She had come back to life.
It took Nan Shu a long time to process this fact.
Qing Zhu stepped forward to lower the bed curtains. Seeing Nan Shu staring blankly at her hands, she thought she was still frightened and comforted her: “Don’t be afraid, miss. This servant will accompany you outside. It’s late now, you should rest early.”
Nan Shu nodded gently.
“Xiuyi Niangniang will surely want to see you first thing tomorrow morning. Because of your entry into the palace, Consort Xie has mocked Xiuyi Niangniang several times already…”
“Consort Xie?”
Knowing she wasn’t familiar with the palace situation, Qing Zhu explained: “Consort Xie is the young lady from Duke of Chu Manor. She and Xiuyi Niangniang have been at odds since their maiden days.”
Nan Shu’s brows suddenly furrowed. She recalled one day in her previous life at the separate courtyard, when a palace maid named Xue Ji appeared before her, saying she could take her into the city to see him.
But when she saw him at the tavern, separated by a door, she heard someone ask:
“Your Highness has been away from the capital for many years. Now you’ve finally achieved your wish and reconciled with Miss Xie.”
“The legitimate daughter of Duke of Chu Manor – such status truly deserves the position of Empress.”
“I heard Your Highness kept a concubine while in the northwest. How will you arrange for her? Will you bring her into the palace too?”
A familiar, languid male voice responded: “Just an outside woman, not worth the trouble.”
She couldn’t remember how she returned that day. She fled in panic, not daring to let anyone know she had been there.
After returning, she suffered complications in her pregnancy and nearly miscarried.
Xie Shi, Duke of Chu Manor.
So it was her.
Childhood sweethearts, youthful affection. After missing each other for five years, he had finally achieved his wish.
Coming back to her senses, Nan Shu smiled bitterly and shook her head.
Enough. His affairs had nothing to do with her anymore.
Death extinguishes like a lamp – what use was there in thinking more?
She had accompanied him for five years, through the difficult times in the northwest. In his midnight dreams, did he ever feel guilt for what he had done? Would he treat her Sui An well out of this guilt?
Nan Shu wanted to inquire about Sui An’s situation, but being new to the palace and unfamiliar with everything, it wasn’t appropriate to act rashly and risk arousing Consort Rong’s suspicion.
In an instant, Nan Shu’s turbulent heartstrings calmed.
She was worried about another matter – if she stayed in the palace, how could she avoid meeting that person?
What if he suspected she hadn’t died and tried to kill her again?
The quiet night was deep and heavy, but Nan Shu felt no sleepiness.
Her mind was filled with countless thoughts, memories of her past and present lives intertwining in her mind. She couldn’t believe she had come back to life, constantly afraid that if she closed her eyes, she would never wake up again.
After dozing off vaguely for a while, Nan Shu was awakened by Qing Zhu.
“Miss, we should go see Xiuyi Niangniang now.”
Nan Shu was temporarily staying at Chu Xiu Palace. Since there weren’t many consorts in the palace, many halls were empty. Consort Rong probably didn’t want her living under her direct supervision, so she had reported to the Empress Dowager to let her stay at Chu Xiu Palace.
Walking along the cold, oppressive palace paths, there were quite a few palace servants coming and going, but each kept their eyes lowered and moved so quietly that even their footsteps were inaudible.
After passing Chonghua Gate, they entered the rear palace area. It would only take another quarter hour to reach Yu Tang Hall where Consort Rong resided.
Nan Shu had been keeping her guard up. The oppressive atmosphere in the Imperial City was making her somewhat nervous.
Just as Yu Tang Hall came into view not far ahead, before she could relax, sudden clapping sounds came from the front.
It was the signal to clear the way for the emperor’s procession.
Nan Shu’s face abruptly changed color.
Beside her, Qing Zhu immediately assumed an expression of utmost reverence, hastily pulling Nan Shu to kneel at the base of the palace wall.
For a moment, Nan Shu was slow to react, but the pain in her knees and the flash of bright yellow in her peripheral vision suddenly brought her back to her senses.
The warm spring sun fell upon her, yet it couldn’t disperse the sudden chill in Nan Shu’s heart.
How could she have encountered the Imperial Carriage?
Nan Shu bit her lip hard, her hands pressed against the ground involuntarily clenching. She kept her head tightly lowered, wishing she could bury herself in the earth.
Steady, powerful footsteps gradually drew nearer. Nan Shu’s throat felt dry, and a drop of sweat fell to the ground like a stone cast into still water, disturbing the calm of her heart.
The Luan Carriage did not stop. The firm footsteps gradually faded into the distance. Nan Shu’s clothes clung tightly to her back—in just a moment, she had broken out in a cold sweat.
Leaning on Qing Zhu’s arm, Nan Shu slowly rose. The breeze lifted the hem of her skirt, and her face was so pale she seemed about to dissipate in the wind.
Qing Zhu asked with concern, “Miss, are you unwell somewhere?”
Nan Shu silently shook her head.
She had overthought it. How could those in high positions notice the ants beneath their feet?
“Let’s go.”
Her steps became much lighter as she followed behind Granny Qu, her slender figure soon disappearing down the palace path.
In the distance, just as the Luan Carriage was about to turn the corner, Yan Pingxiao suddenly glanced back.
The quiet palace path was filled only with coming and going palace servants and crabapple branches swaying in the wind.
The crabapple flowers bloomed and withered, the people in the Imperial City changed batch after batch, and before long, another winter had arrived.
Time flowed like drifting clouds and morning dew.
Yan Pingxiao vaguely recalled—it had been five years since she left.