked up at me, confused. “Hello Hendrick, it's me, Emyr.”
“You’re a lass?” he looked me up and down as if seeing me in a new light.
“Yes, I’ll be getting my things. Thank you for the discount on the room.” I said.
“Davos will never believe this.”
I giggled, "I imagine it would be a bit of a surprise since I think they were interested in pairing me with his daughter."
Hendrick burst into laughter, "Iris is going to be disappointed. I was supposed to keep an eye on you and offer you work if you don't find your way."
"I did find work in the end. Feel free to stop by Darion's dish in a few weeks."
He rubbed his bread, "Not cheap, but the wife has been askin' for a day out. If ye can get us a table, I'll certainly drop by."
After getting the rest of my things, I bid him a final farewell.
“Good luck with everything…” He was unsure what to call me.
I offered him a hand, “Myr. ”
~
I returned to the restaurant a bit unsure how to approach Beth. She was by the door, offering a small smile as she gestured for me to follow.
She led me past the dining area up one flight of stairs to the end of the hall.
“This is your room for the time being,” she said.
It was small, only slightly larger than my room at the inn. It had a window looking down at the backyard area. To one side, there was a pile of wood; to the right was a strange furnace that didn't seem to be for anything.
‘Odd, why is it just sitting there?’
The bed was small, though comfortable to lie on. There was a small chest at the foot of the bed with a key sitting on the closed lid. Near the window was a small desk and chair. It was cozy if nothing else.
After placing my things on the ground, I walked over to Beth, who was watching me examine the room.
I was about to bow and thank her before she stepped forward into my personal space and wrapped me in a hug. My head was pressed into her soft bosom. She smelled like honey, lilac, and roast beef, oddly enough.
‘Probably from the meal.’
I didn't know what to do. I just stood there and let her have her way, enjoying the warmth of her. Finally, after around thirty seconds, she released me.
“I’m glad that you're here. Rest well. If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask.” With a sweet smile, she walked away.
I didn't know what I felt. But it wasn't bad, at least. I stripped into my small clothes and slipped under the covers. Even though it was still in the evening. As I drifted off to sleep, I recalled her warmth and smell.
‘I wouldn't mind falling asleep in those arms.’