Felix arrives at his psionics class, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. He's never formally studied psionics before, even if he uses it. So he's not sure what to expect. He enters the classroom and is surprised to see that it's set up like a meditation circle, with cushions on the floor instead of desks. There are already a few students sitting there, their eyes closed and their breathing steady. Though almost all of them react to his entrance and some even open their eyes to look at him.
He spots a familiar face among them, Eleanor, the woman who tested him during the admissions process. Seated in the center. She notices him right away without having to look in his direction, but isn't as bothered as the students. In fact she seems amused. She greets him with a smile, "Welcome, Felix. I'm glad you made it. Please, take a seat and we'll begin."
Felix sits down on one of the cushions, trying to mimic the other students' posture. He crosses his legs and rests his hands on his knees, closing his eyes. He can feel the energy in the room, a sense of calm and focus that he's never experienced before. It's both strange and comforting at the same time. He takes a deep breath and tries to clear his mind, but it's harder than he thought it would be. His thoughts keep drifting back to his other classes, his conversation with Nya, his sparring session with Grog, and his conversation with Luna. He wonders how he's supposed to meditate when his mind is so full of noise.
While he's trying, a voice breaks through his thoughts. It's not Eleanor's voice, it's coming from one of the other students. "Hey, new guy, could you tone it down a bit? You're being really loud." Felix opens his eyes and looks around, confused. He doesn't see anyone talking to him, and he hasn't made a sound. He's about to ask what the student means, when another voice chimes in, "Yeah, seriously. It's like you're shouting in my ear non-stop, well, my mind, you know what I mean." Felix realizes that they're not speaking out loud, they're using their minds to communicate. It's a strange sensation, like hearing voices in his head, but not quite. He can sense the emotions behind the words, the annoyance and curiosity.
He looks at Eleanor, who's watching him with a knowing look. "I see you've discovered the side effects of being an untrained psion. It seems you're projecting your thoughts quite strongly, without even realizing it. That can be very disruptive for other psions, especially in a setting like this." She explains, her tone gentle but firm. "Also a consequence of this lack of formal training is a lack of formal mental defense. We can speak in your mind without you specifically letting us in because there's no lock on the front door of your mind. With the front door analogy, it's like we're all in your living room complaining about the noise, and came in uninvited because you didn't lock your front door."
"A lock?" Felix asks out loud, feeling a bit overwhelmed by this new information. "What does leaving your mind unlocked mean? How do you even lock your mind?"
Eleanor’s face contorts with exasperation, "I knew you weren't formally trained, but have you seriously never even considered the very concept of shielding your mind?!"
Felix scratches his head, "I mean, I've gotten into the mind of someone who was trying to cast a spell and made him miscast and basically had his fireball blow up in his face. Though I don't know why I'd need to worry about that unless I'm in a fight. Even then I've never really felt that vulnerable."
One of the students who was complaining earlier speaks up again, "I can't believe this guy. How can he be so powerful and yet so clueless? It's like he's a walking disaster waiting to happen." Another student snorts, "I don't know, I'm kind of impressed. I've never seen anyone project their thoughts so strongly and consistently. It's like he's broadcasting on every frequency at once."
One of the other students, a young man with a scowl on his face, seems to take offense at the comment. He glares at Felix, "Don't praise this idiot. He's just a liability. We should teach him a lesson." Before anyone can react, he lunges at Felix mentally, his psionic energy lashing out like a whip. It's meant to be a painful but harmless warning, a way to put Felix in his place.
Felix however, doesn't just take it. Something inside him snaps, and he retaliates without thinking. His psionic energy flares up, meeting the other student's attack with a force that's both raw and unrefined. It's like a tidal wave crashing against a rock, overwhelming and unstoppable. The other student gasps, his eyes widening in shock and pain. He clutches his head, his face contorting in agony. "How can psionic backlash be like this?!" He cries out, his voice echoing in Felix's mind.
Eleanor quickly steps in, her own psionic energy to sever the psionic connection between the two students "Enough! Stop this at once. This is not the way to resolve conflicts." She then turns to the attacking student who's still reeling from the backlash. "While you, Arden, should know better than to attack a fellow student without provocation. You know about psionic boundaries and to expect psionic backlash. To experience how loud his mind is and then decide to attack is beyond reckless. As a second year, you have no excuse to not know better."
