[ Group 2 psychological study participants through here ]
Hmm, wouldn’t they usually have the groups next to each other?
If I was hired instead of these useless clowns this would have been done a lot better.
Or maybe it’s one of those really serious studies where it’s fully separated.
Nah it's more likely they just suck at their jobs.
I walked through the door and saw an unfamiliar researcher I didn't see in the group interview when applying for the job.
Tch, must have been a parachute hire. Godamn neptoism.
There were also another 7 nobodies sitting down, staring at me with a slight frowns.
“Thanks for waiting, know ya needed me.”
While I would usually apologise here out of habit for being the last to arrive, this is a psychological study where I’m getting paid to be here and its a slight f*** you to the institute for not hiring me.
So basically, I can do whatever I want. In fact, the researchers should be glad to have a selfish asshole to help diversify their data.
“Please take your seat, participant no. 2, here at the front.”
Fshhh
I deliberately scraped my seat along the ground and then sat.
On the table was a tablet and some paper with the faint outline of text showing on the other side clearly facing down.
“Thank you for coming to our study participants. For what we are doing today, I need you to imagine that what I am saying will indeed happen. So please take this seriously.”
As that was said, I could feel a weird pressure affecting my body, almost as if gravity was turned up a notch.
The director, psychologist… person, whatever they’re called, tapped away on their laptop as I experienced this foreign sensation and the tablet in front of me lit up.
“For this study, we want you all to gamify life.”
Another participant raised their hand.
“Yes, participant no. 6.”
“Gamify as in like video games like final bosses, swords, magic and quests?” he said with pure glee in his tone.
“Yes and no, it depends on the majority vote. Ah and before you guys try to coordinate, there is to be no communication. But back to the question, to gamify we need a goal, whether that is money, romantic partners, fame or any other idea you have of what should be a goal for what you believe it to be.”
As they finished speaking the tablet in front of me lit up.
[ What is the goal of life? ]
Hmm, what do I believe the goal of an everyday person should be…
Well, obviously life satisfaction those obsessed with money, fame and whatever can significantly affect the world but most who go down that path inevitably fall short of their goals and end up unhappy.
[ Fame ]
But do I care about enlightening these researchers and preventing outliers in the data?
Or would I rather be an annoying asshole therefore invalidating all their work…
“Now obviously in a video game you need a way to keep track of your progress or a way to measure your success towards a goal, whether it be an exp bar for levelling up or someone's bank account balance to become the world's richest person.”
[ How is Fame measured? ]
…Is there a way to joke about this? It's fame after all, it is simply do x amount of people know your name and/or face.
I mean, I could try and say something obscene and go for the plumber/teacher/astronaut route, but I think that's too much of a stretch.
Or I could say how many obsessive fans they have...
As I started to write down my ludicrous answer a subtle but distinct feeling emerged in my gut. My instincts are telling me right now that this is not something I should be writing down and my intuition has never failed me... at least yet.
Better be safe then.
[ Percentage of population that knows who they are ]
“Next is incentives, rewards or feedback, whatever term you think fits in best. Should someone be rewarded for hitting a milestone, should they be punished for missing it, should there be any feedback at all?”
[ How should one give feedback when progressing toward their goal? ]
What am I, Pavlov's dog?
What kind of self-respecting adult needs a hit of dopamine to achieve their so-called life's purpose?
But...
[ Through random prizes, using a gacha system with high probability of mid-ranking rewards, near zero chance of low-ranking rewards, and moderate chance of high-ranking rewards ]
My genius sometimes scares me, making it as complicated and stupid as possible, have fun researchers.
“Next, we need a reward, a why. Why should someone try and reach the goal that was set?”
[ What is the reward for winning and the punishment for losing? ]
Heh, this one is pretty obvious.
The thing all emperors and scholars of the past have tried to achieve but never could… immortality.
Who wants to die?
Not me.
[ Immortality (Winning) Wearing a Game, Eat, Sleep, Repeat shirt in public (Losing) ]
“Are there leaderboards to stimulate competition? Are there rewards and punishments for where they place?”
Shiver
Just thinking about my mom’s Candy Crush leaderboard boasting gave me the chills.
[ Are there leaderboards? And if so, are there rewards and punishments for placement? ]
[ No ]
…Too traumatic.
“Alright, now I want all of you to pick up your tablets as you’ll be choosing the settings, character creation, background and more.”
Time period: Prehistoric | Ancient History (start of empires) | 1900s | Modern Day | 2100s | 3000s | Random
Fantasy: No | Yes (sub-options available)
Location: North America | Asia | Africa | Europe | South America | ???
Hmm, there isn’t even really a joke pick here. If I pick Prehistoric, I’d just become dinosaur food, everything before Modern Day would just be being drafted into wars or living a life of inconvenience, knowing the value of modern conveniences like hot showers, proper food and the internet.
Wait, why am I answering this seriously? I’d never even consider doing this properly unless it directly affected me…
Is this my intuition warning me again?
