The mountain road was rugged, and Skirk sighed.
As she struggled to trek with this new body, warm, flickering firelight faintly emerged from the corner of the mountain path ahead, accompanied by some…
strange, rhythmic humming sounds.
“Ya?”
“Mosi mita?”
“Dada!”
Skirk’s heart skipped a beat, and a sense of foreboding welled up.
She cautiously poked half of her head out to look toward the firelight—Good heavens!
A typical Hilichurl camp!
Several torches were stuck in the ground, with a campfire Burning in the center.
A few Hilichurls were jumping around the fire, and several others were dozing off while holding wooden shields.
There was even a crude watchtower on the edge of the camp!
What made her hair stand on end even more was that a patrolling Hilichurl Berserker holding a wooden club happened to wander in her direction, and its dull, masked face instantly locked eyes with her head poking out!
The air froze for a tenth of a second.
“Olah?!”
The Hilichurl Berserker let out a puzzled inquiry, then saw Skirk’s face, which appeared exceptionally fair and delicate under the firelight, looking completely out of place with the surrounding environment.
“Uh…
Bonjour?
Hello?
Konnichiwa?
Ohayou?
Have you eaten?”
Before Skirk could finish rattling off everything she had learned in her life, the Hilichurl Berserker’s simple brain instantly sounded the alarm!
“Mita movo lata!
(There’s something strange!)”
It brandished its wooden club and let out a shrill alarm!
“Whoa!
I’ve been discovered!”
Skirk was terrified out of her wits and turned to run.
But in her panic, her left foot tripped over her right, and she was about to fall face-first into the dirt!
[Host!
Go for it!
Show off your newly acquired power!
Spray them with water!]
The system egged her on, not minding the chaos.
“Spray your head!
That’s a water ball!
Not a water gun!”
Skirk screamed internally, but her survival instinct overpowered everything else.
Seeing the Hilichurl Berserker charging over while howling, she squeezed her eyes shut in terror, pushed her hands forward frantically, and mobilized the faint, icy power within her—
“Pfft—splash—!!!”
It didn’t condense into a water ball.
A stream…
well, rather than a water column, it was more like a water flow with decent pressure from a showerhead, shooting out fiercely from her palms!
It precisely…
drenched the Hilichurl Berserker charging in front from head to face!
The imagined intense pain did not come.
Skirk opened one eye tremblingly.
She saw that the Hilichurl Berserker had been soaked through and was stunned in place.
It shook its wet head and fur, sending water droplets flying everywhere.
Then, instead of angrily pouncing on her, it…
extended its claws, touched its own wet arms and chest, and let out a sigh full of philosophy and comfort:
“Ah…
Celi upa!
(Ah…
so cool!)”
Skirk: “???”
The other Hilichurls in the camp who had been disturbed also gathered around, curiously watching this “strange creature” that had suddenly appeared and could spray water.
The Hilichurl Berserker that had been sprayed suddenly pointed at Skirk and gestured excitedly to a Geo Hilichurl Shaman who looked like a minor leader:
“Gusha!
Upa celi lata!
Mosi dada!
(Water!
Cool water!
Great!)”
The Hilichurl Shaman tilted its masked head, looking Skirk up and down with its murky little eyes, seemingly evaluating something.
A few seconds later, it nodded and uttered a short syllable:
“Nye!
(Come here!)”
Several Hilichurls immediately surrounded her, and with many hands…
It wasn’t an attack, but rather they pushed and shoved a bewildered, shivering Skirk, half-inviting and half-carrying her into the center of the camp!
Alarm bells rang in Skirk’s mind, and countless terrible plots from doujinshi surged in her brain:
“It’s over, it’s over!
Are they going to stage that kind of 18+ plot?
Don’t do that kind of thing!
System, help!
Where is the promised main storyline?
Is this starting at hell difficulty?!”
She was brought to the campfire.
The Hilichurl Shaman pointed at her, then pointed at the circle of Hilichurls around them who looked sweaty and dirty from the previous jumping and the campfire, and issued a clear instruction:
“Upa celi!
Yeye!
(Get water!
Everyone!)”
Why are you calling me grandpa?
You’re way too emotional!
Then, in Skirk’s dazed gaze, the Hilichurl Berserker brought over a relatively flat large rock and signaled for her to stand on it.