Arden is gritting his teeth and clutching his head as he responds with venom, "But Professor, you saw what he did to me! He could have killed me!"
Eleanor shakes her head, her expression stern "You initiated an attack against a mind whose strength you had already observed and whose defenses you knew nothing about. The backlash was a direct consequence of your own action. He doesn't know how to control his power yet, but that's why he's here. To learn." She looks at Felix, her gaze softening a bit. "While you, Felix, I know this is all new to you, but you need to be more aware of your surroundings. Your power is impressive, but it can also be dangerous if you don't learn to harness it. I'll help you as much as I can, but you have to be willing to put in the effort. I can't hold your hand every step of the way."
Felix nods, feeling chastened and a bit scared. He had no idea his psionics could be so volatile, or that he could hurt someone like that. He doesn't want to be a danger to others, especially not his classmates.
"Though this changes things, and makes me want to know. How many other psionic abilities have you been using, and as a refresher, how long?" She asks, her voice serious.
Felix shrugs, "Well not formal techniques, but I've been using my psionically assisted spellcasting for about six years. I used psionic intention to circulate mana through my body in combat class a few hours ago, and after that I used mental tracking to find my magic teacher." He lists off, counting on his fingers. "That's about it, I think."
Eleanor raises an eyebrow, "That's... quite a lot, actually, and you've been doing all this without any guidance or instruction?" She sounds both impressed and concerned.
Felix nods, "Yeah, I just sort of... figured it out as I went along. It felt natural to me, so I didn't think much of it."
Eleanor sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Well, that explains a lot. You have a natural talent for psionics, but you also have a lot of bad habits and gaps in your knowledge. Though there's something very important I need to know…” Eleanor's eyes widen even more, then she seems mad. "Mental tracking you say? Explain, now. How were you doing it, what was the sensation like, how often were you checking her location, and was it weaker when you were further away?" She demands, her tone leaving no room for argument.
Felix gulps, feeling a bit intimidated by her sudden intensity. "Well, I just... focused on her presence, I guess. It was like a mental beacon, a feeling of warmth and familiarity. I'm not even sure what you mean by 'checking' I felt her location the whole time I was trying to find the right path. Also, it did get stronger and more concrete as I got closer. I'm not sure if that answers your questions, but that's what I remember."
Eleanor looks like she could explode, "Where did you start doing it and end doing it? How long do you think you were doing it?" She asks, her voice tight.
Felix thinks back, trying to recall the details. "I think I started when I left the combat grounds, after my class with Grog. I kept doing it until I found her, I'm not sure how long that was. Maybe ten minutes?"
Eleanor looks at him like he's grown a second head. "So let me get this straight. Instead of pinging for her location occasionally, you were putting out an endless and non-stop thrum of psionic energy. While moving from one end of the campus to the other, for ten, straight, minutes... Do I have that right? Is that what you're telling me?"
Felix nods, feeling like he's in trouble for some reason. "Yeah, that sounds about right. I didn't know it was a problem. It didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong."
Eleanor rubs her temples, sighing heavily. "Felix, what you did was like shouting at the top of your lungs while walking through a crowded street. Anyone with a modicum of psionic sensitivity would have been able to hear you, even if they weren't paying attention. It's a miracle no one came to investigate the source of the noise." She shakes her head, "You need to learn some basic mental discipline, and fast. Or else you're going to cause a lot of problems for yourself and others."
In fact, one of the other students is glaring daggers at him, "You mean that constant buzzing in my head earlier today was you?! Ohh... You asshole!" He grits his teeth in anger, but doesn't make a move to attack him. Though it's clear that Felix has made another enemy.
Eleanor holds up her hand, stopping the student from saying anything else. "Enough. This is a learning experience for all of us, not a blame game. We'll address the issue and move on. Felix, I expect you to work on your mental control and defense, starting today. I'll assign you some exercises and readings to help you with that. Actually I don't think even that's enough. We're doing this now. I won't let you wander around in your current state for even one more second."
She turns to the rest of the class, her expression stern. "This is an effective lesson plan change. We're all learning about mental boundaries, those who already know it are getting a refresher. Everyone, close your eyes and focus on your minds. Imagine a barrier around your thoughts, a shield that protects you from unwanted intrusion. It can be anything you want, a wall, a dome, a bubble, whatever works for you. The important thing is that it's solid and impenetrable, but also flexible enough to let through what you want. Felix, I will try to infiltrate your mind, try to keep me out. The rest of you, work on your mental shielding to keep Felix's 'noise' out."
