"It is quite frankly appalling, that no one tells trans girls how to properly care for their hair! Like a good few of them grow it out and they just, never know how to do stuff. You can't just put shampoo into your hair, first of all, it's meant for the skin, and don't you dare wash your hair daily. That just ruins the hair! You need to do better! What do you mean you've never used conditioner?!"
~ Hairdresser Schampoo, during Luna Sol Doppler's first appointment with xem, 2019
"Uuuughhhhh this suuuucks," I whined.
Naruto gave me a pointed look.
"I mean yeah but like it's not that bad. Yeah it's tedious, but we are making progress."
I blinked and tilted my head. What was he- OH
"No, I'm talking about growing a tail, not," I gestured at broadly everything in the immediate vicinity, "...this."
We had met up again today at the incursion-site to clean up whatever we missed the other day. Well Naruto and I had at least. Liam spouted something about fixing ley-lines and dipped. He probably didn't want to deal with clean up, and I hated that I couldn't entirely blame him.
It was tedious and boring, but it wasn't impossible. Between my enhanced senses and Naruto's shadowclones, we were doing a good job clearing the area.
"...ah. Right. It's crazy that you can just do that, you know?"
My ears twitched in response to a model 3 thinking it was being sneaky, and I sent a blade to deal with it as an afterthought.
"I mean, is it really? You can do ninjutsu! And like, if you want, I'd let you borrow my stuff."
He was pretty cool, all things considered. While yes, he had hit on me at some point, I told him I'm not into guys and that was the last I've ever heard of it. So~, he did in fact meet the bare minimum standard. Yes, you may insert a joke about the bar being in hell here.
And he was genuinely fun to hang out with. Really the only thing I could critique was that he was straight, but like meh, we couldn't all be perfect.
"Oh, no uhh thanks but like," he nervously scratched his neck, "it's not necessary. And I don't wanna take away opportunities from people who need it, you know? Like trans people. I'm cis, so yeah, I don't really need this so it would be unfa-"
"Stop! I think that's a 5 over there."
I didn't actually see a model 5, but if I didn't interrupt him, he'd still be stammering about it tomorrow.
Which was weird, because I didn't really need a reason for why he didn't want to, a simple ‘no’ would have been enough. To be fair, I didn't tell him that, but I figured it was kinda implied.
Was he...? No, there was no way he was justifying not taking this opportunity to himself. Right?
"So, what do you think?"
Seraphine sighed.
"Well, when I told you to let me know if you ever needed legal representation, I didn't think it would be for a custody dispute. This entire thing sounds like one hell of a mess to be honest."
I had met her when somehow both of us had booked the same study-space at the same time. It was a bit awkward at first, but eventually we both just agreed to keep quiet and share the space. It was big enough for group-projects, so accommodating two people hadn't been an issue.
Surprisingly, I was not the one who broke the 'keep quiet' part of the agreement first, I just dove right into some proofs and that had a tendency of keeping me occupied and quiet.
No, Seraphine was first, by groaning in frustration, at what turned out to be some statistics problem.
We did eventually start talking, and I asked if I could take a look. Long story short, I ended up being Seraphine's personal math-tutor for the rest of her law degree. After that she told me to let her know if I ever needed a lawyer, and well...
I did what any reasonable person whose niece (tentative) had shown up on their doorstep, looking for a place to stay, would do. I lawyered up.
My expertise lay in nuclear physics and astronomy, not family law. And I would under no circumstances allow Katie to be forced to go back to that hell without putting up a fight.
My - by now fully grown - tail twitched in irritation. I prided myself in being a rather patient person, a requirement if one wishes to do any work involving children in my opinion.
But Lyona above, my parents' oldest daughter sure knew how to put it to the test. She was lucky that Katie was there and that I'd seen them flinch back when I was having a shouting-match with this sad excuse for a mother over the phone.
Well that and that I wasn't about to disregard my lawyer's advice right in front of her. Not that she'd specifically told me not to slap a bitch, I just figured that probably fell under 'Don't do anything stupid!'
The situation itself was pretty bizarre to be honest. I had asked Katie if they had everything they needed or if some things were left in their old room, and of course seeing how they were kicked out whilst at school, they didn't exactly have an opportunity to pack up their necessities.
Seraphine decided the best course of action to retrieve Katie's property was to involve law enforcement.
Which brings us back to the part where me and some poor cop - I can't believe I feel bad for a cop - were zoning out the Karen's vitriol whilst Katie packed their things and Seraphine was there to ensure no funny business was happening.
We did eventually get everything important stowed away in my - thanks to a sizable point investment and a lot of time spent underneath the body of the car - now self-driving (or rather Lyona-driving) capable car and wasted no time leaving.
This would mean the inevitable court-shenanigans would be happening sooner rather than later, but at least Katie now had all their school-utilities.
The drive home was silent. I had initially turned on the radio, but when the news broadcaster started talking about how our conservative and alt-right parties were already spewing hate again, I turned it off, frustratedly.
Apparently a literal alien invasion right out of some sci-fi movie was not a valid reason to stop being transmisic or hateful. I really despised our society sometimes...
Quiet sobs cut through the silence.
