The moment Cana heard the price, whatever alcohol-induced haze had been clouding her mind vanished.
She tipped back the barrel in her hands, drained the rest in one go, then patted her generously developed chest with obvious relief.
“That was close. I almost agreed…” Her expression immediately twisted into outrage.
“Five hundred thousand Jewels?! Why don’t you just rob me instead?! Do you have any idea how much I make from a single job?”
Noah nearly rolled his eyes.
‘Robbery?
Please.
Robbery doesn’t make money this efficiently.’
To put five hundred thousand Jewels into perspective, Lucy’s apartment in the original story cost seventy thousand Jewels a month, while ordinary jobs generally paid anywhere from a few thousand to several tens of thousands.
The job on Galuna Island, meanwhile, was an S-Class request with a reward of seven million Jewels plus a golden Celestial Spirit Key.
In other words, even the lower-paying S-Class jobs were generally worth several hundred thousand Jewels at minimum.
Seen that way, five hundred thousand was only the reward from a handful of normal jobs.
Of course, if Cana averaged one job every two weeks and actually bought Noah’s new deck, she would probably spend quite a long time being… financially uncomfortable.
And there was no guarantee she would even become S-Class afterward.
“I haven’t paid much attention to the first-floor request board in years,” Noah said, tilting his head.
“I remember the girls’ dorm costs a hundred thousand Jewels a month, though. How much do you make per job? Three hundred thousand? A hundred thousand? I can’t imagine it being much lower than that.”
Cana and Gray stared at him with exactly the same thought.
‘God, this guy is asking to get punched.’
Noticing the distinctly unfriendly expressions on both their faces, Noah hurried to defend himself.
“Hey, what’s with those looks? These are powerful cards handcrafted by a genius Magic Item maker! My cards aren’t like the cheap junk you find on the market. I guarantee you could use this deck for at least seven years. Seven years! When you think about it that way, five hundred thousand for the whole set is practically a bargain.”
There was, of course, absolutely no chance Cana would actually keep using the same deck for seven years.
Once she became S-Class, Noah could simply release an improved version a year or two later and sell her that instead.
Naturally, he had no intention of mentioning that.
Then again, if Tenrou Island still ended up disappearing for seven years, he technically would not have lied to the customer.
“But five hundred thousand for only ten cards still sounds pretty ridiculous,” Gray said from beside them.
Noah looked at him with the unmistakable expression of someone confronted with profound ignorance.
Apparently, saying Cana was much smarter than Gray had not been particularly unfair.
The guy really knew nothing about magical equipment.
“What do you know?” Noah replied.
“For Holder-Type Mages, carrying too much equipment only gets in the way. If you have to sort through a ridiculous number of items in the middle of a fight, you’ll slow yourself down.”
Gray blinked.
“Really? I always figured more equipment was better. Erza has tons of armor.”
Noah immediately perked up.
“See? That’s because you don’t understand cards. Anyone who plays cards knows that a streamlined deck is stronger!”
Having successfully educated Gray on the profound principles of deck construction, Noah turned back toward Cana.
“You understand now, right? Card Magic isn’t Caster Magic like Gray’s or Natsu’s. You rely on powerful cards. If you keep using weak ones, you’re never going to improve.”
Cana looked so incredulous that she almost laughed.
“Are you seriously saying that with a straight face? The cards I’m using right now are the ones you sold me!”
Noah fell silent for two full seconds.
Then he chose to pretend he had heard nothing.
“Face reality, Cana! From the moment you chose Card Magic, there was only ever one path available to you if you wanted to become stronger!”
He pointed at her dramatically.
“You have to spend money!”
“You are so damn annoying…”
Cana immediately raised another barrel and began drinking.
Glug, glug, glug.
After draining it in record time, she lowered the empty barrel and seemed to think of something.
Her annoyed expression suddenly melted into a mischievous grin.
“How about this, then? Sell the cards to me for thirty thousand Jewels, and I’ll make a sacrifice and go on a date with you.”
She deliberately puffed out her chest.
“You’ve never actually gone on a date with a girl before, have you? Want to give it a try?”
Gray covered his face with one hand.
‘And she’s stopped being serious again.’
Noah stared at Cana.