Felix does as he's told, trying to visualize a barrier around his mind. He imagines a thick, sturdy wall, made of the strongest material he can think of. He feels a bit of resistance as he does so, like he's pushing against something. He ignores it and focuses on reinforcing his barrier, making it thicker and more resilient. He can sense Eleanor's presence, probing and testing his defenses, but he doesn't let her in. He feels a sense of pride and accomplishment, knowing that he's able to keep her out.
Yet then he starts to feel a strange draining sensation, like his energy is being sucked out of him. He realizes with a start that his barrier is too rigid, too demanding. It's taking all of his concentration and power to maintain it, and he can't keep it up for long. He tries to adjust it, to make it more flexible and efficient, but he doesn't know how. He's never had to think about this before, and he's at a loss. He feels his barrier weakening, his mind becoming more exposed.
Eleanor senses this and eases up on her probing, giving him a chance to recover. "It's a start, Felix, but terrible. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. You need to learn to balance your defense with your energy consumption. A good shield should be like a sieve, not a dam. It should filter out what you don't want, but let through what you do. It should also be adaptable, able to change shape and size according to your needs. It's not easy, but it's essential if you want to be a competent psion."
Felix nods, feeling a bit dejected but also determined. He knows he has a long way to go, but he's willing to put in the effort. He takes a deep breath and tries again, this time focusing on making his barrier more porous and pliable. He imagines a mesh, a net, a filter that can catch the unwanted thoughts and emotions, but allow the rest to pass through. He still feels some resistance, but it's less than before. He can feel his energy levels stabilizing, his mind becoming more clear and calm.
Then Eleanor mentally punches right through it effortlessly. "That's better, but still not good enough. You need to be able to reinforce your shield at a moment's notice, in case of an unexpected attack. You also need to be able to camouflage your presence, so that others can't sense you as easily. We'll work on that next time, and it'll be tomorrow's practice. For now that leaves 'toning down the volume'. Which means having thoughts that aren't psionically backed." Then one of the students, a girl, reacts, "How could someone use psionics for six years and not know how to?..." She starts before it clicks in her mind, "Oh... That explains a lot..."
Eleanor sighs, "Yes, it's like he's been pouring fuel on a flame continuously for six years. Of course it explains a lot of what we've experienced in class today. That's why he needs to learn how to stop pouring fuel on it, and learn it now. Not tomorrow, not in a few, now." She looks at Felix with a stern expression. "I'm going to walk you through sensing your own mind and psionic energy. Once you can sense your own psionic energy, then you'll be able to not use it when you think. It'll be hard, your energy will try to keep running wild on momentum, it'll be like trying to dam an actively raging river, but you need to do it. Now that you know it's your responsibility to fix this." Her eyes soften a bit, "Don't worry, I'm here to guide you. You can do this."
Felix nods, feeling a bit overwhelmed but also grateful for her support. He closes his eyes again and tries to follow her instructions, focusing on his own mind and psionic energy. It's a strange sensation, like looking at himself from the inside out. He can feel the energy coursing through him, pulsing and vibrating with his thoughts and emotions. He can also feel the excess, the part that's leaking out and affecting others. It's like a constant hum, a background noise that he's been tuning out for years. Now that he's aware of it, he can't ignore it anymore.
He tries to tone it down, to reduce the output, but it's harder than he thought. His mind keeps trying to slip back to its old habits, broadcasting his thoughts and feelings without constraint. He has to constantly remind himself to rein it in, to keep it under control. It's exhausting and frustrating, but he doesn't give up. He keeps practicing, even after the class is over and the other students have left. Eleanor stays with him, telling him when he's letting it slip. Even telling him things she senses in his thoughts that he didn't realize were being broadcast.
"Come on, Felix, you're getting sloppy. I can hear you thinking about how hungry you are and how much you want to go home. Focus on your shield, not your stomach." She says, her voice stern but patient.
Felix groans, rubbing his eyes. "I'm trying, but it's hard. My mind keeps wandering. How am I even supposed to do this right now? I'm a living paradox. I'm not supposed to use psionic energy to try and contain psionic energy, right?!" He complains, feeling a bit whiny.
