The cool night air hit Vivian’s face the second she pushed through the glass exit doors of the D-Class residential hall.
The campus courtyard was empty. She barely walked across the walkway before she heard the familiar voice.
"Vivian!"
She stopped walking.
Jeffrey was leaning against one of the pillars across the courtyard, his arms folded over his chest.
He looked like he had been standing there waiting for a while. His dark hair was slightly messy from running his hands through it, and the second his eyes landed on her, he smiled softly.
The sight of him still hurt. It was an ache she couldn’t shake off.
Jeffrey pushed away from the pillar and walked directly toward her. "Red."
She ignored him, and kept walking.
"Vivian, wait."
"I don’t have anything to say to you."
She heard the hurried sound of his footsteps catching up behind her.
"Then tell me why you’ve been ignoring me."
"I’ve been busy."
"Busy enough to ignore every single message I’ve sent you?"
"Yes."
He caught up with her, grabbing her wrist.
"Let go."
He held on for another second, desperate for her to stop walking away. "Not until you tell me what’s going on."
She slowly turned her head, looking nonchalant as she glanced down at his hand. "Jeffrey."
Something in her voice, this detachment that he had never heard from her before made him instantly release her wrist. He took a step sideways, blocking her path and standing right in front of her.
"Why are you acting like you hate me?" Jeffrey asked, desperately. "Just tell me what I did wrong."
Vivian stared at him. Her chest felt so tight. That is the problem. He doesn’t know. He has no idea.
Jeffrey’s brows pulled together as he studied her face.
But no words came out. She kept her lips pressed together.
Jeffrey stared at her in disbelief. "Who are you?"
Vivian blinked. "What?"
"Who are you?" he repeated. "The Vivian I knew would never look at me like this. You won’t talk to me. You won’t even let me near you. What happened to you?"
You want to know what happened to me? I died.
She tried to say it out, but she forced herself to swallow it down.
She had lived five years in a nightmare without him. And through all of that misery, there had been one thought she held on to.
Jeffrey will come.
She had waited for him. God, she had waited like a fool. There were nights when she had curled up inside freezing, abandoned buildings, staring into the dark and imagining him finding her. She had imagined hearing his voice outside the shelter, yelling, "Vivian! I’m here! I found you. You’re safe now."
She had imagined running into his arms, burying her face in his chest, believing he would protect her.
And now he was standing right in front of her.
Jeffrey noticed the tears in her eyes, his eyes softened instantly.
"Viv..." he murmured softly.
Her lips trembled. She hated herself that one look at him could still make her feel like the naive, fragile nineteen-year-old girl who had loved him before the world ended.
Jeffrey slowly dropped his hands. "Hey."
Vivian looked away. "Don’t."
He stepped closer, closing the distance between them. Vivian didn’t move. Jeffrey lifted his hand slowly, hesitating for a second as if he was afraid she might pull away.
His fingers brushed a loose strand of her hair away from her face. The touch was gentle, exactly like it used to be.
He stared down at her face, lightly brushing his thumb against the damp skin beneath her eye. "You’re crying."
"I’m not," she snapped, as she tried to pull her head back.
Jeffrey’s hand lingered near her cheek. "I didn’t mean to make you cry, Viv."
The softness in his voice nearly destroyed her. After everything, one gentle sentence from his mouth could still make her chest ache.
She wanted to step closer. She wanted to grab his collar, bury her face against his chest, and cry until the five years of the apocalypse disappeared.
Most painfully of all, she wanted to forgive him. Not because he deserved it. Because she missed him so much. She missed the boy he had been before he awakened. She missed the one person she had trusted with her soul. The boy that was always there for her.
Jeffrey seemed to sense the sudden vulnerability in her expression. This time, when he moved closer, she didn’t push him away.
His arms came around her carefully, wrapping her into hug. He didn’t squeeze her or force her. He just held her gently, giving her room to breathe, letting her decide whether she wanted him there.
She could feel the warmth of his body through her jacket.
Vivian’s eyes closed against her will. His familiar scent, his hard chest on her cheek. She almost hugged him back. Her fingers even lifted slightly, ready to reach out.
Then, a memory flashed behind her eyelids.
Aurora. Her own screams when the zombies tore her apart.
Vivian’s eyes snapped open, turning completely cold. She slammed both of her hands against his chest, shoving him away.
"Don’t touch me!"
Jeffrey was caught off guard as he stumbled back.
Vivian quickly wiped the tear from her cheek with the back of her sleeve before he could see another one fall. Her breathing was uneven, her chest heaving.
"I..." She stammered. "I don’t want your pity."
"I wasn’t pitying you, Viv," Jeffrey said, looking frustrated.
"Then what the hell were you doing?"
"I was trying to comfort you."
"I don’t need your comfort. I don’t need anything from you."
"You’re acting like I did something terrible to you."
Vivian’s expression hardened. "You should have been worried a year ago."
"I didn’t know you needed me that badly." Jeffrey exhaled slowly, rubbing the back of his neck in frustration. "Fine. I’m sorry."
Vivian looked back at him. "You’ve already apologized several times today, Jeffrey. You think saying sorry fixes everything?"
"No."
"Then stop saying it like it does."
He let out a breath. "I don’t know what else you want me to say to you."
Vivian stared at him, unable to answer. A bitter thought settled in her chest.
If Jeffrey had never awakened, would things have been different?
Would he have stayed? Would he have protected her when the world fell apart? Would he have found her before everything was taken from her?
She would never have ended up with Julian. She would never have trusted him. And maybe Aurora would still be alive.
Her chest tightened at the thought.
For years, Vivian had blamed the apocalypse for everything she had lost.
But the apocalypse was never the only problem.
It was the people.
Jeffrey had made his choice.
So had Julian.
And her father had made his choice the moment he brought another woman into their home and allowed Vivian to become a stranger in the place she was supposed to call home.
They had all made their choices.