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hazbin hotel: Tanya the Overlord

Chapter 9 / 120

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Chapter 9 of 120

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Chapter 9: — Bad Idea

hazbin hotel: Tanya the Overlord

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One of the advantages of having spent several decades building a sufficiently unpleasant reputation was that most of Hell’s inhabitants eventually came to understand one basic rule: my convoys were not traveling loot boxes.

That didn’t mean no one ever tried their luck.

Pentagram City had an impressive number of criminals capable of looking at an armed escort, realizing it belonged to an Overlord, and still reaching the conclusion that robbery remained an excellent idea.Full novel: hazbin hotel: Tanya the Overlord — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠

Usually, a few deaths were enough to remind the neighboring groups of that reality, and we would regain several months, sometimes several years, of peace.

Since the announcement that the Extermination had been moved forward, however, that peace was clearly beginning to crack.

I realized it when my lieutenant entered my office shortly after nine in the morning with that particular way of walking I had learned to associate with reports that were going to piss me off.

I finished the line I was reading before looking up.

“What happened?”

He stopped in front of my desk.

“Convoy Twenty-Seven was attacked last night on its return trip from Pentagram City.”

My pen froze.

“Casualties?”

“Six soldiers destroyed.

Three others damaged.

The driver and two civilian employees survived.”

My expression immediately hardened.

The destruction of my soldiers wasn’t comparable to the permanent death of a sinner.

My creations could be replaced, even if doing so required energy and time.

That didn’t mean I appreciated having them destroyed, especially when they were simply doing their jobs.

“The cargo?”

“Almost entirely stolen.”

I set down my pen.

“Almost?”

The lieutenant pulled a piece of paper from his coat and placed it in front of me.

I looked at it without touching it.

“What is this?”

“The attackers gave it to the driver before allowing him to leave.

He was specifically instructed to deliver it to you.”

Now that was different.

I picked up the paper and found that only a few words had been scrawled across it in crude handwriting.

If the little general wants her shit back, she knows where to come.

An address followed the message.

My lieutenant was still waiting in front of me.

“Little general,” I finally repeated.

“Yes, Commander.”

I slowly leaned back in my chair.

I wasn’t even genuinely offended by the nickname.

After spending two lives in a body whose height seemed specifically designed to personally attack my self-esteem, it took more than a reference to my stature to upset me.

On the other hand, someone had just stolen a shipment, attacked my men, and deliberately left an address inviting me to come retrieve it.

That required a fairly remarkable level of self-confidence.

Or severe intellectual deficiency.

Unfortunately, the two were not mutually exclusive.

“How long have attacks against our convoys been increasing?”

“Minor incidents began eleven days after the announcement of the new Extermination date.

Until now, no group had directly claimed responsibility for an attack against us.”

“And this one decided I needed to know their address.”

“That is correct.”

I looked at the piece of paper again.

It didn’t take a tactical genius to understand what was waiting for me there.

If those responsible only wanted to negotiate, they would have sent an intermediary.

If they only wanted to steal the cargo, they wouldn’t have left an address.

They wanted me to come?

Fine.

I stood.

“Prepare a squad and a vehicle.”

The lieutenant didn’t move immediately.

“You intend to go personally?”

I walked around my desk.

“They went to the trouble of inviting me.

It would be rude not to show up.”

“It is probably an ambush.”

I stopped in front of him and looked up at his eyeless face.

“Lieutenant, they attacked a convoy belonging to me, deliberately left survivors, wrote a message addressed specifically to me, and gave the exact location where they want me to arrive.

If this isn’t an ambush, I’ll be deeply disappointed by their lack of organization.”

His sharp-toothed mouth didn’t move.

I lightly patted his arm as I walked past him.

“So we’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they aren’t complete fucking idiots.”

“How many soldiers do you want?”

“Twelve.

I’m not moving an entire company for a few thieves.

Have a recovery team prepared as well.

They’ll remain at a distance until the area is secure.”

“Understood.”

He was about to leave when my gaze dropped to the weapon at his side.

“Take your angelic blade.”