Eleanor chuckles, "You're not wrong, but you're not exactly in a normal situation either. You've been using psionics for so long without any restraint, it's become second nature to you. It's like a muscle that's been overworked, it needs to be retrained and relaxed. You need to learn to let go, to not use psionics for every little thing. It'll take time and practice, but you'll get there. You've already made progress, you should be proud of yourself."
Felix smiles weakly, feeling a bit better. "Thanks, Professor. You're a good teacher. Though I don't think I'm going to get any better by the end of the day." He admits, feeling a bit discouraged.
Eleanor nods, "That's fine, I don't expect you to master this in one day. Though I do expect you to keep working on it, every day, until it becomes natural to you. I'll be checking up on you, so don't slack off." She stands up, stretching her arms. "Now, go home and get some rest. You've earned it, and remember, keep your shield up and your noise down." She says as she finally dismisses him.
Felix stands up too, feeling a bit wobbly. His mind feels like it's been put through a wringer, but also like it's been cleaned and polished. He thanks Eleanor and heads out the door, feeling a new sense of purpose and determination. He knows it won't be easy, but he's ready to face the challenge. He has to, for his own sake and for others.
Felix walks home, the sun is barely setting, but he's done fore the day anyway because he's so worn down. He can't wait to see his mom and tell her about his day. He knows she'll be happy for him, and maybe a bit worried too. He also needs to remember to tell her about Luna, and how she wants to meet her. He's sure his mom will be thrilled to hear that.
He reaches his house and opens the door, calling out, "Mom, I'm home!" He hears a noise from the kitchen and walks in, finding his mom cooking dinner. She turns around and smiles at him, her eyes sparkling. "Felix! How was your first day? Did you have fun?" She asks, wiping her hands on her apron.
Felix's expression is mixed, "Well... It started out great. My magic class was exciting with a really nice cat beastkin woman teacher who's the first beastkin to ever be nice to me, I made a friend in combat class named Grog, I met a nice wood elf classmate named Luna who looks up to you and would want to meet you, but seems pretty nervous about it." He lists off, counting on his fingers.
Melina's eyes widen at the mention of a cat beastkin teacher, but she doesn't interrupt him. She listens attentively, her expression curious. When he mentions Luna, she gasps softly. "She wants to meet me? That's so sweet of her. I'd love to meet her too. You should invite her over sometime." She says, her voice warm and inviting.
Felix nods, smiling a bit. "Yeah, I told her that, but she's a bit shy about it. I think she'll come around eventually though." He then sighs, his smile fading. "But then my psionics class was... intense. The teacher, Eleanor, was the same one from the entrance exams. She's nice, but she made me realize how much of a mess I am with psionics. I've been using it all wrong for years, and I've been bothering other people without even knowing it. I even hurt a student who attacked me, with psionic backlash. Eleanor said it wasn't my fault, but it still felt wrong to not be in control of it. Anyway I've been working on my mental discipline and shielding, but it's exhausting. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all this new information and how to apply it."
Melina walks over to him and hugs him, her arms wrapping around him tightly. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so proud of you. You're learning so much and growing so fast. It's natural to feel overwhelmed sometimes, but you're doing great. I'm sure you'll master psionics in no time." She kisses his forehead, her lips soft and warm. "Just remember to take care of yourself, okay? Don't push yourself too hard, and if you ever need anything, I'm always here for you." She says, pulling back to look at him with a loving gaze.
Melina looks him over more, "Speaking of which... You didn't eat lunch, did you? You look like you haven't eaten since breakfast." She frowns slightly, her eyes narrowing. "Felix, you know you need to eat regularly. You can't just skip meals, especially on a day like this. You need to keep your strength up."
Felix feels a bit guilty, he had been so caught up in his classes and his new experiences that he completely forgot about lunch. "I'm sorry, mom. I just... didn't think about it. I guess I was too excited, or maybe too nervous. I don't know." He admits, scratching his head.
Melina sighs, shaking her head. "Well, lucky for you, I made enough food for an army. I had a feeling you'd be extra hungry today." She leads him to the table and sits him down, placing a plate of food in front of him. "Eat up, you need it." She says, sitting across from him with her own plate.
Felix looks at the food and his mouth waters. It looks amazing right now, meat pie with mashed potatoes and gravy. He digs in eagerly, savoring the flavors and textures. He feels his energy is starting to return, his body relaxing a little. He feels the love in his mother's cooking and it warms his heart. He really is lucky to have her.