As time passed and she grew older, many childhood memories had started to fade.
But Lin Qingle found it strange that she could still remember every single detail about Xu Tingbai—even every word he’d ever said to her.
When she was young, because of her family situation, she was quiet and withdrawn, always staying in the corner. A lot of boys used to make fun of her, mocking her because of her father, finding new ways to bully her.
One day, she was cornered on the playground again, and it was Xu Tingbai who found her and chased off the bullies.
But even then, her tears kept falling in silence. Despite being so young, he had a mature air about him. He helped wipe her tears away and said lots of kind things to comfort her.
When she finally stopped crying, she asked him, puzzled, why everyone disliked her, but he still wanted to help her.
He’d told her that they were deskmates and friends, so of course, he would help her.
And from then on, she remembered that Xu Tingbai was her friend, and a really good person.
“A friend? Stop talking nonsense.”
But… the grown-up Xu Tingbai no longer acknowledged that.
“But you said…”
The expression on his face darkened even further.
Lin Qingle lowered her gaze and continued, “No matter what you say now, I remember. After I transferred schools, I tried calling you using the number you gave me, but it wouldn’t connect. I thought maybe you wrote down the wrong number… I only found out now that your family had troubles back then. So all these years…”
“Are you done talking?” Xu Tingbai interrupted her. “You can leave now.”
“But I—”
“Stop following me!” His brow furrowed in irritation, clearly running out of patience.
Without his permission, Lin Qingle didn’t dare continue. She stood still, watching the boy’s slender figure get smaller and smaller as he disappeared around a corner in the alley.
Eventually, she returned to the rice noodle stall.
The noodle vendor saw her coming back, still holding the untouched bag of noodles, and wasn’t surprised at all.
“Miss, just sit here and eat.”
Lin Qingle murmured an “okay” and sat down at the little table.
Seeing her looking down in silence, the vendor seemed to guess she’d been turned away by Xu Tingbai and comforted her, “Young lady, that boy has a strange personality and speaks harshly. Don’t take it to heart.”
The noodle vendor remembered seeing other girls come by before, with good intentions, bringing money or food for him. One girl even left crying with her money in hand, and another left in a huff. Every one of them ended up leaving with a dark expression.
Now, this young girl looked delicate and soft-hearted, and he doubted she’d withstand Xu Tingbai’s cold demeanor any better.
Seeing Lin Qingle still silent, the noodle vendor thought about offering more words of comfort. But just as he was about to speak, the girl looked up at him with clear, untroubled eyes, showing no trace of hurt from being scolded.
“He’s not strange at all; he’s actually very nice.”
“Huh?”
Lin Qingle put down her chopsticks and asked, “Uncle, could you tell me when he usually leaves the house?”
“Why…?”
Lin Qingle looked down at her now-cooling noodles and said earnestly, “I’d like to try again next time—to see if he’d let me come over to his place for noodles.”
Lin Qingle’s visit today wasn’t for nothing. From the noodle vendor, she learned a few things about Xu Tingbai that even her friends Jiang Shuyi and the others didn’t know.
The noodle vendor told her that, when Xu Tingbai’s family first moved here, he wouldn’t leave the house at all. It wasn’t until the end of last year that his father enrolled him in a nearby school for people with special needs.
The vendor didn’t know how Xu Tingbai’s father convinced him to go to a school for the visually impaired, but he thought he could guess his father’s intentions. The school received government funding and didn’t charge any fees, meaning it provided free supervision—a good deal for Xu Tingbai’s father.
Once Xu Tingbai agreed to attend school, his father was rarely home, though where he went was anyone’s guess. In this neighborhood, people had their own troubles, and no one had the time to worry about others.
As for his mother, she was reportedly still in prison due to issues with her former company.
Besides these details, the noodle vendor also told her what she most wanted to know—the school’s schedule. The special education school had an unusual setup, with classes only four days a week and breaks on Sundays, Mondays, and Tuesdays.
This was great news for Lin Qingle because she was free on Saturdays, meaning she could “bump into” him after his classes.
Lin Qingle was determined to understand what had happened to him and wanted to be close to him and help him, just as he’d once done for her.
For over a month, she made it a point to arrive at the noodle stall each Saturday to wait for him after school.
But Xu Tingbai continued to ignore her, and whenever she tried to speak up, he would sometimes get angry. So asking to go to his place for dinner was out of the question.
However, Lin Qingle didn’t mind at all. She knew how he used to be and felt she could understand him.
He wasn’t angry or harsh on purpose. She knew that he’d simply been hurt by the world.
Xu Tingbai, who could no longer see, must need companionship—just as she had once hidden in the corner but secretly longed for someone to play with her.
Another Saturday came.
That afternoon, Lin Qingle went to the library, and by five o’clock, she had packed her bag and arrived at Yueqian Road right on time.
Today, the noodle vendor wasn’t there. She waited at the corner and soon saw Xu Tingbai approaching. The vendor must have told him, as he didn’t stop today and went straight into the alley.