He briefly rested a hand on the scabbard.

“It is already on me.”

I smiled.

“That’s why I like you.”

He tilted his head slightly.

“Should I consider that a raise?”

I stared at him.

He remained perfectly still.

“You really have developed a sense of humor.”

“I don’t understand what you mean, Commander.”

“Get the fuck out of my office and prepare the vehicle.”

He left the room.

I shook my head before heading toward my quarters to change jackets.

I had never considered my magical abilities a sufficient reason to abandon physical weapons.

Being able to materialize a rifle, pistol, or machine gun from my own magic was extremely convenient.

It eliminated much of the difficulty involved in transporting equipment and allowed me to adapt my weaponry to the situation.

But Hell had its own rules.

And some of those rules made carrying a few hundred extra grams of metal worthwhile.

I opened the small safe built into one of the wardrobes in my bedroom.

Inside rested a handgun.

It wasn’t particularly extravagant.

I had specifically refused unnecessary decorations when I commissioned it from Carmilla Carmine.

The grip had been fitted to my hand, the mechanism reinforced, and the entire weapon designed to withstand regular use without sacrificing accuracy.

A few discreet engravings ran along the slide, but nothing that turned the weapon into a collector’s piece.

Its true value lay in the metal used for its ammunition and certain essential components of its construction.

Angelic steel.

A properly placed bullet from this weapon wouldn’t merely incapacitate a sinner until their body regenerated.

It would end their existence.

Permanently.

Carmilla had built a considerable portion of her fortune on that particular property, and I had learned long ago that an Overlord who could afford her products had every reason to keep one within reach.

I checked the magazine, engaged the safety, and placed the weapon in its holster.

I had no particular intention of using it today.

Then again, I hadn’t planned on having one of my convoys attacked either.

A few minutes later, I reached the courtyard.

The lieutenant was waiting beside an armored vehicle with twelve soldiers.

Their anthracite coats and steel helmets were identical, as were their shadowy faces, where only mouths filled with pointed teeth were visible.

As I approached, they snapped to attention.

“At ease.”

They immediately resumed their positions, and I climbed into the vehicle.

“Let’s go meet our new friends.”

The journey to Pentagram City took several hours.

The closer we got to the capital, the more visible the consequences of Adam’s announcement became.

Private convoys traveled the roads with larger escorts than usual.

Some warehouses on the outskirts were already displaying new defensive measures, while several businesses specializing in weapons or security systems had clearly decided to take advantage of the general fear to raise their prices.

I watched the landscape pass from my seat.

“They didn’t waste any time.”

Sitting across from me, the lieutenant turned his head slightly toward the window.

“Several of our suppliers have also requested renegotiations of their delivery deadlines.”

“I saw the requests.

They can dream.”

“Some are citing exceptional circumstances.”

“Exceptional circumstances do not prevent people from reading a contract before signing it.”

He didn’t answer and turned his head back toward the window.

I continued observing the outskirts.

Six months.

Adam had probably announced that decision without spending a single second thinking about the economic consequences it would cause down here.

To him, perhaps it was merely a matter of moving up the date of his next hunting trip.

To Hell, it meant millions of people had just lost half their preparation time.

And the scavengers had already begun to smell blood.

We eventually reached the area where the convoy had been attacked.

I stepped out of the vehicle with my lieutenant while the soldiers immediately established a perimeter.

The signs of battle were still visible.

A gutted truck occupied part of the road.

Several impact marks covered the surrounding walls, and a wide blackened area showed that an explosive had been used close enough to partially overturn the vehicle.

I crouched beside one of the impacts.

“They had heavy equipment.”

The lieutenant moved beside me.

“The driver reported at least two rocket launchers.”

“To attack a commercial convoy.”

I stood.

“Subtle.”

I closed my eyes and allowed my magical perception to gradually spread around me.

Demons left traces.

Some disappeared quickly, others lingered depending on the amount of power used and the nature of whoever had wielded it.

Here, several signatures were still fresh enough to follow.

The problem was that they were far too easy to follow.