Another Hilichurl handed over an…
empty wooden bucket?
Skirk: “…”
She seemed to understand a little.
Under the expectant (?) gazes of the Hilichurls, Skirk stood on the rock, like a poor wretch being roasted over a fire.
She tremblingly raised her hand, looking at the group of Hilichurls below who were staring eagerly.
“I…
who am I?
Where am I?
What am I doing?”
She complained frantically in her mind.
“I, a dignified Skirk (fake), successor of the Abyssal Power (Hydro element version), future master of bonding (if I don’t get hacked to death)…
am now standing on a rock acting as a human showerhead for a group of Hilichurls?!”
[Pfft hahaha, why do you add patches after every identity?]
[Host, in a sense, you have successfully ‘integrated into the grassroots life of Teyvat’?
Quick, show your value!
Chief technician of the Hilichurl five-star bath center!
( ಡ ω ಡ )]
“Shut up, you unscrupulous system!”
Skirk was on the verge of tears.
But looking at the wooden clubs the Hilichurls were waving (though they didn’t look malicious, they were very intimidating), she yielded.
“Fine…
fine!
Wash it is!
I’ll just treat it as practicing Hydro element control!”
She thought self-abandonedly.
Thus, in an unknown mountain hollow on the outskirts of Mondstadt, in the cool air of the early morning, an extremely absurd yet harmonious (?) scene appeared:
The silver-haired, purple-eyed girl with a cold temperament stood on the rock, feeling dead inside, waving her hands alternately, spraying streams of water—sometimes thick, sometimes thin, sometimes fast, sometimes slow—from her palms.
It sounds quite aesthetic, right?
But imagine her movements looking like she’s performing a shamanic dance; is it still beautiful?
Below, surrounded by a circle of Hilichurls, some tilted their heads to enjoy the cool rinse, making comfortable “Ya~”, “Dada~” sounds;
Some were scrubbing each other (the scene is too beautiful to look at);
Some were even using wooden shields to catch water, trying to make themselves a simple shower stall…
The whole camp was suddenly filled with a cheerful atmosphere.
Is this for real, bro?
A Northeast-style public bathhouse?
Skirk felt like a ruthless water-spraying machine, her heart full of doubt about life and kind greetings to the system’s ancestors for eighteen generations.
Just as Skirk was mechanically spraying water, pondering the philosophical question of “Is the Abyssal Power really just for bathing monsters?”, and praying for dawn to come quickly to end this farce—
“Whoosh—!”
A sharp sound of something breaking through the air pierced the silence of dawn!
Immediately after, “Boom!” an explosion sounded!
An elemental arrow Burning with scorching flames shot precisely onto the watchtower at the edge of the camp like a meteor!
The wooden tower was instantly ignited, and the roaring flames soared into the sky, illuminating the sky that was about to break into dawn!
“Ya?!”
A classic panicked cry of being attacked; Skirk remembered having mimicked it once, which was truly embarrassing.
“Muhe mita?!
(Is it on fire?!)”
“Lata movo!
(Enemy!)”
The Hilichurls who were originally enjoying the “shower” instantly went into a frenzy!
They let out panicked cries, ignoring the “chief technician” who was still spraying water, and scrambled to grab the wooden clubs and shields around them, looking toward the direction where the arrow came from as if facing a great enemy!
Skirk was also stunned by this sudden turn of events, forgetting to shut off the water flow, standing foolishly on the rock, watching the Burning watchtower and a nimble figure wearing a rabbit-ear headpiece, vaguely visible in the woods outside the camp, quickly shuttling and approaching!
[Ding!
Key character intervention detected!
‘Main storyline related event’ triggered!
Task completed!
Rewards are being distributed!]
The system’s notification sound rang out in time, with a hint of excitement.
[Host!
Look!
Your savior (or new trouble?) has arrived!
It’s Mondstadt’s gliding champion, Outrider—Amber!
Are you ready to start your performance?
( ✧ ω ✧ )]
Skirk: “…” Performance?
Performance of what?
Performance of a showerhead?
A classic Tom and Jerry segment.
She looked at the chaotic Hilichurls below, then looked at the increasingly close, vibrant red figure in the woods, feeling that her Teyvat life was becoming more and more “exciting”…