By the time Hikigaya returned to the classroom, lunch break was not yet over.
Pushing open the door, he saw a few people scattered about—some were sleeping on their desks, others were looking down at their phones. He walked back to his seat and sat down.
He slumped over his desk and closed his eyes, his mind still dwelling on the scene in the courtyard: Sakuraba Ema with her red-rimmed eyes, and that phrase...
"You were talking about yourself, too..."
So annoying.
He buried his face in his arms.
After an unknown amount of time, the sound of a chair moving came from the front. Hikigaya didn't look up.
"Hikigaya-kun."
Saeki Miria called his name softly.
He lifted his head and saw Saeki Miria turned sideways, one hand resting on his desk, looking at him.
"Sakuraba-san came back a moment ago," she said. "What did you say to her?"
Hikigaya thought for a moment.
"I told her some truths."
Saeki Miria nodded, turned back around, and didn't ask further.
The preparatory bell rang; afternoon classes were about to begin.
Sakuraba Ema pushed the door open and walked in.
Hikigaya caught a glimpse of her profile out of the corner of his eye. Her eyes were red, but her expression was calm.
She seemed to sense his gaze and tilted her head slightly.
Their eyes met.
She blanked for a second, then the corners of her mouth curved up, revealing that tiny snaggletooth.
Hikigaya withdrew his gaze and looked toward the chalkboard. The teacher was saying something at the podium; afternoon classes had begun.
He propped up his chin and didn't look sideways again.
.
.
.
When the dismissal bell rang, Hikigaya packed his things and stood up.
"See you tomorrow, Hikigaya-kun," Sakuraba Ema's voice came from beside him.
He nodded and walked out of the classroom.
By the time he reached the first floor, he heard footsteps behind him. He didn't turn around.
While changing his shoes, a voice popped up from the side.
"Yo, Hikitani!"
Hikigaya tilted his head. A guy who looked a bit dim-witted was standing there, waving at him.
He seemed to be from the back of the class... what was his name... Tobe?
He ignored him and continued changing his shoes.
Tobe leaned in and glanced behind him—at the spot where those footsteps had stopped.
"I heard the girls talking earlier," Tobe lowered his voice, wearing an expression that said 'I've discovered a secret.' "You worked at the same cafe as Saeki-san during the summer?"
Hikigaya's movements paused for a second.
"Who'd you hear that from?"
"Just those girls in class." Tobe shrugged. "They were chatting about Saeki-san, saying you two knew each other from before."
Hikigaya didn't answer and put his outdoor shoes back in the locker.
Tobe leaned in a bit closer. "And another thing," his voice carried a hint of surprise, "when I went to the courtyard at noon to buy a drink, I saw you and Sakuraba-san eating together."
He sized Hikigaya up from head to toe.
"You're doing alright for yourself, kid. Only two days into the term and you've got girls on both sides."
Hikigaya stood up and picked up his school bag.
"Are you finished?"
"Huh? Yeah, I'm finished." Tobe blinked.
Hikigaya walked past him toward the school gate.
Tobe muttered behind him, "What's with that attitude..."
At the first intersection outside the school gate, Hikigaya stopped.
The footsteps behind him stopped as well.
He turned around. Saeki Miria was standing a few meters away, looking at him, her blonde ponytail draped over her shoulder and her bag in hand.
"...Is there something?"
Saeki Miria shook her head, then nodded.
She walked over and stood beside him. She kept her head down and didn't speak.
Hikigaya waited. After a few seconds, she finally spoke.
"At noon... I didn't ask in detail what you said to Sakuraba-san," Saeki paused. "But I've been thinking...
Was it because of how I addressed you yesterday... that title?"
Hikigaya was confused.
"What?"
"Just..." Saeki gripped her bag strap tightly. "'Hachiman-kun.' Did she misunderstand something and then go find you at noon because of that...?"
She didn't finish, but Hikigaya understood.
She looked at him, her eyes filled with unease, like a child who had done something wrong.
"You thought she confessed to me?"
Saeki Miria didn't speak, but her expression confirmed it.
"And then you thought I rejected her?"
Hikigaya sighed. "You're overthinking it."
Saeki Miria looked up. "Then why did she..."
"It has nothing to do with confessions," Hikigaya said. "It's her own business."
Hikigaya considered his wording.
"She mistook me for someone else," he said. "She thought I was the person who helped her in middle school. I just clarified to her that it wasn't me."
Saeki Miria was stunned.
"That's it?"
"That's it."
Saeki Miria looked at him and waited for a moment. Confirming he didn't intend to say more, she gave a soft nod.
"That's good, then."
She turned as if to leave.
"Saeki." Hikigaya looked at her back. "You followed me just to ask that?"
She didn't turn around.
"...Mhm."
Silence drifted by with a gust of wind.
Hikigaya thought back to that month, the messages on her phone, and the way she looked standing on the pedestrian bridge.
This person always took other people's problems upon herself.
"About that month," he said, "don't think too much about it."
Saeki Miria turned around.
"You applied to this school and follow me every day because of that month, right?" He looked away. "You feel like you owe me, or you think I'm some kind of 'good person,' but there's no need for that."
Saeki Miria remained silent.
"Because the swap couldn't be undone for that month, I had to stay in your body," Hikigaya said.
"Since I was there anyway, I just handled those messages of yours as I went. Those flies were buzzing around; it was annoying to watch."
He let out a sigh.
"You're making too big a deal out of this.
I don't need your gratitude."
Saeki Miria pursed her lips. After a few seconds, she spoke.
"That month..." She took a breath. "It really was important. Without that month, I might not be standing here right now."
She looked at him.
"But that's not everything.
I applied to this school because I really did want to be closer to you," she said. "But it wasn't because I felt I owed you something or wanted to repay a debt. It was because..."
The corners of her mouth curved slightly.
"Because of you, yourself.
You have a sharp tongue, you're lazy about getting involved in other people's business, and you act indifferent toward everyone," Saeki said. "But during that month, among the things you did for me, there wasn't a single thing you had to do.
You just did them, and then said nothing. You didn't expect me to be grateful, you didn't think I was pitiful, and you didn't act like it was some grand achievement."
Her voice was soft, but every word was clear.
"That's the first time I've ever met someone like that."
Hikigaya looked away.
"...You're overthinking it."
"Yeah," Saeki nodded, "maybe so.
But my wanting to get close to you isn't because of that month. It's because of you."
The green light came on. They stood there, unmoving.
After a few seconds, Hikigaya spoke.
"The light's green."
"...Mhm."
Neither of them moved.
Hikigaya sighed.
"Saeki, I know you're serious about what you said.
But you also know the kind of person I am," Hikigaya said. "I don't hold back my tongue, I have this 'dead' look toward everyone, and I'm usually too lazy to care. But if I actually run into something, I can't just turn my head and walk away either.
So, regarding that month—I would have done the same for anyone else. It wasn't anything special."
Saeki looked at him.
"I know."
"If you know, then why..."
"If I know, why am I still like this?" she interjected. "Is that not allowed?
I never said I wanted to make you do anything specific," she said. "I just wanted you to know that I'm not doing this out of some sense of repayment, that's all."
She looked up and smiled.
"Knowing that is enough."
She took a step back and turned around.
"I'm going then."
Hikigaya stood in place, watching her back.
He stood for a few seconds, then also turned to walk home.
After a few steps, he stopped and glanced back.
People were coming and going on that street; he could no longer tell which one was her.