I opened my eyes.

“They left a trail.”

“Deliberately?”

“Unless every one of these idiots naturally possesses the subtlety of a refinery fire, yes.”

The lieutenant looked toward the street the traces were leading into.

“The address provided is in the same direction.”

“Naturally.”

I gestured toward two soldiers.

“Take four men and go around from the west.

Stay out of sight and do not fire until my signal.”

They immediately left.

Then I pointed toward two others.

“You two, with the lieutenant.

Take the buildings on the eastern side.

I want to know what’s waiting for us before we walk into their fucking trap.”

The lieutenant inclined his head.

“And you?”

“I’m going to give them exactly what they asked for.”

He remained silent.

“Apparently,” I added.

“Understood.”

He moved away with his men, and I smiled slightly.

My lieutenant was really starting to know me well.

The industrial district the traces led me into had probably been active several decades ago.

Now, the abandoned factories and gutted warehouses mostly served as shelters for gangs too poor to own more valuable territory.

Metal walkways still connected some of the buildings, and old smokestacks formed black silhouettes against the red sky.

The place was perfect for an ambush.

I walked alone down the middle of the main street.

At least, that was what the people watching me were supposed to believe.

My magical detection had already identified several presences in the surrounding buildings.

Some were on the rooftops, others behind boarded-up windows, and several more waited in the adjacent streets.

There were a lot of them.

Far more than expected.

I counted approximately fifty signatures, but I kept walking.

A voice echoed from a loudspeaker installed somewhere nearby.

“So the little general really came!”

I looked up without slowing down.

“You left an address.

I would have found it rude to keep you waiting.”

Laughter erupted around me.

The voice continued.

“Thought you’d bring your army.”

“For you?”

I stopped in the middle of the street.

“I didn’t want to give you false hopes about your importance.”

The laughter stopped almost immediately.

There.

Petty, perhaps.

But extremely satisfying.

“Big mouth for a little girl.”

I sighed.

“If you organized all of this just to discuss my height, I’m going to start regretting the trip.

Return my cargo, reimburse the damages, and we can skip directly to the part where you try to explain why attacking my men was a brilliant idea.”

A figure appeared on a walkway.

A massive demon, nearly three times broader than I was, wearing a coat covered in chains and metal plates.

Several other sinners gradually emerged from the buildings.

“Everyone talks about you like you’re some fucking legend,” he said.

“The little general hiding in her castle with her faceless soldiers.”

I looked around.

“And your logical conclusion was to steal my merchandise to check?”

“Things are changing.

Six months from now, the angels come back down.

Everyone’s starting to panic, and the old bosses still think they control the city.

There’s gonna be room for people with the balls to take it.”

Ah.

So that was the reasoning.

Frankly, I was almost beginning to feel disappointed.

“And you think attacking me will earn you that place.”

He smiled.

“When people hear I made you bend, they’ll know who’s in charge around here.”

I stared at him for several seconds.

Then I laughed.

Not for very long.

Just enough to piss him off.

“Something funny?”

“Yes.

You.”

His smile vanished.

I felt several magical signatures moving.

My men were in position.

Perfect.

“You made a rather interesting mistake,” I continued.

“You correctly understood that the announcement of the Extermination would cause a redistribution of power.

You also understood that a spectacular demonstration could quickly build your reputation.

Up to that point, your reasoning wasn’t completely stupid.”

I calmly placed one hand behind my back.

“Your mistake was choosing your demonstration without checking whether you were capable of succeeding.”

The first shot came from a rooftop.

My barrier appeared before the bullet could reach me.

The impact sent a burst of red sparks across my face.

Then all hell broke loose.

Dozens of shots struck the barrier simultaneously as I dove to the side.

A rocket tore across the street and exploded where I had been standing one second earlier, throwing chunks of metal and concrete in every direction.

“Fucking hell!”

Magic concentrated in my hand, and a rifle appeared between my fingers.

I pivoted, shouldered it, and fired three times toward a window.

A silhouette collapsed behind it.

“Now!”

My soldiers opened fire.