‘Pretty sure that offer is the part where I’m getting robbed.’
He gently placed both hands against the sides of Cana’s head and slowly turned her away from him.
“Heh. Dream on. Go back to drinking your cheap booze, broke girl. Talk to me again when you actually have money.”
Trying to swindle him out of his merchandise?
Not a chance.
Cana twisted back around indignantly.
“Aren’t you always going on about treating every customer equally?”
“Broke people are exempt.”
“You really are a damn scam artist!”
Cana stormed away, grumbling under her breath.
Noah turned and noticed that sometime during the spectacle, Gray had somehow removed his shirt again without realizing it.
He stared for a moment, considering the sight.
“Gray, how about I modify your clothes? I could enchant them with some kind of automatic tracking spell so they always find their way back to you.”
“Huh?”
Gray looked down.
“Wait, where the hell did my shirt go?!”
“Don’t worry. I’ll do this one for free.” Noah gave him a disgusted once-over.
“Mostly because I’m tired of having to look at you.”
“No, thanks. I don’t really see a problem with this.”
Noah’s expression became even more disgusted.
“Ugh. So you really are an exhibitionist.”
He turned away and began searching the guild hall for his next potential customer.
“Bisca, Alzack! You two are awfully close these days. When are you getting married? Oh, right—I’ve recently made a few incredible magic guns. Guaranteed to add some serious firepower to your relationship. Come by the shop sometime and give them a try…”
Bisca immediately went red.
‘Honestly… we’re nowhere near that stage yet.’
Alzack, equally flushed, suddenly found himself unable to look in her direction.
‘That’s way too embarrassing…’
The two of them spent every day staring at each other so much that neither had heard a single word of Noah’s sales pitch.
Noah moved on.
“Reedus, that painting looks amazing. Come to think of it, you’ve been using that brush for ages. It’s probably time to replace it, and I just happen to—”
“No, thanks. I’m happy with the brush I have.”
Another failure.
Noah immediately turned toward Levy.
“Levy, studying hard as always? Reading for too long is bad for your eyes, you know. How about a new pair of glasses? They only cost—”
The petite, somewhat shy Levy had never been particularly good at dealing with Noah’s aggressive salesmanship, so she simply stayed silent.
Noah’s eyes sharpened.
‘Hm?
She didn’t say no.’
Naturally, he seized the opening.
“Letter Magic puts a lot of strain on a Mage, you know. You’ve been using that pen for months too, haven’t you? I recently made an excellent Magic Pen that would be perfect for someone using Solid Script. It writes smoothly, handles magic beautifully, and even looks stylish. Why don’t you stop by the shop sometime and test it? As for the price, we can always negotiate. You know I’ve always been—”
“Stay away from Levy!” two voices shouted at once.
The two self-appointed guardians beside her suddenly sprang into action.
“What are you two doing?! I’m just trying to sell her something! Hey, let go! Stop dragging me—”
A moment later, Noah was being physically hauled away.
“You damn simps!” he shouted as they pushed him back.
“No wonder you’re both going to stay single forever!”
Still grumbling, Noah eventually made his way upstairs.
These people were unbelievable.
He was only trying to help them.
He had even gone out of his way to design equipment specifically suited to them, and the prices were perfectly reasonable.
So why did everyone keep calling him a scam artist?
Erza really was the ideal customer.
Sure, he might squeeze a little extra profit out of her here and there, but at least she never hesitated when it came time to buy something.
‘Maybe my sales pitch really does need work.’
All this selling was exhausting.
‘Forget it.
I’ll take a job and clear my head.’
Noah wandered over to the request board and swept his gaze across the sheets pinned to it.
After a moment, he raised one index finger and closed his eyes.
“Eeny, meeny, miny, moe… whichever one I land on, that’s where I go!”
He opened his eyes.
His fingertip had landed on a request that looked strangely familiar.
[Lift the curse from an island.]
Location: Galuna Island.
Reward: 7,000,000 Jewels and one Gold Celestial Spirit Key.
Noah stared at it for a moment.
“Huh? Isn’t this…”
He dug through the increasingly dusty memories of the original story until everything clicked into place.
A grin slowly appeared on his face.
“Oh-ho. Now this could be interesting.”
End of Chapter 5