The city was abuzz with the arrival of The Baron's daughter, Lady Surian Redstone, or Vinlan, if she takes her mother's seat instead of her father's. Details of the complicated relationship between the baron, his estranged wife, and daughter were sparse. Nobles, for all their faults, were quiet when it came to details about their personal lives. In the end, unless it affected me, their relationship didn't matter. What did matter, however, was a choice that I had to make.
It had been a week since Beth and Darion's announcement, and business was in full swing. I waited tables, smiled sweetly, laughed, joked, and flirted with customers without much thought. It all became second nature after almost a year of work. The time to make my decision was approaching. The baron had put word out for potential handmaidens for his daughter, this very morning. Most of the well-connected and wealthy merchants were putting forward their daughters and nieces. After almost a year, I had saved nearly twelve silver eagles from both my standard pay and gratuity from nobility. I had no dependents, which meant I could save a majority of my coin. I debated endlessly how I should spend my wealth.
"Come now, dear, you are in the prime of your life. You don't want to start building your family too late." Nanette said. She was a decently wealthy inn owner in the upper quarter. For the last few months, she had been trying to convince me to marry her youngest son. Like most people who were newly acquainted with wealth, all her sons strutted around dressed in the finest of clothing, flamboyantly displaying their wealth like peacocks. If I didn't already find men displeasing, their arrogance was enough of a reason. Darion and Beth were at least as wealthy as Nanette, and while they dressed expensively. It was more subtle; they displayed their wealth with class.
"Sorry, Lady Nanette, it would have to be a no. And besides, Jorum doesn't seem to fancy me."
Nanette sniffed indignantly, "The idiot boy doesn't know what's good for him. I do, and if he wants an inheritance, he'll marry who I tell him. Not to worry, dear, I'll straighten him out."
There was no debate with this woman. Jorum was nineteen summers and was known as a skirt chaser. My reputation, at least according to Hewit, was: dedicated worker, calm, stern if necessary, and reasonable. Perhaps she thought I could tame her wild son. Even if she was correct, marriage wasn't for me. Not unless my husband was perfectly content to never touch or attempt to command me in any way. More than likely, any marriage would result in me murdering my husband.
I curtsied and smiled prettily, "Of course, Lady Nanette, do enjoy your meal."
~
I declined Yarah's invitation for supper, instead choosing to stay in my room for the night. I sat by the small desk, staring out the window. I played with my dagger, remembering the man I killed. It had been gathering dust at the bottom of my armoire for over six months. I unsheathed it; the blade reflected the setting sun into my eyes.
The fire within me stirred. Almost as if it wanted me to use it.
‘Even with something as simple as a dagger, the flame within became just a bit hotter. What would it be like if you had real power in your hands and not a simple bit of steel? You can't turn away, can you, Myr? You know what you have to do.’
The peace that was about to consume my mind was slowly burned to cinders, and an old flame took its place. I sighed, taking one last glance at my surroundings, the warm bed, desk littered with my writing; in the far corner of my room were a dozen books I had purchased and read. I couldn't bother selling them at the market, so they gathered dust. I was planning to buy a bookshelf.
I closed my eyes and let my imagination wander. Being there for the birth of Beth's child. Nameday celebrations and the summer festivals. For a long moment, I enjoyed the fantasy. Then I let it all burn away to ash and nothingness.
"It would have been a good life. But, not a life I was meant for.” I said aloud.
In some ways, I felt like I was asleep; that my entire time with Yarah and the others was little more than a pleasant dream. It was time to wake up. I picked up my black quill, remembering Emyr, my last words to him.
‘Hear me, old man. I. Will. Learn.’
"I'm sorry, Emyr. I had almost forgotten."
~
We were sitting around Beth and Darion's dining table. They both looked at me, confused, asking them if they could put my name forward as a potential handmaiden for Lady Surian was not something they expected.
"It-it's not impossible," Darion said, considering.
"Why? Were we too forward?" Beth asked.