Bursts of gunfire erupted from the buildings behind the attackers.

The four men positioned to the west emerged from a side street while the lieutenant and his group attacked the elevated positions.

The gang immediately realized that they had never successfully surrounded us.

We had simply allowed them to believe they had.

I took flight.

The ground vanished beneath my boots as another rocket passed through the space my legs had occupied a fraction of a second earlier.

I climbed to the first floor of a building, shattered a window with my barrier, and went straight into the room.

The gunman inside barely had time to turn before the stock of my rifle slammed into his jaw and sent him crashing against the wall.

I fired into his torso before continuing forward.

A second demon emerged from behind a rusted machine with a sawed-off shotgun.

I reinforced my barrier.

He fired.

The impact sent me several meters backward.

“You son of a bitch!”

I returned fire and shot him between the eyes.

The demon’s head snapped violently backward, and he collapsed.

I ran through the building before exiting through an opening overlooking the street.

Below, my soldiers were advancing methodically.

Two fired while a third changed position.

Another team flanked the attackers through an alley while the lieutenant directed fire from a walkway.

They didn’t scream.

They didn’t panic.

They simply advanced.

The contrast with the gang was almost ridiculous.

An explosion suddenly shook the building and threw me against a wall.

My barrier absorbed most of the impact, but several red cracks appeared across its surface.

I dropped to one knee.

“All right…”

I raised my head.

A demon on the opposite rooftop was reloading a rocket launcher.

“You’re really starting to piss me the fuck off.”

I launched myself into the air.

He tried his luck, raising his weapon.

Too slowly.

I flew across the street, materialized a pistol in my free hand, and fired before I even touched the rooftop.

The projectile tore through his shoulder.

The rocket launcher slipped from his hands and hit the ground heavily.

I kicked him in the stomach, sending him over the edge.

His scream disappeared several floors below.

I quickly surveyed the battle and confirmed that we were winning.

But the leader had retreated.

Several of his best fighters were falling back toward an old factory at the far end of the district, where barricades had been installed around an inner courtyard.

I immediately sensed several much stronger signatures.

“Lieutenant.”

His voice came through my communicator.

“I’m listening.”

“Situation?”

“Seven soldiers damaged.

None destroyed since the beginning of the engagement.

The enemy is retreating toward the northern building.”

I looked at the factory.

“I see them.

Do not pursue.”

A second later, a heavy machine gun opened fire from behind the barricades.

My soldiers took cover.

I could force my way through.

So could my men.

But several of them would probably be destroyed.

And why the fuck would I do that?

To prove I could storm a fortified position on foot?

I hadn’t been twenty years old for an extremely long time, and unlike certain idiots in this universe, I had never considered unnecessary casualties a demonstration of courage.

I raised one hand.

Magic concentrated around me.

And the sky changed.

A red circle appeared above the factory.

Then a second.

A third.

Six portals gradually opened among the infernal clouds, their edges coursing with dark red energy.

Behind each of them was something enormous.

The ends of six artillery barrels slowly emerged from the openings, while the rest of the guns remained entirely beyond the portals.

The enemy fire slowed.

I could almost feel their confusion.

Then their fear.

The lieutenant looked toward the sky.

“Coordinates confirmed.”

I pointed toward the fortified position.

“Evacuate our men from the impact perimeter.”

“Already underway.”

I smiled.

That was why I liked him.

The last soldiers cleared the street.

My smile widened until every one of my teeth was visible, and I let my hand fall.

“Fire.”

The world turned white.

The first salvo struck the inner courtyard with enough force to shake the surrounding buildings.

Then the second came down.

And the third.

The detonations merged into a continuous roar as the barricades, machine guns, and part of the factory’s facade vanished beneath the explosions.

The few remaining intact windows in the surrounding buildings shattered one after another.

I kept the portals open just long enough to finish off the position.

Then I closed my hand.

The cannons disappeared.

The silence that followed was almost pleasant.

A massive column of smoke now rose above the factory.

I slowly descended to the ground.

My lieutenant joined me.

