Jiang He bought the premium dating guidance service. The customer service sent him a questionnaire, asking him to fill out his details carefully and truthfully.
[Dear, please make sure the information in the questionnaire is accurate! Our shop will assign you a suitable guide based on your situation to help you achieve a happy relationship!]
[Note: To protect privacy, you don’t have to upload photos for physical features—you can describe them in text, but photos are even better!]
Jiang He didn’t comment and quickly filled it out:
…
Your ideal partner:
Jiang He quickly reined in his thoughts, covering his mouth with his fist, coughing twice, ears flushed, muttering angrily, “Annoying!”
He continued:
After finishing, he clicked send. Leaning back, he tapped the table lazily, waiting for feedback. Several minutes later, the customer service finally replied with a string of overly polite “muah muah” messages, then cautiously asked:
[Dear, based on your information, you are a very outstanding gentleman. Even without actively pursuing, many would admire you.]
[But you’ve chosen to stay single with zero romantic experience. Why is that?]
Jiang He was about to reply “Not interested” when they carefully sent another question:
[Could it be because you’re impotent?]
Jiang He: “…?!”
His face was as if struck by lightning. Instinctively, he looked down at his lower body, instantly furious and speechless, forgetting to even yell.
Damn it! Him? Impotent?! He could scare people when aroused, tear blankets! He thought about checking the shop’s registration to bankrupt them—so unprofessional!
Just as he was about to act, his phone suddenly vibrated wildly, bombarded with messages.
Customer Service:
Jiang He’s anger gradually subsided. He let out a soft hum and magnanimously replied: “Mm.”
Unbeknownst to him, before the customer service sent these “damage control” messages, in a certain apartment in a certain city, an act of workplace bullying occurred. The landlady yanked the shop owner by the ear, roaring like a tigress:
The shop owner hugged his chubby self, defensively mumbling:
The landlady snapped:
She kicked the owner out, sat at the computer, transforming from pre-sales to Guide #081, diligently starting her work.
Guide #081:
Jiang He frowned: “Cute numbers? Isn’t 520 more direct?”
Guide #081: “…Yes, you’re clever! With your strong financial power, 520 is highly recommended!”
Jiang He raised an eyebrow and sent an OK emoji. The landlady wiped sweat from her brow, patting her chest: “Almost forgot, this is a big client!”
…
Yu Yingying’s phone, vibrating continuously in her bag, she finally powered it off. After finishing two Advanced Algebra classes and packing up, she turned the phone on to see who had messaged her.
Opening WeChat, she froze. It was Jiang He.
The main account chat was full of glaring 520-yuan transfers, each with notes like “Good afternoon, Girl” or “Hearts,” the intensity of the messages almost frightening.
Yu Qing peeked over: “Wow! Your hot-headed boyfriend is generous—a big spender!”
Yu Yingying stayed suspiciously quiet. Somehow, at this moment, she deeply understood the phrase: “Wealth cannot corrupt, poverty cannot sway.”
“Won’t you accept it?” Yu Qing asked. “It’s normal! Many boys send their girlfriends red envelopes, order food or drinks for them. Your boyfriend’s just more generous—he has money!”
Yu Yingying: “…”
Yu Qing: “Really normal, I promise! He must be nervous since you’ve been ignoring him, hahaha!”
Yu Yingying couldn’t smile, head aching. Maybe it was normal, but… seeing “Girl” and “Hearts” made her feel inexplicably resistant. She didn’t want this dirty money.
“Let’s go eat,” she said, putting the phone away.
“After lunch, will you go back to the dorm to nap?” Yu Qing asked.
“No.” Yu Yingying shook her head. “I’ll go to the library early to reserve a spot and study.”
Yu Qing groaned softly: “I knew it!” Yu Yingying smiled slightly, her almond-shaped eyes curved.
After lunch, however, she couldn’t make it to the library. At the entrance of the Third Cafeteria, someone stopped her.
A neat-looking boy with black-rimmed glasses, blushing, asked nervously:
“Yu Yingying, I’m Wang Wei, the class study committee member… Are you going to the library? Um… want to go together?”