‘Damn it all, don't look at me with such compassion, Beth. I'm using you to forward my goals. I don't need more guilt.’
"No, I-I don't know how to put it."
"I'll do it," Beth said abruptly. It shocked me out of my performance. I figured it would take a lot of convincing since she literally asked me to become a part of their family a few days prior.
"I-Really?"I didn't even have to pretend to be confused.
Beth shrugged in acceptance, "I have a few contacts that could work."
Darion added, "Aye, and the well of gratitude from saving the Baron's life isn't completely dry. With Beth as a former magistrate, it could work."
‘This was too easy.’
"You wonder why we agreed so easily?" Beth said with a knowing smile.
‘Right, she was a magistrate, hiding the truth from her was never going to be easy. Does she see through me? Does she know what lurks beneath?’
"Do you know what is required of a handmaiden to a baroness?" Darion asked.
I shrugged, "Some very strict etiquette demands?"
Beth shook her head, "It's more than that. You are to serve her in all aspects. Personal care, handling documents, and messages. Trust between a lady and her handmaiden is paramount. Any action from you that creates a scandal or embarrassment could result in, at best, your dismissal, at worst, your execution. Proper nobles are different from minor nobles. She is above you in both the law and the eyes of the public. She could beat you bloody in the street, and no one would raise a hand to help."
"Fortunately, Surian doesn't have a reputation like that, though she's probably as spoiled as any high-ranking noble woman," Darion said, trying to lighten the mood.
~
We spent some time discussing what was required for a proper handmaiden, and it was extensive. My background needed changing and solidifying. Nothing was different beyond me being born in Lakeshore rather than Farway. Emyr was still my pretend father, and I never knew my mother. It was surprising how willing they were to help me. Their openness was disconcerting.
"What is it you two see in me, that inspires such generosity?" I asked.
Darion looked over to his wife, and a silent conversation passed before she started to speak, "There is a war going on within you. And an incredible amount of Anger. But I also sense ambition and desperation. Part of you wants to stay with us, another wants to venture into the unknown. They battle within you. I would love for you to stay, Myr, but only if it's what you truly want."
"You sound like a soothsayer."
Beth smiled a bit smugly, "It's the same skill; the difference is: I'm honest."
"I have supper ready if anyone's hungry," Darion said, trying to elevate the mood.
"I think I can eat," I said.
‘They are good people. Too bad you weren't cut from the same cloth.’
~
"Handmaiden to the Baroness?" Yarah asked indignantly.
"Yes, seemed like a good opportunity." I finally accepted her invitation for a meal at her home.
"It's just a significant commitment. Sure, the benefits are worthwhile, but you'll have to put marriage out of your mind for some time. Even then, it would have to be someone she approves of."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh, how will I survive?"
Yarah huffed, "Why are you so against marriage, Myr?"
‘I don't fancy men or spending my days rearing children, no matter how many women try to convince me otherwise.’
"Yarah, it's just not for me."
"Fine, fine. But when will I see you, and what about Darion and Beth? Are you just going to quit?"
"On Eight-days perhaps. I've already discussed everything with them. Right now, they can only recommend me. They're going to be many other girls. I'll have to be the best. And of course, be approved by the lady herself."
Yarah tried to hide her disappointment but failed. I wasn't sure what she wanted from me, and I was sure she couldn't give me what I wanted from her. That's just how it had to be. Romance was never something I had given a single thought to. However, I was curious how it felt. Yarah had her husband now, and her store would be well on its way in a few months.
"What's that look, Myr?" Yarah asked.
I smiled at her, "Just thinking about the future."
Yarah smiled mischievously, "How about we share one last bottle. I have an Arbor West just for you."
It was a weakness of mine, "Fine, and this time I won't pass out."
"Of course. But just in case my spare bed has new linens,"
~
I didn't have much time to prepare. Beth tried as best as she could to fill me with the knowledge I would need, especially in the coming interview with the Baron's Chief advisor. There were 37 women in total, and according to Beth, half would be rejected in the interviews.