His coat was covered in dust and a gash ran across his shoulder, but he appeared perfectly functional.

“Still in one piece?”

“Yes, Commander.”

“Good.

Find the leader.”

He looked toward the ruins.

“If he’s still alive.”

I stared at the smoke.

“I sincerely hope he is.

I came all this way to talk to him.”

He was alive.

Much to my satisfaction.

Two of my soldiers dragged him from the ruins nearly twenty minutes later.

He had lost part of his coat, blood ran down his face, and his confidence had disappeared somewhere between the first and third artillery salvos.

Eleven other members of the gang had also survived.

We gathered them in the courtyard of a warehouse while the recovery team arrived to reclaim the cargo.

I inspected the merchandise first.

Several crates had been opened and some were damaged, but most of the shipment was still recoverable.

“Complete a full inventory before departure,” I ordered.

“Anything missing will be added to the group’s losses.”

“Understood.”

Then I turned toward the prisoners.

They were on their knees.

My soldiers formed a semicircle around them.

The leader stood slightly apart, held upright by two soldiers, each gripping one of his arms.

I approached the other eleven.

“You attacked my men, participated in the theft of my cargo, and attempted to kill me when I came to retrieve it.

I could therefore execute you immediately and consider this matter closed.”

No one spoke.

“But replacing eleven souls with eleven corpses would be an unnecessary waste.

So I’m going to offer you something your leader lacked the intelligence to negotiate before starting this bullshit.”

I stopped in front of them.

“You surrender your souls to me.

From now on, you will work for me under the terms I present to you, and as long as you honor your contract, you will continue to exist.

If you refuse, you die here permanently.”

A demon with broken horns raised his head.

“Go fuck yourself.”

I turned my eyes toward him.

He spat on the ground.

“I ain’t selling my soul to some little bitch hiding behind her soldiers.”

Several of his companions recoiled slightly.

I didn’t answer.

I simply looked at my lieutenant.

And nodded.

He understood.

His hand dropped to his side.

The metallic sound of a blade leaving its scabbard echoed through the courtyard.

The change among the prisoners was immediate.

They recognized the metal.

The blade had a restrained, almost military design, exactly as I had requested when Carmilla made it.

No unnecessary ornamentation concealed the faint characteristic glow of angelic steel.

The sinner understood too.

“Wait, is that—”

The lieutenant struck.

The blade passed through his neck.

His head hit the ground, followed by his body a second later.

No one spoke.

I allowed several seconds to pass before turning my attention back to the ten survivors.

“I assume you understand that wasn’t a metaphor.”

The first accepted.

Then the second.

The others followed quickly.

The contracts appeared one after another, formed from my magic before materializing in front of them.

I took the time to state the principal terms, because a poorly constructed contract was an invitation to future problems, then each of them placed their mark upon it.

When the last one finished, I immediately felt the difference.

Ten new souls.

Ten new bonds.

A familiar warmth briefly flowed through my magic before fading.

Finally, I turned toward their leader.

His face had gone pale.

“Me too,” he said immediately.

“I’ll sign.”

I continued walking toward him.

“You hear me?

I’ll give you my soul.”

I stopped in front of him.

He tried to pull away, but the two soldiers tightened their grip.

“I can be useful.

I’ve got contacts all over this part of the city, warehouses, weapons, money.

It’s all yours.”

I watched him for several seconds.

Then my hand moved toward my holster.

His eyes followed the movement.

For the first time since we had met, he seemed to understand exactly whose reputation he had tried to build his own upon.

I drew my pistol.

Infernal light slid across the angelic steel.

“Wait.”

I calmly checked the chamber.

One round.

Perfect.

“I said I’ll sign!”

I raised the weapon.

The soldiers forced him to remain still.

“I know.

The problem is, I never offered you that deal.”

His eyes widened.

“Wait, fuck, I—”

I pulled the trigger.

The gunshot cracked through the courtyard.

His head snapped violently backward.

The two soldiers released him, and his body collapsed between them.

I lowered my weapon.

No particular satisfaction filled me.

I didn’t need to feel any.

