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Explosive! The Crazy Couple’s Radical Remake of a Breakup Variety Show

Chapter 1 / 10

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Chapter 1 of 10

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Chapter 1

Explosive! The Crazy Couple’s Radical Remake of a Breakup Variety Show

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[You’ve transmigrated into books seven times and killed eight male leads]

[Two hundred missions, zero completed]

[In an angst-novel world, you harvested your own white moonlight’s kidney to save yourself]Full novel: Explosive! The Crazy Couple’s Radical Remake of a Breakup Variety Show — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠

[In a cultivation world, you exterminated your own nine clans and destroyed other people’s sects]

[Given the script of an innocent little flower, you cultivated yourself into the Evil Sword Immortal]

[You walked the villain’s storyline, leaving the villain with no storyline left to walk]

[Jiang Hua, do you know your crimes?]

“Huh? I don’t.” An innocent, harmless voice rang out.

The Judge of the God-Space: […].

[Unrepentant! As punishment, you shall be exiled to the most remote world to serve your sentence!]

[You will be given the most tragic identity in that world, and only when your Abuse Value reaches 1,000,000 will you be released!]

As the voice fell, Jiang Hua slowly opened her eyes.

The first thing she saw was a gold-plated iron cage.

It was dim all around, the chill biting. A crystal chandelier swayed overhead, casting light on her own figure—long black curls spilled around her as she lay on a white blanket inside the cage, her legs streaked with blood, a chain still locked around her slender ankle.

“Hua hasn’t been good. She keeps trying to run away…”

A low, hoarse voice suddenly sounded in the room.

Jiang Hua turned her head and saw a sickly, gaunt man standing beside the cage.

Plot text suddenly flashed before her eyes.

[Your name is Jiang Hua, the eldest daughter of the Jiang family, twin sister to Jiang He. Because you drained your sister’s nutrients in the womb, your superstitious parents believed you were a jinx.]

[Your father didn’t love you, your mother didn’t care, your sister feared you, and your relatives kept their distance. You were raised in the countryside until your parents brought you back—only to have you marry in your sister’s place, to this yandere villain.]

[He is your fiancé, and also the power that rules Beicheng with an iron fist—Fu Ran. He is obsessed with your sister, yet went to great lengths to bring back a counterfeit. In his rage, he imprisoned you in the basement for a full year. You suffered endless torment, escaped three times, and were caught and brought back three times.]

[This time, he broke your legs, chained your ankles, and locked you in a cage.]

[Current Abuse Value: 0]

The text vanished. Jiang Hua now saw that sinister face clearly, and the iron rod gleaming coldly in his hand.

The searing pain in her legs reminded her of what had just happened.

Fu Ran smiled, his pale, withered hand reaching for her face. “Hua, with your legs broken, you won’t run anymore, right?”

“Right.”

The answer that left Jiang Hua’s lips caught him off guard—crisp and clean.

The next second, her small hand wrapped around his.

Fu Ran raised an eyebrow.

“Brother Fu,” Jiang Hua said softly, “from now on… I won’t run anymore.”

Her slender fingers hooked his tie, and in the instant they drew close, Fu Ran was enveloped in the scent of jasmine.

Just as he was about to flare up in anger, the woman lifted her face, tinged with shyness.

“Do I look like her? Like my sister?”

Fu Ran’s Adam’s apple bobbed, desire spreading through his eyes.

She did.

She looked so much like her.

He seized her face and kissed her at once.

“Bang!”

The moment their lips touched, a burst of pain exploded through the back of his neck!

He collapsed sideways, agonized groans spilling from his mouth.

“Wrong answer.”

Through his blurring vision, the woman tilted her head.

In her bloodstained hand, she toyed with the golden key she had just stolen. The ankle chain was already undone, and the smile on her face was nearly bewitching.

Dragging her leg, she walked toward him, step by step.

The iron rod scraped a winding trail across the floor, clanging as it went.

Fu Ran could only gasp through the pain. “You…”

“Wrong answers, after all, must be punished.”

Jiang Hua stopped, her bloodied bare foot grinding against his face.

Fu Ran, pinned beneath her foot, struggled in fury. “Jiang Hua, you’re insane! Let go of me!”

“Shh.” A cold fingertip pressed to his lips, then lifted away.