Viscount Enaris was said to be a somewhat stern and unfeeling man with unquestionable loyalty to the baron. Somehow, my lack of experience as a personal handmaiden to nobility was a boon to my chances. It meant that there would be an even lower chance for me to be a spy for his wife. Why was he so concerned about his wife? I didn't care, so long as it increased my chances. There were three rounds to pass. First, the selection by Viscount Enaris. Then Lady Surian would examine us like so much cattle and cut that number by half again.
Then we would train with the Baron's maidservants, and the final decision was made. Only one would be chosen; The rest would be sent home or given lesser positions. My mind consistently went over the conversation I had with Beth. When to lie, tell the truth, and most importantly, be consistent.
A knock at my door jolted me out of my thoughts. Opening it, I saw Darion standing there with a serious expression.
"He's here," That was all he said. With a solemn nod, he escorted me into his office. Beth was standing outside the door, and with a reassuring pat on the shoulder, she said, "Remember what you should say. Don't be too nervous, you can do this."
Sitting behind Darion's desk was an unimposing man, perhaps 50 summers old. He was bald with grey eyes so cold and lifeless that if someone told me he was a walking corpse or an apparition sent from the Stygian abyss, I would believe them. I spent a full 10 silver on my dress and hair. Blue and red were the Baron's colors, but with Beth's insistence, I shouldn't be too presumptuous to dress in his house colors. Something to differentiate myself from the other women would be more important in the initial stages.
So, I went for an all-black ensemble, from the skirt, which was made of fine satin, to the bodice and shoes. My hair was immaculate and I wore minimal makeup up just a bit of shadow around my eyes to make them 'pop', as Beth would say. While most would raise an eyebrow or take a second glance at my rather dark and slightly eerie aura, Viscount Enaris didn't so much as flinch. Nerves started to crawl up my spine.
I walked forward and curtsied deeply, waited a second, and straightened. "Greetings, Vicount Enaris," I said, then lowered my gaze.
He remained silent for almost thirty seconds, then said, "Sit." his voice was a growl as if he had smoked tobacco all his life.
I curtsied again and, keeping my eyes lowered. He didn't speak for almost a full minute; it was maddening. Nobility expected submission and deference from their staff. The daughters of wealthy merchants or minor nobles wouldn't take to it as easily, but this was nothing to me.
"Acceptable," he mumbled. "Tell me about your father. And look upon me as you answer." Enaris commanded.
This was also not unexpected. Beth and Darion gave them a story about me. A simple one, really; the same lie that I tried to convince them of when I first interviewed. However, Beth refined the story to a keen edge. Hell, it was even more convincing than my own true story. The reason that I couldn't use my true story was the fact that I was a runway bride. That would guarantee my elimination.
"There's not a lot to tell my Lord. My father was a tinker who traveled from town to town buying and selling repaired items." I said his cold eyes were so unmoving that it was hard to focus on them.
"What towns and be specific about what he sold."
What I said next and how I said it would be most important. One thing about tinkers was that they were most often scammers who took advantage of poor and ignorant villagers. Selling wares and services that were usually overpriced trash.
"Dumar to the coast, though we only went when it wasn't the rainy season. South to Eliasar, we usually skipped Lakeshore, then to Farway." I paused, scratched the back of my neck as if I was embarrassed about what I was going to say next, "We sold and repaired pots and pans and things. Well, my father did the repairin' and I did the sellin'"
I coughed as my country accent slipped out.
He mumbled unintelligibly under his breath.
"He never found you a husband? According to Ser Darion, you're almost 15 summers?"
"I was dressed as a boy the entire time for my safety while traveling. And it's not like anyone was going to give their daughters to the son of a poor tinker. So, I never had to worry about marriage."
Another thirty seconds passed before he asked another question.
"When would you prefer to find a husband?"
That was an unexpected question. Beth's advice was that if I were ever met with a question she or Darion didn't predict, I was to answer with as much truth as possible, if not the complete truth.