The one time I didn't listen to my intuition, I did lose out on being the first investor in a pyramid scheme, which could have earned me millions. Provided I got out early enough to not be one of the losers losing it all...
I might just take this seriously; this weird gravity-like effect seems to be intensifying. I kinda already screwed with my previous answers if they actually do anything, I might be cooked.
Well, back on track, the future is just going to be a dystopian nightmare due to the inevitable extremism of capitalism, so no thanks.
Fantasy… no thank you, I don’t want to be in the starter village when a dragon has a tantrum and decides to give all the residents an outdoor spa experience (fire).
Location, hmmmm. If I lived in one of those areas like America or Europe, it’d be easier… And they just ignored Antarctica (and Oceania) how could they do that to my homeboy (where I live).
But my intuition doesn’t seem to be against the ??? option.
[ Modern Day (Time Period) | No (Fantasy) | ??? (Location) ]
Just keep it as similar to now as possible. Others may call me a coward, but I’d rather be an alive coward than a dead hero.
[ Modern Day +50 | No +100 | ??? (Oceania) +100 ]
Oooo, I like those pluses and my guess that ??? would be part of Oceania/Antarctica seems correct.
“You should be seeing numbers on the screen connected to each choice you made. If your screen is missing these numbers, please raise your hand.”
“It says +0 on my 1900s and—”
Someone actually picked the time with The Great Depression, 2 World Wars and the Cold War, really?
“Participant no. 1, don’t say anymore of your choices; remember I said no communication. The reason for 0 points for a pick would be due to too many people picking the same thing. If 4 or more people out of the 8 here pick something, it becomes 0.”
4 or more people picked that time period. What kind of idiots are these people?
Fwoosh
Did someone just look at the paper?
Tap tap tap .. / .... .- ...- . / .- / ..-. .. -. .- -. -.-. . (I have a financ—)
“Participant no. 1, I already warned you. 10-point deduction. No communication.”
What happened to subtlety?
Even I can tell this is clearly Morse Code.
Not that I know what they are saying...
“Back to our tablets, based on your choices, you have a certain number of points that can go towards certain areas. This character will be used to achieve the goal you set up earlier."
Gender: Male -5 points | Female -5 points | Random +10 Points
Family Background: Orphan +10 points | Poor | Middle-Class -25 points | Rich -100 points | The 0.1% -250 points | Random + 10 Points
Attribute potential 1 to 100: Physique | Mental | Charisma
Hmmm, with 350 points I could just go full 100 in each Attribute and go Middle-Class and have it easy…
But she did earlier say character creation and this is a bit lacking for a customisable character, so better to leave excess points for the next section. Worst-case scenario, I have extra points leftover.
And while I might not be a gambling man, I most definitely love loopholes.
[ Random (female) +10 points | Rich -100 points | 0, 0, 0 ]
I was hoping for male…
[ Error! Error! Error! Can not accept 0 values… new values given
Random +10 points | Rich -100 points | 100, 100, 100 -100 points]
Did I achieve the integer overflow feat famous in novels?
Hehe, it is but a simple trick.
With a range that has the minimum as 1 lower that to 0, which is not in the range of numbers the system can take, this will force it to go the next number within the range wrapping it around to the max value (100).
Heh, imagine it the other way around, going from 101 to 1. That'd be hilarious.
“Participants no. 1, 2, 4 and 7, I’ll allow it to go through, but an additional 100 points will be taken away from each of you, but for the two participants without the 100 excess points, I’ll make you have 50 for each attribute and remove all excess points.”
Huh?
I wasn’t the only one who found the exploit…
I mean, I guess I was the only one (except one other) who remembered the psychologist, director, person, whatever, can take points away, so I get to actually keep the gains.
“This’ll be the last section for those without points. Make sure to scroll to the curses at the very bottom.”
The person then walked out of the room.
An air of mystery seemed to encapsulate the room as the feeling of intense gravity slightly dissipated.
Wait, what did they look like?
What gender were they?
Were they a director or a psychologist?
Overall: Genius -50 points | Prodigy -20 points | Lifespan Extension 1 point per year | Blessed Childhood -50 points | Heaven’s Child -150 points | …
Physical: Muscle Enhancer -25 points | Speed Demon -25 points | Dexterous Limbs -25 points | Blessed Physique -50 points | …
Mental: Eidetic Memory -25 points | IQ Increase 5 points per IQ point | Highway Brain -25 points | …
Charisma: Angel’s Voice -25 points | Beautiful -50 points | Naturally likeable -25 points | …
Skills: Mimicry -25 points | Gaming Prodigy -25 points | Appraise Object -25 points | 1 Second Future Sight -25 points | …
Life: Lucky -50 points | Good Birth -25 points | Blessed Encounters -25 points | Regeneration -50 points …
Curses: Envied +10 points | Blind +30 points | Deaf +30 points | …