“I was doing homework at the library today, and they had the air conditioning on really high. My hands are freezing,” she said, feeling bolder after several weeks of these “chance encounters” and opening with a longer sentence than usual.
Xu Tingbai hesitated. “I told you, you—”
“Don’t worry, I didn’t plan to ask to go to your house for noodles today!” Lin Qingle quickly replied, “Uncle Yang didn’t set up shop today, so I didn’t buy anything.”
His words caught in his throat, and he clenched his jaw.
Lin Qingle, watching his expression, added, “I won’t follow you home, I promise. If you haven’t agreed, I won’t go. I’ll just walk with you for a bit and hold onto this cake for you.”
Lately, she’d been appearing around this time every week, talking to him about random things. Xu Tingbai had gone from being irritated to resigned.
He no longer wanted to see anyone from his past, finding that human warmth quickly faded and indifference surfaced.
He’d had enough of the drastic changes brought by fate.
Bound in endless darkness, he no longer hoped for anyone to save him.
He let out a cold laugh. “Help me? With what cake?”
Lin Qingle held up the cake she’d bought near the library, one she’d saved three weeks of breakfast money for.
“I bought it for you just now. For you!”
Xu Tingbai’s lips tightened. “Not interested.”
“It’s your favorite flavor—vanilla.” Lin Qingle opened the box a bit, bringing the cake closer to him.
The rich vanilla scent mingled with the smoothness of the cream, impossible to ignore.
“You used to bring this from home for me and said it was your favorite. It’s my favorite now, too.”
Even though he couldn’t see, he could sense that the girl in front of him was smiling as she spoke.
Memory forced him to recall her smile; he remembered this girl, Lin Qingle, and her small frame and the way her eyes curved when she smiled.
But he rejected these memories.
“So… has your taste changed?”
And he didn’t want her getting close to him.
“Xu Tingbai?”
He really didn’t want…
“You don’t like it?”
“No, I don’t!” Xu Tingbai suddenly raised his hand and swiped at her.
His hand struck her wrist, knocking the cake box out of her hands. It landed on the ground with a dull thud.
Lin Qingle froze, staring at the overturned box on the ground.
“Lin Qingle, do you think you’re bringing comfort to a disabled person right now?” Xu Tingbai’s face twisted with anger as he mocked her viciously, “Stop feeling self-righteous. I don’t need you coming here, and we’re not even that close! Who are you trying to impress with this act of kindness?”
“I’m doing it for you,” Lin Qingle replied softly.
Xu Tingbai paused.
Lin Qingle withdrew her hand, feeling a slight tingling in her wrist. She looked up at him and suddenly asked, “Xu Tingbai, are you copying me?”
“…What?”
“I once threw away the cake you gave me too,” Lin Qingle said, a little hurt. “Are you getting back at me?”
Back in elementary school, after she transferred to this new school, Xu Tingbai was the class monitor, and the teacher assigned him to sit with her, the new student.
Because of what her father had done, no one wanted to play with her, and everyone laughed at her—except him. He was the only one who brought her a cake from home.
But back then, prickly and sensitive as she was, she assumed he was mocking her for not being able to afford sweets or teasing her on purpose. So, when he handed it to her, she angrily pushed the little cake away, knocking it onto the floor between their desks.
Afterward, Xu Tingbai quietly cleaned up the mess himself.
He didn’t even get mad. Before class, he even asked if it was because she didn’t like the vanilla flavor…
Xu Tingbai seemed to recall that moment from the past too, his angry expression frozen, his throat constricting.
“Then let’s just say you were getting back at me,” Lin Qingle laughed softly. “A wrong for a wrong—now we’re even. As for the cake, since you don’t like it, I won’t buy it again.”
“…”
“But you were wrong—I’m not pretending to be kind, nor am I performing charity for you,” Lin Qingle said, hesitating for a moment before lowering her voice. “I just wanted to see you. Since I came back, I’ve met some classmates and made a few friends, but I feel… I still like you the most.”
Lin Qingle left.
Xu Tingbai didn’t know what her expression was as she walked away, but her words lingered in the air, mingling with the faint scent of vanilla, pressing down on him.
She liked him the most?
Could anyone still like him the most…
Ridiculous…
“Xiao Bai, why are you just standing here? What’s the matter?” He wasn’t sure how long he’d been standing there when he heard the voice of Jiang Grandma, who lived downstairs.
He snapped out of it, recognizing her voice. “It’s nothing.” He shook his head and started walking forward.
“Wait, what’s this? A cake? Xiao Bai, is this yours?”
The scent of vanilla grew stronger as Jiang Grandma picked up the box and handed it to him.
Xu Tingbai stopped. “No, it’s not mine.”
“Oh? Then whose is it? Looks like it could still be edible, even if it got a bit messed up.”
His empty gaze lingered in her direction, and maybe he’d been influenced by that girl, because suddenly, he saw himself in his memories—back when he used to bring cake to school.
He gripped his cane tightly, almost suffocated by the memory of himself in that moment. “Throw it away, Grandma Jiang… the cake’s ruined.”
“Oh, is it…”