He had attacked my organization to build his reputation.

If he had survived simply by surrendering his soul after losing, the lesson sent to everyone else would have been dangerously simple:

Provoking Tanya could be profitable, because failure remained negotiable.

I preferred a different lesson.

The men who followed him had been resources.

He had been an example.

I holstered my weapon.

“Lieutenant.”

“Commander.”

“Seize everything that belonged to him.

Warehouses, accounts, contacts, territories, contracts.

I want to know what’s worth keeping by tomorrow morning.”

“Understood.”

Then I looked toward the new contractees.

“And question them about the other groups that have started moving since the six-month announcement.

If they want to begin their careers under me by making themselves useful, this is an excellent opportunity.”

The lieutenant inclined his head.

I turned away from the corpse.

The matter was finished.

The return journey was considerably quieter.

My cape had several tears in it, my uniform was covered in dust, and I had a particularly annoying pain in my left shoulder from the explosion that had thrown me against the wall.

Nothing serious.

I was mostly tired.

The lieutenant, sitting across from me, was already reviewing the first pieces of information provided by our new contractees.

“They confirm a significant increase in gang activity since the Extermination announcement.”

I looked at him with a snort.

“What a surprise.”

“Several groups are stockpiling weapons and supplies.

Others are attempting to control access to certain shelters.

Prices for secure housing have also risen sharply in several districts.”

“And those who can’t pay?”

“Some are seeking the protection of Overlords or larger gangs.”

I sighed.

Exactly what I had feared.

The angels hadn’t even begun their next Extermination, yet their decision was already doing its work.

Fear was enough.

Six fewer months meant six fewer months to find shelter, accumulate resources, pay for protection, or simply prepare to temporarily disappear from the most exposed areas.

Those who possessed something were trying to protect it.

Those who possessed nothing were trying to take what they needed.

And in the middle of all that, idiots like our deceased leader saw an opportunity to become important.

“We’re going to have more problems,” I said.

“Probably.”

“Strengthen our commercial escorts for a while.

Not enough to make it look like we’re afraid, but enough to make the next attempts much more expensive.”

“I’ll transmit the orders as soon as we arrive.”

I leaned back in my seat.

My communicator vibrated in my pocket.

I pulled it out and saw a message from Charlie.

Hi!

How’s your day going?

I hope it’s less chaotic than things are here.

Angel and Sir Pentious started something again and Vaggie is about two seconds away from exploding.

I looked at the message.

Then at my torn uniform.

Then at my lieutenant, whose coat was still covered in dust and blood.

Finally, I glanced through the rear window toward the second vehicle carrying ten newly contracted souls after a battle involving several dozen sinners and six pieces of dimensional artillery.

I began typing.

Pretty quiet.

A few administrative problems with a supplier.

Technically, the problem had involved a shipment.

So I sent the message.

Charlie’s response arrived less than a minute later.

See!

I knew you had normal days!

I stared at the screen.

A laugh escaped me.

The lieutenant looked up from his documents.

“Something amusing?”

I put away my communicator.

“Charlie thinks I had a normal day.”

He looked at my uniform.

Then at his own torn sleeve.

“Should I correct her?”

“Absolutely not.”

I smiled and closed my eyes.

“Let her enjoy that version.”

The vehicle continued toward the domain as Pentagram City gradually disappeared behind us.

I knew, however, that what had just happened wouldn’t remain an isolated incident.

The gang had been stupid.

Its leader even more so.

But the information we had recovered confirmed something far more interesting than their attempt to build themselves a reputation.

The city was already beginning to change.

Charlie now had six months to try to prove that damned souls could become better.

Meanwhile, some of those very same souls were responding to the approaching Exorcists by stockpiling weapons, robbing their neighbors, and killing one another for the best positions before the next catastrophe.

I didn’t know which of those two reactions said more about Hell.

What I did know was that if the next six months continued like this, Adam wouldn’t even need to come down here to fuck everything up.

We were perfectly capable of doing that ourselves.

Full novel: hazbin hotel: Tanya the Overlord — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠
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