She looked down at him with a sweet smile. “Save your strength. You’ll need it for screaming later.”

The words fell, and the iron rod rose.

“Ah—”

The scream pierced through the basement and exploded into the air above the villa.

“What was that sound?”

In the courtyard, someone turned their head.

The butler’s heart tightened. He glanced toward the basement and thought, This is bad. Why are they making such a racket today?

“It’s… it’s probably a wild cat,” the butler said quietly.

The man in the wheelchair curled his lips. “The wild cats our Fu family raises are certainly something else—they even know how to cry out in pain. May I ask politely: is it also fluent in other languages?”

The butler broke into a cold sweat, not daring to look at the speaker.

The wheelchair suddenly began to move. The butler hurried after him. “Young Master, you’ve only just returned to the country. You’re not familiar with this place yet…”

“I’m looking for a cat. I just got back and don’t speak the language—perfect timing to find a translator.”

The butler: “…Please stop joking, sir.”

“Who’s joking? Do you think I can’t afford a high salary?”

The butler: “…”

He couldn’t help stealing a glance.

The man lounged lazily in his wheelchair, his fox-like eyes, half-smiling, set against jade-pale skin—beautiful to the point of being androgynous, and his manner of conduct was just as uncannily sharp, as if he were a fox spirit in human form.

Before the butler could keep making excuses, the basement door suddenly turned.

Click—

Startled, the butler rushed to push the wheelchair away.

But it was too late. A figure burst out—yet it wasn’t Fu Ran, as expected.

It was a barefoot woman, covered in blood!

“Help!”

She hopped on one leg, her sobs shrill. Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of the wheelchair, spun around, and threw herself at it, crashing straight into someone’s arms.

“Save… me.”

The voice cut off abruptly, and she collapsed.

Xie Jiumian raised his hand and caught her soft cheek just in time.

The entire courtyard of servants was shocked!

“This… Miss Jiang? Why was she in the basement?!”

They soon found out: the basement contained not only Miss Jiang with one broken leg, but also Young Master Fu with both legs broken.

“Catch her!” Fu Ran roared, crawling up from the stairwell.

The servants huddled together in terror.

Jiang Hua didn’t move. She even found a more comfortable position to nestle in.

The plot bar scrolled across her mind. She knew that in one minute, the Jiang family would appear at the gate, bringing a swarm of reporters to expose Fu Ran and extort a sum of money.

So all she had to do was lie on this human-shaped pillow and wait for the reporters to break through the door and—

“Tsk.” A sound came from above her head.

Then the human-shaped pillow lifted her straight up. “Weren’t you trying to catch her? What are you waiting for? Waiting for me to gift-wrap her and deliver her to you?”

Jiang Hua lifted her eyelids and stared at him without blinking.

“Catch her!” Fu Ran commanded.

The bodyguards sprang into action.

Jiang Hua moved too.

She drove her elbow straight toward Xie Jiumian’s crotch!

“Hiss—that’s vicious.”

Xie Jiumian caught it with one hand, but the slender pale leg before him rose again, aiming for his vitals—when suddenly the man’s thin lips parted—

“Wait.”

That one word stopped the bodyguards.

Jiang Hua raised an eyebrow and followed his scorching gaze downward, finding him staring at the peach-blossom birthmark on the side of her leg.

The birthmark was hers—she carried it in every world she went to.

“Like it?”

She flicked her canine tooth with her tongue. “Want me to brand one on you with a cigarette?”

Xie Jiumian stared at her, his eyes filled with those familiar, ink-black pupils.

It was as if, across countless stretches of time and space, they had overlapped and met again in this very moment.

In the span of a few breaths, the sharpness in his eyes gradually melted into still water. His long lashes lowered, concealing the emotions surging within, and he gave a soft laugh.

Once again, I’ve found you.

“Alright,” he said.

Jiang Hua raised an eyebrow.

Xie Jiumian’s smile vanished as he turned to Fu Ran. “Sorry, I’ve changed my mind.”

He pulled the person back into his arms and leaned lazily against the back of the chair. “This one—you’re not taking them today.”

Full novel: Explosive! The Crazy Couple’s Radical Remake of a Breakup Variety Show — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠
🌐Novel TranslateRead raw Chinese web novels in instant English — free Chrome extension.Add to Chrome
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