"Hopefully never, marriage was never really an interest for me."
"Yet you want to become the handmaiden of a Baroness."
"Yes."
"Their pay is significant, and so are the potential benefits. Which appeals to you?"
I blinked twice. Beth said such things wouldn't be spoken of so candidly. "Oh, come now, everyone wants something from this position."
His voice didn't change, but I could detect amusement.
I spent a few seconds thinking about the question. "The coin is nice, but I don't have that much interest in it."
"Why would a girl who spent her entire life traveling with a poor tinker as a father not be interested in coin?"
‘Was that the wrong response? Either way, I made this bed. More honestly then; I'll drown you in it, old man.’
I shrugged, "What do people want coin for? Food, shelter, a soft bed. I already have all of that. At one point in my life, silver would be a great treasure. Now it means little. These boots alone cost three, this dress, ten."
"There is always gold, platinum, even Aurazite or Orichalcum." He said.
‘What in the hells is Aurazite and Orichalcum?’
"And what would that buy me. A thousand shoes? A thousand dresses? Jewel-encrusted rings and earrings? I'll leave covetousness for people who can't find proper meaning without fineries."
Enaris stared at me silently, his eyes were rather intense.
‘Damn, I might have been too forward with my words.’
"A-Apologies, my lord, I didn't mean to be so...."
He held up a hand, forestalling my apologies.
"Forgiven, but it would do you well to remember your betters will not tolerate such candidness."
I bowed deeply from my seated position. That aura of tension from his eyes dissipated.
‘The man has such a commanding presence.’
"What benefits do you see from this position?" He asked.
'Of course, some benefits come with any position amongst nobility. The key is never overstepping yourself or, even worse, your desires somehow conflicting with your noble patron's interests.' Beth said
"I-I don't know. I suppose that's why I asked Darion and Beth if I could be put forward."
"Would you not assist Darion and Lady Beth if it is within your position?"
'Remember, don't pretend like you and your friends won't benefit from your position. What Viscount Enaris wants to determine is if you are smart enough to not let it conflict with or hamper the interests of Baron Redstone and his daughter.
'
"I suppose I would, but it would depend."
"Depends on what? Give me an example." Viscount Enaris asked.
I thought for a moment, then spoke, "Say the lady was interested in trying the dishes of the city, I would recommend the glazed duck since every noble visitor enjoys it. We've even had repeat customers and once provided duck to several noble gatherings."
"Do you care for the Northerners?"
Why such a random transition?
"Not in the least," I said truthfully.
"According to Darion's letter, your mother was a North woman. Are you not interested in the origin of your mother?"
I didn't even have to pretend, "I was, then I learned who the Northerners are, and was rather disappointed. The lives of those savages mean nothing to me. They could be wiped out for all I care."
"Why the Ferosian colors?" He asked again, unexpectedly.
"I'm not very pretty, it's the only way I can stand out amongst the crowd."
"If you are in a situation where you and the Baroness's life is in danger, whom do you prioritize?"
'Don't fall into the trap of easy answers. Think deeper.' Beth warned.
"My life," I said, smiling.
He raised an eyebrow, the first change in his stony expression.
"You would let her die," He sounded amused.
"No, I would fight, kill, do anything and everything possible within my power to ensure her safety. "
"You contradict yourself." Enaris reprimanded.
"Not to me. Once I swear myself into her service, my life belongs to her, and so does my death. In that situation, the only way to save myself is to save her."
Viscount Enaris was quiet for over a minute.
He blinked slowly, then nodded. "How are your reading and writing skills?"
~
The interrogation went on for another hour, though thankfully, the questions were more academic, simple, and seemingly without trickery.
"Final question. If you swear yourself into Lady Surian's service, to whom do you owe ultimate loyalty?"
I hesitated to answer. I gazed into his eyes, recalling what Beth told me about him and his relationship with the baron.
"Lord Baron Elodin Redstone," I said firmly.