Ah shit. Katie did not deserve that. They just wanted to be themselves and be loved and apparently that was too much to ask.
I considered pulling over on the side but decided to let Lyona take the wheel for now.
I turned to my niece? Nibling. I turned to my nibling. They were quivering and from the looks of it trying and failing to hold back tears.
"Katie, hon, are you alright?"
It was a stupid question, the answer was obviously no, but still.
If it could distract them for a bit, that would be good enough.
I got sniffles instead of an answer. Well at least it wasn't full on ugly-crying. It could be worse.
"Okay, following idea: We'll go stop at this one really good restaurant, get some comfort-food, then head home, you can raid my fridge for whatever cake, pie, pastry or other baked goods you want, and then we'll sit down on the couch and watch movies that are so bad, they're good. Does that sound like something you'd want?"
Katie hesitantly nodded. My experience in coping with my own heartbreak was coming in handy. Which was good. I think. Probably.
"Oh that tail is real? Loving the new style by the way girlie, you look absolutely fab-u-lous!"
Xey waved xeir hands at me for dramatic effect.
I couldn't help but smile as I nodded to confirm. It was hard not to get swept up in Schampoo's aggressively positive enthusiasm.
"Well, then I suppose we'll need to figure out how to treat that fluff right, won't we?"
"Can't she just use whatever she uses for her hair?" Katie asked.
"Darling, darling no!" Schampoo shook xeir head, "Here, touch it. The fur on the tail feels completely different from the hair on her head. You can't go and do the same thing for both of them and expect similar results."
Xey paused, running xeir hand through my tail once more, before leaving to the storage-room of the shop.
After a few rummaging-noises - mostly the sounds of boxes being moved and drawers being sifted through, the very enthusiastic hairdresser returned, holding products xey evidently thought would work well with my tail.
Wait, were xey going to... "Schampoo, you know you don't need to do my tail, like you're a hairdresser and all that."
The chair I sat on was unceremoniously spun around so I was facing xem.
"Bitch please, how many hairdressers can say they worked on a real-life superhero's tail? I know I don't have to do this, but I want to. Besides, it would be a disservice not to treat you like the queen you are, so sit still and let me work my magic."
I didn't know how to feel about that. Being called a superhero felt awkward, like...
"I..."
"Girl, I said hold still. That includes shutting up. Zip it and trust the process!"
Xey spun me around once more and in the mirror, I saw them turn to face my nibling.
"Now Katie, darling, you don't want your hair done today?"
Katie, probably a bit traumatised by the aggressive enthusiasm, shook their head.
"That's perfectly okay. In that case I'm going to do your aunt's hair and tail, and explain every step of the process. And then, you can follow that at home whenever you feel comfortable with it. Your hair is beautiful and deserves to be treated well!"
Schampoo motioned for me to relax and lean back, so I did, not wanting to find out if xey still had the foam-bat.
"Right, so I'm going to be a bit extra careful, because I don't want to get water into those fluffy ears, but when you're showering, you can just let the water run over you, as long as your hair is getting wet, that's all that matters.
"Next, I'm going to go ahead and take some shampoo, like this here, just a little bit, not a lot. This tiny amount here is enough. It doesn't look like much, but it will be enough, you just need to put it between your hands and rub them together in a circular motion, like so. The shampoo only goes on the skin under the hair, not into the actual hair. That's important, because if you put shampoo into your hair, it will dry it out and that's not good for your hair. Especially for long hair, because the further away from the head the hair is, the longer the protective oil your body makes for your hair will have to travel. And you want that on your hair. Like your hair shouldn't be greasy, but it should have that healthy layer of oil around it to keep it from drying out.
"After we've massaged the shampoo into the scalp, we rinse it out thoroughly and then, this is where you'd normally put a hair-mask, if you are applying one. I'm not going to do that today, because it would take too long, but when you apply it, which should be at most once a month, you want to spread it through your hair nice and good and then wait *at least* 20 minutes for it to start working. The hair-mask will actually go repair your hair, somewhat. It can't do miracles, but it does do a lot to help with damaged hair.
"Now after that, we rinse out the hair mask, which again, I didn't use it today, but if you do, rinse it out properly, and then we do the most crucial step. Conditioner. It's really simple: You take your conditioner, you spread it on your head, and then you take a brush, and gently, but firmly, brush it through your hair. The conditioner is important, because while the hair-mask actually gets into your hair to help repair structural damage, the conditioner acts as a seal, to keep it in. It also makes your hair much nicer, smoother, silkier and softer. And contrary to popular belief, you do not need to let the conditioner sink in for long, three to five minutes are generally enough.
After that, we again, rinse it out thoroughly and then we take a towel and lightly pad the hair dry, just so that it stops dripping. Now I'm going to use a blow-drier, but those are bad for your hair and you shouldn't use them too often, but I sorta have to because, well, weather. Also important: If you want your hair to be wavy or curly, you'll need to sort of crumple it up, like this, as it's drying, because hair always wants to lie the way it dried. So whatever shape your hair has while drying, that's what it will want to look like once it's dry.
"You got all that?"
I had a feeling I would have to walk Katie through this process a few times at home...