And so, Feng Wuhen began his patient wait.
Waiting was a feeling difficult to describe—bittersweet, full of longing yet tinged with hope. Countless times, he imagined the cold, aloof figure of the young man in black pushing open the door and walking in. In those moments, he felt that life was worth it. But once his mind cleared, he realized it was all an illusion.
Shen Molan still hadn’t come.
One day in September, Feng Wuhen suddenly felt incredibly well, as if he had returned to his pre-poisoned state, full of energy from head to toe.
He called for Ying Zuo, but not the old steward or Xiao Lian, as he was afraid of their tears.
“Molan should still be on his way. If he arrives and I’m no longer here… just tell him I’ve gone to travel the world,” Feng Wuhen said with a smile. “That way, he probably won’t bother looking for me.”
Ying Zuo ppursed his lips, staring at Feng Wuhen without saying a word.
Feng Wuhen’s hair had turned completely white by now, and he had become more and more emaciated. However, his skin hadn’t yet caught up with the deterioration of his internal organs; there were only faint wrinkles. If one ignored his pale complexion, it might seem as if the young man had merely dyed his hair white on purpose.
But today, he was suddenly full of life, with a touch of color even on his cheeks. His voice carried the same old vigor from before.
This is the final burst of energy before death, Ying Zuo thought sorrowfully.
“As for my final wish,” Feng Wuhen paused, “when I’m gone, I want you and Ying You to cremate me and scatter my ashes in some random spot in the town where I lived as a child.”
Ying Zuo looked up in shock. “Master!”
Feng Wuhen smiled. “I just feel trapped in the Feng family. I’ve been here for over 10 years now. Why not fulfill my wish to ‘leave no trace’ after death?”
Ying Zuo’s face showed clear disapproval. “But…” You are reading on novelping.com, the official source.
“It’s settled. I’ve included everything in my will. If Uncle Fang and Xiao Lian try to stop you, show them my handwriting.” Feng Wuhen’s expression shifted into an amused smile. “It seems our Xiao Lian has a crush on someone. Since you’re the oldest of the three, you should look out for her and her little secrets.”
Ying Zuo froze for a moment, and a faint blush crept onto his bronze complexion. “Yes, Master.”
Feng Wuhen’s smile faded slightly as he gazed at Ying Zuo’s face. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy. So, Ying Zuo had feelings for Xiao Lian too. Everyone around him seemed to be able to find their soulmates, except for him.
Even the simple wish to see the one he loved for the last time had become a luxury.
Let it be.
After this final burst of energy, the pain returned, sharper than ever, as if his bones were being stripped away. Feng Wuhen lasted only another hour before he slipped into darkness once again.
Two days later, it was as if he had a premonition. He suddenly opened his eyes.
It felt like someone was there.
It was a black-clad figure. This time, he knew it wasn’t an illusion. Even though his vision was blurry, he saw the black-clothed figure enter the room and stop, seemingly stunned by what he saw. The figure appeared to shed tears.
Feng Wuhen felt as though he lifted his hand, though in reality, his fingers only twitched slightly under the blanket. He tried to smile the way he used to, though he wasn’t sure if the corners of his mouth actually moved.
“You’ve come…”
He wanted to smile, but instead, he felt warm liquid rolling down from the corners of his eyes.
So I can still cry, he thought to himself.
Because the one he had been waiting for hadn’t come after all.
It was Ying You who had arrived. This chapter is updated first at g.com.
In the end, he couldn’t even fool himself.
His last hope had been mercilessly shattered.
In truth, he should have known this result long ago. After all, when Shen Molan left, he had made it quite clear that he wanted to severe all ties. Feng Wuhen had seen it but chose not to acknowledge it.
He thought Ying You must feel guilty. Through his blurred vision, he vaguely saw the tall figure kneel down, saying something.
There’s no need to feel guilty… I just momentarily forgot who Shen Molan really is. How could Ying You possibly persuade him to come?
He thought he also heard Xiao Lian’s outburst of sobs, “Why didn’t he come?!”
Silly Xiao Lian. He truly does not care at all, why would he come?
It was just a little unfortunate…
I hope to never fall in love again and to never reunite with Molan in the next life.
The wind blew through September. Who cares if the west wind blows cold alone? Rustling yellow leaves close off the sparse windows.
At last, the young man on the bed smiled faintly and slowly closed his eyes.
END OF VOLUME I